I don't know if I'm normal or it's due to my upbringing, I'm not emotionally attached to any member of my family, not even a lady or friend

It's normal I'm just like you,
you don't need to heal.
You see in this life people are bad and terrible and the moment you realize that it will help you, i have been through many shitts in my life and i tell you the best thing to do is to be as emotionally detached as possible from people, i don't trust anyone and I'm grateful to all the people who treated me bad in the past because they have helped to shape a better me.
Some emotions make you weak while some makes you strong.

It's really how the people who are supposed to care for us abuse us, you were just a kid, the time you need nurturing and care and all you have is abuse.
I will suggest if you have some money, you can get a therapist to talk to, talking about it and understanding It's not your fault will go a long way.

If you can't afford a therapist, you can talk to your friends, you are a adult now and though you experience such abuse, that shouldn't determine your life, try to build more friendships, forget your Aunty and her children, don't dwell on Karma visiting them because then you won't be able to move on from the hurt.

I am sure your Aunty have her own version of events where she is the hero that took you in after your father death, she will claim she feed and house you even tho you pay back by basically been an houseboy.
She will never admit she did you wrong and her children will always support her.

So just try and heal and move on, once you let go of the hurt, your heart will be filled with love, just know
"One small crack doesn't mean you are broken, it means you were put to the test and you didn't fall apart"

Balablue64:
It's normal I'm just like you,
you don't need to heal.
You see in this life people are bad and terrible and the moment you realize that it will help you, i have been through many shitts in my life and i tell you the best thing to do is to be as emotionally detached as possible from people, i don't trust anyone and I'm grateful to all the people who treated me bad in the past because they have helped to shape a better me.
Some emotions make you weak while some makes you strong.

Thanks for your advice Sir. It is well with us

Sandralight:
It's really how the people who are supposed to care for us abuse us, you were just a kid, the time you need nurturing and care and all you have is abuse.
I will suggest if you have some money, you can get a therapist to talk to, talking about it and understanding It's not your fault will go a long way.

If you can't afford a therapist, you can talk to your friends, you are a adult now and though you experience such abuse, that shouldn't determine your life, try to build more friendships, forget your Aunty and her children, don't dwell on Karma visiting them because then you won't be able to move on from the hurt.

I am sure your Aunty have her own version of events where she is the hero that took you in after your father death, she will claim she feed and house you even tho you pay back by basically been an houseboy.
She will never admit she did you wrong and her children will always support her.

So just try and heal and move on, once you let go of the hurt, your heart will be filled with love, just know
"One small crack doesn't mean you are broken, it means you were put to the test and you didn't fall apart"

Thanks so much. I appreciate you a lot. God bless you

I understand your situation, I pray you find help.

Even though being an emotionally detached person can be helpful in most situations especially in this wicked world. It's still important to feel things, be emotional and vulnerable. That's part of being human. Being vulnerable and emotional can be refreshing especially if you have a someone who's genuine, comforting and pure. It only hurts (badly) if those around you are hostile, inconsiderate and uncaring . That's when detaching comes up.

There are trustworthy people out there (though they are few), not everyone is out to hurt you. Don't let your past and some wicked people deprive you of happiness

I do not know much, but I this I know.

Opanka44:


Thanks for your advice Sir. It is well with us

It's alright just fake a smile to deceive them but deep inside you don't trust them. They don't trust you by the way.

I used to have a wicked step mother, anytime my pops was out she would maltreat me. Sometimes she would give me left overs eaten by rats in the cupboard. The woman would beat me till I pooped on my body. She would warn me many times not to tell my dad.

One day as she was beating me, I raised her up by her legs and hit the MF so hard on the ground. I was around 7yrs or so at that time. She screamed and I never cared. When my dad came she told him what happened my dad called me and I told her all she's been doing to me while he was away. All of these happened within a year she and my dad were together.

God so good my dad sent her out that night. Now I have moved past all these and it doesn't affect me anymore.

Now do this, call your mom or go to see her. Tell her all you went through as a child and how she abandoned you to suffer. Vent all of your anger or worries on her and you will be free. Meet with friends and discuss all has happened to you and I promise that you will be free. Many people out there faced worse things than you. As much as you keep telling people the burden will reduce from your mind and for your aunts she will suffer her own too.

Step one is acknowledging the existence of the problem,

Step one is acknowledging the existence of the problem, you seem to have done that well enough. Now figure out step two consciously.

When you make it in life, she will still think you are her product

I don't see how this is a problem. Why should I be emotionally attached to anyone?

Help her ke.

Atolu01:
Help her ke.

Hmmmm

Sterlingdgreat:
When you make it in life, she will still think you are her product

Exactly. And that's what I hate. In fact, she will start telling people how she trained me sch, how she fed and clothed me. Truth is, she never paid my fees once. Never. She never bought me any clothes at any time. I was so meticulous with records at age 10. I had a small pocket diary that I was writing everything transpiring daily at that time

You are normal. You are asexual. Asexual people are not sexually attracted to others in most case.

wahaladondey:
Step one is acknowledging the existence of the problem,

..
All these years👽..
Man you aware

Opanka44:


Thanks for your advice Sir. It is well with us

it is very possible it is PTSD from the way you are brought up,nobody will pass through such ordeals and be ready to trust anybody,be yourself and don't give a flying fvck about anybody,you are a survivor stay that way

You should have gone to learn a good trade instead of going to the university. At this point you will be needing counseling to heal from the trauma.

OKOATA:
I used to have a wicked step mother, anything my pops was out she would maltreat me. Sometimes she would give me left overs eaten by rats in the cupboard. The woman would beat me till I pooped on my body. She would warn me many times not to tell my dad.

One day as she was beating me, I raised her up by her legs and hit the MF so hard on the ground. I was around 7yrs or so at that time. She screamed and I never cared. When my dad came she told him what happened my dad called me and I told her all she's been doing to me while he was away. All of these happened within a year she and my dad were together.

God so good my dad sent her out that night. Now I have moved past all these and it doesn't affect me anymore.

Now do this, call your mom or go to see her. Tell her all you went through as a child and how she abandoned you to suffer. Vent all of your anger or worries on her and you will be free. Meet with friends and discuss all has happened to you and I promise that you will be free. Many people out there faced worse things than you. As much as you keep telling people the burden will reduce from your mind and for your aunts she will suffer her own too.

Na man you be 🔥💯

pansophist:
You are normal. You are asexual. Asexual people are not sexually attracted to others in most case.

*Attached, not attracted.

okoroemeka:
it is very possible it is PTSD from the way you are brought up,nobody will pass through such ordeals and be ready to trust anybody,be yourself and don't give a flying fvck about anybody,you are a survivor stay that way

Thanks so much. Your words have given me enough strength. My vigor is renewed.

What kind of help do you need?

pansophist:
You are normal. You are asexual. Asexual people are not sexually attracted to others in most case.

You no go read the body of the message well. You sha wan comment.

UyaiIncomparabl:


You no go read the body of the message well. You sha wan comment.

Honestly. I suprised at the comments myself and I couldn't bother replying

abul101:
What kind of help do you need?

Thanks for your question. I need help to stand on my feet as regards finance to get whiteboards and markers for my Summer lessons. I have already secured a building for this. Thanks to a good Samaritan that offered me the place. But he said, with time, as I make progress, I will to be making some payments to him for renting out his uncompleted building to me for the lesson

Opanka44:


Exactly. And that's what I hate. In fact, she will start telling people how she trained me sch, how she fed and clothed me. Truth is, she never paid my fees once. Never. She never bought me any clothes at any time. I was so meticulous with records at age 10. I had a small pocket diary that I was writing everything transpiring daily at that time

My case was worse
You are lucky it was your Aunt. For me, I was an house boy. They never paid a dime for my schooling nor paid me any salary instead they sent me to a public school. Their children are attending very expensive primary school like 500k a term for 2 kids as at 2012,13,14.

If I start narrating my own part of the story, you will begin to weep for. At the long run, they disposed me tactically after they secured an admission for me in an expensive state school that my parents can't afford. Asked me to go and source for fund, they will balance the rest. Na so I kuku stayed back.

The wife tried to be in contact with me but I boned her. Calling me without sending a dime to me was a total waste

It was all my fault cos I was the one who was eager to go to Lagos. Till today I'm yet to fully recover from the brain drain I experienced. I started forgetting things, my speech became deformed, hardly make friends, low self esteem and others but right now I am overgrowing it due to maturity

Sterlingdgreat:



My case was worse
You are lucky it was your Aunt. For me, I was an house boy. They never paid a dime for my schooling nor paid me any salary instead they sent me to a public school. Their children are attending very expensive primary school like 500k a term for 2 kids as at 2012,13,14.

If I start narrating my own part of the story, you will begin to weep for. At the long run, they disposed me tactically after they secured an admission for me in an expensive state school that my parents can't afford. Asked me to go and source for fund, they will balance the rest. Na so I kuku stayed back.

The wife tried to be in contact with me but I boned her. Calling me without sending a dime to me was a total waste

It was all my fault cos I was the one who was eager to go to Lagos. Till today I'm yet to fully recover from the brain drain I experienced. I started forgetting things, my speech became deformed, hardly make friends, low self esteem and others but right now I am overgrowing it due to maturity

My cousin lived with us growing up and was treated like the rest of the family by my mom. At some point, he did not want to return to his mom again. I wonder what some women gain from being mean.

Opanka44:
I don't know if I'm normal or it's due to my upbringing, I'm not emotionally attached to any member of my family, not even a lady or friend.
While I was 9years old, I started living with an Aunt. The aunt took me in when I lost my dad and my mum couldn't help us her children. As a matter of fact, my mum remarried two years after the death of my dad. While I lived with my Anty, I was severely maltreated and mistreated. I was just like a houseboy. I wouldn't even be allowed to travel to the village to greet and bond with my mum. I would do all the house chores including, washing the dishes, washing the toilets, Going to the market to buy food items and cooking, mopping the entire house, and most tedious was fetching water from the wells which were very far from the house. In a day, I would fill up to 600litres of water for domestic use. After that, I would go fetch the one for drinking. I Did all these even without a wheelbarrow to carry these heavy 20litre kegs at that age. My anty has 6children. And I was doing all these while the children did nothing.
My mum wanted me to leave, but I refused since there were no good schls in the village. I so much loved education and I wanted the best form of education. I would need to do all these chores before leaving for sch everyday else I'm in trouble. I didn't get anything good in return for my hardwork. My sch fees was never paid by my Anty throughout my secondary education.
I was alienated from the rest of her children. I was insulted severally. I was emotionally, psychologically, mentally and physically abused and tortured. I was treated like a slave. I began to ask God why he created me to suffer this way. I wouldn't even be allowed to stay in the parlor and watch movies with my Antys children when she is around and in the parlor. I wouldn't dare sit on the long bench she sat no matter the space on the bench. I dare not talk. I couldn't defend myself.
All these affected my upbringing and hindered me from having cordial relationships with people. My social life was non-existent. Till date, I feel like people hate me and there's no point associating with people. I get angry easily and I read meanings to even the simplest stuffs. I can't even maintain a relationship.
After graduation from the university, I left the house. My Anty never sent me a dime while I was at sch. I remember she only gave me 3k when I was writing my project.
Till now, I feel like I was used throughout my childhood. I have cut all ties with her and her children. My siblings are all younger than me since I'm the first born. I can stay for a whole year without calling my siblings. They feel I hate them and I don't see them as part of me. Though this isn't true at all. I love them. But my upbringing is affecting me. I don't call my mum and I also hardly pick her calls. Sometimes I even block her from calling me. Sometimes I refuse to pick her calls for Months, she gets worried. She keeps asking me why I'm doing all these to her and wants to know where she has offended me so she can seek for forgiveness. But I've always told her that she has never offended me in any way. I know I'm wrong, and I pray for divine help to change. Glad I'm changing already.
I'm trying to let go of this, but it's not easy. The only positive is that I can now maintain my house and always be clean. I don't stay out late wherever I go to, I return on time.
I can't tell a friend all of this story because people can change later and use such revelations against you. They may even start looking down on your person.
Life is really hard. Very hard and I need all the help I can from you all.

How do I heal completely?

I'm praying that I become successful so I can visit them one day, not to display and show that I have made it but to help her and tell her that God is the only one that rules In the affairs of Men. He alone knows the end from the beginning.
I'm just a private sch teacher with 32k salary. I pay my rent, feed, transport and help my siblings from some salary here on the outskirts of Abuja. I need to double up on my finances. I need two whiteboards for my extramural summer tutorials. I don't have the means to acquire them,pls help me. Eve after the holidays,the classes continue, thereby bringing additional income. Pls help me

ALL YOU NL FRAUDSTERS WITH VARIOUS PROFILES AND YEYE BEGGING STORIES...WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE!!! OLODO!!! in june, you needed 120k for your rent, now its blackboards for school, BWAAAAAAAAh!
aint you the same one below with all the various profiles (with exact same bank account) and various yeye stories for begging? :

Opanka44:
Good afternoon brothers and sisters, pls i want to beg anyone here in Allah's name to pls help me with something to use in buying foodstuffs to cook and eat. Haven't eaten for three days now.
813-150-5075 Opay
God bless you

Jimmur:
Pls who will now gift me something to feed on. The hunger has caused me depression, anxiety and total sadness. I'm in despair. Someone pls help me. Nothing is too small. God bless the giver.
813-150-5075 OPAY
🙏🙏🙏

MisterBanny:

81-3-15-0-5-075 OPAY.
It will help in no small measure sir. I'll buy a Mudu of white beans, buy sweet potatoes and refill my gas. Haven't eaten today. God bless and increase you in all you do sir. Amen

if still in doubt, check the below thread where i busted him last month, he has been posting yeye stories on NL since 2022:
https://www.nairaland.com/8043853/plights-predicaments-travails#129141610