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Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by franchasofficia: 10:42pm On Feb 27 |
luminouz:Just pray not to be in a tight condition or situation that will push you to do that. I will give you a real life example of someone I know. This guy I know dropped out of school at OND level due to family poverty, and later struggled to start a business he was doing and was doing fine. He later married a lady who was a university graduate. 8 years later, his business started going down due to government policies of Buhari, his only option then to save his entire family (wife and 3 kids) from impending economic hardship was to Japa with the savings he had. Their best option was for his wife to go for masters in UK while he and their 3 kids joined as dependents. In this situation, what do you expect the man to do? |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by luminouz(m): 10:49pm On Feb 27 |
franchasofficia:I understand your point. Look at it my way. The man married a university graduate and for many years was able to support a family, enough to transit them abroad but he couldn't do Distance Learning course or National Open University course to get BSc? It's called thinking ahead. No matter how worthless education is here, the certificate is needed to apply for stuffs elsewhere. He failed to develop himself bro. Unless that wife really cares about him, you think she would bow to him in the UK with a master's degree? People don't understand that women want to look up to their man, not look down on him and once you are failing in that regard, it's over. What kind of job do you think he would do in the UK as somebody without no evidence of any certificate...factory job? For how long? What's his endgame? He thinks his wife will start working and earning big pounds and she will take care of the family for him in the long run? *Sighs* Most men don't know women and that's why they get burnt 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by franchasofficia: 10:54pm On Feb 27 |
luminouz:You have a valid point but still, I know a lot of guys living in Nigeria and abroad who married when they were say rich according to our Naija version of being rich and they and their wives are doing very fine no issues and waxing stronger. I am Igbo, by nature most Igbo guys marry late cos we always love to achieve a certain level of financial stability before we go into marriage, so literally most of my closest friends are Igbo guys who married when they were financially buoyant and they still married superb chicks with wonderful home training. Some are living in the US, UK, Europe; and they came back to Naija to marry their wives whom they didn't even court physically for too long per se yet they are having a great marital life without issues. I just believe most guys don't know how to spot a genuinely good girl with good values. Marrying a good girl is not even about marrying a virgin like some ignorant guys here believe, but it's about knowing the girl's beliefs, values, what matters most to her, what she thinks about marriage, what she believes in, how she see men and the marriage institution, the family she is coming from, how was she raised, what and what was she exposed to? Her life challenges and how she overcame them? What she does like her job or business and how did she get there and how does her job or business shape or affect her thinking about life or understanding and relationship with men in relation to her job or business or craft These things are what guys ignore and focus on the wrong qualities and things that don't usually matter at the long run 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by franchasofficia: 11:00pm On Feb 27 |
luminouz:Like I said, some things are easier said than done. Some business will never give you the chance to embark on any other thing unless you don't want to make it big in that business. I speak from experience. During my business startup and developmental stage, I hardly had time to come online or to study cos by the time I am back home, I was already exhausted and weak to even find something to eat to talk of reading or doing any other thing cos then I was not married, I was single. I enrolled for several postgraduate programmes at different universities but couldn't continue due to several factors ranging from time constraints to distance to fund. Mind you, back then, distance education was not as popular and recognized as it is now, which made most people not to consider distance learning as a good option not until recently that Nigerians realized that it's as recognized all over the world as traditional universities. But I do understand your point still |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Collins4u1(m): 11:11pm On Feb 27 |
this your wife no get respect oooo. well Op, you can't do anything. remeber na she get the sponsorship. it's either you start looking for your own sponsorship or you start preparing to come back home |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by luminouz(m): 11:22pm On Feb 27 |
franchasofficia:I understand your point. You and your friends are among the lucky ones. Especially coming home to marry the girls based here. 1 Like |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by edimina: 11:25pm On Feb 27 |
Opanka44: I wont deny the fact that something may have happened between her and either of the two guys, or better still both of them. Bu tthen what can a man do if i havent gotten a concrete evidence. Someone had mentioned that i should opt for divorce, divorce is not an option at this stage of my life because of the kids, people talking about divorce in an instance like this probably dont know the importance of wonderful children that I discreetly did DNA for and they are all mine when I can try to wait until they are a little bit old and finally find my way. The raw truth is that, my madam set scatter, and she fine well, but in as much as i know that SOME/MOST women are gullible, mine is very very gugglible with all the ot she spose dun learn from me since 11 years now,, so I understand why those wolves might want to take advantage. I have a short story as to what i think led to the see finish coming from madams friends. So one day after we both were back from work, she dey watch tv, na so i near then we started doing it, so i noticed the place was a bit opened, so i respectfully asked, bae this place seems different like its a bit wide, what could be wrong...she said she does not know. I sha run am like that cos am loyal and am not effing any woman here. 2nd day for early momo, i made move again, this time she arrogantly said no that shes not in the mood. I said no p, but i secrectly took P, cos for this town ehn, if u nor get woman na die u dey only some few are lucky to get good companion. On the long run she was talkin to me but i was paying her good attention so she freaked out and said them dey use sex collect money for bank? Me sef come talk sey i nor fit blame u na, sebi u sef dey collect out there na why u fit dey deny me sex when nor be everytime we dey nack. Omo she dropped the nagasaki/hiroshima on me. she replied saying that a broke mans dick should not even stand erect in the first place, talkless of wanting to Bleep. I am not broke here oo, i can pay my bills and feed family adequately, we share bills, but most def i as a man have to up my side up with a fair percentage, and we can still go out once in a while, shop online and all that, so where that word came from was from the pit of hell. She said i should not try to make any damn move on her again, that i body shamed her and now wanting to come nack! Sey shey me i now know sey body dey change sometimes sey maybe na why the place wide and so slippery wet, details like this isnt what am spose to be sharing and am saying here the blue truth and nothing but the truth, but am anonynous, so people can learn and share from my experience. Weeks pass, no s.x, but during that period, she dey use yansh pursue me for bed stylishly i nor dey even move, so during that time i had to go chat one of my old time ex up, madam saw the whatsapp chat on my phone, it read that, can you please remind me of our sexual past, she answered, why, i said because nothing for me here, i wan just use the memory jerk off make i cum, infact attached is the snip of the chat wey she see. Las las, she cried, i begged her and told her at least nor be sey i go Bleep outside, i did what was wrong indeed no excuse but na masturbation na him still wan end am, she went to work and discussed the matter with one of this her male friend, cos i saw the txt wey the guy talk sey make she come meet am for lounge for up sey make them talk. The story dun dey long, am just here after a long day at work trying to pour out my mind. I will continue tmr with the afforementioned episode. 1 Like |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by franchasofficia: 11:25pm On Feb 27 |
luminouz:lol you could be right about the luck thing but I still believe it's beyond luck. Being smart and realistic as a man helps a lot. Most guys that ended up with the wrong wife saw the warning signs but ignored them out of she will change, I may not find another pretty girl like her, etc. Like I said, being smart and realistic with life helps a lot |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by PureFace1(m): 11:27pm On Feb 27 |
Rizzputin: You said he is not strong enough but in your comment you are also not strong enough if at that point divorce and separation is the last thing on your mind. You are a weak man if a woman walked all over and disrespected you like that and probably even cheated on you but still hoping she will change instead of looking for a way to walk away forever. These women act this way because they know men wouldn't walk away until they get seriously burn. The disrespect from the woman should not be tolerated and the woman has already lost respect for him and the respect can not be gotten back, you said he should consider getting other women around for the hope of getting the woman to behave but how long is he going to play that kind of game ? the chance of the woman escalating things and going full bitter and vengeful is even very high, if he play that kind of game. He is just going to be stressing and deceiving himself. If Op want to regain his dignity and sanity he should walk away now peacefully and quietly no woman can disrespect or cheat on a strong man that blatantly and get away with it. It is over forever Once a cheater and toxic woman with no respect always a cheater and toxic woman with no respect. If a man is not strong enough to end it he should forget about her changing lol because it is impossible you should rather brace yourself for serious impact of toxic characters. |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by franchasofficia: 11:28pm On Feb 27 |
edimina:Since you know your problem and the solution, just try and endure and set a target for yourself and don't lose guard. Have a backup plan in place in case she decides to file for divorce tomorrow. Have a plan in place for worst case scenario. As for being beautiful, that is never an excuse for her to be misbehaving. If you see my wifey, you go know say your wife na average no jokes yet she humble, loyal and coordinated pass Ngozi Okonjo Iweala lol And my wife beauty really reflected on our kids cos me na Obasanjo twin bros 3 Likes |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by edimina: 11:51pm On Feb 27 |
franchasofficia: Brother well na so life be, maybe i was not just lucky on that path, she gave mw wonderful and very smart children, but the whole thing dun scatter everything, i dun endure for years, i no longer love her because the constant disregard and disrespect over time dun finish me, on my own, i cant even mend the love again. We are both cute looking couples, but not just compatible enough to be able to manage the situation. |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by 1Sharon(f): 12:06am On Feb 28 |
edimina: You said you put a spy camera in her car. Did you manage to finish watching the recording? |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Yankee101: 1:18am On Feb 28 |
The UK has an elaborate network of cheap underground/rail/bus transportation There’s no excuse to pick and drop 3 people every day you go to work Your wife is either a people pleaser or she’s not telling you the whole story. Either way it’s dangerous. Ask her to keep the car and take public transport for a week or two so the dependency stops them she can begin using it again. |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Mentholated: 2:55am On Feb 28 |
Yankee101: There is nothing like people pleaser here. She is committing adultery. Marriage is simple. I ask you a simple straightforward question. You give me a simple straightforward answer. Life continues. Once your spouse starts hesitating to answer, deflecting, postponing or ignoring LOGICAL answers to your simple straightforward questions, be suspicious. If there are persistent lies, unaccountable hours, phone secrecy and outright disrespect. Your spouse is cheating on you. You do not need any concrete evidence. Marriage is not a union where you need to be a private investigator or a spy. This is a union that should be built on truth, openness and trust. If you ever feel the need to investigate your spouse in a marriage, he or she is most likely cheating on you. You will be called insecure and controlling, just deal with it. |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Badmashiii: 4:38am On Feb 28 |
Goodlady: How about i offer you something better? Like an hour of a good smashing with a nice,thick,juicy 12 inches cock? $500 dollars can't beat that you know. |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Badmashiii: 4:42am On Feb 28 |
Mentholated: The possibility of the kids ain't his? No need for that. Simps enjoy raising another man seed as long as it's their WIVES that birthed them. Definitely,SIMPS are very useful in any society. |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Badmashiii: 4:48am On Feb 28 |
Double0h7: Bros abeg sey na man you be? All the comments you made on this thread are making sense walahi and it's hard to believe a banny can reason like this. |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by ProtonX: 5:39am On Feb 28 |
OP, what do you do for work? All I see here is a woman being the bread winner. What that your agreement? Life, including marriage is a gamble. It takes the grace of God to have a partner who has the fear of God and will stand by you no matter what. Do your investigations, may God help you. |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by TheGreatIYANU: 5:41am On Feb 28 |
Lot's of permutations on here, but the FACT is this - the man is not RESPECTED by his partner. Bible never even instructed women to love their husbands. That instruction was given to men because God knows his creature If you understand the psyche of women, you will know for a fact that the way men process love is totally different from the way a woman processes love. In the psyche of a woman, every woman, love is conditional. Whether it be your appearance, her perception of your ability to protect and provide for her offspring, etc, her love will rise and fall on various conditions. It is only men who can love the person, not perception. When you start from here, you will finally come to the conclusion that to get a loyal partner and build a solid home is not by her beauty, intellect or current predisposition towards you. The most important thing to look out for when choosing a woman that would ride by your side forever is her upbringing. Examine critically, the dynamic between her parents and family in general. That is exactly what will play out in your own family. A lady who is indoctrinated in a family where moral uprightness (NOT only religious) and character are upheld will NEVER cheat on you, even if you are the poorest man in your community and she works as PA to Dangote . On the other hand, a lady who is nurtured in a family with lax moral values and limited to no focus on character development will cheat at the slightest change in condition (or perception) -> dis-attraction from you, attraction to- or attention from- another male. There are rich wives and wives of rich men in Abuja who have a harem of f*ck boys on call. There are also wives of middle class guys who are grinding and hustling with their husbands to give their kids an excellent future. This ones have zero time for nonsense. If you as a man move to them anyhow, you will be lambasted and violently chucked into your place. It is even her husband that will tell her to take it easy with you. All this talk of get money or be the boss or this or that is meaningless when it comes to the actual psyche of a woman. You can work frigging hard, submit your entire salary to your wife and even lay down your life for her and all that effort will go un-appreciated to a woman with zero values. On the other hand, you can go about you daily hustle, contribute your quota and your wife brings hers as well to the table. She will adore you, love you, respect you and even become your driving force to greater achievement. More often than not, you can tell which category a lady will fall if you know what to look for. If you are able to overcome the cloud of sexual desire, you will see her for who she is more clearly. This is why even though I am a servant of God and Pastor, I sometimes lean towards the school of thought that supports co-habitation before marriage. You'd be able to see and assess where the VALUES of your wife-to-be lie and make your decision whether to go ahead or not. However, God is still in the process of directing His children. If you are a man with vision and purpose, after God's heart, His kingdom and godliness, He will never send Jezebel your way. 2 Likes |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by FinidiGeorge: 5:45am On Feb 28 |
edimina:Welcome to the white man's land! |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by ProtonX: 5:55am On Feb 28 |
franchasofficia: You're wise! I read these stories too and I wonder. 14 years and counting with zero issues and na abroad we dey. And like you said, no one around us is having these issues. I'm wondering if it's a generational behaviour with age 40 and under but I might be wrong. |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by delzbaba(m): 7:09am On Feb 28 |
Georgekyrian:this case is unique, they left friends and family behind and relocated to a new country and it seems one person finds it's easier to make new friends than the other, he must have seen some of the traits his wife is exhibiting there before he married her abi? |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Inspirer1: 7:34am On Feb 28 |
Double0h7: May God not let your wisdom derail. Amen. Just little addendum: 1. He should pray for perseverance not to react negatively during the long wait period, there'll be temptations to react. 2. Relate well and take good care of his children as much as he could. 3. Try to have an investment in Nigera (for a worst case scenario) Cc: edimina |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by EreluRoz: 8:04am On Feb 28 |
Things are happening in this life sha, in as much as I dislike redpillers there's this quote from them that I buy and it says "let your woman choose you" A woman hardly cheat on the man they choose, the thought won't even cross their mind. If ops wife married that her boyfriend bestie now you'll be surprised how submissive she'll be and will not even have that thought of looking elsewhere. Thank God for my life, na manners them say we no get but Ashawo no follow. See as Luminouz just Dy everywhere for this op matter Dy happy. Call martinez39s your partner in women hating business to kom chop food. Op my advise is pray and fast, take her for deliverance, dress well and smell nice all the time, take her out and buy gifts for her, go on vacations, be in shape, let that six packs show, brush your teeth well, cook for her, make sure the house is clean, respect her people and send money to them. Beg for her forgiveness and tell her she should forgive you for making her cheat on you, keep your penis clean and exfoliate your scrotum sac often, encourage her always. Above all love her unconditionally 1 Like |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by franchasofficia: 8:12am On Feb 28 |
ProtonX:Lol, it's more than under 40 issue oh cos me I am under 40 myself and having no marital issue at all. Sometimes I do jokingly ask my wife; do you have any regret being married at all? And she will be like; why are u asking? lol, and she will jokingly add something like this; na you self I de fear make u no carry one chick land for this house say na your second wife hahahahaha, as she always call me "baby oku" lolz Their ugly stories always discourage single guys and put fear in the heart of those planning to marry lol. I think successful married guys should be sharing stories of their marital bliss online to encourage single ones. Imagine one guy opened a thread here telling people that he will never marry because all the married guys he knows or see around him look wretched and pitiable, and he forgot hundreds if not thousands of Nigerian guys married to wonderful Nigerian ladies that turned their lives around. I know a handful of Naija guys whose Doctor and Nurse wives single handedly sponsored and took their husbands abroad, where they now live a better life than they were living back in Nigeria. Yes we know that there are a lot of ill mannered, unmarriageable Nigerian ladies around, but that does not negate the fact that we have wonderful Nigerian ladies that turned the lives of the men they married around for good. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by franchasofficia: 8:17am On Feb 28 |
EreluRoz:lol, all these things you mentioned won't change the bad chick op married, the connection is not there one, she seems to be one of those ladies that love wild life, and like they say, it's not always advisable to domesticate a wild animal, one day it will go wild and devour you the keeper unknowingly in an attempt to exhibit it's natural form. "na manners them say we no get but ashawo no follow" hehe, Iya abeg no burst my belle oh 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Goodlady(f): 8:31am On Feb 28 |
Badmashiii:Gimme $500 first and we ll discuss the rest |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Great0ne1: 8:36am On Feb 28 |
franchasofficia:There has to be other option. Other countries aside Europe. I will never accept this arrangement. Have seem enough from women |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by FinidiGeorge: 9:31am On Feb 28 |
pocohantas: |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Pinkdimples: 9:32am On Feb 28 |
Coolsat:Oh my God! That's extreme wickedness. Why are some women like this? |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Coolsat(m): 9:48am On Feb 28 |
Pinkdimples:She don born by now and the man has no clue, I overheard all the conversation from her seer and asking her seer to prepare something for her to go with, she could not abort it because she don already do enough abortion, if you want know women secret just find one seer as your padi na that day fear go catch you, women of this generation are dangerous. There was another one that was boldly cheating with a man abroad and when her husband complained of how she runs to the room and lock the door to receive a particular call at odd hours, she started fighting him and even brag to her husband that the man is abroad based and not a local man. Can you imagine? Things Dy happen ooo |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by FRANCISTOWN: 11:28am On Feb 28 |
incogni2o:I totally disagree. Only men who aren't strong enough marry. A man who is too weak to be alone, who feels a woman complements him, who feels without a woman he is incomplete, a man who can't face the reality of life by himself, a man who is a man but refuses to leave childhood is the one who gets married. Many of the greatest minds in the world who achieved so much greatness didn't marry. Those who married out of ignorance later divorced their women when they realized that women are detriments to achieving greatness. Leonardo DaVinci was a man of incredible achievements yet he believed that it was impossible for him to live a fulfilled life with a woman Isaac Newton was reclusive, had one or two platonic female friends that he allowed into his life, but basically he lived a life of solitude and secrecy. Women were of no interest In short Newton didn't get married because he was concerned about the gravity of the consequences Nikola Tesla had one of the greatest minds the world has ever seen, He told a reporter, “I do not believe an inventor should marry” and went on to explain that woman would take up far too much of his time. He did catch the attention of his share of women, but he never made a move to get serious with any of them. According to him He wasn’t married because he was intelligent enough to perceive that relationships are a major impediment to a perfect working mind. Brahmagupta, an Indian mathematician and astronomer who calculated the solar year and discovered the zero, algorithms for square roots and the solution of quadratic equations Alfred Nobel. Never got married. Alan Turing Never got married Einstein had to divorce his wife, Marić, because she was beginning to become a bother that when they divorced in 1919, Einstein had to promise her that, if he ever won the Nobel Prize, he would give her all the money. Einstein knew that with the woman in his life, he would never be able to achieve that greatness, he needed some time alone. So when Einstein was staying with the Chaplins, he started playing the piano and writing notes. He went upstairs to his study and did not emerge, so Charlie’s wife brought up his food. After two weeks, Einstein came downstairs with two pages bearing his general theory of relativity. (I still don't understand how feminists were able to insert his wife into contributing into his discovery all in the name of behind every successful man there must be a woman bull crap) Elon musk's had to give up his marriage before he could successfully bring about Tesla to where it is today. Many generals in the past were never married. Jesus Never married. Melchizedek never married Paul the chiefest apostle never married VeryWickedMan: I do not agree that men who married were simps. I'd just say that they are not strong enough. 1 Like |
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