My husband is making it difficult for me to train my children, we can't agree and he is not ready to do his part, he says daily it is my responsibility but he is frustrating that responsibility he said is solely mine. They disregard instructions, and are very hard to stay calm. teachers are complaining, we changed location and their new teachers are complaining already.

When I say no phones or tablets, he insists they go ahead with their gadgets, he'd say am disregarding his orders. Last month, I had to break one of the tablets as they have been on it for over 5 hours!!! and he keeps asking them to continue when I say stop. He frustrates my efforts trying to teach them simple things, he'd say am taking too much time. Hey, this he says every time, if he comes home and sees me with them trying to read or solve simple maths, he complains it's enough. He prefers they waste their time on phones or tablets. It is now so bad that if I don't hold USB cord my kids will not obey. This struggle has started since age 4 or since I can remember them trying to walk. Becuase it started with him speaking babbles or unknown language and when I say no, he is expected to speak well for them to earn from him, he'd argue. That escalated to my only son having delayed speech and my husband continued to babble to a 6 year old boy. Some family members rebuked him but he'd say who are they. I had to start praying against him as I see him as the problem before he stopped babbling.

I started employing teachers to teach them as I am always busy and don't meet up to help them often as I desired, but he opposed it vehemently. He argued like he was going to pay, I told him the expenses are on me but said it was waste of money and most times he'd hurry the teachers to go before their time was up.

Last night, I had informed the kids today would be a no-gadget day, and that they should read, they are on holiday here already and I bought books for them to read and scheduled an outdoor activity for them. My husband condemned the swimming activity and say it was a waste of money and that they should play at home or wait for when they can have it for free.

I am not where I want to be, I struggled a lot in my life and all I got was the basics, and I am thankful but I want them to have the extras, the more I couldn't get as a child but my husband is frustrating every effort. I do not ask for his help in all these, all I want is cooperation or stop instigating these little ones before it is too late to get them to obey simple instructions, get use to doing things right, or follow guidelines.

He even faults assignments, like how? He just believes after school children should play and play. I cant simply ask my children to follow rules, he wants us to live as we like and with no order.

I don't even know the place of the law in my case, am so tired of his way of life, I struggle to get things fix at home. I had to remind him several times, shout or do things all by myself most times when am tired. Oh, it's been a rough ride with this man.

One of my children is really laid back, he had speech delay, and of course affected him with reading and many things, you all can imagine my struggle alone. I need help, my life has been a struggle, and I don't want these kids to go through the same but he is not getting it.

I can't agree to his slow-motion life, no way.

I am frustrated. If you have passed through this as a woman, how are you managing it well? If you think he is complaining because of his money, no. All the expenses are on me, I don't trouble him for money at all, not even a share of it.

I think you should sit him down and try to make him see from your own side as well. In whatever you do, don't try to argue with him in the children's presence, as it may infuriate him.

Based on this account, you are an Angel & your husband is a Demon.
Wish it was possible to get his own side of the story posted here, so NL Parliament can give balanced counsel.

However, both of you need counselling. Is there any married person he respects & listens to, matured & responsible enough to offer counselling?
Perhaps an experienced marriage counsellor or clergy.

Hmmmm,

From all you have said, your husband is actually the issue here.

He's an indecisive man, he's not very tough on the kids.

It's very important to also hear his own part of the story before anyone can conclude or advise you on what to do.

Nevertheless, I think you need to have a conversation with your husband so you both can be on the same page on bringing up the children.

IMO, kids aren't suppose to be on gadgets for too long, infact they don't need gadgets until certain age. It damages their brains but alot of parents don't know this.

They should be allowed to play outside the home with other children and also read their books.

I pray that the good Lord will see you through on this.

You and this your husband again?

na block head you marry, grooming another generation of block heads. abeg what's the surname make I know here my pikin no fit marry from

The man is probably over-compensating for something maybe as a result of his own childhood experience. You need to find out what is childhood was like and have sensible people talk to him else he will eventually destroy the life of those kids even before they get to adulthood.

One of the major challenges of marriage is HOW TO RAISE KIDS! It ought to have been discussed during pre marital counseling but where that was not done, the best bet is to enrol the services of a marriage counselor.

Don't give up because you will still be held responsible if the children turn out bad in the future not putting into consideration the stress you are going through now!!

Just like someone suggested, sit him down and have a tête a tête with him without raising your voice or making him feel you are seeing him to be a demon!!

God help you!!!

Hmmm

GanagiBitrus:
Based on this account, you are an Angel & your husband is a Demon.
Wish it was possible to get his own side of the story posted here, so NL Parliament can give balanced counsel.

However, both of you need counselling. Is there any married person he respects & listens to, matured & responsible enough to offer counselling?
Perhaps an experienced marriage counsellor or clergy.

Get a life. Go and call husband to tell his own side. Some of you are unecessarily probematic. A woman opened a thread after years of these issues, you're discrediting her post. Do you think she would open a thread like this to tell lies? Stop running down people who need genuine marital advice by implying you need to hear from the other party when that's not possible. She gave numerous examples of his ways for you to have enough sense to know she's not lying. I doubt she opened the thread for herself but for the sake of the kids who are being affected by his ways. Grow up.

Forget your husband. If the children misbehave tomorrow, people will ask, where is their mother?
Please keep talking, don’t stop correcting them, put them daily in your prayers.
Advise them daily, let them know why you’re doing all you are doing for them. One by one they will start picking.
Create as little time as you can, read with them, they will love it a lot.
God bless our mothers.

Neptunium:
Get a life. Go and call husband to tell his own side. Some of you are unecessarily probematic. A woman opened a thread after years of these issues, you're discrediting her post. Do you think she would open a thread like this to tell lies? Stop running down people who need genuine marital advice by implying you need to hear from the other party when that's not possible. She gave numerous examples of his ways for you to have enough sense to know she's not lying. I doubt she opened the thread for herself but for the sake of the kids who are being affected by his ways. Grow up.

You either have problem with English comprehension or you are inexperienced in issues of life.

I used "wish" because I knew it would be difficult or impossible to get the husband's side of the story here, but that it would be needed for a balanced counsel.

And if you've tasted life long enough, you would know there are always 2sides to any story. It doesn't mean the other party is lying. Rather people make reports to suit their perspective & you need both perspectives to give balanced judgement.

Finally, this is a faceless forum. You neither know me nor know the quality of life I am living. So it will be folly to throw tantrums in that regard.
Part of being educated is to be courteous & always make your points without insults. Pls be guided.

GanagiBitrus:


You either have problem with English comprehension or you are inexperienced in issues of life.

I used "wish" because I knew it would be difficult or impossible to get the husband's side of the story here, but that it would be needed for a balanced counsel.

And if you've tasted life long enough, you would know there are always 2sides to any story. It doesn't mean the other party is lying. Rather people make reports to suit their perspective & you need both perspectives to give balanced judgement.

Finally, this is a faceless forum. You neither know me nor know the quality of life I am living. So it will be folly to throw tantrums in that regard.
Part of being educated is to be courteous & always make your points without insults. Pls be guided.

She cannot tell her husband to open thread on Nairaland to give his side. Her husband that will not listen to anything she says is the one that will now come to post on Nairaland? Somebody like him is who might come online to tell lies sef. Simply advice her based on what she has written, idiot. Tons of people open threads here, if you're telling them to go call their spouse, where will that get them? Had the post been wrritten by a man, would you tell him to call his wife to give her own side? No na. But it's a woman so she must be lying. If you're stupid, just say you're stupid and leave thread, not make things more difficult for the woman.

If the kids grow up to become adults and start misbehaving, your yeye husband will now blame you for their misbehavior. Please talk to your in-laws about the issue and don't relent in giving your kids discipline. Na mama dey suffer the consequences at the end.

Some men sef. Na wa o!

Hahahaha you are funny. Those children are just like you.. Every active child behaves like that at point towards maturity... It shows you have healthy kids

Kindheartedd:
My husband is making it difficult for me to train my children, we can't agree and he is not ready to do his part, he says daily it is my responsibility but he is frustrating that responsibility he said is solely mine. They disregard instructions, and are very hard to stay calm. teachers are complaining, we changed location and their new teachers are complaining already.

When I say no phones or tablets, he insists they go ahead with their gadgets, he'd say am disregarding his orders. Last month, I had to break one of the tablets as they have been on it for over 5 hours!!! and he keeps asking them to continue when I say stop. He frustrates my efforts trying to teach them simple things, he'd say am taking too much time. Hey, this he says every time, if he comes home and sees me with them trying to read or solve simple maths, he complains it's enough. He prefers they waste their time on phones or tablets. It is now so bad that if I don't hold USB cord my kids will not obey. This struggle has started since age 4 or since I can remember them trying to walk. Becuase it started with him speaking babbles or unknown language and when I say no, he is expected to speak well for them to earn from him, he'd argue. That escalated to my only son having delayed speech and my husband continued to babble to a 6 year old boy. Some family members rebuked him but he'd say who are they. I had to start praying against him as I see him as the problem before he stopped babbling.

I started employing teachers to teach them as I am always busy and don't meet up to help them often as I desired, but he opposed it vehemently. He argued like he was going to pay, I told him the expenses are on me but said it was waste of money and most times he'd hurry the teachers to go before their time was up.

Last night, I had informed the kids today would be a no-gadget day, and that they should read, they are on holiday here already and I bought books for them to read and scheduled an outdoor activity for them. My husband condemned the swimming activity and say it was a waste of money and that they should play at home or wait for when they can have it for free.

I am not where I want to be, I struggled a lot in my life and all I got was the basics, and I am thankful but I want them to have the extras, the more I couldn't get as a child but my husband is frustrating every effort. I do not ask for his help in all these, all I want is cooperation or stop instigating these little ones before it is too late to get them to obey simple instructions, get use to doing things right, or follow guidelines.

He even faults assignments, like how? He just believes after school children should play and play. I cant simply ask my children to follow rules, he wants us to live as we like and with no order.

I don't even know the place of the law in my case, am so tired of his way of life, I struggle to get things fix at home. I had to remind him several times, shout or do things all by myself most times when am tired. Oh, it's been a rough ride with this man.

One of my children is really laid back, he had speech delay, and of course affected him with reading and many things, you all can imagine my struggle alone. I need help, my life has been a struggle, and I don't want these kids to go through the same but he is not getting it.

I can't agree to his slow-motion life, no way.

I am frustrated. If you have passed through this as a woman, how are you managing it well? If you think he is complaining because of his money, no. All the expenses are on me, I don't trouble him for money at all, not even a share of it.

I think your husband’s behavior is as a result of his own childhood trauma. Maybe he has a very rigid childhood that affected his self esteem and he doesn’t want the same for his kids.

Also, your children sound young, how old are they? Sometimes all they need is to grow up!!! My own kids almost gave me HBP and I swear, I used to wish I didn’t have kids. Sometimes kids are just that way, and it may not necessarily be because of you.

Also, why did you buy the iPads for them?. My kids didn’t even have iPads until my oldest turned 10. Now if I tell them to drop their devices, they have other things to do. For this summer and I made a list of activities with over 5 hours of screen time daily. They happily comply with it because they know they will eventually get to use their electronics. I refused to buy some extremely distracting things like PS5 and other games. I will not use my hand and give my children temptations!

As for your husband, have you ever had a deep conversation about this with him? Have you calmly explained to him why you have all these rules? Some men just see our rules as “wickedness”, especially when they had wicked mothers themselves. Also, some men just do not understand how frustrating unruly kids can be.

My husband used to do the same until he started seeing their unruly side. Because of work schedules, he’s hardly home alone with them, before he gets back they are tired from the day’s madness and I’m done with my “shouting” for the day, so he never really understood how bad it was. Until his work schedule changed and he spent more time at home with them.

Everybody wants well-behaved kids, he just needs to understand the reason for your actions. Also, how do you go about talking to them or trying to discipline them? Do you use harsh words, loud voice, do you beat them? You need to be their friend if you want them to listen to you.

If your husband keeps being a problem, then stop telling him your plans for them. You don’t need him to pay for the swimming so why ask for his permission. Some men are just laid back and never want to do anything. You can’t keep trying to get his cooperation when you know he will only discourage you.

But trust me, You can never have perfect kids no matter how much you try. You may think if you and your husband get it all right they will be perfect, but they may not be. I know from my own experience. Even at their age, they still trouble the life out of me. But it is better now than it was when they were much younger. So give it time, and don’t ever give up setting rules for them, teaching them discipline, focus, respect e.t.c

As for your husband, you let him be the way he is. You let him get away with not playing his role and you need to stop it. We women think if we are gentle withe they will use their common sense and learn, but most time they see our gentility as an enabler. Force him to do what he’s supposed to do and if he refuses, make a while lot of trouble for him. Let him know that the alternative to not playing his role is trouble. Don’t ever step in for him, not even once. Teach him to figure out that his duty is his alone. Some men are still kids at heart, and you have to treat them like kids. I know it’s unfair, but that is just the reality.

robinso01:
I think you should sit him down and try to make him see from your own side as well. In whatever you do, don't try to argue with him in the children's presence, as it may infuriate him.

Based on what you read just now you don’t think she’s talked to him and tried to make him see her point of view?

OP I wish you luck

Besides domestic violence and infidelity, some of the biggest challenges married couples face is child raising methods, money and in-law interferences.

You’re doing your best. Keep it up.

Kindheartedd:
My husband is making it difficult for me to train my children, we can't agree and he is not ready to do his part, he says daily it is my responsibility but he is frustrating that responsibility he said is solely mine. They disregard instructions, and are very hard to stay calm. teachers are complaining, we changed location and their new teachers are complaining already.

When I say no phones or tablets, he insists they go ahead with their gadgets, he'd say am disregarding his orders. Last month, I had to break one of the tablets as they have been on it for over 5 hours!!! and he keeps asking them to continue when I say stop. He frustrates my efforts trying to teach them simple things, he'd say am taking too much time. Hey, this he says every time, if he comes home and sees me with them trying to read or solve simple maths, he complains it's enough. He prefers they waste their time on phones or tablets. It is now so bad that if I don't hold USB cord my kids will not obey. This struggle has started since age 4 or since I can remember them trying to walk. Becuase it started with him speaking babbles or unknown language and when I say no, he is expected to speak well for them to earn from him, he'd argue. That escalated to my only son having delayed speech and my husband continued to babble to a 6 year old boy. Some family members rebuked him but he'd say who are they. I had to start praying against him as I see him as the problem before he stopped babbling.

I started employing teachers to teach them as I am always busy and don't meet up to help them often as I desired, but he opposed it vehemently. He argued like he was going to pay, I told him the expenses are on me but said it was waste of money and most times he'd hurry the teachers to go before their time was up.

Last night, I had informed the kids today would be a no-gadget day, and that they should read, they are on holiday here already and I bought books for them to read and scheduled an outdoor activity for them. My husband condemned the swimming activity and say it was a waste of money and that they should play at home or wait for when they can have it for free.

I am not where I want to be, I struggled a lot in my life and all I got was the basics, and I am thankful but I want them to have the extras, the more I couldn't get as a child but my husband is frustrating every effort. I do not ask for his help in all these, all I want is cooperation or stop instigating these little ones before it is too late to get them to obey simple instructions, get use to doing things right, or follow guidelines.

He even faults assignments, like how? He just believes after school children should play and play. I cant simply ask my children to follow rules, he wants us to live as we like and with no order.

I don't even know the place of the law in my case, am so tired of his way of life, I struggle to get things fix at home. I had to remind him several times, shout or do things all by myself most times when am tired. Oh, it's been a rough ride with this man.

One of my children is really laid back, he had speech delay, and of course affected him with reading and many things, you all can imagine my struggle alone. I need help, my life has been a struggle, and I don't want these kids to go through the same but he is not getting it.

I can't agree to his slow-motion life, no way.

I am frustrated. If you have passed through this as a woman, how are you managing it well? If you think he is complaining because of his money, no. All the expenses are on me, I don't trouble him for money at all, not even a share of it.

Seems like you are engagement farming.

You said you were leaving him about 5 years ago. What changed? How come you’re still with him?

Posh and pampering of kids is bad oOoOO

So sorry how you feel now. Sounds very frustrating.

Continue to do what you should for them.

Your husband is an average Nigerian child who suffered insane lack as a child and was subjected to all manner of competition and comparison by the parents and elders when growing up. That type of upbringing damages the individual and they swear that their kids will never be tortured like that. He believes kids should be allowed to be kids because once the opportunity is gone, it's gone for good.

That explains why he doesn't even even value family members opinion on his kids.

Unfortunately, problem is that he doesn't know when and where to draw a line.

You meanwhile believes in instilling serious work ethics into kids from the onset because you believe that they will need it more than anything else to survive this brutal world.

Here's my advice, you made him marry you, you can still convince to see things your way instead of full confrontation or praying against your own husband who is supposed to be your head according to the Bible.

I wish you luck

Wtf is this??

Kindheartedd:
My husband is making it difficult for me to train my children, we can't agree and he is not ready to do his part, he says daily it is my responsibility but he is frustrating that responsibility he said is solely mine. They disregard instructions, and are very hard to stay calm. teachers are complaining, we changed location and their new teachers are complaining already.

When I say no phones or tablets, he insists they go ahead with their gadgets, he'd say am disregarding his orders. Last month, I had to break one of the tablets as they have been on it for over 5 hours!!! and he keeps asking them to continue when I say stop. He frustrates my efforts trying to teach them simple things, he'd say am taking too much time. Hey, this he says every time, if he comes home and sees me with them trying to read or solve simple maths, he complains it's enough. He prefers they waste their time on phones or tablets. It is now so bad that if I don't hold USB cord my kids will not obey. This struggle has started since age 4 or since I can remember them trying to walk. Becuase it started with him speaking babbles or unknown language and when I say no, he is expected to speak well for them to earn from him, he'd argue. That escalated to my only son having delayed speech and my husband continued to babble to a 6 year old boy. Some family members rebuked him but he'd say who are they. I had to start praying against him as I see him as the problem before he stopped babbling.

I started employing teachers to teach them as I am always busy and don't meet up to help them often as I desired, but he opposed it vehemently. He argued like he was going to pay, I told him the expenses are on me but said it was waste of money and most times he'd hurry the teachers to go before their time was up.

Last night, I had informed the kids today would be a no-gadget day, and that they should read, they are on holiday here already and I bought books for them to read and scheduled an outdoor activity for them. My husband condemned the swimming activity and say it was a waste of money and that they should play at home or wait for when they can have it for free.

I am not where I want to be, I struggled a lot in my life and all I got was the basics, and I am thankful but I want them to have the extras, the more I couldn't get as a child but my husband is frustrating every effort. I do not ask for his help in all these, all I want is cooperation or stop instigating these little ones before it is too late to get them to obey simple instructions, get use to doing things right, or follow guidelines.

He even faults assignments, like how? He just believes after school children should play and play. I cant simply ask my children to follow rules, he wants us to live as we like and with no order.

I don't even know the place of the law in my case, am so tired of his way of life, I struggle to get things fix at home. I had to remind him several times, shout or do things all by myself most times when am tired. Oh, it's been a rough ride with this man.

One of my children is really laid back, he had speech delay, and of course affected him with reading and many things, you all can imagine my struggle alone. I need help, my life has been a struggle, and I don't want these kids to go through the same but he is not getting it.

I can't agree to his slow-motion life, no way.

I am frustrated. If you have passed through this as a woman, how are you managing it well? If you think he is complaining because of his money, no. All the expenses are on me, I don't trouble him for money at all, not even a share of it.

You sound like a white person, I could be wrong.


Honestly if all you wrote here are the truth, then something is definitely wrong with your hubby.


Just keep doing your best, your kids will grow to appreciate what you are doing now. Growing up I hated my father because he was so strict and loved my Mother because she never chastised me or flogged me lol, but with time as I grew older, I started appreciating what my father did even though it didn't make me dislike my amazing mother my first love


Just keep doing what you know is right and don't give up, ordinarily, most husbands and wives don't have same kids training ideology; one is usually softer than the other to balance the home, so it's good you are the tough one while your hubby is the soft side, makes your home balanced, so don't feel like its unusual though because most homes are always like that.

In my case, my wife is the strict one while I am the soft landing for the kids. You can imagine last week my son told his mom that mom I don't like you, I love Daddy, Daddy is my friend and we both burst into laughter before I then corrected him and he smiled and said okay.

Why did he said that? My wife always try to restrict him from using phones often while I always give him one of my phones to watch cartoons on YouTube or play games lol.


So don't feel frustrated, it's normal, with time they will appreciate you.


The only issue I see is your husband refusing some of your good training gestures to the kids, that's not cool. I even wished my wife had more time to discipline my son especially because he is too hyperactive and hardly rest unless he falls asleep.

My point? Hang on, don't give up,and also know that most today Dads seem to be softer to their kids than Dads of the 90s and 80s. So keep doing the good job you are doing and don't give up and don't allow it to frustrate you or cause you depression, just take it easy, and make sure your kids appreciates the love and fear of God, that is more important as that love and fear for God and Godly things will help them appreciate your good efforts today and also guard them from going astray tomorrow

your husband is a very stubborn man..
I wonder how u didn't see this signs with ur first born ..
I'm sure u saw it but overlooked it.
now it's a thorn in ur flesh..
Na only God fit help u..

This is the kind of task I do, currently there is a boy in js3 called John and the dude is very poor because he cannot pronounce and read basic words and because of that, he doesn't really speak due to embarrassment , my class with him is just a month, and he has improved, I was surprised yesterday while I was with him. And I was very excited. Now, Imagine he had this kind of opportunity from kid. He's poor to the extent that he cannot pronounce words like a primary school student. He's worse than primary 5 student in pronunciation, reading and comprehension.
You can message me on Whatsapp to discuss Sha
080 3154250 nine.
It's well.

He either doesn't love these kids and wants to ruin them (God forbid), or he needs psychiatric evaluation or a neurological exam to get his brain checked because something doesn't seem to be right somewhere.

If your husband refuses to change his destructive methods of raising your kids, then you've to find a way to put them first.

UjuJoan2:


I think your husband’s behavior is as a result of his own childhood trauma. Maybe he has a very rigid childhood that affected his self esteem and he doesn’t want the same for his kids.

Also, your children sound young, how old are they? Sometimes all they need is to grow up!!! My own kids almost gave me HBP and I swear, I used to wish I didn’t have kids. Sometimes kids are just that way, and it may not necessarily be because of you.

Also, why did you buy the iPads for them?. My kids didn’t even have iPads until my oldest turned 10. Now if I tell them to drop their devices, they have other things to do. For this summer and I made a list of activities with over 5 hours of screen time daily. They happily comply with it because they know they will eventually get to use their electronics. I refused to buy some extremely distracting things like PS5 and other games. I will not use my hand and give my children temptations!

As for your husband, have you ever had a deep conversation about this with him? Have you calmly explained to him why you have all these rules? Some men just see our rules as “wickedness”, especially when they had wicked mothers themselves. Also, some men just do not understand how frustrating unruly kids can be.

My husband used to do the same until he started seeing their unruly side. Because of work schedules, he’s hardly home alone with them, before he gets back they are tired from the day’s madness and I’m done with my “shouting” for the day, so he never really understood how bad it was. Until his work schedule changed and he spent more time at home with them.

Everybody wants well-behaved kids, he just needs to understand the reason for your actions. Also, how do you go about talking to them or trying to discipline them? Do you use harsh words, loud voice, do you beat them? You need to be their friend if you want them to listen to you.

If your husband keeps being a problem, then stop telling him your plans for them. You don’t need him to pay for the swimming so why ask for his permission. Some men are just laid back and never want to do anything. You can’t keep trying to get his cooperation when you know he will only discourage you.

But trust me, You can never have perfect kids no matter how much you try. You may think if you and your husband get it all right they will be perfect, but they may not be. I know from my own experience. Even at their age, they still trouble the life out of me. But it is better now than it was when they were much younger. So give it time, and don’t ever give up setting rules for them, teaching them discipline, focus, respect e.t.c

As for your husband, you let him be the way he is. You let him get away with not playing his role and you need to stop it. We women think if we are gentle withe they will use their common sense and learn, but most time they see our gentility as an enabler. Force him to do what he’s supposed to do and if he refuses, make a while lot of trouble for him. Let him know that the alternative to not playing his role is trouble. Don’t ever step in for him, not even once. Teach him to figure out that his duty is his alone. Some men are still kids at heart, and you have to treat them like kids. I know it’s unfair, but that is just the reality.

OP, listen to this lady. She has shared a lot from experience that could help you.

I would like to highlight two points:

1) Build a good relationship with your children, this will make them want to please you and avoid disappointing you.

2) Let the father take care of them. Make him stay with them for an extended period of time so he can see for himself that kids can be a handful.

GanagiBitrus:
Based on this account, you are an Angel & your husband is a Demon.
Wish it was possible to get his own side of the story posted here, so NL Parliament can give balanced counsel.

However, both of you need counselling. Is there any married person he respects & listens to, matured & responsible enough to offer counselling?
Perhaps an experienced marriage counsellor or clergy.

smh I think say una like intelligent wives so that una go get woman wey go sabi teach your kids book una still marry wife wey sabi book,una still dey blame am.

I still dey find the woman wey fit satisfy man for this world

Tufia

If you marry one with big yansh una go say na only yansh she get she no get sense
The one wey get sense she be itk and don't listen to instructions
The one wey sabi cook na only food she knows, she no sabi manage resources
The one wey no sabi cook,she's too lazy

Maybe una go finally marry una gender make everybody rest

SAMBARRY:
smh I think say una like intelligent wives so that una go get woman wey go sabi teach your kids book una still marry wife wey sabi book,una still dey blame am.

I still dey find the woman wey fit satisfy man for this world

Tufia

If you marry one with big yansh una go say na only yansh she get she no get sense
The one wey get sense she be itk and don't listen to instructions
The one wey sabi cook na only food she knows, she no sabi manage resources
The one wey no sabi cook,she's too lazy

Maybe una go finally marry una gender make everybody rest

Kindly point out which sentence in my comment blamed her.
Abi you get problem with English Comprehension.

GanagiBitrus:

Kindly point out which sentence in my comment blamed her.
Abi you get problem with English Comprehension.

good! I will point it out to you

BASED ON THIS ACCOUNT, YOURE AN ANGEL AND YOUR HUSBAND IS A DEMON

The first sentence in your post reveals gaslighting at its finest.