Women are running from the verdict of God that said '... and thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee'. This is the summary of the whole matter. There is no peace without adhering to this instruction. The man on the other hand must provide for his wife and love her as christ love the church. To love your wife as christ love the church is no mean task but very doable.

As a Women's Minister, she is addressing women only and telling them how they to keep their homes peaceful. She's is not saying or implying that it is acceptable for a man to be shouting at his woman though. It's about using wisdom know how to deal with things outside your control in order to get the best outcome for you.

Amotolongbo:
In as much as women shouldn’t argue with their husbands at home, the men don’t need to raise their voice on their women. If there is any issue, they should both try to iron it out peacefully without raising voice

You are failing your family and even you wife be keeping quiet because she needs you to guide her as head of the household. Eventually the chaos that your lack of guidance would create would tear apart your home and the peace you believe are preserving by letting her do as she likes. I was like you so I am talking from experience.

illicit:
Na me dey avoid argument
😶

I hope the ladies heard her well

tunjijones:
Talk from now till tomorrow, them no go hear.

And besides it's kinda difficult to be submissive. Some men can be so petty and annoying.

@ the bolded, remember that nothing worth doing is ever easy.

Prov 14:1

Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.

Islie:


https://dailytrust.com/shut-up-during-argument-with-your-husbands-minister-warns-women/

wany:

Your child will look down on you , if you don't measure up , not to mention a partner.

Like the way you look down on your parents, come be my child and look down if I don't send you to Early grave...you think every man is like your weakling parents.

MrBrownJay1:
ARRANT NONSENSE FROM YEYE WOMAN (who should be fired from her post)
a marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. so as much as people in marriage shouldnt shout/insult one another, they should BOTH communicate and work out their differences in a mature manner. telling women to shut up as if they are always wrong (and/or men are always right) is clueless! and even though men are consider the head of the family, it doesnt mean that your woman doesnt have her say in the union.

so your woman's views/opinion are irrelevant in marriage now?! what kind of yeye person would even want such woman in their life?

circus monkeys saying utter rubbish!

Thank you! You have said it all.

MrBrownJay1:


read again what i wrote, this time slowly and with a clear mind.

an argument is NOT always a woman talking back to a man, it can also be a man talking back to a woman.

Don't mind that one. When the majority of the time, it's the other way around. Women are not second class citizens! You'll speak outside too and they'll tell you they have your type at home lol

DaytonaAries:
It's the response from men for me. Nigeria still has a long way to go in educating the male child.

In a saner country; do you think you can beat your your wife for arguing with you? Men in this post are glorifying domestic violence. Do you think if some women shut up their husband won't beat them.


Go to homes for women that have been abused. You would know that domestic violence isn't a thing of just keeping your mouth shut. Some women if they breathe the wrong way, thier husband would beat them, if they sit they wrong way, they get beat up even infront of their kids. Some men even ask their kids to beat the mother.


How a whole Minister of women affairs can come hear and say such things and think keeping quiet would stop domestic violence is appalling.


You need to teach people no one has the right to hit anyone just because they have an argument with you. Would men beat uo their bosses or colleagues for the same argument? No they would not.


The response from men in this post just reeks of ignorance on domestic violence issues. It Just reeks of poverty riddled mentality and lack of exposure. I don't blame them, it is the society that makes them think it is right to beat up their wives and get away with it I blame.

💯

Anashe:


Examples of madness roaming Nigeria's streets. But you won't pick on someone your own size.

Even you, come clean...I will beat you so bad that you can't remember your last name.

immortalcrown:
Dear women (Jennyclay excluded), kindly take the advice. But what is good for the goose is also good for the gander. Men should remember that women are also humans with feelings. Speak to her exactly the way you expect her to speak to you. Don't push a woman to the wall because the society expects her to tackle maltreatment with dumbness. Golden rule! Treat others the way you want to be treated.

I am a man. The way I feel when my fellow man insults me is how I also feel when a woman insults me. I find it weird when men say that women's insult is more painful. But every man can't be me.

Men insult fellow men with caution,facts and restraint but insults, embarrassment disgrace from that f gender ,there is no guarantee to caution nor restraints.

bukatyne:


And you don’t realise that it is only dictators that you always keep quiet for whether they are right or wrong?

Did you just say it's is "ONLY dictators you keep quiet for whether tight or wrong"

You need a Cranium check and reprogramming...

LORD!!!!

Just imagine the mentality...

So when your parents talk to you or even correct/reprimand you to discipline you,while you are supposed to be quiet and listen,they are dictators

You are not even yet married,young woman...

Yet you are already a failure in your future marriage...

Good advice. My wife used to nag seriously until I walked away for 5 days. Both families were looking for me . In a nutshell, I can't remember the last time she did it again. Try it..dey works like fire.. stop arguing with with emotional being.. you will never pass your message.

Nolevel666:

Until she cheats on him with another “alpha male” wey no dey gree for anybody

Dey play!

True talk. Case in point is Portable wey get up to 7 baby Mama's including the wife of the late Alaafin of Oyo who is currently pregnant for him.

Like him or not, Portable is an Alpha male who is the boss in his ever increasing Harem.

Nolevel666:

Until she cheats on him with another “alpha male” wey no dey gree for anybody

Dey play!

Many years ago in London, a friends wife cheated on him with another married man and my friend offered to forgive her but she told him point blank not to forgive her 'cos that will make her treat him like a footmat. She ended up forcing the sale of their house through the courts and the courts gave her 65% of the profits on sale as they had young kids.

My friend just pack commot for London go a different city and settled for a Jamaican woman although I heard that he lost one kidney (possibly due to drowning his sorrows with alcohol before meeting the Jamaican woman).

This na guy wey dey pamper him wife even before they got married to the point that when we were young, he could smoke in my car but the minute I tried smoking in his car, he would refuse saying that his then fiancee would be sitting in the car soon and he does not want her to smell cigarette in his car. The same wife later cheated on him and took 65% of the profits from the sale of their house even though it was my friend who initiated the house purchase and put down the deposit and paid the bulk if not all of the monthly mortgage payments in the first place.

This marriage thing na scam 'cos how do you expect 2 adults with 2 different brains and 2 different thought processes to love themselves forever ?

luminouz:
Just to bust your bubble, domestic violence occurs abroad too but it's not talked about in newspapers.

True talk.

Domestic violence from both sexes plenty for UK and Yankee too o. Just check Google.

On another note, even the late Queen of England was left in tears regarding a disagreement she had with her Husband Prince Phillip in the early years of their marriage and it is said that the 10 year gap between 2 of their children was because Prince Phillip was still angry over the Queen’s rejection of his family surname.

As her husbands anger at her drove the Queen to tears, this worried the then Prime minister so much that the then Deputy Prime Minister and the Lord Chancellor were assigned the task of resolving the Queen’s ‘tricky’ family problem.

Men are wired with big egos regardless of whether you have royal blood or not (Prince Phillip also had royal blood as he was born Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark) but his grouse with the Queen (his wife) was her refusal to let their kids bear his own surname and the cold shoulder he gave the queen drove her to tears.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2069278/Queen-left-tears-Duke-Edinburghs-brutal-demand-name.html

Ilekokonit:


Many years ago in London, a friends wife cheated on him with another married man and my friend offered to forgive her but she told him point blank not to forgive her 'cos that will make her treat him like a footmat. She ended up forcing the sale of their house through the courts and the courts gave her 65% of the profits on sale as they had young kids.

My friend just pack commot for London go a different city and settled for a Jamaican woman although I heard that he lost one kidney (possibly due to drowning his sorrows with alcohol before meeting the Jamaican woman).

This na guy wey dey pamper him wife even before they got married to the point that when we were young, he could smoke in my car but the minute I tried smoking in his car, he would refuse saying that his then fiancee would be sitting in the car soon and he does not want her to smell cigarette in his car. The same wife later cheated on him and took 65% of the profits from the sale of their house even though it was my friend who initiated the house purchase and put down the deposit and paid the bulk if not all of the monthly mortgage payments in the first place.

This marriage thing na scam 'cos how do you expect 2 adults with 2 different brains and 2 different thought processes to love themselves forever ?

Very unfortunate.


The problem with going the marriageless path is that who’s gon raise your kids to be a responsible person in the society?


Caught at crossroads here

AmazingELixir:


If they shut up how then can one call it argument.

Asking a typical woman to shut up in an argument is like sentencing her to life in prison with no option of parole....kukuma kill the woman but you see that her tongue ehn....she must wag am oo na their nature .

One elderly man I met in a public transport today told me during an argument between a man with two women in thesame bus that ..." it is stupid to argue with a woman and shear madness to engage more than one woman in an argument because at the end of the day you will never win and what you'll get for you effort is insults.

That's excusing bad behavior.

toujurs:
They never learn, until blood starts rushing from their nose.

Then they come online to shed crocodile tears, and cry over domestic violence.

How in your common sense would you throw pushes, with someone who would beat you black blue.

Forgeting his older and stronger than you. You married someone older than you, to leeche on, and feel you both are on same level.

You must be mad.

Haa, so your wife should act dumb at home while you abuse and insult her verbally? They didn't get married to someone older than them because they want you to turn them into punching bag or ur junior ones you disciplined as you wish.

Nolevel666:


Very unfortunate.


The problem with going the marriageless path is that who’s gon raise your kids to be a responsible person in the society?


Caught at crossroads here

Baba I don't know where you live o but where I live in the UK, kids no really send their parents and your labour of love and sacrifice in doing everything for your wife and kids may end up in vain in a sick society where the man is at the bottom of the pecking order after children, women, cats and dogs.

To sacrifice all your youthful energy and resources for your wife and kids in a place like the UK is something many men have done and many more will still do because of our upbringing but more often than not, a lot of men get the short end of the stick because the wife in a lot of cases turns the children against their father and kick him out of the house and the kids lifes just because the UK Govt is financially generous to single mothers who then end up choosing the Govt money over their husband who they then see as a hindrance to them enjoying the financial largess from the family unfriendly UK Govt.

Its not by accident that the UK is the single parent capital of Europe.

So, Bros don't worry yourself unnecessarily about who will bring up your children beacause its not 100% in your hands like it was 40 years ago and with TikTok, and the rest of the cesspit called Social media, the genie has been let out of the bottle and you can only hope that your children remember their home training when faced with extreme peer pressure.

For example a 16 year old Gifted Sri Lankan boy, a straight "A" student who just interviewed with Cambridge University just committed suicide in the UK because a blackmailer who UK police think is from Nigeria was threatening to expose his nudes to all his contacts if he does not send him £100 ??

How could the parents have prevented his suicide in this situation So like I said a parents job in TODAY's world is to do your best and leave the rest for God when it comes to raising children.
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/whitgift-school-dinal-de-alwis-death-croydon-boy-blackmail-nude-photos-b1141448.html

In terms of marriage, I see it as a BIG punishment that is almost like a form of slavery for men especially those who live in Europe or America.

Marriage is now a case of fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Ilekokonit:


Baba I don't know where you live o but where I live in the UK, kids no really send their parents and your labour of love and sacrifice in doing everything for your wife and kids may end up in vain in a sick society where the man is at the bottom of the pecking order after children, women, cats and dogs.

To sacrifice all your youthful energy and resources for your wife and kids in a place like the UK is something many men have done and many more will still do because of our upbringing but more often than not, a lot of men get the short end of the stick because the wife in a lot of cases turns the children against their father and kick him out of the house and the kids lifes just because the UK Govt is financially generous to single mothers who then end up choosing the Govt money over their husband who they then see as a hindrance to them enjoying the financial largess from the family unfriendly UK Govt.

Its not by accident that the UK is the single parent capital of Europe.

So, Bros don't worry yourself unnecessarily about who will bring up your children beacause its not 100% in your hands like it was 40 years ago and with TikTok, and the rest of the cesspit called Social media, the genie has been let out of the bottle and you can only hope that your children remember their home training when faced with extreme peer pressure.

For example a 16 year old Gifted Sri Lankan boy, a straight "A" student who just interviewed with Cambridge University just committed suicide in the UK because a blackmailer who UK police think is from Nigeria was threatening to expose his nudes to all his contacts if he does not send him £100 ??

How could the parents have prevented his suicide in this situation So like I said a parents job in TODAY's world is to do your best and leave the rest for God when it comes to raising children.
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/whitgift-school-dinal-de-alwis-death-croydon-boy-blackmail-nude-photos-b1141448.html

In terms of marriage, I see it as a BIG punishment that is almost like a form of slavery for men especially those who live in Europe or America.

Marriage is now a case of fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Very profound.

The uncertainties of life are indeed infinite no matter how hard one tries to control the outcome of events.

Food for thought.

Beolly:
That's excusing bad behavior.

Having an argument — where two individuals equally voice their opinions on the issue of concern — is bad behavior?

wany:

Silly you, no gender has monopoly of violence.but rather both parties should respect one another and be matured in their dealing.

Respect and obey your man.

JessicaRabbit:


Well, I don't agree with this piece. For one, I find the idea of silencing yourself to avoid conflict to be deeply concerning. That can not be a healthy solution in any relationship.

Obey your husband.

GreatAchiever1:

Nigeria is in no way a patriarchal society. If we were, do you think women will be in political seats, if we were, do you think women will be able to vote during an election. If we were, do you think this political seat where this woman is occupying will even exist? My dear, you have no idea what a Patriarchal society looks like.

Nope. That's not how it works, buddy. A single example doesn't dismantle a systemic issue. The presence of women in some political spheres doesn't negate the reality of entrenched patriarchal norms deeply woven into the fabric of Nigerian society. It IS true that women hold some political positions, but you do realize that their overall representation in government remains significantly lower than men's? This is just a pointer to a broader trend in leadership positions across various sectors. There's also the fact that there are many societal norms in Nigeria which still emphasize traditional gender roles that confine women to primarily domestic duties, limiting their autonomy and opportunities for personal growth.

What do you even mean by abusive? Have you even considered what may lead to the "abuse", this is why it's important to keep quiet especially in context where the man is not in the right frame of mind at that moment. I thought women were the emotional one and have empathy. Of course, you can communicate how you feel, but you should do that with respect and a gentle and submissive attitude, with that he is more liable to listen attentive to what is bothering you.

Your definition of "abusive" seems rather opaque. Is it simply raising your voice, or does it encompass the entire spectrum of harmful behaviors? Oh, and the tired trope of "emotional women" versus "rational men" is as outdated as dial-up internet. Both genders experience emotions, and claiming women are inherently emotional simply perpetuates stereotypes that are not just harmful, but undermines your acclaimed "rationality" as a man. I also find it deeply concerning that you believe that women should be gentle and submissive to be heard. It reeks of patriarchal control, implying that women must shrink themselves and cater to a man's emotional state to be worthy of his attention. Suggesting silence in the face of potential abuse is not only dangerous but also shockingly dismissive of a woman's right to safety and respect.

Of course gender roles are fixed and predetermined, this is seen in the bible, historical America, as well as one's own culture. I never cease to stop saying this, MARRIAGE IS NOT PARTNERSHIP, I don't know where this nonsense came from. Marriage is a hierarchical union. If you can't stay under a man, please don't get married and stop spreading this partnership nonsense, marriage is not a business company.

It's funny how you just effortlessly whip up a cocktail of historical cherry-picking, religious dogma, and outdated social norms, shaken, not stirred, with a truckload of misinformation. For starters, any pragmatic individual who acknowledges the dynamism of history and human evolution, knows that gender roles are NOT fixed and predetermined. Throughout time, societal expectations regarding gender have constantly shifted. The roles depicted in the Bible or even historical America are not some universal blueprint, but rather products of their specific contexts. Suggesting they are permanently etched in stone is simply ignoring the evidence.

You are also having a fundamental misunderstanding here. A partnership is not a synonym for a business company. A healthy marriage is a partnership of equals, built on mutual respect, communication, and a shared vision for the future. This doesn't negate the importance of collaboration and compromise, but it does away with the outdated notion of domination and submission. Such sentiments are not only uncomfortably close to endorsing archaic and potentially harmful power dynamics, but they also ignore the diversity of healthy relationships. Every couple navigates power and decision-making differently, and reducing it to a simplistic notion of "staying under" someone is both reductive and offensive.

What usually makes "domestic violence" occurs if not disrespect from a wife to husband. The funny thing is that this domestic violence of a thing doesn't reduce, it increases daily. The more women keep seeing themselves equal to their husbands, the higher the possibility of the so called "domestic violence" and divorce.

This is quite frankly, a troubling and misinformed perspective on domestic violence. Like, are you taking the piss? Disrespect from a wife to a husband is the "usual cause" of domestic violence? If this isn't textbook victim-blaming, then please tell me what it is. As a rational person, I would have expected you to demonstrate your knowledge of the complex dynamics at play in occurrences of domestic violence. This paragraph in particular strikes me as illogical and insensitive. And I don't know where you got the information that women asserting their equality leads to an increase in domestic violence because the evidence clearly says otherwise. So your claims are factually inaccurate. There is nothing like "so-called domestic violence". Domestic violence IS domestic violence! Or are you trying to cast doubts on the very real experiences of victims and minimize the seriousness of this issue?

Why would you even dare to exchange words with your husband (this is due to the partnership idea of marriage). Can you exchange words with your boss at work? Can you even exchange words with your father at home. If no, how can you think even of exchanging words with your husband. When you emphasize on communication in marriage, it sounds as if the husband and wife don't talk at all. They just wake up, eat, pray, go out, come back, have sex together, sleep without communication and interactions as if they're programmed to do all these every day without saying a word to each other.

While I find this comparison irritating and totally ridiculous, I can understand that you are not the only one who thinks this way. Such thoughts have become part and parcel of the culture in this society. But for the record, drawing parallels to authority figures like bosses and fathers is a deeply flawed analogy. I've said this already, but marriage is NOT a hierarchical relationship where one partner holds absolute power or control over the other. You also seem to assume that communication inherently leads to conflict. Heated discussions are always bound to happen, but healthy communication also involves expressing appreciation, affection, and building a deeper understanding with your partner. It's the foundation for navigating challenges and fostering a strong, fulfilling bond. Effective communication allows for deeper connection, shared experiences, and the ability to navigate life's complexities together while maintaining individual autonomy. By suggesting silence or avoiding communication as a solution to prevent conflict, you're essentially placing the burden on the victim to modify their behavior to appease a potentially abusive partner. This is not only unrealistic but also dangerous, as it will only perpetuate a cycle of abuse and deny the victim the right to a healthy, communicative relationship.

When you mention love, I just knew you meant romantic love, you know from the ones seen in Hollywood media. Do you think those kind of euphoric emotion of love chemicals won't disappear with time. My dear, a man loves his wife if he can provide, protect, lead, and be a priest/prophet in his home, a woman likewise loves her husband if she can be gentle, help, be submissive, quiet and nurture the home as she builds it in accordance to the husbands leading.

Well, just to clear any doubts, I'm a liberal pragmatist at heart, and I believe that love is far more nuanced than the euphoric rush portrayed on screen. While those initial sparks are exciting, true love requires mutual respect, understanding, and growth. I will continue to insist that love is a partnership, not a power struggle. As for your definition of love based on prescribed gender roles, it will only get us stuck in a time warp. This notion of men solely providing and leading while women silently submit and nurture is antiquated and frankly, oppressive. In a healthy relationship, both partners contribute their unique strengths and personalities. They can be providers, protectors, nurturers, and leaders, regardless of gender. It's about collaboration, not conformity.

Ultimately, love without respect is an empty shell. It is simply not sustainable if one partner consistently disregards the other's feelings and attempts to dominate the relationship.