I'm in my late 20s and I've been doing some pretty serious calculations lately and I figured out that birthing your kids as a man in your late 20s is super beneficial but the issue here is the bad Economy that a lot of us face in our late 20s e.g paying lots of bills , settling family members , Etc


When you have a child lets say at age 27 or 28 when your 37 or 38 your child is 10 years , when your 47 or 48 your child is 20 years , now at age 20 your child is almost done with their first degree , which is super beneficial as supposed to having a kid when your 35 or 36 And this age some men aren't even financially secured enough to raise a family considering the Economic situation of the country.

Everyone desires for their kids to take care of them at old age , now imagine you are 60 years and your first child is still 15 years old. That jeopardizing the kid's future. Cause at age 60 your ability to work reduces significantly.

I would so much love to birth my kids now due to the old age thing but Providing for a child in this economy isn't that easy , I mean you want to be able to give them a great education and good life at early stages of their Life which can be very very hard in today's economy.

Nland fathers in the house please how were you guys able to navigate your way past all these money calculations and birth your kids early in your late 20s , please fathers in the house I need your wise counselling on this matter. I don't want to be old before I start having children. Thanks in advance.

Early marriage is the best. But marrying late and right is better than marrying early and wrong.

If you are financially capable to have a family now, go ahead.

But don't birth children that will hawk on streets. If you don't have the financial capacity now, be patient. After all, life is not about how soon but how well.

Some marry and procreate early but their children attain the age of 40 before becoming successful. Some marry early but remain barren for many years. Some marry early, procreate early but die young and leave the kids to suffer. Some marry late and their children break through before the age of 30. Therefore, don't decide marriage based on your age. Decide marriage based on your readiness.

What if u give birth early and your kids do as planned but "refuse to take care of you at old age"? Or he/ she even kills u.?

You berra calm down.


https://www.nairaland.com/8143786/28-year-old-son-kills-father-anglican

Hmmm! Face the economy and win first before talking about marriage.

Avoid marriage if you don't have the financial resources yet.

Forget those people telling you early marriage is the best story. You're a man, not a woman whose time is running.

Dude, settle down and make this money first before talking about marriage, and most importantly when the time comes go for a white woman and secure your future.

Before considering of settling down, you need to be financial stable.

I am not saying you must have billions of naira to be financial stable oo but at least be financial independent

this issue of having a child late or early all depends on the individual and their lifestyle...
there are many questions that needs to be answered:
- 1st and foremost why do you want to have children? to give life, have a family OR simply to have someone to take care of you in old age?
- 2nd you do understand that you may have a child that will be useless to you when you are old...aka a child with down syndrom or blind or handicapped. are you saying that such child would be a waste of life because they wont be able to support you in old age?
3rd do you actually believe that its a childs duty to take care of his parents during old age? wouldnt that child have their own family and struggles to take care of?
- 4th shouldnt it simply be: A MAN SHOULD ONLY HAVE A CHILD/CHILDREN WHEN HE IS EMOTIONLLY/PHYSICALLY/FINANCIALLY READY TO SUPPORT A FAMILY FOR THE NEXT 18YRS?

I will advise u to take advise of the wise men above me especially capt. A!

MikeofKd:
I'm in my late 20s and I've been doing some pretty serious calculations lately and I figured out that birthing your kids as a man in your late 20s is super beneficial but the issue here is the bad Economy that a lot of us face in our late 20s e.g paying lots of bills , settling family members , Etc


When you have a child lets say at age 27 or 28 when your 37 or 38 your child is 10 years , when your 47 or 48 your child is 20 years , now at age 20 your child is almost done with their first degree , which is super beneficial as supposed to having a kid when your 35 or 36 And this age some men aren't even financially secured enough to raise a family considering the Economic situation of the country.

Everyone desires for their kids to take care of them at old age , now imagine you are 60 years and your first child is still 15 years old. That jeopardizing the kid's future. Cause at age 60 your ability to work reduces significantly.

I would so much love to birth my kids now due to the old age thing but Providing for a child in this economy isn't that easy , I mean you want to be able to give them a great education and good life at early stages of their Life which can be very very hard in today's economy.

Nland fathers in the house please how were you guys able to navigate your way past all these money calculations and birth your kids early in your late 20s , please fathers in the house I need your wise counselling on this matter. I don't want to be old before I start having children. Thanks in advance.

How is it beneficial?

Just say you want to keep woman at home.

If you start birthing at. 27, your kids will be in their 20s by the time you are at least 55 and they will leave you.

Karleb:


How is it beneficial?

Just say you want to keep woman at home.

If you start birthing at. 27, your kids will be in their 20s by the time you are at least 55 and they will leave you.

Everyone sees life differently I guess. If u don't agree its beneficial , well it's best known to u.

But for me , being old and still paying your children's school fees or what not just cus u had them at an older age isn't so ideal to me.

MikeofKd:



Everyone sees life differently I guess. If u don't agree its beneficial , well it's best known to u.

But for me , being old and still paying your children's school fees or what not just cus u had them at an older age isn't so ideal to me.

What if you marry at 25 and have your last born at 40.

Won't you pay his/her school fees when you are 60.

All these pressure your are creating for yourself is not real. They don't give "who first born" trophy.

MikeofKd:
Nland fathers in the house please how were you guys able to navigate your way past all these money calculations and birth your kids early in your late 20s , please fathers in the house I need your wise counselling on this matter. I don't want to be old before I start having children. Thanks in advance.

time and tide has changed. the days when men plan their lives and 98% of the plans fall into places has drifted. Back then your wife could give birth to twins and you would not flinch.
You have to work in line with your own plans based on what you have. Now, What do you have? It is not only about money oh! Do you have patience, discipline, tenacity, good family members, calmness?
Embrace the truth, Nigeria will be like this for a long while but blessings still come. Find a good, mellow, understanding and prayerful woman first oh because na there you go kill yourself if she is a heartless type.

DO NOT RUSH but remain focused and if you are a Christian or Muslim or whatever God you serve, call that God. Find a good woman and start with one child first and be modest.

MrBrownJay1:
this issue of having a child late or early all depends on the individual and their lifestyle...
there are many questions that needs to be answered:
- 1st and foremost why do you want to have children? to give life, have a family OR simply to have someone to take care of you in old age?
- 2nd you do understand that you may have a child that will be useless to you when you are old...aka a child with down syndrom or blind or handicapped. are you saying that such child would be a waste of life because they wont be able to support you in old age?
3rd do you actually believe that its a childs duty to take care of his parents during old age? wouldnt that child have their own family and struggles to take care of?
- 4th shouldnt it simply be: A MAN SHOULD ONLY HAVE A CHILD/CHILDREN WHEN HE IS EMOTIONLLY/PHYSICALLY/FINANCIALLY READY TO SUPPORT A FAMILY FOR THE NEXT 18YRS?

1st question ; Having children is a beautiful thing ,it gives you a great sense of purpose and existence. Makes one more responsible.

2nd question ; Nobody prays to have a handicapped child or a down syndrome , these are just silly excuses tbh. Let's be optimistic pls

3rd question ; having kids that would grow to help you in old age is a great blessing but it's optional , I would have my retirement plans so I'm not totally dependent on my children.

4th question ; A man should have a child at an early stage e.g. late 20s I believe at this age your emotionally , physically ,mentally and financially stable to raise children. (Its only dat the finances might not be enough to give them certain privileges dat one didn't enjoy as a child and that why I created dis thread so fathers can advice me on how they were able to navigate through all that financial challenges)

Karleb:


What if you marry at 25 and have your last born at 40.

Won't you pay his/her school fees when you are 60.

All these pressure your are creating for yourself is not real. They don't give "who first born" trophy.

Why would I want to have a child by age 40 ?? Lol why do u think I created the thread , obviously it's Cause I want to hAve my kids in my late 20s at least.

MikeofKd:


Why would I want to have a child by age 40 ?? Lol why do u think I created the thread , obviously it's Cause I want to hAve my kids in my late 20s at least.

God will be with you brother.

helinues:
Before considering of settling down, you need to be financial stable.

I am not saying you must have billions of naira to be financial stable oo but at least be financial independent

Financial stability is a gamble , there's no certainty that one would be financially stable at age x or not. So what if u become financially stable at a very old age.

MikeofKd:


Financial stability is a gamble , there's no certainty that one would be financially stable at age x or not. So what if u become financially stable at a very old age.

Those who don't have an actual real future plans always relay what you just said

G0odharddick:
Avoid marriage if you don't have the financial resources yet.

Forget those people telling you early marriage is the best story. You're a man, not a woman whose time is running.

Dude, settle down and make this money first before talking about marriage, and most importantly when the time comes go for a white woman and secure your future.

Boss I understand u quite well but I'm not talking about marriage here , I can have a decent baby mama and I'm ok with that.
D calculation I'm making here is if one has a kid or kids at an older age it might affect one badly. Time is running fast brother.

immortalcrown:
Early marriage is the best. But marrying late and right is better than marrying early and wrong.

If you are financially capable to have a family now, go ahead.

But don't birth children that will hawk on streets. If you don't have the financial capacity now, be patient. After all, life is not about how soon but how well.

Some marry and procreate early but their children attain the age of 40 before becoming successful. Some marry early but remain barren for many years. Some marry early, procreate early but die young and leave the kids to suffer. Some marry late and their children break through before the age of 30. Therefore, don't decide marriage based on your age. Decide marriage based on your readiness.

Boss in as much as it not good to bring children into this world when you don't have a great plan for them is bad. At the same time , time isn't really waiting for you.
So one might wait and wait till d money comes but time is running , time is running.

MikeofKd:


Boss I understand u quite well but I'm not talking about marriage here , I can have a decent baby mama and I'm ok with that.
D calculation I'm making here is if one has a kid or kids at an older age it might affect one badly. Time is running fast brother.

Baby mama comes with a lot of responsibilities too, especially if the baby mama is a coded runs girl or for the street.

Baby mama is good if you have the resources.
, but you must do a DNA test on the child once he or she is born

superCleanworks:

time and tide has changed. the days when men plan their lives and 98% of the plans fall into places has drifted. Back then your wife could give birth to twins and you would not flinch.
You have to work in line with your own plans based on what you have. Now, What do you have? It is not only about money oh! Do you have patience, discipline, tenacity, good family members, calmness?
Embrace the truth, Nigeria will be like this for a long while but blessings still come. Find a good, mellow, understanding and prayerful woman first oh because na there you go kill yourself if she is a heartless type. Find a good woman and start with one child first.

I think One can always learn on the go, I think nobody is truly prepared for anything . Having kids , u get to learn new things , getting married u get to learn new things too ,gradually one finds a healthy balance.

And about the wife that one go hard o. I'm planning on having a decent baby mama , d plan is just to have kids at an early age.
Marriage isn't for the weak.

But Thanks brother I appreciate ur post, your an OG.

MikeofKd:
1st question ; Having children is a beautiful thing ,it gives you a great sense of purpose and existence. Makes one more responsible.

if this is how you feel therefore it doesnt matter whether you have children at 18 or 64yrs of age

2nd question ; Nobody prays to have a handicapped child or a down syndrome , these are just silly excuses tbh. Let's be optimistic pls

having a handicapped/slow or deaf/dumb child is part of life.... we can be optimistic all we want but there are a lot of yeye useless children out there who amount to nothing with their lives...look around you, dont you think that all the rapists, pedos, ritualists, armed robbers, murderers, kidnappers, body parts salesmen etc are someone's children? a man can hope for whatever but life often deals you a different hand. the catch is to make sure that you go into this issue with the "RIGHT" mindset.

3rd question ; having kids that would grow to help you in old age is a great blessing but it's optional , I would have my retirement plans so I'm not totally dependent on my children.

a man's job is to make sure that he gave his children all the necessary tools/values in this life so that they can have a great life.... regardless of whether they will take care of you (or not). i believe it is a curse/burden for a man to expect his children to take care of him in his old age... if thats what these children want to do then so be it, but they certainly shouldnt be forced to do it.

4th question ; A man should have a child at an early stage e.g. late 20s I believe at this age your emotionally , physically ,mentally and financially stable to raise children. (Its only dat the finances might not be enough to give them certain privileges dat one didn't enjoy as a child and that why I created dis thread so fathers can advice me on how they were able to navigate through all that financial challenges)

there is no science to being a great father because all men are different... some are financially/emotionally/physically ready at 18 while others aint ready before 45... also, some were ready and failed as parents while others were not ready and succeeded as great parents. furthermore, you can have 3 children that you raise exactly the same way and two will turn perfect and the 3rd one would be the complete opposite... being a great parent is the only job in the world where you dont need any qualification/diploma/experience etc, thats the only job you learn on the go, and with each child it could be a different outcome. BUT ITS STILL A BEAUTIFUL EXPERIENCE BECAUSE YOU TRY TO GIVE YOUR BEST, WITH NOTHING EXPECTED IN RETURN if you give your best and dont expect anything in return, then you cant possibly do something wrong (even if your child end up as the biggest failure on earth)... because you gave your best.

Forget about those saying you must make money first.

1. Have a regular income plus some side hustle
2. Don't marry just because of love, marry who respect you and you respect her (ie her decision making, dressing, communication etc)
3. Your wife must have these qualities
Contentment: content but always aspiring to be better
Respect: more important than love
Peace of mind: she should be your sanctuary
Skill: either employed or have a money making skill
Fruitful: to reduce your prayer points

The more you make money, the more you find out that you need more money and na so time dey go

Dear OP, children are COST INTENSIVE PROJECT and not age incentive project. If you're financially prepared, you wouldn't create this thread.
The average cost of a baby monthly for someone on a low budget is diapers 10,000
Formula 38000 if it's not exclusive bf.
Others like wipes, soap, cream, detergent.... 5000 to 10000.
About 60k monthly, you've not added education savings, hospital funds.....
I have a 2 yrs old and a 6 months old. Even a good woman will be frustrated if there's no money. She has to eat nutritious food to feed the baby and it must be budgeted for.
It's good to be optimistic but what if the child is a special one health wise, you'll incur more cost.
In summary, please look at your income before bringing the child into the world.
Even my Bible says who builds a house without counting the cost.

ITbomb:

Forget about those saying you must make money first.

1. Have a regular income plus some side hustle
2. Don't marry just because of love, marry who respect you and you respect her (ie her decision making, dressing, communication etc)
3. Your wife must have these qualities
Contentment: content but always aspiring to be better
Respect: more important than love
Peace of mind: she should be your sanctuary
Skill: either employed or have a money making skill
Fruitful: to reduce your prayer points

The more you make money, the more you find out that you need more money and na so time dey go

Do you have children?

MikeofKd:
I'm in my late 20s and I've been doing some pretty serious calculations lately and I figured out that birthing your kids as a man in your late 20s is super beneficial but the issue here is the bad Economy that a lot of us face in our late 20s e.g paying lots of bills , settling family members , Etc


When you have a child lets say at age 27 or 28 when your 37 or 38 your child is 10 years , when your 47 or 48 your child is 20 years , now at age 20 your child is almost done with their first degree , which is super beneficial as supposed to having a kid when your 35 or 36 And this age some men aren't even financially secured enough to raise a family considering the Economic situation of the country.

Everyone desires for their kids to take care of them at old age , now imagine you are 60 years and your first child is still 15 years old. That jeopardizing the kid's future. Cause at age 60 your ability to work reduces significantly.

I would so much love to birth my kids now due to the old age thing but Providing for a child in this economy isn't that easy , I mean you want to be able to give them a great education and good life at early stages of their Life which can be very very hard in today's economy.

Nland fathers in the house please how were you guys able to navigate your way past all these money calculations and birth your kids early in your late 20s , please fathers in the house I need your wise counselling on this matter. I don't want to be old before I start having children. Thanks in advance.

The race is not for the swift or the wise nor for the strongest because time and fate happens to them all.


In a lay man's word, all I am saying is that you have a very good thinking based on human calculation and planning, but I am here to announce to you that life does not work that way because you may be smart and plan well but time and fate disrupts your plans. How?

Are you aware that some people married early and were unable to give birth for years? Not because the woman is old or her womb is damaged or the man is impotent, but sometimes due to unknown factors, including spiritual factors?


Are you aware that some people marry early, give birth early and in some years the child dies of illness or accident or something?

Are you aware that some married early, gave birth early, trained their child early and the child later joined bad gang and forgot his or her parents? Some travel abroad and forget their parents and claim American or European or Asian, etc for whatever reason known to them, some get married to wicked, senseless partner that made them forgot their parents.

Are you also aware that some married early, birthed early, trained their children early and at the end none of the children got a good job or are able to get something meaningful doing till their parents die wretched?


Are you also aware that some people didn't marry on time and didn't give birth on time but still their children ended up becoming wonderful children taking very good care of them at old age?


Are you aware that some didn't even give birth but ended up so blessed that they didn't or don't need any child to take care of them at old age because their old age is already secured?


These are some of the eventualities that happen to everyday people on a daily basis, so that is why I said the race is not for the swift nor for the wise neither for the strongest but of the Lord that showeth mercy.


The solution?

Embrace God. Don't let anybody deceive you, there is God. There are gods too. But there is the only Living God that controls the affairs of man. He alone maketh things right for those He wishes to. If you embrace God wholeheartedly and with joy, and establish a personal relationship with Him, casting all your burdens on Him and making your requests and heart desires to Him alone, believe me, if your requests and desires are in accordance with His plan for you, they will come to reality.


I myself married in my 30s, later than some friends, earlier than some and I thank God for how is going so far and I believe it will end in praise.


I am a living witness of the goodness of God in the life of any human yes. God lifted me from nobody to somebody through little things. I am a living testimony to the truth that God answers prayers, especially prayers you made in despair and when you are broken. Those silent informal prayers you pray deep in your heart when you are in despair, those unplanned declarations by the word of your mouth. Those words you say carelessly when you are unconscious of things, those are very important and the reason we all must learn to profess positive things to ourselves right from small. And avoid hurting people so they won't say bad things or lay curses upon us, those things are dangerous



So dear brother, fear not, embrace God, be positive about tomorrow, believe in your heart that no matter what Nigeria's economy is saying today, that your tomorrow will be greater than your today and you will end up a testimony.


May God lead you

immortalcrown:
Early marriage is the best. But marrying late and right is better than marrying early and wrong.

You can marry early or late(age-wise) and still be wrong.

People should marry when they are mentally, physically, emotionally and financially ready for marriage, that to me is the right time.

If you are in your 20s and you believe you are ready then marry, otherwise stay off even if you are in your late 40s.

Next is to find who wants to marry and raise a family as much as you do and be sure that he or she wants to do that with you.

Esthered:

Do you have children?

2+1

10mobile:
Hmmm! Face the economy and win first before talking about marriage.

if he decides to face the economy he will not even marry at all,what he needs to do is to jack up his hustle and assuming he has already met the girl he can plan it with her,this is what I did and got married to my best friend at 24yrs,not yet 50 but have two graduates and another that will graduate next yea and likely to be a grand father next year ,most times we worry too much about the future and neglect to take advantage of the moment

Tallesty1:
You can marry early or late(age-wise) and still be wrong.

People should marry when they are mentally, physically, emotionally and financially ready for marriage, that to me is the right time.

If you are in your 20s and you believe you are ready then marry, otherwise stay off even if you are in your late 40s.

Next is to find who wants to marry and raise a family as much as you do and be sure that he or she wants to do that with you.

Your response does not counter anything in my comment. I don't know why you quoted me.

okoroemeka:
if he decides to face the economy he will not even marry at all,what he needs to do is to jack up his hustle and assuming he has already met the girl he can plan it with her, this is what I did and got married to my best friend at 24yrs, not yet 50 but have two graduates and another that will graduate next yea and likely to be a grand father next year ,most times we worry too much about the future and neglect to take advantage of the moment

You got married when Nigeria's economy was flourishing. So, after voting for Buhari in 2015, why are you surprised that young Nigerians are marrying later in life?

MikeofKd:


Boss I understand u quite well but I'm not talking about marriage here , I can have a decent baby mama and I'm ok with that.
D calculation I'm making here is if one has a kid or kids at an older age it might affect one badly. Time is running fast brother.

No DECENT woman wants to be a baby-mama. Having a baby mama is a sign of irresponsibility. Any man who wants to turn a lady who has his child into a baby-mama is irresponsible and stoopid!