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Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by Ningishzida: 8:08pm On Jun 14 |
Warning: This is not your usual thread where the Poster starts showing you how beautiful Europe is with the hope that they will be contacted for travel assistance. TL:DR; As a African Man living in diaspora, try as much as you can to avoid Groups where you will be the only African Person in that Group, if being part of such a group will not put food on your Table at this very moment or in the near future. After Living in Vietnam, Turkey, Poland, Germany and now in Canada, initially as a Student and now as a Skilled Worker, I decided to share a rarely talked about reality of living as an African guy in a foreign Country where the majority are non-Blacks. It is this Unspoken Reality of "Special Group Isolation" that every other Race of Humans instinctively falls into when they are in a group where there is just one African Guy. Speaking as a Programmer, this behaviour plays out every single time as if it were a code programmed into every other Race of people as an automatic response to when they are in a Group with a Single African Man. I can't speak for the African Women because I don't have their experiences. Why do I call it "Special Group Isolation"? I will try to explain it as much as I can using texts, although a lot of it appears through body Languages and tiny bits of subtle Cues which are difficult to really detail in writings. As a African Guy, at some point you are bound to find yourself in a Group where you are the only African in that Group. For example; 1. Living in a Shared Student Apartment, 2. Participating in a Student Project Group, 3. Being in a Workplace where you have to work in a Group Task, 4. Being part of a fun Activity that is a Group thing You get it? Now here is how this "Special Group Isolation" plays out. Lets say you are a Student. You've been assigned to work in a class team project in a Team consisting of 5 People. In your Team, you have: You, Mr India from India, Mr Arab from Morocco, Mr Caucasian From Australia, Mr Asian from China Here is a picture of what you'd likely experience. • At first everyone gets to know each other. • Then Mr India and Mr Arab will become very chatty with Mr Caucasian(who would simply be acknowledging their chattiness) to feed his Ego. • Mr China would also be part of the Conversation and would likely be the only one who takes time to Honestly respond or talk with you. •Overtime, Mr China would realize that Mr Arab, Mr India and Mr Caucasian have formed a sort of Clique with an unspoken Rule of putting down any Contribution to the Teamwork coming from you, and also holding their own separate meetings outside of the Group where they wont invite you. He can also see that by being close to you, he is gradually also being isolated by the Trio of Mr Arab, Mr India and Mr Caucasian, therefore he'll space away from you so that he can be accepted by the 'Majority'. • At this point, the Group will make it a point to only discuss the Teamwork with reference to what they discussed during those meetings where you were not invited. This way, you would be relegated to an inconsequential member of the Team. The best case scenario would be you questioning them about why they held meetings without your knowledge in a Project that was supposed to be a Team Project, and they responding that it wasn't really a Meeting, but a coincidence that they happened to meet while you were not there. But this is a best case scenario. Most times, worse would happen. I have found myself in this scenario lots of times, but since I upgraded my skills to a point where I get job offers without even applying, I just walk away from any Job where this "Special Group Isolation" starts playing out. Unfortunately, a lot of my African brothers in Diaspora have no Skills. Some have Skills but zero self-esteem. The moment they get the Special Group Isolation Treatment, I always see them throw away their dignity and start acting submissive, putting on super Smiley Faces in a begging attempt to be accepted because their livelihood depends on being accepted by other Groups of People. This is why I advice my friends to get a good Skill before leaving Nigeria, or sacrifice the initial Years of landing Abroad to doing so. Because in the presence of an African Man, every other Race sees themselves as one and automatically Unite to suppress you when they know you dont have a Choice. This has always been the Case(Remember how the Persians, Greeks and Arabs united to bring down Kemet AKA Ancient Egypt un the year 525 BCE?). And this will always be the Case as long as we Africans chose to remain dumb to the reality of how other Group of people are united against us. 19 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by condensedmilk: 9:03pm On Jun 14 |
My brother it takes the grace of God to absorb those horrific experiences 1 Like |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by tensazangetsu20(m): 9:36pm On Jun 14 |
Stupid post ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by Didijiji: 9:44pm On Jun 14 |
tensazangetsu20:you are stupider 6 Likes |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by tensazangetsu20(m): 9:45pm On Jun 14 |
Didijiji: You are the most stupid. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by Nebes: 1:47am On Jun 15 |
Some people who have never left Nigeria might come to insult this post. 6 Likes |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by SilaV: 5:51am On Jun 15 |
Ningishzida: God bless you mightily for this post. I can 100% relate. The reason is I have also been there! That is the exact case scenario. I think the best country for the black is still the U.S. Yes, people do talk about police brutality and racism, but Canada is worse. The Indians, Arabs, Caucasians, and Chinese often treat the 'only African guy' as a piece of shit( inconsequential) either in the workplace or at school (if in the same project group). People pretend this is not happening; I don't know why. I even wanted to open a thread regarding this topic a few months back but chose to exercise restraint. The treatment 'the only African guy' in the workplace receives from Indians, Arabs, and Caucasians is very distasteful, which can lead to mental health or loss of self-esteem. I repeat Canada is the worst country concerning silent and systemic racism against the black. People who don't know might want to argue, but that is true. My one cents to any black dude living in Canada is twofold: (1) get the right skill sets so that you can have the choice to negotiate which organization you want to work for. This means you have the choice to pick because you have the skill sets. Hence, you can quit immediately if you sense any of this puts 'him in the circle syndrome'. Also, it's good to ask the 'diversity' question during your interview, with specific attention to the percentage of Africans ( or blacks). (2) Get your Canadian citizenship and port to the USA with a TN Visa. I repeat, the USA is by far a better country for Africans than Canada career-wise to a black African. Sometimes, Africans don't know that the presence of Black Americans in the USA is indeed a very big blessing to them. I do laugh at the way smart African- Americans talk down on their Black American Cousins regarding their behaviour in general ( the way they sag, dress, etc). Trust me, if these black Americans were in Canada( based on their population and their aggressive, 'don't try shit with me behaviour'), the likes of the Indians, Chinese and even the Caucasians would be forced to behave. 14 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by OkanlawonB(m): 7:05am On Jun 15 |
The challenges of modern day slavery, neocolonialism and self enslavement. You got what you bargained for. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by Houseofglam7(f): 7:09am On Jun 15 |
😫 |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by finallybusy: 3:57pm On Jun 15 |
I did not read. |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by Deeegbee: 10:03pm On Jun 15 |
Great thread, this happens a lot in the West. For some like me who is bold and outspoken because I fear nobody except God, my parents and a man with a GUN lol, you bring the racism bias to my doorstep especially in the Workplace. I immediately give you a stern warning straight up and give you reasons why you should not throw shit to me. I do make them understand I don’t belong to the categories of other Africans like the (Somalians and Ethiopians) as they often treat them like a piece of shit. This method has worked for me as they tend to be very scared, they later choose to be friends and accord me respect thereafter. I do advise my African brothers to be confident of themselves, be outspoken and they should always exercise their right no matter what! DisGuy front page material 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by Cousin9999: 3:54am On Jun 16 |
Deeegbee: Bro, I would love to see the look on their faces when you step to them. ![]() |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by Originalsly: 11:35am On Jun 16 |
I do agree 100% with the poster. This is the subtle racism we hear about but many don't see and be shouting there is no racism again. Many of us are just proud to be the only Black ... seeing ourselves as better ... in the category and status of 'others" ... above ordinary "niggas" ... never mind they are sidelined by their coworkers ... but yet are highly offended when accused of having inferiority complex ... or being an ass licker. I have experienced same ... but know my rights ... familiar with the laws governing such behaviors and the legal actions that can be taken against individuals or employer. One should stand up from jump ... not be submissive because it will only get worse. Management will soon label you a "troublemaker" ... my present title ... and will begin seeking reasons for termination. But it comes back to knowing the laws that protect you from discrimination and retaliation. You must know the laws that protect you... and fight your fight within that space . Japa crew .... be prepared ... OP laying it out as it is... real talk. I didn't come for that ... I came to work... receive my money ... and go home ... not here to make trouble. Asslicker. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by pansophist(m): 9:00pm On Jun 16 |
For those who don't understand what the OP is saying, let me put in another way. There is racial hierarchy the world is built upon, and most Africans who haven't left Africa don't know about it. Ngozi Chimamanda spoke about being aware she is black after she left Nigeria. She never knew it was a thing. You might not know about it, but the world will show you where they think you belong, and it can be dehumanizing if you don't know how to navigate these terrains. It's like how a bank manager may single out a millionaire standing in the queue, even if you all are customers. Or in a church, the big boys hang out with themselves, forming cliques. You never thought your poverty could be used against you, after all, you didn't bother anyone with it. it's the same for race. I am black, but I didn't trouble you with my blackness, so why this treatment? The best way to navigate such a scenario is not to play. You can only lose if you play. Just be in the group if you have to be there, but be mute, don't view their comments, mute the chat, and only respond and reply where it is NECESSARY. Don't exit the group, to avoid giving a wrong impression, but you need to operate overtly since they are also operating overtly. You act like you don't know their game, and when they hope to catch and beat you somewhere, you are not there. But make sure you are good at whatever you do, your competence is your redemption. Let them feel superior, or disenfranchise you from whatever, but when they are done operating in deceit, they will know deep down that you are good, and them no reach. 21 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by mrjojo: 9:23pm On Jun 16 |
pansophist:can you expatiate more on this please? with a scenario if possible, and how do you raise kids in this environment? if you as an adult is subtly made aware of your blackness, and it can sometimes be draining , how do you prepare your kids for this? and also been wealthy and physical attribute(height, fit, cute) can also be a "redemption " |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by Ojagun(m): 9:46pm On Jun 16 |
"Black man,you are alone"---Steve Biko "When will you blacks realize that in this world,you have no friends"---Seun Kuti 5 Likes |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by pansophist(m): 9:57pm On Jun 16 |
mrjojo: My experience with what the OP described was during my time as a student. During group work, and also during internships working with other interns. So from a professional setting, I don't have it, since I run my own business and have formulated my life in ways that those nonsense have no place in it. Then, we can all be in a group, but unbeknown to me, they share a subgroup where they do things without the awareness of those they deem undesirables. And it's also not clear-cut racial. Their so-called clique can have a minority in it, also referred to as ''token black person'', to give it a multiracial flare, but the token minority in the group is a beech in that group. He has to lose his self-respect to fit in. So you might also be facing disenfranchisement from the in-group black person, which may annoy you further because you may be expecting solidarity based on race. But mind you, the token person suffers, he just hides it. As for kids, it's mostly bullying, and the above doesn't apply, but Western schools are increasingly becoming accepting and multicultural, so black kids don't feel left behind, and in many cases, black kids are novelty, and the love of the town. It is not always a bad story. As for redemption based on physical attributes, it's a two-way thing. It can also be a source of jealousy. A short white racist guy will not treat you better because you are taller, instead, your presence will boost his insecurities. The only redemption is not to play like I said earlier, and operate from a position of strength. So do not need anything from them, and know your turf very well. Be smart as hell. After they finish fooling themselves with their cliques, they all know that you're a boss on your own, and you only relate with them out of courtesy, not necessity. 11 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by OkanlawonB(m): 10:41pm On Jun 16 |
It has little to do with being black, your level of Integration in a particular commmunity or society carries a lot of weight. A second generation african in a predominantly white european society may not see his/her colour as any impediment. The system that obtains in the host country also matters, for instance the trio countries of DE, AT, CH wiith their age long system of inclusiveness discourages all forms of discrimination and social stratifications while encouraging Integration. Discriminition is an integral part of humanity, a high level of self conciousness and self esteem is good formular against it. |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by RodgersAkpafu: 11:02pm On Jun 16 |
Ningishzida: This is a very interesting point of view to have, even though I would not agree totally with you 100% |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by RodgersAkpafu: 11:05pm On Jun 16 |
pansophist:I like your point of view |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by Deeegbee: 11:07pm On Jun 16 |
Cousin9999: Hahahaha Oyinbo dey always keep shut without uttering a single word!! Nah inferior complex dey kill African guys, nobody is inferior regardless of the colour of your skin. 1 Like |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by RodgersAkpafu: 11:11pm On Jun 16 |
tensazangetsu20: it's not so stupid oooo.... just not well articulated in my opinion I have been in that exact same situation in the past These freaking Indian fellows kissing Caucasian arse and antagonising me as the only black man in the "yard" there will be times when group things will be planned and I'll be explicitly excluded but I didn't care, I'm too old for these kind of gimmicks But what I'll say is..... I don't understand WHY the people I'll call, for the context of this conversation "wannabe whites" (Indians Persians, Arabs, etc) like to kiss arse and act all cozy and compliant to Caucasians while simultaneously antagonistic towards black folks in the white supremacist system, people who think like them in their groups are the ones really sustaining the system by their foolery of acting all cozy to white folks AND antagonistic towards black folks just an observation though 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by Deeegbee: 11:13pm On Jun 16 |
pansophist: Well said! Though, I won’t agree with the 3rd to the last paragraph to keep mute in a group. I feel you should always contribute so you can be heard of. One shouldn’t keep mute in a group task. You can even choose to take the Floor and lead as a Moderator if nobody was assigned. Your last paragraph says it all, be competent in what you do. They can’t beat you at what you know. |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by RodgersAkpafu: 11:13pm On Jun 16 |
Nebes:will you blame them? there are things better experienced 1 Like |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by tensazangetsu20(m): 11:14pm On Jun 16 |
RodgersAkpafu: Honestly I feel the best thing for an individual is to offer value. Have money o. Money greatly reduces disrespect especially as a black man. Everywhere in the world, a black man is expected to be poor and not doing well. It's up to you to break that stereotype for yourself 3 Likes |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by RodgersAkpafu: 11:18pm On Jun 16 |
tensazangetsu20: lemme modify what you said the best thing is to have a THRIVING COMMUNITY This is what we don't have as African folks (cos we think too much bout self) and that's why we part suffer. If we have a proper community that we can draw energy and support from, the bad treatments will reduce drastically If you are the only "successful" black man in the yard, your life will be a living hell.... but a bunch of successful black men in the horizon? who can pool resources and support? that's unbeatable But will UK ppl hear ? our own na to dey do corner corner and "strong face" upandan 1 Like |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by tensazangetsu20(m): 11:21pm On Jun 16 |
RodgersAkpafu: Here in Chile the few blacks are from Haiti and most are very poor and uneducated. You even enter some places in Chile as a black man and everyone is staring at you like a zombie lol. I get money pass their papa sha so that nonsense no fit reach my side. ![]() ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by RodgersAkpafu: 11:22pm On Jun 16 |
OkanlawonB:but we are first gen thats the issue |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by RodgersAkpafu: 11:25pm On Jun 16 |
tensazangetsu20:I understand but the above is the mistake WE make as black folks Once we think that we are popping, then we think we are insulated. Here in the UK, if you are the only black affluent in an upscale neighbourhood, you will hate your existence in that place some people feel like it's a flex, but when they start isolating you and passively aggressive towards you, the scales fall off.... BTW it's good to see you are doing well in Chile 1 Like |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by tensazangetsu20(m): 11:34pm On Jun 16 |
RodgersAkpafu: True but money goes a long way to stop disrespect a very long way also most black people aren't goal getters in anyway so hoping that the whole group is prosperous is never gonna happen. The best thing is to fight for your own self 1 Like |
Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by MatrixReloaded: 5:13am On Jun 17 |
tensazangetsu20:Stupid post by a lonely fellow Wilding in Mountain ⛰️ and rooftop of unknown location where no embassy, where heat and suffocation have relegated him to. Last time he took a picture of one sachet of Milo not Can, and one loaf of bread. Hunger is no man brother. Ebi mpa wa o is really messing him up couple with no gf, no wife, no kids, and no good salary. Poor in mind, poor in cash and poor in spirit. Take a look at what someone that earns well buy. Local fowl. When last u bath properly and Rob creame, COW dey chop bread 🍞. You fit don lin finish 1 Like 1 Share
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Re: Before You Travel Abroad As An African Man by Gerrard59(m): 6:14am On Jun 17 |
RodgersAkpafu: I am curious, what do you recommend in such a situation? Live amongst blacks? Chile or where I am is a different place as there are very few blacks. But for me, there is a reason I left Nigeria. Going to live in a place with many Nigerians get as be e. If I want to live amongst Nigerians, I will do so in Nigeria. I read your previous comment about Nigerians/blacks in the UK. I no understand, up till now, that group of people never build economic wealth. How else do you wish this wealth to be built? In all, the OP did make sense and the best response is providing value. Nothing else. No one likes the black man. E don tey I realise am: https://www.nairaland.com/5886610/racism-against-blacks-reduce-drastically If blacks want comfort, the answer remains to build sub-Saharan Africa and make it prosperous. Anything else is big grammar to me. 5 Likes |
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