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All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Macmilla(m): 6:30pm On May 24
techgen:


Off the mic…nor loud am😏
Abeg, I go loud am. Women keep acting like they are doing men a favor by marrying them, while men are the ones saving their lives with marriage while basically committing suicide.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by okoroemeka(m): 5:57am On May 25
Macmilla:

Let us face facts and stop deceiving ourselves.
What exactly do men gain from marriage?
Tell me one thing you are getting as a married man that you couldn't get as an unmarried man. Just one thing.
you are already missing the facts because if not you will not ask this question,how you view marriage cannot be the same how other people view it,you cannot see the value of marriage from other people's perspective but you can view and analyse from your own perception,this is a personal question that is best suited only for you to answer

1 Like

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by DelilahMakinde(f): 3:09pm On May 25
tyup:


Taking care of himself doesn't determines how sweet marriage is. that to me is delusional

Tankiu...very delusional.
Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by StarRiderr: 4:08pm On May 25
I will never advice anyone to go into marriage with this current high inflation rate in Nigeria now unless you're financially buoyant even the rich is finding it difficult to fend for their families now.... Tinubu is a disaster to Nigeria

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Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by ProjectsCityNG: 4:17pm On May 25
StarRiderr:
I will never advice anyone to go into marriage with this current high inflation rate in Nigeria now unless you're financially buoyant even the rich is finding it difficult to fend for their families now.... Tinubu is a disaster to Nigeria


Is it that bad ?
Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Macmilla(m): 6:07pm On May 25
okoroemeka:
you are already missing the facts because if not you will not ask this question,how you view marriage cannot be the same how other people view it,you cannot see the value of marriage from other people's perspective but you can view and analyse from your own perception,this is a personal question that is best suited only for you to answer
You are also missing the point. Before I asked my question, I already have an answer from my own perspective. But my picture can not be the whole picture. That's why I'm asking others who probably have other views. I'm hoping my own view will be proven wrong.
Up till now, no one has given me an answer and that is because, sincerely speaking, there is no answer.

2 Likes

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Honeydenz(f): 7:50pm On May 25
Let me give you weekends facts for free, take it or leave it.

What pushes you men into early, unprepared (insufficient finance) marriage is your love for SEX. Men wants sex, women wants marriage. It's as simple as that. So everyone is selfish with his/her personal desire. SO to get sex, u promise marriage,and depending on the girl, there's a way a lady make u believe that marriage equates unlimited SEX, then boom!!! You foolishly jump into it, only to realise that sex is the last thing a struggling married man will get by the time real marriage realities sets in, but now who's to blame? Yes I remember: the Nigerian president as usual. He failed to teach us how to zip our joysticks inside our trousers, Lol. Women hardly give without expecting to take back. Relatioship is like trade by batter and eventually everyone gets what he or she aims at. These are truths you won't hear everyday from a woman.

Unfortunately, what breaks most marriages is lack of finance. Yes! Marriage can send a man to an early grave if God's not on his side, But then I had to pause and asked myself how our forefathers were able to finance marriage with multiple women in d olden days with so many kids and still live to a very ripe old age? To think that thier wives, then, most of them were full time housewives unlike now where most wives support thier husbands at home with money yet still complain. Has anyone else asked this question? How did they do it? Hard work? Maybe that brings us to another question; Are our men of modern world actually lazy as stated by former president buhari? Whatever happens, let's not brood over something that takes alot to achieve, rather those who are married should take pride in d fact that they are able to afford it instead of seeing it as an obstacle simply because those (single guys) who can't afford it yet hyprocrically criticises it only to hear, every saturday, that they are getting married.

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Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Obierika(m): 12:28am On May 26
ProjectsCityNG:



Is it that bad ?

You've been on Nairaland for the past 3 months begging for 100K and you're asking if it's that bad grin
Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by BigIyanga: 1:45am On May 26
Natbrowny:
Its like saying. U'll be like them when you get married

Change ur mindset

Marriage is not someone having a girlfriend. Its you having another person living with you.

So many things will happen. Ur ability to stand and withstand things, compromising things etc.
He made an empirical observation as a student of history. Only naive folks think that their cases would have a different outcome even though they have less financial and emotional preparation going into marriage. Marriage is an expensive endeavour for men… You can never never be fully ready for it.
Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by MikeofKd(m): 12:11pm On May 26
The Truth is your own dey for front except u decide not to have kids. But if u do then ur own suffering is at the front , child support and bills go wan cripple u, better be prepared.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by ConfidentialDoc: 12:24pm On May 26
okoroemeka:
you are already missing the facts because if not you will not ask this question,how you view marriage cannot be the same how other people view it,you cannot see the value of marriage from other people's perspective but you can view and analyse from your own perception,this is a personal question that is best suited only for you to answer

But dude,
After reading all you wrote up there you really haven't answered the poster. Infact, let's just say you don't have an answer to the question.

I've tried to honestly consider the question myself and I believe the poster is right on this one until proven wrong.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by UniQue84: 12:54pm On May 26
Bankowner:

Even God did not make it easy for man to till the soil.
Go and work, work was never designed to be easy.
I hate it and find it disgusting when your lots keep shouting go and work..BTw how do you know he is not working..he made a very good assertion that it is never easy making this money which is true especially in this Nigeria.

Am amazed how you guys think someone making 100-200k monthly as salary is he not working ...what do you want him to do again ..kill himself. Most of you are into crime that fetches you illicit wealth..cos when you hear go and hustle what they are saying is beyond normal legit hustling cos nobody (responsible adult) will fold his hands and allow hunger to kill him.

Stop pushing people to do the undo or things way beyond thier league or meeting societal expectation.

The topic raised is worthy of reasonable/logical debate

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by essentialone(m): 1:04pm On May 26
jeromestarks:
We were seven friends growing up. After University, we lost contact due NYSC posting.
Last week, we reunited at the wedding of the daughter of our village head.
To my surprise, the five that are married are not looking good at all. It was so obvious that the lady who served us food (also our close friend) asked one of us if he is sick. This guy use to have swag and clean beards then. But now, his beards look so scattered. His potbelly starts from his chest. His face have become so wide and flat. His hairs are all gone. Like, nothing on his head but skin. Clothes couldn't fit him again. Unlike when we were in the university. This guy was tall and handsome but I don't understand how he now look short, fat with shoulders raised to the neck.


He isn't the only one that looked frustrated. One can't even walk well again. Stroke? He said no. Then what happened?
The painful one is the guy who use to be gentle and happy. We all knew this guy as a jovial person. Omo! When we met at the wedding ceremony, this guy looked so depressed. The pains he goes through daily show on his face.

I thought it was the journey that put so much frustrations on them but all of them came to the wedding by fight!
The had rested in a nearby hotel for two days before the wedding day. So why did the look so bad?
The annoying part is that, as we discussed over drinks, these guys still say dumb shitts like "marriage is good oooo. Do and get married"
And I was like "marriage is good but look at you guys. You're all shadows of yourselves. Is this how you were 9 years ago?"
They all agreed that the are going through hard times caused by marriage.

I and the one who is not married looked so clean, happy and healthy. We don't have problems. We chilled with young girls at the event. We were so attractive. Unlike our married counterparts.


Omo, married men are going through a lot ooo.

2 broke people
One is struggling to break out of poverty and the other one is waiting for the first one to make it so she will claim she was there for him while he was struggling,
But my question to you my sister,
Are you forbidden from working so hard to escape poverty.
Men
She is still with you because you are her best option, there is nothing like being loyal.
I will treat a woman that stand by me very well as long as she wasn't abusive during my struggling period and claim she was doing me a favour by dating me, secondly if she is not having entitlement mentality, then I will treat her like a queen which she is.
Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by shaybebaby(f): 1:33pm On May 26
otipoju:


Omo e no dey easy. I have practically become another person entirely. Every 5 minutes, I dey settle complaint. This one hit me, this one dey repeat wetin I talk, something bite me , i want drink water.
It's easy to tell you are a hands on dad.

Your post made me 😂
Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by skywalker240(m): 1:35pm On May 26
Married life has been a Blessing all these years, but I must be honest, the economy is not friendly with the average income most Married Men makes

Bills keep pilling up

School fees to pay

Food for the whole family

I can't imagine what i spend nowadays on my car, buying and fixing part's replacement 😭😭

House rent

Leaving home early in the morning for hustle and coming back late night tired with no time for relaxation

These were never much of challenges back then, until 2015 when the economy started experiencing a heavy downturn

A Man with Wife and 4 children are okay with a salary of 80k in 2014/15

A Man with Wife and just 2 children will definitely struggle with a salary of 280k in this present time

The economy is one problem here, most of the women we married are not helping out either.

1 Like

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by jaywon442: 1:45pm On May 26
squash47:
rubbish talk.

Got you
Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by jaywon442: 2:02pm On May 26
1Sharon:
Out of all seven friends, you're the only one doing well?

The common denominator is you, you're bad luck.

Is marriage a dream
Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Morbeta11(m): 2:20pm On May 26
They are men, facing their responsibilities....if you don't know, they are far ahead of you. You will definitely regret this statement someday when you decide to be responsible.
Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by jaywon442: 3:15pm On May 26
ruggedtimi:
So chilling with young girls is the happiness here. Dey there by the time 30yrs come go and you have no child ur eye go clear
. He can have child out of wedlock
Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Vijuchoco(f): 3:23pm On May 26
idahme:


Ur father should wake up? It seems you were never taught respect in communication by your parents, it seems you don't know how to comprehend. Did I say marriage is easy? I meant it requires team work to make it less difficult.



Lol
Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by jaywon442: 3:40pm On May 26
kestolove95:
Oga goan marry
..put it this way instead.

Oga goan marry and stop knacking my wife. As a married man they way and rate this unmarried men are knacking married women and their daughters is cremation. I make sure I don't let any young unmarried lad near my wife. They have all become Yoruba demon

1 Like

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by jeromestarks: 4:19pm On May 26
essentialone:


2 broke people
One is struggling to break out of poverty and the other one is waiting for the first one to make it so she will claim she was there for him while he was struggling,
But my question to you my sister,
Are you forbidden from working so hard to escape poverty.
Men
She is still with you because you are her best option, there is nothing like being loyal.
I will treat a woman that stand by me very well as long as she wasn't abusive during my struggling period and claim she was doing me a favour by dating me, secondly if she is not having entitlement mentality, then I will treat her like a queen which she is.
Who is this one?

2 Likes

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by jeromestarks: 4:21pm On May 26
Morbeta11:
They are men, facing their responsibilities....if you don't know, they are far ahead of you. You will definitely regret this statement someday when you decide to be responsible.
Responsiblity say make you put yourself inside suffering?
It's like you didn't take vitamin B 12 when you dey your mother womb.

2 Likes

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Macmilla(m): 4:24pm On May 26
Honeydenz:
Let me give you weekends facts for free, take it or leave it.

What pushes you men into early, unprepared (insufficient finance) marriage is your love for SEX. Men wants sex, women wants marriage. It's as simple as that. So everyone is selfish with his/her personal desire. SO to get sex, u promise marriage,and depending on the girl, there's a way a lady make u believe that marriage equates unlimited SEX, then boom!!! You foolishly jump into it, only to realise that sex is the last thing a struggling married man will get by the time real marriage realities sets in, but now who's to blame? Yes I remember: the Nigerian president as usual. He failed to teach us how to zip our joysticks inside our trousers, Lol. Women hardly give without expecting to take back. Relatioship is like trade by batter and eventually everyone gets what he or she aims at. These are truths you won't hear everyday from a woman.

Unfortunately, what breaks most marriages is lack of finance. Yes! Marriage can send a man to an early grave if God's not on his side, But then I had to pause and asked myself how our forefathers were able to finance marriage with multiple women in d olden days with so many kids and still live to a very ripe old age? To think that thier wives, then, most of them were full time housewives unlike now where most wives support thier husbands at home with money yet still complain. Has anyone else asked this question? How did they do it? Hard work? Maybe that brings us to another question; Are our men of modern world actually lazy as stated by former president buhari? Whatever happens, let's not brood over something that takes alot to achieve, rather those who are married should take pride in d fact that they are able to afford it instead of seeing it as an obstacle simply because those (single guys) who can't afford it yet hyprocrically criticises it only to hear, every saturday, that they are getting married.

Your first paragraph is basically saying that men are being tricked into marriage because of their love for sex. Well, I'll agree but it's not just for sex, but also the hope of having a companion. Unfortunately these days, women are more a burden and less a companion even to the financially capable.

Your second paragraph egs a question; what changed? I strongly disagree that men are now lazier. Is the truck pusher in the market also lazy? I dare say that men, especially Nigerian, are even more hardworking than before. Back in the days, housewives and children follow the men to the farm to cultivate and harvest. Now the housewives are only at home thinking of the next expensive clothes and wigs to buy and the expensive school to enroll the kids. The kids on the other hand, are always busy with school work. That leaves the man to do all the breadwinning. The current situation of Nigeria has also made the breadwinning ever so difficult. So what changed? Your guess is as good as mine.

And yes, people will keep getting married every weekend, cos the women will always find a way to fool the gullible men who have been told that you are not a man till you marry, or that behind every successful man there is a woman.

3 Likes

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Macmilla(m): 4:25pm On May 26
MikeofKd:
The Truth is your own dey for front except u decide not to have kids. But if u do then ur own suffering is at the front , child support and bills go wan cripple u, better be prepared.
Children, the most expensive investment with the least return on investment.

2 Likes

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Morbeta11(m): 4:29pm On May 26
jeromestarks:

Responsiblity say make you put yourself inside suffering?
It's like you didn't take vitamin B 12 when you dey your mother womb.

You are still a baby in a man's body...keep sucking your mama's breast and continue hiding in her vagina....manhood will still fish you out...QED.

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Macmilla(m): 4:30pm On May 26
essentialone:


2 broke people
One is struggling to break out of poverty and the other one is waiting for the first one to make it so she will claim she was there for him while he was struggling,
But my question to you my sister,
Are you forbidden from working so hard to escape poverty.
Men
She is still with you because you are her best option, there is nothing like being loyal.
I will treat a woman that stand by me very well as long as she wasn't abusive during my struggling period and claim she was doing me a favour by dating me, secondly if she is not having entitlement mentality, then I will treat her like a queen which she is.
FACT!
All the women here know it but won't admit it.

3 Likes

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Macmilla(m): 4:35pm On May 26
Morbeta11:
They are men, facing their responsibilities....if you don't know, they are far ahead of you. You will definitely regret this statement someday when you decide to be responsible.
I'm guessing you are saying this because of children. First question: must he have children? Where is it written every man must have children? Please don't give me the "old age" talk.
Second question: have you not seen people with children but without marriage?

2 Likes

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Honeydenz(f): 6:44pm On May 26
Macmilla:


Your first paragraph is basically saying that men are being tricked into marriage because of their love for sex. Well, I'll agree but it's not just for sex, but also the hope of having a companion. Unfortunately these days, women are more a burden and less a companion even to the financially capable.

Your second paragraph egs a question; what changed? I strongly disagree that men are now lazier. Is the truck pusher in the market also lazy? I dare say that men, especially Nigerian, are even more hardworking than before. Back in the days, housewives and children follow the men to the farm to cultivate and harvest. Now the housewives are only at home thinking of the next expensive clothes and wigs to buy and the expensive school to enroll the kids. The kids on the other hand, are always busy with school work. That leaves the man to do all the breadwinning. The current situation of Nigeria has also made the breadwinning ever so difficult. So what changed? Your guess is as good as mine.

And yes, people will keep getting married every weekend, cos the women will always find a way to fool the gullible men who have been told that you are not a man till you marry, or that behind every successful man there is a woman.

Not being tricked. No body is tricking anybody. If you understand my first paragraph you would understand what they call OBSESSION, any habit u fail to put in check has its consequences. You are an adult, so don't say another adult tricked you into what u aren't prepared for. Nobody should blame anybody, not even the president, for thier actions and inactions. We should learn to know before hand that whatever we do, has its undercover advantages and disadvantages. You saw honey and decided to lick it, only to discover later its made from feases, then turn around later to blame the bees that made it? Who does that?

Talking about economy and 2024 inflation as compared to the previous years, nothing really has changed, there have always been poor people, and rich people and no matter whose governing Nigeria, there will always be those in d front and those who choosed to be at d back, no thanks to thier various obsession. The asient father leading his wives and kids to the farm for planting and harvest were poor household, u agree with me? There were others in d city who buy those farm produce with d same number of wives and kids with d farmer, yet he shoulder the responsibilities without blaming any of the militarily head of states. how about that? I too have made some decisions in d past which I regret, but I didn't blame anybody, am an adult, I take responsibility for my actions, favourable or not. I am forced to look down on the youths we have nowadays, u sit in one place expecting maga to pay, and when they don't, u result to stealing and complains, then turn around to blame the government. What do u all know about building a better country? a country where nepa moves from house to house to draw light bills yet many still wont pay is what u compare to a nation where light bills, and all other utilities are debited automatically from ur account each month, unfailingly? Am tired of typing....
Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Bankowner: 8:12pm On May 26
UniQue84:
I hate it and find it disgusting when your lots keep shouting go and work..BTw how do you know he is not working..he made a very good assertion that it is never easy making this money which is true especially in this Nigeria.

Am amazed how you guys think someone making 100-200k monthly as salary is he not working ...what do you want him to do again ..kill himself. Most of you are into crime that fetches you illicit wealth..cos when you hear go and hustle what they are saying is beyond normal legit hustling cos nobody (responsible adult) will fold his hands and allow hunger to kill him.

Stop pushing people to do the undo or things way beyond thier league or meeting societal expectation.

The topic raised is worthy of reasonable/logical debate

E be like you're one of those people that believes in free money. Otherwise, where in the OP's post did you see anything about someone earning 100-200k being classified as not working? Even the Holy Book says it that a man who does not not work should not eat. So cut this "we are pushing you to do the undo......" crap and get to work.

I am not into any illicit crime oga!
I work two jobs, one regular, and the other part-time. Between both jobs, I clock an average of 125 hours bi-weekly. That is the hustle. But you have a choice, either work or don't.
Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by Macmilla(m): 11:19pm On May 26
essentialone:


2 broke people
One is struggling to break out of poverty and the other one is waiting for the first one to make it so she will claim she was there for him while he was struggling,
But my question to you my sister,
Are you forbidden from working so hard to escape poverty.
Men
She is still with you because you are her best option, there is nothing like being loyal.
I will treat a woman that stand by me very well as long as she wasn't abusive during my struggling period and claim she was doing me a favour by dating me, secondly if she is not having entitlement mentality, then I will treat her like a queen which she is.
Women choose their partners the way an employer chooses his employees. Nobody employs you because they love you. Nobody employs you because they care about you. Nobody employs you because they are loyal to you. Nobody employs you because they want to help you. You are only employed if you can make the business better. You are only employed if you have something tangible to contribute to the business. You are employed on the expectation that you will make money for the business. That is exactly how women choose their partners. And like Chris Rock said, only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. Men are loved only on the condition that they provide.
But men? Men just want respect, appreciation, peace of mind and good pucy.

2 Likes

Re: All My Childhood Friends Who Are Married Are Now Shadows Of Themselves. by DonroxyII: 10:28am On May 27
squash47:
You have quite a handful of unfortunate friends. Come here and see how married men are looking sharp. Those your friends are bad examples.
He only think he is looking Good compared to his friends ...

he is not looking good himself Compared to Looking good...

Bunch of village Boys grin ... What do you expect from Village People ...

Village is where you see Poverty & Humanities in A Romantic Relationship... if you don't have the heart, You will bleed for the lifestyle!

1 Like

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