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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone (1213 Views)
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Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Opanka44(m): 10:44am On Jul 31 |
I don't know if I'm normal or it's due to my upbringing, I'm not emotionally attached to any member of my family, not even a lady or friend 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Balablue64: 10:56am On Jul 31 |
It's normal I'm just like you, you don't need to heal. You see in this life people are bad and terrible and the moment you realize that it will help you, i have been through many shitts in my life and i tell you the best thing to do is to be as emotionally detached as possible from people, i don't trust anyone and I'm grateful to all the people who treated me bad in the past because they have helped to shape a better me. Some emotions make you weak while some makes you strong. 10 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Sandralight(f): 11:04am On Jul 31 |
It's really how the people who are supposed to care for us abuse us, you were just a kid, the time you need nurturing and care and all you have is abuse. I will suggest if you have some money, you can get a therapist to talk to, talking about it and understanding It's not your fault will go a long way. If you can't afford a therapist, you can talk to your friends, you are a adult now and though you experience such abuse, that shouldn't determine your life, try to build more friendships, forget your Aunty and her children, don't dwell on Karma visiting them because then you won't be able to move on from the hurt. I am sure your Aunty have her own version of events where she is the hero that took you in after your father death, she will claim she feed and house you even tho you pay back by basically been an houseboy. She will never admit she did you wrong and her children will always support her. So just try and heal and move on, once you let go of the hurt, your heart will be filled with love, just know "One small crack doesn't mean you are broken, it means you were put to the test and you didn't fall apart" 6 Likes |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Opanka44(m): 11:05am On Jul 31 |
Balablue64: Thanks for your advice Sir. It is well with us 1 Like |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Opanka44(m): 11:06am On Jul 31 |
Sandralight: Thanks so much. I appreciate you a lot. God bless you 3 Likes |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by ZaraIhua(f): 11:09am On Jul 31 |
I understand your situation, I pray you find help. Even though being an emotionally detached person can be helpful in most situations especially in this wicked world. It's still important to feel things, be emotional and vulnerable. That's part of being human. Being vulnerable and emotional can be refreshing especially if you have a someone who's genuine, comforting and pure. It only hurts (badly) if those around you are hostile, inconsiderate and uncaring . That's when detaching comes up. There are trustworthy people out there (though they are few), not everyone is out to hurt you. Don't let your past and some wicked people deprive you of happiness I do not know much, but I this I know. 4 Likes |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Balablue64: 11:14am On Jul 31 |
Opanka44: It's alright just fake a smile to deceive them but deep inside you don't trust them. They don't trust you by the way. 4 Likes |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by OKOATA(m): 1:18pm On Jul 31 |
I used to have a wicked step mother, anytime my pops was out she would maltreat me. Sometimes she would give me left overs eaten by rats in the cupboard. The woman would beat me till I pooped on my body. She would warn me many times not to tell my dad. One day as she was beating me, I raised her up by her legs and hit the MF so hard on the ground. I was around 7yrs or so at that time. She screamed and I never cared. When my dad came she told him what happened my dad called me and I told her all she's been doing to me while he was away. All of these happened within a year she and my dad were together. God so good my dad sent her out that night. Now I have moved past all these and it doesn't affect me anymore. Now do this, call your mom or go to see her. Tell her all you went through as a child and how she abandoned you to suffer. Vent all of your anger or worries on her and you will be free. Meet with friends and discuss all has happened to you and I promise that you will be free. Many people out there faced worse things than you. As much as you keep telling people the burden will reduce from your mind and for your aunts she will suffer her own too. 4 Likes |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by wahaladondey: 1:25pm On Jul 31 |
Step one is acknowledging the existence of the problem, 1 Like |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by wahaladondey: 1:26pm On Jul 31 |
Step one is acknowledging the existence of the problem, you seem to have done that well enough. Now figure out step two consciously. 1 Like |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Sterlingdgreat: 1:49pm On Jul 31 |
When you make it in life, she will still think you are her product 1 Like |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by FRANCISTOWN: 1:50pm On Jul 31 |
I don't see how this is a problem. Why should I be emotionally attached to anyone? 3 Likes |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Atolu01: 2:11pm On Jul 31 |
Help her ke. 1 Like |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Opanka44(m): 2:35pm On Jul 31 |
Atolu01: Hmmmm |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Opanka44(m): 2:39pm On Jul 31 |
Sterlingdgreat: Exactly. And that's what I hate. In fact, she will start telling people how she trained me sch, how she fed and clothed me. Truth is, she never paid my fees once. Never. She never bought me any clothes at any time. I was so meticulous with records at age 10. I had a small pocket diary that I was writing everything transpiring daily at that time |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by pansophist(m): 2:47pm On Jul 31 |
You are normal. You are asexual. Asexual people are not sexually attracted to others in most case. 2 Likes |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Nyascobar1414: 2:47pm On Jul 31 |
wahaladondey:.. All these yearsπ½.. Man you aware 1 Like |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by okoroemeka(m): 3:14pm On Jul 31 |
Opanka44:it is very possible it is PTSD from the way you are brought up,nobody will pass through such ordeals and be ready to trust anybody,be yourself and don't give a flying fvck about anybody,you are a survivor stay that way 4 Likes |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Sapasenator: 3:31pm On Jul 31 |
You should have gone to learn a good trade instead of going to the university. At this point you will be needing counseling to heal from the trauma. |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Anguldi(m): 3:41pm On Jul 31 |
OKOATA: Na man you be π₯π― 1 Like |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by 1Sharon(f): 3:51pm On Jul 31 |
pansophist: *Attached, not attracted. |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Opanka44(m): 3:57pm On Jul 31 |
okoroemeka: Thanks so much. Your words have given me enough strength. My vigor is renewed. 1 Like |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by abul101: 4:54pm On Jul 31 |
What kind of help do you need? 1 Like |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 5:01pm On Jul 31 |
pansophist: You no go read the body of the message well. You sha wan comment. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Opanka44(m): 5:29pm On Jul 31 |
UyaiIncomparabl: Honestly. I suprised at the comments myself and I couldn't bother replying |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Opanka44(m): 5:31pm On Jul 31 |
abul101: Thanks for your question. I need help to stand on my feet as regards finance to get whiteboards and markers for my Summer lessons. I have already secured a building for this. Thanks to a good Samaritan that offered me the place. But he said, with time, as I make progress, I will to be making some payments to him for renting out his uncompleted building to me for the lesson 1 Like |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Sterlingdgreat: 6:05pm On Jul 31 |
Opanka44: My case was worse You are lucky it was your Aunt. For me, I was an house boy. They never paid a dime for my schooling nor paid me any salary instead they sent me to a public school. Their children are attending very expensive primary school like 500k a term for 2 kids as at 2012,13,14. If I start narrating my own part of the story, you will begin to weep for. At the long run, they disposed me tactically after they secured an admission for me in an expensive state school that my parents can't afford. Asked me to go and source for fund, they will balance the rest. Na so I kuku stayed back. The wife tried to be in contact with me but I boned her. Calling me without sending a dime to me was a total waste It was all my fault cos I was the one who was eager to go to Lagos. Till today I'm yet to fully recover from the brain drain I experienced. I started forgetting things, my speech became deformed, hardly make friends, low self esteem and others but right now I am overgrowing it due to maturity 1 Like |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by Sapasenator: 6:13pm On Jul 31 |
Sterlingdgreat: My cousin lived with us growing up and was treated like the rest of the family by my mom. At some point, he did not want to return to his mom again. I wonder what some women gain from being mean. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help: I'm Not Attached To Anyone by MrBrownJay1(m): 8:09pm On Aug 01 |
Opanka44: ALL YOU NL FRAUDSTERS WITH VARIOUS PROFILES AND YEYE BEGGING STORIES...WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE!!! OLODO!!! in june, you needed 120k for your rent, now its blackboards for school, BWAAAAAAAAh! aint you the same one below with all the various profiles (with exact same bank account) and various yeye stories for begging? : Opanka44: Jimmur: MisterBanny: if still in doubt, check the below thread where i busted him last month, he has been posting yeye stories on NL since 2022: https://www.nairaland.com/8043853/plights-predicaments-travails#129141610 2 Likes |
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