I promise to be very brief.
My wife and I live in a three bedroom flat without paying rent, although we only occupy one room since we don't have much property yet. The owner of the house abandoned the house before now and when we had accomodation issue asked us to stay there. We have been here since last year. However, there is no Geepee tank to supply water into the house. We could only pump water into our little drum when there is light. So I always go fetch water from the neighbouring compounds whenever there is no light which have resulted into several insults. My wife has been dragging me that I must buy a Geepee tank.

My salary as a private school teacher is barely enough to feed us talk more of saving to buy a Geepee tank especially in this economic crisis. In the midst of all these, my wife's phone went bad and needed a new one Just this afternoon, my wife started raining insults on me that I am not behaving like a man at all, that I should have settled down fully before thinking of marriage, that I want to make her go hungry. This was because I told her I would cut off some part of my salary to be saving so I can buy curtain for our room, television and save for Geepee tank. She even went ahead to say I am poor and wretched just because I can't afford her a new phone for now.

Since afternoon, I have refused to eat. My problem here is that my parents love my wife and my parents are far from where I reside. And I don't want to report my wife to my parents so it won't bring disrespect later to her in the future. Secondly, as the first born of my parent,I don't know how my parents will take it if I tell them I don't want to marry her again so they don't have b.p. I am really really confused. The little extra money I get from extra tutorial is what I do send to my two siblings in school even though is very little compare to their needs but at least it is something.

I feel like running away but to where? I truly love my wife but she is regretting marrying me. Please what can I do?

Wait?
she s not working?
seems like u married liability woman.
my wife bought her phone by herself. She dash me her 4ma phone. When she c i didnt fancy latest phone! U gat alot to do on her! U re not man enough. 4 ur wife to rainz insult on u. Despite my wife taking alot of responsibility at home. She nava once insult me b4!!

Why marry when you are not earning enough. Love is not enough to sustain a marriage in the long run. Private school teachers are being exploited at the moment and you will have to look for an alternative means to make extra money.

Do not report her to anyone, you guys are adults and should sort issues out yourself.

Romantic headache is what I see here until further notice. I don't use one-sided story to judge things.

I can't blame your wife here now because I don't know the hope you gave her when you asked for her hand in marriage. Maybe you promised her heaven and earth to make her say yes. Maybe you didn't make promises and didn't plan to marry now but you got her pregnant and had to quickly marry her. Until I hear from her or you tell us how the marriage started, I will not blame her.

I usually try to know how a marriage started before I try to settle a dispute in the marriage. If you don't know the cause of an illness, you can't excellently treat the illness. If you are not willing to explain how the marriage started, keep enduring until you have money to reduce the insult. I don't judge what I don't clearly understand.

Men always look before you leap.... She's not working yet she's making demands and not being considerate, you guys really need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk that's if she will listen, or you can report her to her parents to talk some sense into her, after that she should start looking for a job.... Hmmmmm, those with caps usually don't have head🥴

immortalcrown:
Romantic headache is what I see here.

Endure the insult.

why should he if I may ask? is that what he signed up for? Marriage is meant to be enjoyed not endured, if it was the other way round now, the whole world would have heard about it, men too deserves love and respect, even though I no dey pity them at times, cause na wetin fit some of them bedat..

Eddie2024:
why should he if I may ask? is that what he signed up for? Marriage is meant to be enjoyed not endured, if it was the other way round now, the whole world would have heard about it, men too deserves love and respect, even though I no dey pity them at times, cause na wetin fit some of them bedat..

Have you asked him how he got her engaged? Have you tried to know what he told her when he was proposing to her? Una dey use one-sided story judge things on social media.

immortalcrown:
Have you asked him how he got her engaged? Have you tried to know what he told her when proposing to her?

even at that, things change, make she too go find work...

Eddie2024:
even at that, things change, make she too go find work...

Hear from her first. You might be right, you might be wrong, hear her own side of the story first. It might even be that she was learning a skill before he used "premature" marriage to distract her. If he is innocent, let him tell us how the marriage started, then we will know where to blame the wife.

She must have known what he does for a living before marrying him, so because he's not a millionaire yet he shouldn't get married.... Or he should go and steal for her sake, instead make she go find wetin to do to use support her husband hmmmmm

immortalcrown:
Hear from her first. You might be right, you might be wrong, hear her own side of the story first.

ok.. unless he's not giving the full story sha... Me I don't support nonsense what is bad is bad, even if she's my sister I will tell her her wrongs... Ireoooo.

I commend your courage sir, to remain with that woman, talk more of being faithful or patient is really a herculean task.
Now to the main matter...
YOU WERE ACTUALLY POOR....(Passing Over Opportunities Repeatedly) in your past but this year EVERYTHING WILL TURN UP FOR YOU.

Do not blame her sir, blame yourself for not understanding the COMMITMENT DEMANDS of marriage before jumping into it.
I wouldn't want to go deep into how this our generation has EXALTED MARRIAGE beyond limits.... it feels like singleness is a disease yet the truly married ones do not publicize the HEAVY WORK involved.
Before marrying, read books, go to conferences and ask questions... you will discover THERE IS NO HONEY WITHOUT MONEY.

Now let me give my 50cent solutions/ideas (asides what other great minds in this forum will offer)

1) Move out of that house... send her to stay with your parents for a while and then you can go manage with a friend. THEN SUBLET THE 3 BEDROOM(you will get enough money for a tank and more)

2) buy more drums

3) buy 25k POS and give her to start work........ so she will know how hard it is to make money and begin to appreciate you

4) learn how to drive, then offer UBER SERVICES to people who own cars... YOU WILL BE DRIVING FOR THEM AND PAYING THEM 25K OR 30K WEEKLY WHILE THE REST IS YOURS. (this is more better than the meagre salary you earn)


5) Learn how to use the computer well and learn skills like DATA ANOTATION, DATA ANALYSIS and I can help you with a REMOTE JOB.

6) LEARN WEB DESIGN and GRAPHICS and inform people of your skills by word of mouth and you will get jobs/contracts

7) GO TO GOOGLE and type cysed jobs you can apply if you are in the selected states and get a higher paying job with more recognition.


I hope this helps you bro... keep pushing... you will own houses one day. Stay Inspired.

AkporsMechanical:
I promise to be very brief.
My wife and I live in a three bedroom flat without paying rent, although we only occupy one room since we don't have much property yet. The owner of the house abandoned the house before now and when we had accomodation issue asked us to stay there. We have been here since last year. However, there is no Geepee tank to supply water into the house. We could only pump water into our little drum when there is light. So I always go fetch water from the neighbouring compounds whenever there is no light which have resulted into several insults. My wife has been dragging me that I must buy a Geepee tank.

My salary as a private school teacher is barely enough to feed us talk more of saving to buy a Geepee tank especially in this economic crisis. In the midst of all these, my wife's phone went bad and needed a new one Just this afternoon, my wife started raining insults on me that I am not behaving like a man at all, that I should have settled down fully before thinking of marriage, that I want to make her go hungry. This was because I told her I would cut off some part of my salary to be saving so I can buy curtain for our room, television and save for Geepee tank. She even went ahead to say I am poor and wretched just because I can't afford her a new phone for now.

Since afternoon, I have refused to eat. My problem here is that my parents love my wife and my parents are far from where I reside. And I don't want to report my wife to my parents so it won't bring disrespect later to her in the future. Secondly, as the first born of my parent,I don't know how my parents will take it if I tell them I don't want to marry her again so they don't have b.p. I am really really confused. The little extra money I get from extra tutorial is what I do send to my two siblings in school even though is very little compare to their needs but at least it is something.

I feel like running away but to where? I truly love my wife but she is regretting marrying me. Please what can I do?

Why are people concerned whether the wife is working or not, op knew she was working before he married her, maybe he needed a fulltime housewife that he can control.

It seems like she expects you to do everything while she contributes nothing. Is she working? Is she willing to work?

It may seem like an insult, and very insensitive for her to say it out loud, but she didn’t tell no lies. You are in fact financially challenged, and you took on a responsibility that you can’t afford.

After accepting your reality and not being offended by the truth, you can stand up to your wife and tell her to get on board or get lost.

Make it clear that you won’t tolerate her behaviour and that you will send her back to her people if she continues to make things difficult.

If she has any qualifications then find her work within your school. If she can’t contribute then she should not stress you out.

Don’t worry about what people say or think. Please! Use contraception before you bring children into this mess.

Dear OP, you married her to make your parents happy. You saw she has no income and you're a firstborn, in what way was she going to fulfill her mandate as your help meet if you were to go by the Proverbs 31 woman?
Getting married on a low income is your greatest undoing. She needs to get a job and I'm wondering if she truly loves you and not knowing that you need her support in this trying times.
Who marries a woman without a source of income when he's not well to do?

I am actually in deep sorrow typing this. I never knew I could ever stoop so low to this. The only hope I rely on this week is shattered. I learned my lesson the hard way. I beg you guys with everything you cherish. Pls bless me with any amount. Hunger is about to finish me. I beg you in the name of God

1.2.2.3.1.1.4.9.5.8 access bank Lawal Abdulkadir . God bless you!

Send her packing to her father's house


If you don't , you just proved you're a simp and a cuck

The bitter truth is, you messed up big time. Why succumb to external pressure by getting married when U ought to hustling?
Marriage no be child's play.

You no get TV and her phone don spoil...she will make life hell for you

AkporsMechanical:
∆ My salary as a private school teacher is barely enough to feed us talk more of saving to buy a Geepee tank especially in this economic crisis. In the midst of all these, my wife's phone went bad and needed a new one Just this afternoon, my wife started raining insults on me that I am not behaving like a man at all, that I should have settled down fully before thinking of marriage, that I want to make her go hungry. This was because I told her I would cut off some part of my salary to be saving so I can buy curtain for our room, television and save for Geepee tank. She even went ahead to say I am poor and wretched just because I can't afford her a new phone for now.
Since afternoon, I have refused to eat. My problem here is that my parents love my wife and my parents are far from where I reside. And I don't want to report my wife to my parents so it won't bring disrespect later to her in the future. Secondly, as the first born of my parent,I don't know how my parents will take it if I tell them I don't want to marry her again so they don't have b.p. I am really really confused. The little extra money I get from extra tutorial is what I do send to my two siblings in school even though is very little compare to their needs but at least it is something.
I feel like running away but to where? I truly love my wife but she is regretting marrying me. Please what can I do?

Upon say una no dey pay any rent, to feed dey hard una for where una dey. Why in the world did you get married in that condition to begin with? The wife no dey work too, is that the case? And please do not tell us that you stuffed kids inside that one toom for Pete's sake.

Oga don't buy any curtain, use bed sheet for now, and don't buy any tank, keep fetching water... Now use whatever money you can save to invest in learning a modern skill that is computer and tech related... That teaching job is a self appointed limit on your potential, remember that your identity dictated your life... A gate man and his oga are not different if not for their mindset and it's limits

I was in your shoes and for 10 years I was constantly being reminded of my shortcomings as the head of the family but I kept going back to John the Baptist and Jesus, they had to go through the wilderness... You are in the wilderness but you have to have a plan that will turn out in your favour in the end. Invest in knowledge, computer-based knowledge, your wife is doing exactly what she is supposed to do... You will have to take the pain and use it to propel yourself... Remember, computer related modern wealth generation skill. Let the pain COUNT!

blackpanthar:

Move out of that house... send her to stay with your parents for a while and then you can go manage with a friend. THEN SUBLET THE 3 BEDROOM(you will get enough money for a tank and more)

Sublet someone else's house?

blackpanthar:
THEN SUBLET THE 3 BEDROOM(you will get enough money for a tank and more)

He should sublet a house that is neither his nor rented by him? Didn't you read that he is staying rent-free in the apartment?

immortalcrown:
Romantic headache is what I see here until further notice.

I can't blame your wife because I don't know the hope you gave her when you asked for her hand in marriage. Maybe you promised her heaven and earth to make her say yes. Maybe you didn't make promises and didn't plan to marry now but you got her pregnant and had to quickly marry her. Until I hear from her or you tell us how the marriage started, I will not blame her.

I usually try to know how a marriage started before I try to settle a dispute in the marriage. If you don't know the cause of an illness, you can't excellently treat the illness. Endure the insult. Keep enduring until you have money to reduce the insult.

I couldn't agree more with you. Some men are not straightforward and realistic. You create false hope for a woman just to get her to marry you and then when reality dawns you begin to act like she doesn't love you. I had a friend who was always booking flight for his girlfriend then just to prove a point to her. This is someone i was earning more than. If you take away flight ticket, whats left would not really make impact. Borrowed money to organize wedding and all that. The the begining of problem because the woman will surely expect more when she gets into his house. What are you impressing a woman for?

@OP
How can you get married without basic properties in a house not even a house you rented. You guys need to separate for sometime so you can get on your feet. Please don't risk it to get your wife pregnant. Use preventive measures during sex

Your marriage is giving you pain? The fact that you got married with no single property (not even curtains) is not giving you pain??

What were you trying to build? The basic thing for a marriage is an apartment and you never had one in your name.

Two available options here:

1. You guys need to separate for a while. You're clearly not ready for marriage. You're not even qualified to be a "bachelor" yet. You're still in your early phase, so if I were you, I will return to my parents home and build my savings. I'm not posting this to hurt your feelings. But that's the truth; a truth I would personally embrace.

2. Hang on and continue hoping for a breakthrough. This is the version you'll most likely hear across different religious setting, but have it in mind that 90% of the people who relied on hope ended up with generational poverty. Like the US lottery, nothing is guaranteed.

Tell her to get lost.

AkporsMechanical:
I promise to be very brief.
My wife and I live in a three bedroom flat without paying rent, although we only occupy one room since we don't have much property yet. The owner of the house abandoned the house before now and when we had accomodation issue asked us to stay there. We have been here since last year. However, there is no Geepee tank to supply water into the house. We could only pump water into our little drum when there is light. So I always go fetch water from the neighbouring compounds whenever there is no light which have resulted into several insults. My wife has been dragging me that I must buy a Geepee tank.

My salary as a private school teacher is barely enough to feed us talk more of saving to buy a Geepee tank especially in this economic crisis. In the midst of all these, my wife's phone went bad and needed a new one Just this afternoon, my wife started raining insults on me that I am not behaving like a man at all, that I should have settled down fully before thinking of marriage, that I want to make her go hungry. This was because I told her I would cut off some part of my salary to be saving so I can buy curtain for our room, television and save for Geepee tank. She even went ahead to say I am poor and wretched just because I can't afford her a new phone for now.

Since afternoon, I have refused to eat. My problem here is that my parents love my wife and my parents are far from where I reside. And I don't want to report my wife to my parents so it won't bring disrespect later to her in the future. Secondly, as the first born of my parent,I don't know how my parents will take it if I tell them I don't want to marry her again so they don't have b.p. I am really really confused. The little extra money I get from extra tutorial is what I do send to my two siblings in school even though is very little compare to their needs but at least it is something.

I feel like running away but to where? I truly love my wife but she is regretting marrying me. Please what can I do?

Do something about your financial IQ. From what you wrote, this is the cause of your problem.

No born pass 2 abeg.

Unless you want shege Promax.

Your parents born plenty children and the money you suppose use dey take care of your wife na him you dey send to your siblings.

Your wife must complain. No TV, no money, no GP tank, and you say make she nor complain.

Remember sir, no born plenty children unless na Promax shege you seek.

May God help you. No condition is permanent.

You need to man up and do what is right for yourself. Nobody is going to save you. Take action now!

muyico:
Wait?
she s not working?
seems like u married liability woman.
my wife bought her phone by herself. She dash me her 4ma phone. When she c i didnt fancy latest phone! U gat alot to do on her! U re not man enough. 4 ur wife to rainz insult on u. Despite my wife taking alot of responsibility at home. She nava once insult me b4!!

I have discovered that only poor women broke shame men, they can't give themselves what they expect others to give them. Greed, entitlement and selfishness at peak.

Lessons for men, always roll with a woman that has the mindset to build with you, you are not angel or a God that will carry someone's liability 100 percent. Always look for asset, it will help ease the pain when the time comes.
OP show her prov 31 so she can read.