Pecoleee345:


Like they make it look like the man is just a log of wood during those period doing nothing and not dropping a single kobo.

That 2022 I paid the house rent and was still dropping whatever I see but due to the fact she was the one dropping the lion share.....I was lazy and not ready to work.

Her started telling she was tired and complaining like this.......Men I went through depression.

This was a woman a married jobless and can't even boost of 100k in her account then.
The business she runs i set it up for her.

Things change last year and table has turned......now that same woman now expects me to give her money freely and help her family members....lol

She herself no the love I have for her is now 20% and she always blaming the devil for her behaviors but for me I can only labor on my kids.

Exactly bro... May God help all the struggling men out there

Magicalsineros:
But her write up is so clear that anyone can read and understand. Stop making her feel she's the one at fault. Many of you use your personal life and personal behavior to judge other people in public. That's wrong.

Well am too grown to know people lie and write to favor themselves.

There are three side to a story......only intelligent people know that.


Na today.

Pecoleee345:


Bro I was a victim of this situation myself in 2022.....my business went bad and I was on a low.

My wife was carrying the house and that experience made me realize we men are just useless without money to be people we labor for.

What was the dynamics of the marriage when you had money?

Was there strict gender roles I.e. you provide while she is in charge of the home front?

bukatyne:


What was the dynamics of the marriage when you had money?

Was there strict gender roles I.e. you provide while she is in charge of the home front?

What is the normal dynamic in almost all Nigeria marriage?? Men should be the breadwinner and provider...if he fails to do that he useless and lazy.
That the dynamic of marriage in Nigeria/Africa

Y"all call us broke and lazy still yet 95% of home men are still one the providing.

You women are naturally stingy and whatever you spend you expend ×2 in return.


Strict gender roles .........I clean my house, I wash dishes and do laundries.
Y"all just try to find excuses to justify your Bleep up

Pecoleee345:


Like they make it look like the man is just a log of wood during those period doing nothing and not dropping a single kobo.

That 2022 I paid the house rent and was still dropping whatever I see but due to the fact she was the one dropping the lion share.....I was lazy and not ready to work.

She started telling people she was tired and complaining like this.......Men I went through depression.

This was a woman i married jobless and can't even boost of 100k in her account then.
The business she runs i set it up for her.

Things change last year and table has turned......now that same woman now expects me to give her money freely and help her family members....lol

She herself no the love I have for her is now 20% and she always blaming the devil for her behaviors but for me I can only labor on my kids.

Pele.....u don see the other side of life ooo

..some women and men too..so make i nor dey one sided, are not fit for marriage but too bad that men have made big yansh and bréast the criteria for marriage

.....for me oo...it's necessary to consciously lookout for kindness in a woman during dating stage....it always shows unless u are not observant..

Woman wey una dey date wey no dey ever buy anything when she dey come ur side for visit..always collect uber money when going and coming....haa

..woman wey u go tell make she buy 5k things on her way to spend weekend ..wey go dey ask u for the money before una go sleep on the first day she arrive, and even after i help am fix her iphone X screen wey break the following week

Babe wey come my side before I close for office...call me say no light...I say make she buy fuel, werey by 3k fuel, nearly use am watch Africa magic and zee world finish, still dey ask me for ordinary 3k.....

The signs are always there when dealing with these women....a kind woman who is a team player from start will not treat her own partner like trash just because things no level up for some period



when dating most of them marry with mind set of not doing anything and also compare their life to other women their husband is very rich...

Small team playing spirit no dey their body....

Pecoleee345:


What is the normal dynamic in almost all Nigeria marriage?? Men should be the breadwinner and provider...if he fails to do that he useless and lazy.
That the dynamic of marriage in Nigeria/Africa

Y"all call us broke and lazy still yet 95% of home men are still one the providing.

You women are naturally stingy and whatever you spend you expend ×2 in return.


Strict gender roles .........I clean my house, I wash dishes and do laundries.
Y"all just try to find excuses to justify your Bleep up

Now, I know where the bitterness is coming from.
You're actually transferring the sentiment you have for your wife on the @op. Too bad.

Why don't you divorce your wife? What's the point of holding on when you're still hurting?

advanceDNA:


Pele.....u don see the other side of life ooo

..some women and men too..so make i nor dey one sided, are not fit for marriage but too bad that men have made big yansh and bréast the criteria for marriage

.....for me oo...it's necessary to consciously lookout for kindness in a woman during dating stage....it always shows unless u are not observant..

Woman wey una dey date wey no dey ever buy anything when she dey come ur side for visit..always collect uber money when going and coming....haa

..woman wey u go tell make she buy 5k things on her way to spend weekend ..wey go dey ask u for the money before una go sleep on the first day she arrive, and even after i help am fix her iphone X screen wey break the following week

Babe wey come my side before I close for office...call me say no light...I say make she buy fuel, werey by 3k fuel, nearly use am watch Africa magic and zee world finish, still dey ask me for ordinary 3k.....

The signs are always there when dealing with these women....a kind woman who is a team player from start will not treat her own partner like trash just because things no level up for some period



when dating most of them marry with mind set of not doing anything and also compare their life to other women their husband is very rich...

Small team playing spirit no dey their body....

I don't think you are married ?? Hence you don't know how bad people can pretend.

One thing have learnt over time is people change and you can't truly know what you can do until you find yourself in some certain situations.

Women are naturally stingy and not natural givers....they see there giving as an investment.

Whatever she giving or doing during dating stage is an investment to her.........relationship and marriage is two different ball game.
Most women change mostly in marriage after having the first child and most bad behavior show when the man is down.

It is just a mindset.......they just feel whatever they lack is there husband fault and the society supports them.
Only few see things differently.


Lastly in every relationship that leads to marriage there is always hidden motives.......Love is never the only reason.

Pecoleee345:


I don't think you are married ?? Hence you don't know how bad people can pretend.

One thing have learnt over time is people change and you can't truly know what you can do until you find yourself in some certain situations.

Women are naturally stingy and not natural givers....they see there giving as an investment.

Whatever she giving or doing during dating stage is an investment to her.........relationship and marriage is two different ball game.
Most women change mostly in marriage after having the first child and most bad behavior show when the man is down.

It is just a mindset.......they just feel whatever they lack is there husband fault and the society supports them.
Only few see things differently.


Lastly in every relationship that leads to marriage there is always hidden motives.......Love is never the only reason.

I never mentioned love...don't know why u mentioned it....
Na the few u go look out for....kindness is a trait...u cannot consistently fake it.....it's either u have it or u dont....

Magicalsineros:
Now, I know where the bitterness is coming from.
You're actually transferring the sentiment you have for your wife on the @op. Too bad.

Why don't you divorce your wife? What's the point of holding on when you're still hurting?

Bitterness........lol

Once again only unintelligent people believe one side of a story without asking questions.


I didn't open threads to complain about my wife cos am not hurt and will never be hurt.
Till we die people we love will always hurt us and that a fact.

For the past 3yrs the man nevee dropped a single kobo or not contributed to the house upkeep?? She should tell me that true.


This isn't sentiment but just stating fact..........whatever you women lack is your husband fault is a shitty mentality.

Lovecode89:
I'm just worried and tired. He don't want to take up small job either. So many private school around us, I have encouraged him severally to pick up a teaching job, but he kept on complaining on the small salary.
He prefer to be relaxing at home than trying little thing. Is this a character of a man that loves his wife and child?

Then talk to his mom and don't pressure him to do regrettable things

advanceDNA:

I never mentioned love...don't know why u mentioned it....
Na the few u go look out for....kindness is a trait...u cannot consistently fake it.....it's either u have it or u dont....

So cos someone is kind that would stop them from complaining or thrash talk you??

Would her Kindness make her stay when you down financially and not complain /nagg your soul out??

Kindness self get limit.....never forget that

Magicalsineros:
Stop defending inresponsibilty.
There's a great difference between someone who loss his job and making effort to do any little thing to support his family.
The next guy wouldn't be that way. Because he will put on effort to keep her. If that's what you're trying to hear.

single ladies always rushing to throw in advice into people's homes.

Better close your wide mouth

Pecoleee345:


Bitterness........lol

Once again only unintelligent people believe in one side of a story without asking questions.


I didn't open threads to complain about my wife cos am not hurt and will never be hurt.
Till we die people we love will always hurt us and that a fact.

For the past 3yrs the man nevee dropped a single kobo or not contributed to the house upkeep.


This isn't sentiment but just stating fact..........whatever you women lack is your husband fault is a shitty mentality.

But for someone to come on a public forum to pour her heart, it shows she's been wearing a hurtful shoe for a long time and probably tired

Magicalsineros:
But for someone to come on a public forum to pour her heart, it shows she's been wearing a hurtful shoe for a long time and probably tired

Babe is normal to be hurtful and tired......Marriage isn't a sprint but a marathon.

What am saying is if she can't take it anymore she can walk out if he is a lazy man and see if single parenting is easy.

The choice is all hers to make.....complaining and thrash talking him isn't the solution.


There more lazy women then men but you won't see us actually complain about that

You mean for the past three years, your husband has been home doing nothing? Not even small farming? Take up driving job or anything?

Well, stop doing too much. As a married man, it is my responsibility to take care of my home.

Lol even during annual leave, I found it weird staying home all day, weeks doing nothing even though salary is coming in steadily. I mostly do drop and take up some delivery jobs.

Just see yourself as a single mum. Normally, a single mum will hustle to pay her rent, clothes and feed her kids right?

If you have the means of providing food for him, keep doing that. Anything personal needs of his, don't attend to it. Your focus should be on your children. The truth is, the more you keep complaining, the more bitter you become.

Don't stop having sex with him. He paid your dowry right? You own him that!

Marriage is not easy, it requires hardwork from both parties.

Will I get marry in my next life? No please even though my wife is not an headache but mehnn.

Pecoleee345:


Bro I was a victim of this situation myself in 2022.....my business went bad and I was on a low.

My wife was carrying the house and that experience made me realize we men are just useless without money to be people we labor for.

Thank God you noticed earlier. Nigerian women have so much monetized affection. It is only for better they understand, if your situation gets bad even for a couple of weeks, they're going to tell you how useless you are. Marriage that is supposed to be a symbiotic partnership has been turned to a parasitic relationship.

I hope men are planning well for their retirement and old age. Whatever you faced in the house will be childsplay compared to what any man will face as a poor old man. The family and relatives he spends all his earnings to take care of will abandon him and say he didn't plan his life well and wasted his youth.

I pity those who use exorbitant money to open businesses for their wives and spend too much on the kids without any plan for themselves. Let her go and look for a job. You're going to hear a lot of bad things like what the Op is saying if a situation arises when she ever needs to feed you from the business. Instead for paying 1.5m in school fees for three children, find a good 300k school and save the remaining 1.2m towards a pension fund/ good stock or buy a piece of land in a remote area. Your ten 1.2m plots of land you bought in 10 consecutive years will be worth much more in 20-30 years time.

Don't be the father or husband they'll consider a liability and be hoping he dies soon enough.

Btw, my advice for the Op is to divorce him. It saves both of you headache. I can imagine the many troubles/words the man has had to endure. And when the next one is in a bad financial situation too, divorce him too.

condensedmilk:


single ladies always rushing to throw in advice into people's homes.

Better close your wide mouth

Where are there?

Pecoleee345:


So cos someone is kind that would stop them from complaining or thrash talk you??

Would her Kindness make her stay when you down financially and not complain /nagg your soul out??

Kindness self get limit.....never forget that

A truly kind person will help even those she doesn't know repeatedly....let alone her own husband that has been caring for her before job loss....

I have seen women help their husband during trying times without any noise...na the guy even come talk am by himself say na the wife dey do this and that...yes they are not common..and It's not mere love..its a team playing mentality rooted in kindness



This ur woman don give u PTSD......


Baba....U go dey alright...

SINisSIN:
You mean for the past three years, your husband has been home doing nothing? Not even small farming? Take up driving job or anything?

Well, stop doing too much. As a married man, it is my responsibility to take care of my home.

Lol even during annual leave, I found it weird staying home all day, weeks doing nothing even though salary is coming in steadily. I mostly do drop and take up some delivery jobs.

Just see yourself as a single mum. Normally, a single mum will hustle to pay her rent, clothes and feed her kids right?

If you have the means of providing food for him, keep doing that. Anything personal needs of his, don't attend to it. Your focus should be on your children. The truth is, the more you keep complaining, the more bitter you become.

Don't stop having sex with him. He paid your dowry right? You own him that!

Marriage is not easy, it requires hardwork from both parties.

Will I get marry in my next life? No please even though my wife is not an headache but mehnn.

Your point of view is awesome, but the bolded. No. That should be based on her feelings and consent. No woman wants to have se.x with a husband who abused her emotionally.
You have to treat a woman right before she can willingly open up herself to you. Be yee her husband or her boyfriend.

Magicalsineros:
Where are there?

sister delicate body, please get your own home

Magicalsineros:
Your point of view is awesome, but the bolded. No. That should be based on her feelings and consent. No woman wants to have se.x with a husband who abused her emotionally.
You have to treat a woman right before she can willingly open up herself to you. Be yee her husband or her boyfriend.

That's the problem with many women.

They feel sex should be only be done when they feel like it. The man's need are inconsequential. Later they'll turn around to accuse men of sexual indiscipline.

If a wife doesn't want to have sex, that's fine and she should not be forced. But I see no reason why a 'hardworking man' should not have sex whenever he wants. Not even in this Nigeria where pussy is abundant.

advanceDNA:

A truly kind person will help even those she doesn't know repeatedly....let alone her own husband that has been caring for her before job loss....

I have seen women help their husband during trying times without any noise...na the guy even come talk am by himself say na the wife dey do this and that...yes they are not common..and It's not mere love..its a team playing mentality rooted in kindness



This ur woman don give u PTSD......


Baba....U go dey alright...

PTSD....LOL...... you are just cooking things up in your head.
She is even beside me as I type.

What Op is doing isn't a bad thing............is just the thrash talking am against.

Isnt only lack finance that makes one complain in marriage, there are several aspects of marriage.


Once again until you are married you won't understand.

No. She didn't narrate her husband is abusing her emotionally or otherwise. She is emotionally bitter because the husband is jobless and not meeting up to his responsibilities.

Trust me if the husband gets a job tmwr now, and start doing his responsibilities financially, all these her bitterness will disappear. Infact, these same sex she is depriving him, she will still be one begging him.

Women that are financially capable and not struggling will hardly come out ranting about their husband jobless because they have enough resources so the man himself is not a burden to them financially just be answering them when they need sex.

This lady is a struggling woman maybe with a meagre salary hence the ranting and bitterness.

3 years is a long years to find a bearing expect of course cases of village people matter.

Back to your "NO", you people do have sex with your jobless boyfriends so what is stopping her with her husband that married her legally?

Magicalsineros:
Your point of view is awesome, but the bolded. No. That should be based on her feelings and consent. No woman wants to have se.x with a husband who abused her emotionally.
You have to treat a woman right before she can willingly open up herself to you. Be yee her husband or her boyfriend.

Pecoleee345:


PTSD....LOL...... you are just cooking things up in your head.
She is even beside me as I type.

What Op is doing isn't a bad thing............is just the thrash talking am against.

Isnt only lack finance that makes one complain in marriage, there are several aspects of marriage.


Once again until you are married you won't understand.

I have to be married before I will have common sense??...guy u are funny....

Make we dead the issue...

Pecoleee345:


Like they make it look like the man is just a log of wood during those period doing nothing and not dropping a single kobo.

That 2022 I paid the house rent and was still dropping whatever I see but due to the fact she was the one dropping the lion share.....I was lazy and not ready to work.

She started telling people she was tired and complaining like this.......Men I went through depression.

This was a woman i married jobless and can't even boost of 100k in her account then.
The business she runs i set it up for her.

Things change last year and table has turned......now that same woman now expects me to give her money freely and help her family members....lol

She herself no the love I have for her is now 20% and she always blaming the devil for her behaviors but for me I can only labor on my kids.

20% love for your wife, that's way too small naa. Who come get the remaining 80%

Mille:


That's the problem with many women.

They feel sex should be only be done when they feel like it. The man's need are inconsequential. Later they'll turn around to accuse men of sexual indiscipline.

If a wife doesn't want to have sex, that's fine and she should not be forced. But I see no reason why [b]a 'hardworking man' [/b]should not have sex whenever he wants. Not even in this Nigeria where pussy is abundant.

Thank God you said a hard working man. Not a sit at home man doing nothing.

Pecoleee345:


PTSD....LOL...... you are just cooking things up in your head.
She is even beside me as I type.

What Op is doing isn't a bad thing............is just the thrash talking am against.

Isnt only lack finance that makes one complain in marriage, there are several aspects of marriage.


Once again until you are married you won't understand.

You're excited when faceless people even call her name. God.
I feel sorry for the kind of man she got married to.

condensedmilk:


Then [b]talk to his mom [/b]and don't pressure him to do regrettable things

So that the poor woman will do what? What kind of mindset do many of you have?

Pecoleee345:


I don't think you are married ?? Hence you don't know how bad people can pretend.

One thing have learnt over time is people change and you can't truly know what you can do until you find yourself in some certain situations.

Women are naturally stingy and not natural givers....they see there giving as an investment.

Whatever she giving or doing during dating stage is an investment to her.........relationship and marriage is two different ball game.
Most women change mostly in marriage after having the first child and most bad behavior show when the man is down.

It is just a mindset.......they just feel whatever they lack is there husband fault and the society supports them.
Only few see things differently.


Lastly in every relationship that leads to marriage there is always hidden motives.......Love is never the only reason.

Hmm!
From the man?

SINisSIN:
No. She didn't narrate her husband is abusing her emotionally or otherwise. She is emotionally bitter because the husband is jobless and not meeting up to his responsibilities.

Trust me if the husband gets a job tmwr now, and start doing his responsibilities financially, all these her bitterness will disappear. Infact, these same sex she is depriving him, she will still be one begging him.

Women that are financially capable and not struggling will hardly come out ranting about their husband jobless because they have enough resources so the man himself is not a burden to them financially just be answering them when they need sex.

This lady is a struggling woman maybe with a meagre salary hence the ranting and bitterness.

3 years is a long years to find a bearing expect of course cases of village people matter.

Back to your "NO", you people do have sex with your jobless boyfriends so what is stopping her with her husband that married her legally?

There's a great difference between a husband and boyfriend.

Magicalsineros:
Why would a woman give her body to a man who can not shield her when responsibility set in? A man who knows how to get erection, have se.x, must be able to take care of responsibility that comes with it. A woman's body is very delicate and should be explored by only a man that value and treat her well

You really be olosho

Messina123:


You really be olosho

Bitter truth. Many of you don't want to hear.
That was how one jobless man left his pregnant wife in an operation room. All because he couldn't afford the bills leaving the woman there to source herself out. Thank God for the medical team that came to her rescue. So many women have lost their life all because they keep giving their body to men who can not save them in critical condition. Shame