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Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by wany(f): 7:42pm On Mar 06
Ladoja19:
Can't you see he is short of words when he got to Husband turn
Coz he knows husband is not just A man but Crown
I'm hungry oo
Thunder fire Tinubu's
Which crown , on which head some of you are truly delusional.she is an adult let her listen to herself first then her God.

2 Likes

Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by cococandy(f): 7:44pm On Mar 06
Acidosis:
It's simple. Do not collect bride price from a man you're not ready to submit to.

You can't eat from the devil and escape repercussions. No sensible man would restrain you from meeting your family. If that conversation ever comes up, then his reasons are probably valid .

No it’s not

1 Like

Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by Anashe: 7:45pm On Mar 06
MVLOX:


For a woman to be a “glory” to her husband requires her to show proper regard for his headship. Even when her husband is not a faithful worshiper of Jehovah, she should remain submissive and support his decisions as the head of the house. She ought to maintain praiseworthy conduct and prove herself to be a real credit to her husband. This is in harmony with the counsel given by the apostle Peter: “You wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, in order that, if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives, because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct together with deep respect. . . . [Let your adornment] be the secret person of the heart in the incorruptible apparel of the quiet and mild spirit, which is of great value in the eyes of God.”​—1 Pet. 3:1-4.

In her submission, the Christian woman should display a “quiet and mild spirit.” This means that, regardless of the circumstances, her dominant feeling should be one of calmness and an even temper, not aggressive. Her heart should move her to manifest proper subjection to her husbandly head. This was the case with Abraham’s wife Sarah. As Peter noted: “So, too, formerly the holy women who were hoping in God used to adorn themselves, subjecting themselves to their own husbands, as Sarah used to obey Abraham, calling him ‘lord.”’ (1 Pet. 3:5, 6) Sarah referred to her husband as “lord” not merely audibly for others to hear, but even “inside herself.”​—Gen. 18:12.

For a Christian woman to be like Sarah would, of course, mean never doing anything contrary to God’s will. This is because she is bound by the superior law of God and of Christ. Hence when her husband’s “law” interferes with true worship, she, like the apostles in the first century C.E., would ‘obey God as ruler rather than a man.’ (Acts 5:29) In all other areas, however, her submission to her husband should be exemplary.

I hope you get the point which is so long whatever the husband directs in not against God's own standards and laws the woman must be submissive and obey it

Here comes religious manipulation. The same way Esther is glorified over Vashti because she refused to be ridiculed by a drunk king and his guests? And Esther a child, a teenager that was prepped for a whole year for a paedophile king? A woman is the "glory" to a husband that is fully submitted to God. Not a husband masquerading as the weapon fashioned against her. Sarah called Abraham "Lord" for nothing? How many of the men on earth are like Abraham? This delusion needs to stop.
At the end of the day, you people assume a woman's life begins and ends with a title or an institution. LMFAO. I am patiently waiting for what the Bible says about husbands

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by cococandy(f): 7:47pm On Mar 06
People create and contribute to threads like this with one side of their mouth and from another side of their mouth on another day they’ll start arguing with you about the place of women in Nigerian society 🙄🙄🙄

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by KrisUc(m): 7:49pm On Mar 06
Jeon:
Why will a normal man deny a woman to go see her family?.
Some Women dy marry shéha !.

Nah woman of before go obey, even if there's no valid reason for denying her to see her blood family. But now try it on most women.
you're digressing, frivolities won't let you have a right sense of judgement. Just pick an answer from the options, simple. All these GenZs
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by wany(f): 7:50pm On Mar 06
MVLOX:


For a woman to be a “glory” to her husband requires her to show proper regard for his headship. Even when her husband is not a faithful worshiper of Jehovah, she should remain submissive and support his decisions as the head of the house. She ought to maintain praiseworthy conduct and prove herself to be a real credit to her husband. This is in harmony with the counsel given by the apostle Peter: “You wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, in order that, if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives, because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct together with deep respect. . . . [Let your adornment] be the secret person of the heart in the incorruptible apparel of the quiet and mild spirit, which is of great value in the eyes of God.”​—1 Pet. 3:1-4.

In her submission, the Christian woman should display a “quiet and mild spirit.” This means that, regardless of the circumstances, her dominant feeling should be one of calmness and an even temper, not aggressive. Her heart should move her to manifest proper subjection to her husbandly head. This was the case with Abraham’s wife Sarah. As Peter noted: “So, too, formerly the holy women who were hoping in God used to adorn themselves, subjecting themselves to their own husbands, as Sarah used to obey Abraham, calling him ‘lord.”’ (1 Pet. 3:5, 6) Sarah referred to her husband as “lord” not merely audibly for others to hear, but even “inside herself.”​—Gen. 18:12.

For a Christian woman to be like Sarah would, of course, mean never doing anything contrary to God’s will. This is because she is bound by the superior law of God and of Christ. Hence when her husband’s “law” interferes with true worship, she, like the apostles in the first century C.E., would ‘obey God as ruler rather than a man.’ (Acts 5:29) In all other areas, however, her submission to her husband should be exemplary.

I hope you get the point which is so long whatever the husband directs in not against God's own standards and laws the woman must be submissive and obey it
All this epistles just to control a woman an adult,African men truly ve a long way to go. Thank God most women are liberating themselves. undecided

3 Likes

Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by LilMissFavvy(f): 7:52pm On Mar 06
The new generation women are wiser. One of them his wife returned his bride price because she refused to turn to his slave, yet he is ranting on-line, he is bitter that the 22yrs old girl refused to become his footmat. Huhhh.
Anashe:


Don't mind them. Nonsense. It's only in Nigeria that being a wife translates to being a slave. The husband himself is alpha and omega, so he doesn't need to listen to anyone.

4 Likes

Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by Femmyfamous4u(m): 7:53pm On Mar 06
pek:
I replied you. But you failed to answer me

The order on who to listen to has bee listed. The husband should take priority while she uses her head too.
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by SPAMBOX7: 7:54pm On Mar 06
stevestifler:
A woman wanted to travel & to see her sibling who invited her because they'd not seen in more than a year & her husband says no. She involves her parents & pastor & even her best friend, they all have different opinions. Some said go, some said stay.

As a married woman, whose words should be taken in highest regards?

1. Her siblings that she's spent all her life with
2. Her parents that gave birth to her
3. Her pastor that sees visions & guides her spiritually
4. Her husband that she's going to spend the rest of her life with
5. Her best friends that she's known from childhood

Let's have matured responses from experienced and responsible nairalanders.
The fact you didn't add @embolden like you did the other options says alot already.
I have no comments
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by cococandy(f): 7:54pm On Mar 06
Thank you
Puss360:
Lol... She is a woman not a property...
Going to visit her siblings doesn't need "Approval" from her husband... She only needs to let him be aware .. If the husband doesn't want her to go "That period", then he needs to come up with very valid reasons...
But he can't ban her from seeing her family...

The opinion of rest on that list is irrelevant
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by We4all: 7:58pm On Mar 06
Trimjos:


My mother sells her body to the highest bidder, reason my father impregnated her to give birth to me and my stupid brothers. Unfortunately for the society, my father and mother's blood runs in me and my brothers veins. This is why we don't have sense.

I keep wishing that I had a rich father with sense. What a wishful thinking!


No wonder.
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by Acidosis(m): 8:11pm On Mar 06
cococandy:


No it’s not

Well, the validity of the reason can be contested, but I expect a sensible man to do and know what's right..

Imagine a pregnant woman in her 37 weeks insisting she must travel by road to see her family in a faraway town in today's Nigeria? If you were the man, would you let her embark on that mission?

Going to see one's family seems like a right or moral adventure, but certain conditions may not permit that.

1 Like

Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by Fulgur: 8:14pm On Mar 06
Jeon:
Why will a normal man deny a woman to go see her family?.
Some Women dy marry shéha !.

Nah woman of before go obey, even if there's no valid reason for denying her to see her blood family. But now try it on most women.

No be today you no get sense.
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by MVLOX(m): 8:17pm On Mar 06
wany:

All this epistles just to control a woman an adult,African men truly ve a long way to go. Thank God most women are liberating themselves. undecided

The issue is, between her husband, pastor, friend, God and family who she should listen to..... In other words who Should be in control as far as this matter is concerned...... Someone has to be in control.. prove your point ..
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by MVLOX(m): 8:18pm On Mar 06
Anashe:


Here comes religious manipulation. The same way Esther is glorified over Vashti because she refused to be ridiculed by a drunk king and his guests? And Esther a child, a teenager that was prepped for a whole year for a paedophile king? A woman is the "glory" to a husband that is fully submitted to God. Not a husband masquerading as the weapon fashioned against her. Sarah called Abraham "Lord" for nothing? How many of the men on earth are like Abraham? This delusion needs to stop.
At the end of the day, you people assume a woman's life begins and ends with a title or an institution. LMFAO. I am patiently waiting for what the Bible says about husbands

The issue is, between her husband, pastor, friend, God and family who she should listen to..... In other words who Should be in control as far as this matter is concerned...... Someone has to be in control.. prove your point ..


As for the husbands they are under the headship of Jesus Christ
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by Wisfem: 8:22pm On Mar 06
blackpanthar:



EVERYONE ON THAT LIST HANDED HER OVER TO THE HUSBAND ON THE WEDDING DAY.......... so it is over. Her choices should be based on HERSELF and HER HUSBAND. Simple.

Visions can always be cancelled.



Useless... You did not mention the rightful person everyone woman should Liston to in your list, when it comes to her own Existence as humans..
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by Wisfem: 8:22pm On Mar 06
Wisfem:




Useless... You did not mention the rightful person everyone woman should Liston to in your list, when it comes to her own Existence as human.
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by Acidosis(m): 8:26pm On Mar 06
maasoap:


Are you married? If yes, I have nothing to add. If no, I will say you should come back when you are married

Add wetin you wan add, boss.

Like I mentioned: "if that conversation ever....," meaning there are instances where you advise (not ban) her to stay back or postpone her visit due to 1, 2...3 reasons.

Am I married? Yes.

Ever had this situation in my home? Oh, yes. Even my personal travel plan, we've had to cancel it together at some point because I don't have money for ransom. cheesy It's a non-issue, where there is peace and understanding.

1 Like

Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by StJasper(m): 8:27pm On Mar 06
stevestifler:
A woman wanted to travel & to see her sibling who invited her because they'd not seen in more than a year & her husband says no. She involves her parents & pastor & even her best friend, they all have different opinions. Some said go, some said stay.

As a married woman, whose words should be taken in highest regards?

1. Her siblings that she's spent all her life with
2. Her parents that gave birth to her
3. Her pastor that sees visions & guides her spiritually
4. Her husband
5. Her best friends that she's known from childhood

Let's have matured responses from experienced and responsible nairalanders.

If there is no crisis in her marriage, then she MUST listen to her husband.

Parents are living their own lives after they gave her out to her husband.

Siblings are living their own lives in their marriages.

Pastor or prophet with a true calling will not expect a married woman to disobey her husband and obey him/her.

Friends will choose their own husbands above you anytime.

1 Like

Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by Greenfusion: 8:29pm On Mar 06
MVLOX:


For a woman to be a “glory” to her husband requires her to show proper regard for his headship. Even when her husband is not a faithful worshiper of Jehovah, she should remain submissive and support his decisions as the head of the house. She ought to maintain praiseworthy conduct and prove herself to be a real credit to her husband. This is in harmony with the counsel given by the apostle Peter: “You wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, in order that, if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives, because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct together with deep respect. . . . [Let your adornment] be the secret person of the heart in the incorruptible apparel of the quiet and mild spirit, which is of great value in the eyes of God.”​—1 Pet. 3:1-4.

In her submission, the Christian woman should display a “quiet and mild spirit.” This means that, regardless of the circumstances, her dominant feeling should be one of calmness and an even temper, not aggressive. Her heart should move her to manifest proper subjection to her husbandly head. This was the case with Abraham’s wife Sarah. As Peter noted: “So, too, formerly the holy women who were hoping in God used to adorn themselves, subjecting themselves to their own husbands, as Sarah used to obey Abraham, calling him ‘lord.”’ (1 Pet. 3:5, 6) Sarah referred to her husband as “lord” not merely audibly for others to hear, but even “inside herself.”​—Gen. 18:12.

For a Christian woman to be like Sarah would, of course, mean never doing anything contrary to God’s will. This is because she is bound by the superior law of God and of Christ. Hence when her husband’s “law” interferes with true worship, she, like the apostles in the first century C.E., would ‘obey God as ruler rather than a man.’ (Acts 5:29) In all other areas, however, her submission to her husband should be exemplary.

I hope you get the point which is so long whatever the husband directs in not against God's own standards and laws the woman must be submissive and obey it
I get you, but if she is been stopped by her husband from seeing her parents,(assuming a sick parent) how do u think she should respond or react?
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by Anashe: 8:33pm On Mar 06
MVLOX:


The issue is, between her husband, pastor, friend, God and family who she should listen to..... In other words who Should be in control as far as this matter is concerned...... Someone has to be in control.. prove your point ..


As for the husbands they are under the headship of Jesus Christ


No, I am not just trying to prove a point. I am simply saying that it is manipulation when you speak a half truth. You also haven't answered my question. I want the verses from the Bible like you quoted for wives about husbands. And while you're at it, I'll like to know whether the horrible comments from men on this topic and platform are from men who are under the headship of Jesus Christ, because the majority of them will tell you they're Christians. Thank you very kindly.
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by cococandy(f): 8:39pm On Mar 06
Hmm
Acidosis:


Well, the validity of the reason can be contested, but I expect a sensible man to do and know what's right..

Imagine a pregnant woman in her 37 weeks insisting she must travel by road to see her family in a faraway town in today's Nigeria? If you were the man, would you let her embark on that mission?

Going to see one's family seems like a right or moral adventure, but certain conditions may not permit that.
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by haphizz57(m): 8:41pm On Mar 06
Husband first b4 odas follow. E get one new couple wey be my neibour some yrs bck. B4 d husby talk one, wife don talk 3 or more. Fast forward to wen dey gave birth to dia first born. On d naming day wen dia pastor arrive, i dey very surprise wen d wife use her both knee to kneel down for dia pastor. Wen i neva see her bow for her husby b4 even for once.
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by Acidosis(m): 8:43pm On Mar 06
Fiscus105:
Husband -parent-siblings-pastor/imam-friends.

Meanwhile, i think the woman just want to cause problem where thr is none in this scenario..

I think, she is calling the people she wants to visit, while want to visit at all cost, even to the level that so many people have been given her toxic advise, perhaps she has ulterior motive.

Remove pastor or imam completely from the list.

For a Christian, it is:

God - Husband - Parents - Siblings/Friends, Etc.

The husband is the spiritual head of the family, not any pastor or imam.

God comes first. Any advice or suggestion from your husband that contradicts God's position cannot be obeyed. E.g., a man instructing his wife to disrespect or abandon her parents is on his own.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by purples25(f): 8:45pm On Mar 06
This talk is crazy. Like a woman does not have brains or rights again after marriage. Has a woman that got married become a child, that she must have her decisions all made for her, her life all lived for her by the man?

Does this mean that marriage is an automatic dumping of the woman's rights and identity after marriage?

She's a partner to her man, good and fine. But she should still reserve the right to take the decisions she wants.

2 Likes

Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by Acidosis(m): 8:51pm On Mar 06
cococandy:
Hmm

Hmm

Oya, come talk your mind. 😋
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by Anashe: 8:56pm On Mar 06
stevestifler:
A woman wanted to travel & to see her sibling who invited her because they'd not seen in more than a year & her husband says no
She involves her parents & pastor & even her best friend, they all have different opinions. Some said go, some said stay.

As a married woman, whose words should be taken in highest regards?

1. Her siblings that she's spent all her life with
2. Her parents that gave birth to her
3. Her pastor that sees visions & guides her spiritually
4. Her husband
5. Her best friends that she's known from childhood

Let's have matured responses from experienced and responsible nairalanders.

By the way, any partner, male or female that seeks to isolate you from your family will soon kill you.

2 Likes

Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by deking05eze(m): 8:57pm On Mar 06
stevestifler:
A woman wanted to travel & to see her sibling who invited her because they'd not seen in more than a year & her husband says no. She involves her parents & pastor & even her best friend, they all have different opinions. Some said go, some said stay.

As a married woman, whose words should be taken in highest regards?

1. Her siblings that she's spent all her life with
2. Her parents that gave birth to her
3. Her pastor that sees visions & guides her spiritually
4. Her husband
5. Her best friends that she's known from childhood

Let's have matured responses from experienced and responsible nairalanders.
and who who told you that she spent all her life with her siblings,do you know the reason behind her husband not letting her go see her siblings at point? For the fact that she invited 3rd,4th and 5th parties into their marriage, she's not loyal to their marriage vows at all.....

1 Like

Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by MVLOX(m): 9:10pm On Mar 06
Anashe:



No, I am not just trying to prove a point. I am simply saying that it is manipulation when you speak a half truth. You also haven't answered my question. I want the verses from the Bible like you quoted for wives about husbands. And while you're at it, I'll like to know whether the horrible comments from men on this topic and platform are from men who are under the headship of Jesus Christ, because the majority of them will tell you they're Christians. Thank you very kindly.

RESPECT is not gained by merely ordering someone to respect you. You must earn respect by how you speak and act and by what you are.

This is illustrated in the case of Christ Jesus. He gained respect as a teacher by his manner of teaching. After his Sermon on the Mount “the effect was that the crowds were astounded at his way of teaching.” What earned him this respect? His relying on God’s word the Bible instead of the opinions of other men. His sole authority was Jehovah God and His word of truth. Jesus gained respect from both friend and foe, by earning it.—Matthew 7:28, 29; 15:1-9; John 7:32, 45, 46.

“The wife should have deep respect for her husband,” is the instruction given at Ephesians 5:33. But the husband should be diligent to merit this respect; otherwise, it will be very difficult for his wife to comply with this instruction. How can a husband fulfill his role as outlined in the Bible so as to gain such respect?

The Bible assigns the husband to a position of headship in the marriage arrangement, saying: “Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, because a husband is head of his wife as the Christ also is head of the congregation, he being a savior of this body. In fact, as the congregation is in subjection to the Christ, so let wives also be to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:22-24) Will this arrangement really contribute to happiness in the household? Some women speak out against what they describe as male chauvinism, that is, a vainglorious or exaggerated view that some men have toward their position in relation to women. But let us say at the outset that the teachings of the Bible do not endorse such male chauvinism.

The Bible emphasizes the fact that, not only the woman, but also the man is under headship. Turning to the Bible book of 1 Corinthians, chapter 11, verse 3, we find that the apostle Paul wrote these words to the congregation at Corinth: “I want you to know that the head of every man is the Christ; in turn the head of a woman is the man; in turn the head of the Christ is God.” Man has Christ as his head, and it is from God and Christ as examples and teachers that you, the husband, are to learn how headship is to be exercised.

Jehovah’s headship over Christ was exercised in loving-kindness, and Christ’s response was, “To do your will, O my God, I have delighted.” (Psalm 40:8; Hebrews 10:7) Jesus Christ’s headship, too, is loving. To those who would become his disciples he said: “I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and you will find refreshment for your souls.” (Matthew 11:29) Those who are members of his congregation, which the Scriptures liken to a bride, have indeed found such refreshment under his headship. He has not exploited them, but has been self-sacrificing in his love. This also is the kind of headship the husband is to exercise over his wife: “Husbands, continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it . . . In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, as the Christ also does the congregation . . . let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.” (Ephesians 5:25-29, 33) If you set the example of submission to the headship of Christ, it will not be a difficult thing—in fact, it can be a pleasure—for your wife to have deep respect for your headship as her husband.

The great problem is that due to imperfection and inborn selfishness there are times when a husband, while wanting to be respected as the head of the family, fails to show the needed love and consideration for his wife. Often a wife will say that she doesn’t feel loved by her husband, that his only concern is his own pleasure and satisfaction. Also, some wives complain that their husbands are domineering. Perhaps this has resulted from the wife’s attempts to usurp his headship, with his resisting such usurpation. Or, the man may have grown up in an environment where many husbands are arrogant and domineering. Regardless of the cause, such abuse of headship gains the respect of no one.

On the other hand, instead of abusing headship, some husbands abdicate it. They pass all the decision-making over to their wives. Or, while telling the wife ‘not to rush them,’ they procrastinate so much that family interests suffer. They may not be lazy or idle physically, but if they shy away from mental effort the results can be the same as those described in Proverbs 24:33, 34: “‘A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest,’ and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.“—Revised Standard Version.

You will gain respect from your wife if you show yourself steady and strong and able to make decisions. But that does not mean that no one else in the household is to be consulted or that your wife’s opinion is not to be given serious consideration just because it does not happen to agree with yours. Early in the Bible record we read about a serious problem in the household of Abraham and Sarah, involving their son Isaac and the son of their servant girl Hagar. Sarah recommended a solution that did not coincide with Abraham’s feelings on the matter. But God told Abraham: “Listen to her voice.”—Genesis 21:9-12.

We are not to conclude from this that a husband should always accede to his wife’s wishes. But it can be beneficial to discuss with her those decisions that affect the family, encouraging her to express her thoughts and feelings freely. Keep open the lines of communication, always be approachable, and weigh carefully her preferences in the decisions you make. Never be bossy or tyrannical in exercising headship, but manifest humility. You are not perfect, you will make mistakes, and when you do, you will want your wife’s understanding. When those situations arise, the wife whose husband is humble will find it easier to respect his headship than will one whose mate is proud.
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by MVLOX(m): 9:11pm On Mar 06
Greenfusion:

I get you, but if she is been stopped by her husband from seeing her parents,(assuming a sick parent) how do u think she should respond or react?

RESPECT is not gained by merely ordering someone to respect you. You must earn respect by how you speak and act and by what you are.

This is illustrated in the case of Christ Jesus. He gained respect as a teacher by his manner of teaching. After his Sermon on the Mount “the effect was that the crowds were astounded at his way of teaching.” What earned him this respect? His relying on God’s word the Bible instead of the opinions of other men. His sole authority was Jehovah God and His word of truth. Jesus gained respect from both friend and foe, by earning it.—Matthew 7:28, 29; 15:1-9; John 7:32, 45, 46.

“The wife should have deep respect for her husband,” is the instruction given at Ephesians 5:33. But the husband should be diligent to merit this respect; otherwise, it will be very difficult for his wife to comply with this instruction. How can a husband fulfill his role as outlined in the Bible so as to gain such respect?

The Bible assigns the husband to a position of headship in the marriage arrangement, saying: “Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, because a husband is head of his wife as the Christ also is head of the congregation, he being a savior of this body. In fact, as the congregation is in subjection to the Christ, so let wives also be to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:22-24) Will this arrangement really contribute to happiness in the household? Some women speak out against what they describe as male chauvinism, that is, a vainglorious or exaggerated view that some men have toward their position in relation to women. But let us say at the outset that the teachings of the Bible do not endorse such male chauvinism.

The Bible emphasizes the fact that, not only the woman, but also the man is under headship. Turning to the Bible book of 1 Corinthians, chapter 11, verse 3, we find that the apostle Paul wrote these words to the congregation at Corinth: “I want you to know that the head of every man is the Christ; in turn the head of a woman is the man; in turn the head of the Christ is God.” Man has Christ as his head, and it is from God and Christ as examples and teachers that you, the husband, are to learn how headship is to be exercised.

Jehovah’s headship over Christ was exercised in loving-kindness, and Christ’s response was, “To do your will, O my God, I have delighted.” (Psalm 40:8; Hebrews 10:7) Jesus Christ’s headship, too, is loving. To those who would become his disciples he said: “I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and you will find refreshment for your souls.” (Matthew 11:29) Those who are members of his congregation, which the Scriptures liken to a bride, have indeed found such refreshment under his headship. He has not exploited them, but has been self-sacrificing in his love. This also is the kind of headship the husband is to exercise over his wife: “Husbands, continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it . . . In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, as the Christ also does the congregation . . . let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.” (Ephesians 5:25-29, 33) If you set the example of submission to the headship of Christ, it will not be a difficult thing—in fact, it can be a pleasure—for your wife to have deep respect for your headship as her husband.

The great problem is that due to imperfection and inborn selfishness there are times when a husband, while wanting to be respected as the head of the family, fails to show the needed love and consideration for his wife. Often a wife will say that she doesn’t feel loved by her husband, that his only concern is his own pleasure and satisfaction. Also, some wives complain that their husbands are domineering. Perhaps this has resulted from the wife’s attempts to usurp his headship, with his resisting such usurpation. Or, the man may have grown up in an environment where many husbands are arrogant and domineering. Regardless of the cause, such abuse of headship gains the respect of no one.

On the other hand, instead of abusing headship, some husbands abdicate it. They pass all the decision-making over to their wives. Or, while telling the wife ‘not to rush them,’ they procrastinate so much that family interests suffer. They may not be lazy or idle physically, but if they shy away from mental effort the results can be the same as those described in Proverbs 24:33, 34: “‘A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest,’ and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.“—Revised Standard Version.

You will gain respect from your wife if you show yourself steady and strong and able to make decisions. But that does not mean that no one else in the household is to be consulted or that your wife’s opinion is not to be given serious consideration just because it does not happen to agree with yours. Early in the Bible record we read about a serious problem in the household of Abraham and Sarah, involving their son Isaac and the son of their servant girl Hagar. Sarah recommended a solution that did not coincide with Abraham’s feelings on the matter. But God told Abraham: “Listen to her voice.”—Genesis 21:9-12.

We are not to conclude from this that a husband should always accede to his wife’s wishes. But it can be beneficial to discuss with her those decisions that affect the family, encouraging her to express her thoughts and feelings freely. Keep open the lines of communication, always be approachable, and weigh carefully her preferences in the decisions you make. Never be bossy or tyrannical in exercising headship, but manifest humility. You are not perfect, you will make mistakes, and when you do, you will want your wife’s understanding. When those situations arise, the wife whose husband is humble will find it easier to respect his headship than will one whose mate is proud.
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by Mamci: 9:21pm On Mar 06
Why would she even need to talk to anybody over something they can talk about
I have never discussed anything about my husband with anybody,we handle ourselves
My husband would complain to his mum or mine the first few months of our marriage and I would refuse to admit to either of them about any issue
One day I sat him down and was like"my love, how stubborn and difficult am I that the mighty you can't handle and that was it
It's been over 17 years
Re: Whom Should A Woman Listen To First? by tnerro1(m): 9:35pm On Mar 06
No go ooo, the man go nack the housemaid scatter if you go

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