Nairalanders, please help me ohh, my wife wants to destroy our marriage and she sees nothing wrong in what she's doing.

It's been two weeks now since the first day a guy at her place of work started dropping her off with his car when they close from work. First it was just dropping her off after work, now it has graduated and the same said guy has started picking her up from our marital home. I asked what was it all about and if she knew and told the guy she was married with a child, she said I just like to read meaning to little things and that the guy was just a friend, i kept calm ohh, until on Tuesday she came home with pringles and malt and said the guy said she should give me. We had a serious argument that turned physical and she has refused to talk to me ever since, no longer cooks before she leaves home anymore, even our baby she barely gives attention. Please Nairalanders i need your advice because i don't want to do what's in my mind right now because somebody might get hurt.

she said I just like to read meaning to little things and that the guy was just a friend

on Tuesday she came home with pringles and malt and said the guy said she should give me.

Accept my sympathy in advance.

But you, try and buy car too na. Your wife dey get free car you want stop her?

Man
You're insecured!
It's just help assistance and harmless malt nd biscuit
Why are u gettin so worked up...
Pls go and beg ur wife
And let peace reign

Surface2AirToto:
Nairalanders, please help me ohh, my wife wants to destroy our marriage and she sees nothing wrong in what she's doing.

It's been two weeks now since the first day a guy at her place of work started dropping her off with his car when they close from work. First it was just dropping her off after work, now it has graduated and the same said guy has started picking her up from our marital home. I asked what was it all about and if she knew and told the guy she was married with a child, she said I just like to read meaning to little things and that the guy was just a friend, i kept calm ohh, until on Tuesday she came home with pringles and malt and said the guy said she should give me. We had a serious argument that turned physical and she has refused to talk to me ever since, no longer cooks before she leaves home anymore, even our baby she barely gives attention. Please Nairalanders i need your advice because i don't want to do what's in my mind right now because somebody might get hurt.

In as much as getting free ride to and from work may be harmless, I understand your worries as well...

It is very danjalous!!!

It all depends on the type of woman you married...

Now, to she no longer cooking for you not liking after you guys' child... That is arrant nonsense!!!

What type of mother starve her child of attention? Please if you are not ready for marriage remain single. Some of you going into marriage unprepared are nut case.

I dislike all these unnecessary friendship with the opposite sex that makes a partner uncomfortable, it's stupidity. You sef why did you go physical on her? Is that how to show your masculinity? Let me tell you that the moment you start hitting your wife, she's very prone to cheat on you.

Most of you should go learn silent treatment that's the best weapon to tame any woman.

dhiqson:

Man
You're insecured!
It's just help assistance and harmless malt nd biscuit
Why are u gettin so worked up...
Pls go and beg ur wife
And let peace reign

ur not talking like a guy,,am a girl bt i wil never advice dis guy to go beg her,fr wat?Wats his offence that his wife dosnt plce value on herself? What should he beg her for if i may ask? If ur my brother i wil advice u to take the baby to ur mother or invite her around to hlp u take care of the bby while you do ur business,wen she is tired of rubbishing herself,u ask her to park her things n live ur house,,her eye is outside already,d is ntin u cn do,move on with ur life,,tomoro d wil say nigerian girls,,mitcheew

bro,
this is your wife not a stranger, be calming down stop the fight and work things out with her, ask sensible questions; i mean talk with her be sincere to help her out not to "catch her in the act" kind of thing
she might be going through a challenge where she needs help to figure out things and overcome such
stop making her feel like a criminal rather let her know you are there for her and its the two of you side by side
if she's being distracted by the office guy, you're to proffer solution to this and appeal to her initial love for you and your union
a lady with a child will not go all out to destroy her home and if you think she's on this path, bro it's your life duty to bring her to her senses by talking with her not to her.
your wife is your first daughter, treat her as such
she will lose out if she allows that office guy destroy her home so if you truly love her, fight for her not against her
the loads of your work is with her and you have little to do with the office guy

wish you the best and don't underestimate the place of prayer in this matter
ciao!

modified
looking at your username gives me the chill
are you clean from these accusations? don't you do your own runs too?
just asking sha

Deprincess4321:
ur not talking like a guy,,am a girl bt i wil never advice dis guy to go beg her,fr wat?Wats his offence that his wife dosnt plce value on herself? What should he beg her for if i may ask? If ur my brother i wil advice u to take the baby to ur mother or invite her around to hlp u take care of the bby while you do ur business,wen she is tired of rubbishing herself,u ask her to park her things n live ur house,,her eye is outside already,d is ntin u cn do,move on with ur life,,tomoro d wil say nigerian girls,,mitcheew

Best advice I've read so far. It's disheartening that most guys on this nairaland are myopic and inexperienced entities. Have you ever seen a strong and perfect being who's not human enough to feel insecure? Even God feels jealous when you take the worship he deserves to another god or idol.

Allowing another man do what your husband isn't enabled to do even if youre not having an affair with the man is already wrong, worse is that you don't even know it's wrong and worst is that shes standing tall trying to outshine her husband in an argument over his security.

Ignoring her own child certifies her foolishness. She's making it glaring to the world that a man who has a car can do better caregiving than her husband who doesn't have making her husband look incapable and she's proud of it.

That's how people lose homes and marriages and become single mothers and regret later...she's at that edge already if she's not careful.

This is rubbish,tomoro d wil b moving frm one prayer house to another looking fr husband and happy home,,,women with small brain,,am a lady bt i jst hate all this unnecessary complains,starving ur own baby and husband and seeking attention from men outside,,usless,,if ur my brother,i wil advice you to throw her out,call your mother to help u with the baby while u do ur business and move on with ur life..i hate rubbish

This one pass me o


I detest guys that dont know where to draw the line, when it comes to the kinda women they make friends with

I automatically feel disgusted chatting with a married woman, let alone getting close to them

Op, if worst comes to worst, call the guy and just tell am say u no dey okay with am, jokingly

Not sure your wife would listen to u, she'd prolly logically explain how that assistance has being helping her to save more

Pringles and Malt, oh no bro emotions don dey go far already

" it got physical....."

Did you hit your wife? If yes I think you should contact Mike Tyson, Muhammad Ali et all to help you with your family issues and not bother we peace loving Nairalanders.

When you were marrying nonsense and handling her the nonsense way, were we there?

Pringles and Malt.

This has to be among the craziest things I've read.

Your wife fit don collect reach over 3.5 already.....

The guy fit don carry ya wife to shopping mall go flex sotey he even remember to buy you Pringles and Maltina..... ....

And you know women with their Fish brain......He go just dey press her mumu botton kawaii..

Only a matter of time before the guy lash ya wife and DNA issue would start from there.

Has anyone else noticed how Nigerian men on the SM space

now constantly/whine/nag/cry/complain about their relationships with women rather than the other way round at a ratio of almost 30:1?

It used to be the women who complained/cried/whined more.

What is going on with Nigerian men?

You don't want your wife getting picked to & from work by another man?Then buy motor for your wife.

The man picking your wife up bought biscuit & coke to placate you yet, here you are still complaining/nagging/whining.

Walahi,Nigerian men have completely lost the plot

CyrusVI:
This one pass me o


I detest guys that dont know where to draw the line, when it comes to the kinda women they make friends with

I automatically feel disgusted chatting with a married woman, let alone getting close to them

Op, if worst comes to worst, call the guy and just tell am say u no dey okay with am, jokingly

Not sure your wife would listen to u, she'd prolly logically explain how that assistance has being helping her to save more

It is the audacity of the guy to extend his "generosity" to Op for me . No respect at all!

Mumu wife too come deliver it . Lol I can't even say if she's being naive or daring.

Any sensible person will know there are boundaries to set when it comes to dealing with a married person.

Deprincess4321:
ur not talking like a guy,,am a girl bt i wil never advice dis guy to go beg her,fr wat?Wats his offence that his wife dosnt plce value on herself? What should he beg her for if i may ask? If ur my brother i wil advice u to take the baby to ur mother or invite her around to hlp u take care of the bby while you do ur business,wen she is tired of rubbishing herself,u ask her to park her things n live ur house,,her eye is outside already,d is ntin u cn do,move on with ur life,,tomoro d wil say nigerian girls,,mitcheew

Sarcasm flew over you ma'am


Ohh, and i just skimmed over ur posts on nairaland and im quite impressed... No unnecessary vile comments

But I'll like to say, most ladies that make sense like this (referencing ur post) they are averagely fine like me
Or body wise, it's just not there
So which is which??



If it sounds offensive, you don't need to reply

Deprincess4321:
ur not talking like a guy,,am a girl bt i wil never advice dis guy to go beg her,fr wat?Wats his offence that his wife dosnt plce value on herself? What should he beg her for if i may ask? If ur my brother i wil advice u to take the baby to ur mother or invite her around to hlp u take care of the bby while you do ur business,wen she is tired of rubbishing herself,u ask her to park her things n live ur house,,her eye is outside already,d is ntin u cn do,move on with ur life,,tomoro d wil say nigerian girls,,mitcheew

So in all, Op's Mother will bear the brunt of two stupid individuals' failure. Do you know what it takes to raise a child especially for an aged person.

Lol.... May our mothers get the rest they need

Well, did you take the pringles and malt?

dhiqson:




Sarcasm flew over you ma'am


Ohh, and i just skimmed over ur posts on nairaland and im quite impressed... No unnecessary vile comments

But I'll like to say, most ladies that make sense like this (referencing ur post) they are averagely fine like me
Or body wise, it's just not there
So which is which??



If it sounds offensive, you don't need to reply

plz can u type n drop dis comment again? Cuz i cnt get ur writeup here,tnks

[quote ae not having an affair with the man is already wrong, worse is that you don't even know it's wrong and worst is that shes standing tall trying to outshine her husband in an argument over his security. Igno.[/quote] i agree with wat ur saying,duo some people here wil take my advice offensive or wat ever,bt a man dat dosent behave like a man is a red flag for me,wat his wife is doing is cheating in relationship,duo some peopld belif that cheating is only by having sex outside,bt it not,,her eye is outside already,and she dosnt even have regards for the man any more,by collecting malt from another man for the husband,for me i take that as mind games and ways of manipulating him,,if its me i wil send u parking,bcuz a guy coming to drop and pick u from ur marital home hmmm, me like this i do read meaning to little thngs oh,datz y i jst hate rubbish

Deprincess4321:
plz can u type n drop dis comment again? Cuz i cnt get ur writeup here,tnks

Sigh
Okay i said
Your message was duly noted
I was being sarcastic with my comment

Handle the situation quickly.

CyrusVI:
This one pass me o


I detest guys that dont know where to draw the line, when it comes to the kinda women they make friends with

I automatically feel disgusted chatting with a married woman, let alone getting close to them

Op, if worst comes to worst, call the guy and just tell am say u no dey okay with am, jokingly

Not sure your wife would listen to u, she'd prolly logically explain how that assistance has being helping her to save more

There is not like jokingly here, he should confront the MF and warn him to stay away and never ever give lift, make sure this warning is recorded, you might need it later. Men should learn to maintain boundary and don't cross the redline. Op that's (most) women for you, they try to downplay their idiocy making it look less an offence cos that's their current state of mind as they try to filter, digest and validate their next line of action while hanging onto an excuse to finally cheat. heating her to her means validation and a big push to fall into the MF hands.
Journey of a 100 miles start with one step, from dropping her off to picking her from your house and next show of effection to her family in other to win her over. Note, the easiest way to a woman's heart is through her children (just be kind and friendly with her kids then identify with the husband).

Her eye don dey outside already just watch and monitor her to find good ground to finally dump her arse. Meanwhile hitting her is so wrong and it's totally foolish to do so. you fit woza her a life changing hot slap or two then bounce and go somewhere and chill.

Proserpina:
So in all, Op's Mother will bear the brunt of two stupid individuals' failure. Do you know what it takes to raise a child especially for an aged person.

Lol.... My our mothers get the rest they need

so you advice the man to go beg the wife like the other commentator did? Or he should continue accommodating a cheating wife? Cheating is nt only by having sex outside,,bt wat his wife is doing is cheating and disrespecting him,,she dosent even have regards for him,,my dear better fr him to look for another option and send her out,cuz giving another man outside that go ahead to come and pick u from ur marital home to work and drop you back,is a red flag shikina,i hate rubbish,u wil park and go back to ur mothers house asap

Surface2AirToto:
Nairalanders, please help me ohh, my wife wants to destroy our marriage and she sees nothing wrong in what she's doing.

It's been two weeks now since the first day a guy at her place of work started dropping her off with his car when they close from work. First it was just dropping her off after work, now it has graduated and the same said guy has started picking her up from our marital home. I asked what was it all about and if she knew and told the guy she was married with a child, she said I just like to read meaning to little things and that the guy was just a friend, i kept calm ohh, until on Tuesday she came home with pringles and malt and said the guy said she should give me. We had a serious argument that turned physical and she has refused to talk to me ever since, no longer cooks before she leaves home anymore, even our baby she barely gives attention. Please Nairalanders i need your advice because i don't want to do what's in my mind right now because somebody might get hurt.

A4alpha:



There is not like jokingly here, he should confront the MF and warn him to stay away and never ever give lift, make sure this warning is recorded, you might need it later. Men should learn to maintain boundary and don't cross the redline. Op that's (most) women for you, they try to downplay their idiocy making it look less an offence cos that's their current state of mind as they try to filter, digest and validate their next line of action while hanging onto an excuse to finally cheat. heating her to her means validation and a big push to fall into the MF hands.
Journey of a 100 miles start with one step, from dropping her off to picking her from your house and next show of effection to her family in other to win her over. Note, the easiest way to a woman's heart is through her children (just be kind and friendly with her kids then identify with the husband).

Her eye don dey outside already just watch and monitor her to find good ground to finally dump her arse. Meanwhile hitting her is so wrong and it's totally foolish to do so. you fit woza her a life changing hot slap or two then bounce and go somewhere and chill.

Mr Toto......biko.....go bacccccto bed please!!!!((((no ooofencsse))))

dhiqson:



Sigh Okay i said Your message was duly noted I was being sarcastic with my comment

seen

dhiqson:

Man
You're insecured!
It's just help assistance and harmless malt nd biscuit
Why are u gettin so worked up...
Pls go and beg ur wife
And let peace reign

What did I just readGuy na big insult oooo.pray when you marry let another guy man dey drop your wife in your present everyday.if na me I will punch that guy 4 Tyre call it insecure I don't care.

Deprincess4321:
so you advice the man to go beg the wife like the other commentator did? Or he should continue accommodating a cheating wife? Cheating is nt only by having sex outside,,bt wat his wife is doing is cheating and disrespecting him,,she dosent even have regards for him,,my dear better fr him to look for another option and send her out,cuz giving another man outside that go ahead to come and pick u from ur marital home to work and drop you back,is a red flag shikina,i hate rubbish,u wil park and go back to ur mothers house asap

Lol... Park and go . That's how easy it is to dissolve marriage. If he has problem with the new person coming, he will send her away too right? .

From Op's story, his wife is naive (only a naive person will give a gift from opposite gender to his or her partner) . She's yet to understand what marriage entails and I believe she has a lot of growing up to do, same as Op. Both of them need to learn to settle misunderstanding without going to the extreme ( throwing punches or neglecting responsibilities).

To the wife, she's not cheating and she's being bullied. To the husband, he's being disrespected. They have to help each other see where they wrong one another and that can only be done through communication. I believe they are newly wed so they have lot of adjustment to do.

Husband should help the wife see the need to set boundaries, Wife should help husband see he can correct without being defensive or offensive. That's all.

I see the other guy planned it all. Sow a seed of discord, then serve as a shoulder to lean on abi as a shoulder to place her leg on . Guess what... He's getting there

EreluRoz:
What type of mother starve her child of attention? Please if you are not ready for marriage remain single. Some of you going into marriage unprepared are nut case.

I dislike all these unnecessary friendship with the opposite sex that makes a partner uncomfortable, it's stupidity. You sef why did you go physical on her? Is that how to show your masculinity? Let me tell you that the moment you start hitting your wife, she's very prone to cheat on you.

Most of you should go learn silent treatment that's the best weapon to tame any woman.

Bro na cho cho cho you dey talk
Until you experience what op is currently going through, dont assume his method is wrong.

Its indeed easier said than done.