Nonexisting1:
No, do the DNA test now to help you know if and if not you should be involved in his life. If he is your son, you must not fight for custody immediately, just remain involved in his life for now until he is of age. If not, he will despise you after they must have downloaded lies in his brain. If he is not your son, then to hell with everybody and continue your normal life.

very right sir, I really appreciate... God bless you alot!!! I'll start working on that soonest. Just that for now i need to heal.

Life is not black and white.

Get all the information regarding this situation to enable you to make a better decision.

Before confronting a spouse with any serious issue like this, get your ducks on a roll.

1. Is the second kid yours?

2. Who is the father of the first kid?, Is he alive or dead? Are they still in contact? Is he even aware of the kid?

3. Who else knows?

4. How is my relationship with my wife?

5. Is she a good mother to my kids?

6. Is she fully committed to this marriage?

Life is deep and decisions should be taken to serve your best interest and not what society expects from you.

Mentholated:
Life is not black and white.

Get all the information regarding this situation to enable you to make a better decision.

Before confronting a spouse with any serious issue like this, get your ducks on a roll.

1. Is the second kid yours?

2. Who is the father of the first kid?, Is he alive or dead? Are they still in contact? Is he even aware of the kid?

3. Who else knows?

4. How is my relationship with my wife?

5. Is she a good mother to my kids?

6. Is she fully committed to this marriage?

Life is deep and decisions should be taken to serve your best interest and not what society expects from you.

the father of the first child is alive and aware... I found out that they've been contact secretly.

You should have come here to seek advice before sending her packing ,Yoruba adage says if ear doesn't hear bad news the stomach will not get spoiled think of all the rich men and all the mothers that knows the children they had for their man are not theirs yet they all lived happily you just brought forever sadness to your life what is important in this life is a child love I pity you .

I can only imagine what you going through.
Please how much does it cost, I mean the DNA!

Afonja101:
I'm sorry for opening a new account to post this and also start afresh on nairaland.

I'm married with two kids aged 9yrs & 6yrs respectively. I was dating my wife while we were planning to marry, then she got pregnant and claimed it's for me, so due to the pressure from her family i had to taker her in ASAP before the pregnancy becomes conspicuous which is what the family was avoiding.

She have birth to the child in 2015 and since then i've been having doubt about being the father of the child, but there was no means of conducting a DNA test due to financial constraints, so i forgot about the DNA test totally and continued taking care of my wife and the child because of the love i have for both of them. Honestly guys i passed through alot in order to cater for them and make them happy... I've seen real stress.

Early this year the mental torture about the Paternity of the child started hitting me real hard again because the child does not look anywhere close to me or my wife, then i started working and saving towards a DNA test.

Finally on the 2nd May, 2024 i conducted a DNA test secretly. After two weeks i was browsing through my phone then a mail entered from the DNA centre. My hands started shaking, my body became so cold due to fear.

After 30mins or thereabout i summoned the courage to open the mail, that was when i got the greatest shock of my life, the probability of Paternity is 0.03%. Immediately i went blank and couldn't even talk as my blood pressure became so high, i was only shedding tears.

After two days, i asked my wife who the father of the child is and immediately she heard my question, she knelt down crying and begging me to forgive her, she said the child belongs to her ex boyfriend, that they've been dating even before i met her.

She further confessed that when she got pregnant, she told him but he denied being responsible and because i was equally dating her and we were also having sex, she decided to pin it on me. I've been taking care of a child who isn't mine for the past 9 years?

I asked her to leave my house together with the two children and i told her that even the second child is not mine because i don't know what to believe anymore. She has left my house already but I'm still passing through a great state of depression, i can't eat, I can't do anything again, just crying my life out.
I don't even pray for night to come because of how difficult it is for sleep to come. Please guys will i ever get over this or heal? It keeps getting fresher and fresher in my mind every moment...

This is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life... God!

Sorry chief ..the greatest nairaland quote ever was by mosdii.."Nigerian girls are useless,all of them...go take some borrles .it will go a long way to ease ur pain small

Afonja101:
the father of the first child is alive and aware... I found out that they've been contact secretly.

You’re a troll making up stories to get engagement. I don’t understand why because nairaland doesn’t pay but I guess you seek attention. This is a fake thread/ 👍

Afonja101:
Though I'm thanking God for finding out, I'm also in pains because of how much i love her.... I just wish i can move on.

Are these mods or just lonely people? 🙄

Afonja101:
I'm sorry for opening a new account to post this and also start afresh on nairaland.

I'm married with two kids aged 9yrs & 6yrs respectively. I was dating my wife while we were planning to marry, then she got pregnant and claimed it's for me, so due to the pressure from her family i had to taker her in ASAP before the pregnancy becomes conspicuous which is what the family was avoiding.

She have birth to the child in 2015 and since then i've been having doubt about being the father of the child, but there was no means of conducting a DNA test due to financial constraints, so i forgot about the DNA test totally and continued taking care of my wife and the child because of the love i have for both of them. Honestly guys i passed through alot in order to cater for them and make them happy... I've seen real stress.

Early this year the mental torture about the Paternity of the child started hitting me real hard again because the child does not look anywhere close to me or my wife, then i started working and saving towards a DNA test.

Finally on the 2nd May, 2024 i conducted a DNA test secretly. After two weeks i was browsing through my phone then a mail entered from the DNA centre. My hands started shaking, my body became so cold due to fear.

After 30mins or thereabout i summoned the courage to open the mail, that was when i got the greatest shock of my life, the probability of Paternity is 0.03%. Immediately i went blank and couldn't even talk as my blood pressure became so high, i was only shedding tears.

After two days, i asked my wife who the father of the child is and immediately she heard my question, she knelt down crying and begging me to forgive her, she said the child belongs to her ex boyfriend, that they've been dating even before i met her.

She further confessed that when she got pregnant, she told him but he denied being responsible and because i was equally dating her and we were also having sex, she decided to pin it on me. I've been taking care of a child who isn't mine for the past 9 years?

I asked her to leave my house together with the two children and i told her that even the second child is not mine because i don't know what to believe anymore. She has left my house already but I'm still passing through a great state of depression, i can't eat, I can't do anything again, just crying my life out.
I don't even pray for night to come because of how difficult it is for sleep to come. Please guys will i ever get over this or heal? It keeps getting fresher and fresher in my mind every moment...

This is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life... God!

Sorry about that but trust me, don't let emotions rule you, u would have more depression if u allow her back into ur life...talking from experience

Kinghenry1315:
You should have come here to seek advice before sending her packing ,Yoruba adage says if ear doesn't hear bad news the stomach will not get spoiled think of all the rich men and all the mothers that knows the children they had for their man are not theirs yet they all lived happily you just brought forever sadness to your life what is important in this life is a child love I pity you .

you are the one that should be pitted ...what a shame ...so he should have bought it here first so that you will give this advice . So he should just ignore all his findings and Iive with a deceiver and a fraud happily ever after.

It's your lots that brings shame to men....if that's the case All of us should not bother looking for a decent wife rather will should just go to a brothel and get any ashawo for a wife and even if she gives us loads of other people's children we should just live happily ever after .

Op in all you do don't listen to this person or his likes ..

Afonja101:
I'm sorry for opening a new account to post this and also start afresh on nairaland.

I'm married with two kids aged 9yrs & 6yrs respectively. I was dating my wife while we were planning to marry, then she got pregnant and claimed it's for me, so due to the pressure from her family i had to taker her in ASAP before the pregnancy becomes conspicuous which is what the family was avoiding.

She have birth to the child in 2015 and since then i've been having doubt about being the father of the child, but there was no means of conducting a DNA test due to financial constraints, so i forgot about the DNA test totally and continued taking care of my wife and the child because of the love i have for both of them. Honestly guys i passed through alot in order to cater for them and make them happy... I've seen real stress.

Early this year the mental torture about the Paternity of the child started hitting me real hard again because the child does not look anywhere close to me or my wife, then i started working and saving towards a DNA test.

Finally on the 2nd May, 2024 i conducted a DNA test secretly. After two weeks i was browsing through my phone then a mail entered from the DNA centre. My hands started shaking, my body became so cold due to fear.

After 30mins or thereabout i summoned the courage to open the mail, that was when i got the greatest shock of my life, the probability of Paternity is 0.03%. Immediately i went blank and couldn't even talk as my blood pressure became so high, i was only shedding tears.

After two days, i asked my wife who the father of the child is and immediately she heard my question, she knelt down crying and begging me to forgive her, she said the child belongs to her ex boyfriend, that they've been dating even before i met her.

She further confessed that when she got pregnant, she told him but he denied being responsible and because i was equally dating her and we were also having sex, she decided to pin it on me. I've been taking care of a child who isn't mine for the past 9 years?

I asked her to leave my house together with the two children and i told her that even the second child is not mine because i don't know what to believe anymore. She has left my house already but I'm still passing through a great state of depression, i can't eat, I can't do anything again, just crying my life out.
I don't even pray for night to come because of how difficult it is for sleep to come. Please guys will i ever get over this or heal? It keeps getting fresher and fresher in my mind every moment...

This is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life... God!

Your spirit no gree from day one
But you continue prolonging the karma
The pain could have been less if you had done what your spirit was telling you since 2015
I never feel this kin pain before so I no fit advice you well
The good thing is
Time heals and your single now
Please leave Nigerian women for now if you are soft hearted

Check DNA of second child. If the child is yours take back immediately. My child is exactly 9yrs old and I almost married a lady that would have put me in the same mess. God help you.

skj1377:
Check DNA of second child. If the child is yours take back immediately. My child is exactly 9yrs old and I almost married a lady that would have put me in the same mess. God help you.

I'm planning to do that soonest bro

Zaheertyler:

Your spirit no gree from day one
But you continue prolonging the karma
The pain could have been less if you had done what your spirit was telling you since 2015
I never feel this kin pain before so I no fit advice you well
The good thing is
Time heals and your single now
Please leave Nigerian women for now if you are soft hearted

I was not having money to do the DNA right from time that was the major constraint.

Adonko:
you are the one that should be pitted ...what a shame ...so he should have bought it here first so that you will give this advice . So he should just ignore all his findings and Iive with a deceiver and a fraud happily ever after.

It's your lots that brings shame to men....if that's the case All of us should not bother looking for a decent wife rather will should just go to a brothel and get any ashawo for a wife and even if she gives us loads of other people's children we should just live happily ever after .

Op in all you do don't listen to this person or his likes ..

thank you very much sir, i can't appreciate you less. I'm already getting over it gradually and move on with my life. But to take her back? Never in my life!!!

2Radii:


Sorry about that but trust me, don't let emotions rule you, u would have more depression if u allow her back into ur life...talking from experience

hmmm, I'm already healing gradually bro, taking her back is what i'll never do in my life. God forbid!!!

Nexttpage:
I can only imagine what you going through.
Please how much does it cost, I mean the DNA!

it cost me 170k... You can't imagine what I'm going through bro, this is the worst thing that can happen to a man.

Kinghenry1315:
You should have come here to seek advice before sending her packing ,Yoruba adage says if ear doesn't hear bad news the stomach will not get spoiled think of all the rich men and all the mothers that knows the children they had for their man are not theirs yet they all lived happily you just brought forever sadness to your life what is important in this life is a child love I pity you .

so i should keep a woman who is capable of killing me? A woman who know all the while thay I'm not the father of her child and yet kept quite for almost a decade? I should I keep quite knowing fully well that the real father of the child has started talking about his child?

I pray this happen to you someday so that you can forgive.

[quote author=Adonko post=130059759] you are the one that should be pitted ...what a shame ...so he should have bought it here first so that you will give this advice . So he should just ignore all his findings and Iive with a deceiver and a fraud happily ever after.

It's your lots that brings shame to men....if that's the case All of us should not bother looking for a decent wife rather will should just go to a brothel and get any ashawo for a wife and even if she gives us loads of other people's children we should just live happily ever after .

Op in all you do don't listen to this person or his likes ..

What matters in the end is a child that will burry you and take care of you in old age do you know if you are a true child of that father you craved only a mother knows who the real father of a child is let nairaland adviser continue to coach you,you will be miserable and lonely in your old age .

Afonja101:
I'm planning to do that soonest bro

I wonder how life was designed. It's good guys that always suffer in hands of these terrible women. I can imagine what your going through.
Don't love her pls. Cancel any love for her.

skj1377:


I wonder how life was designed. It's good guys that always suffer in hands of these terrible women. I can imagine what your going through.
Don't love her pls. Cancel any love for her.

you're right sir, i really appreciate, though it's not easy but I'm gradually doing that already and I thank God I'm gradually moving on.

[quote author=Kinghenry1315 post=130060792][/quote] so you think God will not give me other children who will take care of me in my old age or carry me to my grave?

How will you be too sure all the other children will be yours so you continue having DNA for all your children my advice for you is to love and care for your next wife and if she get pregnant always calculate the day you have sex last to the day she took in and always ask how old the pregnancy is you might be lucky but is not guaranteed is only a woman love and conscience that does

okoroemeka:
I don't even understand why men will sacrifice their peace of mind just to verify who born pikin,I cannot put myself in such situation in this short life, honestly I don't care,so he will now go through the stress of marrying another woman maybe padlocking the pussy or testing every baby that she will born?I am not that insecure and I don't give a rat ass

baba, you don't care if your wife presents another man's pregnancy to you as your own? So, you don't care if she's having an extra marital affair? Nawao

Some women are very dumb wahlahi, when your boyfriend rejected the pregnancy, why not get a good doctor and safely abort the pregnancy instead of getting herself into this very ugly situation, why force someone else's child on an innocent guy? It does not make sense that we are not trained to make rational decisions in this part of the world.

Completely befuddles and beats my imagination!