Pls, Nigerians, come and rescue me from my husband before we both loss it. I need an accomodations for me and my two children. I don't want to keep enduring anymore. I'm tired. It has reached the stage of forcefully and violently taking and using whatever I struggle for to gamble. He gambles with everything. Even if we're hungry, he wouldn't provide, yet the little I could afford, he struggles with me and still gamble it away living us to suffer.


The present accomodations we have, I paid for it and it's expiring towards ending of the year. But I want to peaceful give him some distance to regain myself.
Family members have adviced him and they're all tired.
I need help. I can't even sleep comfortably in the night, I'm always afraid he might hurt me because of everyday quarrel and disapproval. I want to be alive to take care of my children.

Pls I need to go away. I need help. I'm in Abuja. I need accomodation, I want to be able to breathe. I'm suffocating here.

I have tried all I could, but he's not willing to change. His family members (his mom) testified he has this habit even from the university. It's a long story. I have been trying to save an addict, but all my efforts, wasted.
Now, he's acting violent with me. I don't want to move to my family house because he will start coming over and acting like he has change. As usual.

He played Arsenal to win tonight?

You kwanu u ase wicked... why not pray for him to win...
Must you fight his gambling spirit... work with him... Talk less.. help him forcast.. telling him he will win.. not lose

Martinsmine:
You kwanu u ase wicked... why not pray for him to win...
Must you fight his gambling spirit... work with him... Talk less.. help him forcast.. telling him he will win.. not lose

So, you mean is ok for a man to wake up every morning, have his bath and walk to betting shop, stay there from morning till night. Even if he win anything at all, he still gambles back. And keep repeating the same process from January to December without having anything, is fine with you?
That's crazy
I'm alive today, seeking help to protect myself and my children. Any kind hearted person who wish to help me. Pls do while I'm still breathing. I need to secure an accomodation and move away.
Once he returns back from his gambling and find no one in the house, nor food to violently take and eat, I believe, by then, he will start thinking about his life and start making effort to save himself.

Join a church and be committed you will find solace there

soulhelper481:
Pls, Nigerians, come and rescue me from my husband before we both loss it. I need an accomodations for me and my two children. I don't want to keep enduring anymore. I'm tired. It has reached the stage of forcefully and violently taking and using whatever I struggle for to gamble. He gambles with everything. Even if we're hungry, he wouldn't provide, yet the little I could afford, he struggles with me and still gamble it away living us to suffer.

The present accomodations we have, I paid for it and it's expiring towards ending of the year. But I want to peaceful give him some distance to regain myself.
Family members have adviced him and they're all tired.
I need help. I can't even sleep comfortably in the night, I'm always afraid he might hurt me because of everyday quarrel and disapproval. I want to be alive to take care of my children.

Pls I need to go away. I need help. I'm in Abuja. I need accomodation, I want to be able to breathe. I'm suffocating here.

I have tried all I could, but he's not willing to change. His family members (his mom) testified he has this habit even from the university. It's a long story. I have been trying to save an addict, but all my efforts, wasted.
Now, he's acting violent with me. I don't want to move to my family house because he will start coming over and acting like he has change. As usual

wherever you go, this man will follow you and scatter the little you will get... you have to do whats right and FIRST DIVORCE THIS ADDICT, and only then can you move along with your life. you cant possibly believe that getting another accommodation (in that same city) is gonna solve the issue, go back to your papa's house and stay there, and see if he will come to do nonsense there.

BTW the fact that you just created an account for this story, makes me believe this story might be a loads of bollocks to get small handouts from unsuspecting NLers. NLers be wise!

You didn't notice this habit when you guys were dating or you decided to feign ignorance thinking he will change? As a man, your primary role in a marriage is to provide and protect your family and inability to do this means you've failed in your responsibility and not a worthy husband. Madam, I will suggest you guys separate for now since you said he's showing signs of being violent.

Be wise as serpent.

Call 08068041464 and tell your story again

Some women are just struggling, suffering and smiling, all in the name of marriage. Madam run for your life.

The first people you should speak to is his family and not Nairaland

Madam, you are in love with this violent man of yours. Any effort to help you get a house is still going to be a waste. You have always known him to be a gambler but still married him hoping to help change him. You are broke now, that's why you want a respite but if you had enough you will indulge him and be working to change him.

Listen, people's bad habits only get worse after marriage. They never improve. You do not believe in divorce, so you cannot be helped. Two of you will keep engaging and the gambling will still continue till eternity. He is not an average gambler.

Right now, a demon is involved- that's why he goes violent and does it at the expense of his survival. You are clinging to a sinking ship by refusing to divorce that man. Don't fear society people, free yourself. Maybe he is under a spell. But then too, you have been yoked together to suffer the consequences of the spell through your marriage to him. But you can liberate yourself from the spell not by prayers but by divorce which is a more practical way to get deliverance for yourself

soulhelper481:
■ The present accomodations we have, I paid for it and it's expiring towards ending of the year. But I want to peaceful give him some distance to regain myself. Family members have adviced him and they're all tired. I need help. I can't even sleep comfortably in the night, I'm always afraid he might hurt me because of everyday quarrel and disapproval. I want to be alive to take care of my children.
Pls I need to go away. I need help. I'm in Abuja. I need accomodation, I want to be able to breathe. I'm suffocating here. I have tried all I could, but he's not willing to change. His family members (his mom) testified he has this habit even from the university. It's a long story. I have been trying to save an addict, but all my efforts, wasted. Now, he's acting violent with me. I don't want to move to my family house because he will start coming over and acting like he has change. As usual.

Sadly, your kind of story is a dime a dozen... so many women out there in pretty much the same marital self-created quagmire you happen to be in. The man has been this way since university yet you saw fit to have kids with him and even pay the bill all this while to feed and probably cloth him. Good, you are finally tired but I see you are looking for someone to help you get a brief vacation from him after which you head right back in to continue the "endurance" show you call marriage. Well, my suggestion to you would be that you head back to your parent's home for the time being. But since you don't seem completely done with this man at all (you are still open to him coming to you with tales of having changed), you could head over to your in-laws' place and let them home you until you are ready to head back into endurance mode again. Good luck!

Peakdesign23:
Some women are just struggling, suffering and smiling, all in the name of marriage. Madam run for your life.

All na to win the "Successful marriage" award naw! Na till death!

soulhelper481:
Pls, Nigerians, come and rescue me from my husband before we both loss it. I need an accomodations for me and my two children. I don't want to k.

Check your mail

Ruke1989:
Madam, you are in love with this violent man of yours. Any effort to help you get a house is still going to be a waste. You have always known him to be a gambler but still married him hoping to help change him. You are broke now, that's why you want a respite but if you had enough you will indulge him and be working to change him.

Listen, people's bad habits only get worse after marriage. They never improve. You do not believe in divorce, so you cannot be helped. Two of you will keep engaging and the gambling will still continue till eternity. He is not an average gambler.

Right now, a demon is involved- that's why he goes violent and does it at the expense of his survival. You are clinging to a sinking ship by refusing to divorce that man. Don't fear society people, free yourself. Maybe he is under a spell. But then too, you have been yoked together to suffer the consequences of the spell through your marriage to him. But you can liberate yourself from the spell not by prayers but by divorce which is a more practical way to get deliverance for yourself

I'm willing to divorce him, but I don't have an idea on divorce. But I have started reading and making inquiries. I just need to be away from him right now

Any lawyer in the house can put me through on process of divorce. I want to be with my children because he is not fit to keep them and take care of them.
I mentioned I will divorce him and he said, I will not go with the children

Kobojunkie:
Sadly, your kind of story is a dime a dozen... so many women out there in pretty much the same marital self-created quagmire you happen to be in. The man has been this way since university yet you saw fit to have kids with him and even pay the bill all this while to feed and probably cloth him. Good, you are finally tired but I see you are looking for someone to help you get a brief vacation from him after which you head right back in to continue the "endurance" show you call marriage. Well, my suggestion to you would be that you head back to your parent's home for the time being. But since you don't seem completely done with this man at all (you are still open to him coming to you with tales of having changed), you could head over to your in-laws' place and let them home you until you are ready to head back into endurance mode again. Good luck!

This is the best advice for you. Your statement shows you will still accept him irrespective.

soulhelper481:
Any lawyer in the house can put me through on process of divorce. I want to be with my children because he is not fit to keep them and take care of them.
I mentioned I will divorce him and he said, I will not go with the children

Filing a divorce is not cheap n wil take your time. But Goodluck with your options

soulhelper481:
So, you mean is ok for a man to wake up every morning, have his bath and walk to betting shop, stay there from morning till night. Even if he win anything at all, he still gambles back. And keep repeating the same process from January to December without having anything, is fine with you?
That's crazy

Total crazy, I will not deny I don't gamble but it's a thing of weekend matches and it's not suppose to pass 3hunred naira, why would I leave my precious family and invest so much in gambling while the name alone is the answer? So if I come home what will I tell my Sons when they say Daddy welcome?? I can never go mad to that level na, God forbid

Move back to your family house first and don't listen when he starts coming.

Hmmm...

Martinsmine:
You kwanu u ase wicked... why not pray for him to win...
Must you fight his gambling spirit... work with him... Talk less.. help him forcast.. telling him he will win.. not lose

You cannot know how tied is a shoe which you haven't wear it before.

My two cent

Zwooks:
Join a church and be committed you will find solace there

Not now ohhh

Church is also on fire at the moment

MOG6670:


Not now ohhh

Church is also on fire at the moment

How do you mean ?

Martinsmine:
You kwanu u ase wicked... why not pray for him to win...
Must you fight his gambling spirit... work with him... Talk less.. help him forcast.. telling him he will win.. not lose

Your advice sounds irrationally stupid.

A woman is seeking for assistance to save herself from the turmoils & emotional trauma that she is facing over years of trying to save her unrepentant gambling husband and you dey cap nonsense.

Bia, be very careful. 🙄

soulhelper481:
So, you mean is ok for a man to wake up every morning, have his bath and walk to betting shop, stay there from morning till night. Even if he win anything at all, he still gambles back. And keep repeating the same process from January to December without having anything, is fine with you?
That's crazy

what does he do for a living?

Professional gambler

Goodnewsforlife:
what does he do for a living?

Bet house is his office, as confirmed by wifey.

soulhelper481:
So, you mean is ok for a man to wake up every morning, have his bath and walk to betting shop, stay there from morning till night. Even if he win anything at all, he still gambles back. And keep repeating the same process from January to December without having anything, is fine with you?
That's crazy

So, did you wants to marry me? Would you marries me?

Head back to your parents' house with the children.

Should it end in divorce, you will have custody of the children while he gets visitation rights and the kids can get to spend part of their school holidays with him if he proves to the court that he is capable of providing care for them.

The court would mandate him to contribute to their upkeep while they are with you

soulhelper481:
Pls, Nigerians, come and rescue me from my husband before we both loss it. I need an accomodations for me and my two children. I don't want to keep enduring anymore. I'm tired. It has reached the stage of forcefully and violently taking and using whatever I struggle for to gamble. He gambles with everything. Even if we're hungry, he wouldn't provide, yet the little I could afford, he struggles with me and still gamble it away living us to suffer.


The present accomodations we have, I paid for it and it's expiring towards ending of the year. But I want to peaceful give him some distance to regain myself.
Family members have adviced him and they're all tired.
I need help. I can't even sleep comfortably in the night, I'm always afraid he might hurt me because of everyday quarrel and disapproval. I want to be alive to take care of my children.

Pls I need to go away. I need help. I'm in Abuja. I need accomodation, I want to be able to breathe. I'm suffocating here.

I have tried all I could, but he's not willing to change. His family members (his mom) testified he has this habit even from the university. It's a long story. I have been trying to save an addict, but all my efforts, wasted.
Now, he's acting violent with me. I don't want to move to my family house because he will start coming over and acting like he has change. As usual.

someone said "Never to marry a Nigerian woman" look i dont support these quote but looking at the behaviour of most of our woman in these our current generation. Its really scary.
Infact with these kind of mentality marriages would never last. people would be divorcing within weeks of marriage.


having said that.

Look madam i kindly sympathise with you about what you are going through. infact i have been there. But in my case i was the husband. only that i causually started gambling few months beforei got married. Lockdown came in 2020 and that was when my demons started manifesting fully. I became an addict untill i lost my job, car frinds and then Marriage.

The irony of it all was that i could see the damage and the negative effect of the addiction in everything that has to do with me.
Even on my physical appearance.

I cry deeply in my heart as i was helpless. All my brain wanted was to win back all the money... the other irony of it was that.. even after winning it back i still find myself going back and losing all again.

the question is.. was i aware what was happening to me .. YES

was I happy.. No

can I stop.. No > Because I could not control my mind anymore.


Look Madam... I fully understand how you feel.

But am assuming your Husband might not be the worse husband in town.

But the fact still remains that his actions are hurting and ruining lifes.

About the violent

Madam..

like in my case mine got into 1 or 2 violents scenes (i allowed her to beat me) yes my wife beat me up ahaahahaa...

Have i ever beat my wife.. No

Would i ever beat my wife.. Never

But my wife became super abusive and disrespectful (talks or responds in a disrespectful manner, comes home late, stopped cooking, stopped any romantic activity, do anything she likes, keeps malice, always busy on the phone)when she became tired of Supporting the house.

My Sin was gambling/inability to provide. which lead to the above crisis.

Other than that things was going to remain good.



Now let me say these to you madam and any other woman who might be going through these.

Just know that you are not alone. infact Gambling has become a global pandemic which which is and has become a threat to families. Just like every other addiction out there.

And understand that anyone can become a victim. including your own kids. And am sure when you Son or daughter become sick you dont throw them away or disown them.

Now is divorce the only option? I strongly believe its Not.

because at the end of the day most of them those men suffers more.

So my point in all these..

There should be more awareness about the dangers of gambling

And the government should do something about the numerous gambling operators both ofdine and online.

Then Families should please with love and care start treating Gambling addiction as the demon it is.

An addict needs help every help they can get. In a developed countries there are program's available to rehabilitate addicts.

Ma i dont know your main purpose of wating to divorce your husband.. let me ask, If your husband was not addcted or losing and was providing... would you have thought about divorcing him?

if your answer is No.

Then on his behave.
please all he need is love, encouragment. tell him all the money he lost are all gone for good. let him know is okey to start over.

And try to manage him and his finances.. all in love. look like on my case it wont be easy. but with love I gurantee you you both will come out Strong.

Google him resources to help me.
Just help him ma.

These is not the time to fight your husband but a time for both of you to fight the addiction and win the fight.

Conaider these scenario...

You divorce him

You leave and continue he struggle alone.

you try new relationships... men use and disapoint you. You might still be lucky to find a good man who would stay. am not sure the chances.

But what is the gurantee the new man ma not have his own addiction. it might not be gambling..

Now your divorced husband is left shattered and loses maybe even shelter over his head.

Maybe one day He beats th addition alone and bounces back on his feet.

Now would you want him back?

Emmanuel30a2:
So, did you wants to marry me? Would you marries me?

The aim of leaving him is not to marry someone else

kelechi50:
Professional gambler Bet house is his office, as confirmed by wifey.

what I am saying is that he must have what he was doing prior to their wedding

Which job did he tell his prospective in laws he was doing then?

If the job has issues maybe they can revive it for him or better still put him in another line

A busy man won’t have time for rubbish, if his family can join hands together n buy him a bike or car or keke napep to hustle

I bet u once he start getting busy n seeing change he won’t gamble again