folake4u:


About the bolded, we've seen times without number that there exist some men who aren't comfortable in women earning more than them because of ego issues. Also, some men have stated their preference about their partner being a full time house wife, making the woman abandon her budding career.

I'd still stand on my word that there are some men that feel insecure around women that are doing well for themselves.

Dressing the part for self esteem is a confidence booster, and it should be done by both genders.

About dressing out to outdo the next woman? That I cannot say because it doesn't apply to all females. Matter of fact, it doesn't apply to one gender alone. Men size their fellow men to gauge their level of wealth and sometimes in secret competition with each other.

There, I said it.

Gbam! Times over some have said it right here. If we want to use NL as case study.

siofra:
Shut the fūck up!

No one wants to date you in the first place

don't mind him, koboless man

pocohantas:


Gbam! Times over some have said it right here. If we want to use NL as case study.

I know right.

My friend is in talking stage with a man and he told her straight up that if they get married, she'd resign from her job to be a full time house wife. This is someone who's a lawyer, has an MBA from Lagos Business School, and currently doing her Online Masters from a foreign University. All these achievements and she's not even 25 yet.

She was shocked, I told her she never see anything yet.

folake4u:


I know right.

My friend is in talking stage with a man and he told her straight up that if they get married, she'd resign from her job to be a full time house wife. This is someone who's a lawyer, has an MBA from Lagos Business School, and currently doing her Online Masters from a foreign University. All these achievements and she's not even 25 yet.

She was shocked, I told her she never see anything yet.

Why not marry the one that doesn't want to work? I don't understand why they go for working women and make them resign.

Isn't this wizardry? I am sure that man is related to Tallesty.

pocohantas:


Why not marry the one that doesn't want to work? I don't understand why they go for working women and make them resign.

Isn't this wizardry? I am sure that man is related to Tallesty.

I know right. They won't go and meet the ladies that want to be full time housewives, instead they target working class women and try to subdue them for their insincere intent.

Some men are like an exotic bird collector, they only want women who are free because their dream is to put her in a cage.


😂😂😂 E fit be him elder brother sef.

folake4u:


About the bolded, we've seen times without number that there exist some men who aren't comfortable in women earning more than them because of ego issues. Also, some men have stated their preference about their partner being a full time house wife, making the woman abandon her budding career.

I'd still stand on my word that there are some men that feel insecure around women that are doing well for themselves.

Dressing the part for self esteem is a confidence booster, and it should be imbibed by both gender.

About dressing to outdo the next woman? That I cannot say because it doesn't apply to all females. Matter of fact, it doesn't apply to one gender alone. Men size their fellow men to gauge their level of wealth and sometimes in secret competition with each other.

There, I said it.

A man who asks his wife to abandon her career is acting selfishly; he wouldn’t have chosen her if he were truly insecure or intimidated by her financial success.

Men and women typically seek different qualities in a partner. Regardless of a woman's financial status, she often looks for a man who can provide. On the other hand, many men don’t place much value on a woman’s money because, in most cases, it doesn’t directly benefit them.

There are situations where a woman earns a good salary, but the man still shoulders the financial responsibilities. For such men, the woman’s job, money, or career holds no value in their lives.

If a woman is working but not contributing financially, and the household isn’t being managed properly because of her job, the man can tell her to quit or leave.

In some cases that they hire help because she’s working, it’s often the man who pays for it. After all, her money is considered her own.

If a man wants a housewife and is fully prepared to provide and protect, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s simply his preference, just as some women prefer men who can provide and protect.

The real issue is that women set their own standards, but when a man sets his, he’s often labeled as insecure or intimidated.

But that’s not the case at all.

Tallesty1:
A man who asks his wife to abandon her career is acting selfishly; he wouldn’t have chosen her if he were truly insecure or intimidated by her financial success.

Men and women typically seek different qualities in a partner. Regardless of a woman's financial status, she often looks for a man who can provide. On the other hand, many men don’t place much value on a woman’s money because, in most cases, it doesn’t directly benefit them.

There are situations where a woman earns a good salary, but the man still shoulders the financial responsibilities. For such men, the woman’s job, money, or career holds no value in their lives.

If a woman is working but not contributing financially, and the household isn’t being managed properly because of her job, the man can tell her to quit or leave.

In some cases that they hire help because she’s working, it’s often the man who pays for it. After all, her money is considered her own.

If a man wants a housewife and is fully prepared to provide and protect, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s simply his preference, just as some women prefer men who can provide and protect.

The real issue is that women set their own standards, but when a man sets his, he’s often labeled as insecure or intimidated.

But that’s not the case at all.

I'm glad that you acknowledged that a man who asks his wife to abandon her career is selfish. However, this happens a lot.

@ the bolded. I thought Marriage was meant to be a partnership? There are lot of marriages that women contribute immensely to the family growth. And if he feels that she's not playing her role, it is something that can be discussed as a couple. Communication is still KEY.

As a matter of fact, I do not subscribe to the idea of a man telling his wife to quit her job because he "feels" she's not managing the home front well. If at all that should happen, it should be on HER OWN TERMS otherwise, there will be resentment on her part. It really isn't easy for a career woman to take a pause from her career to focus on the family, by the time she's spent substantial amount of years raising the kids and want to resume the work force, a lot of changes have happened and how is she going to explain the career gap to hiring agencies?

Infact all these talks about finances and responsibilities are part of courtship questions that many couples these days shy away from, rather they focus on chaff and not the wheat. It's best the talks start from this stage so you actually know what you're heading into.

If a man wants a house wife, I see nothing wrong with that actually. My own is that he should also find a woman who consents, is willing, ready and loves being a house wife. In simple terms, there's agreement on both parties and no coercion from a single party.

It is good for women to set their standards. And it is also good for men to set their standards and have preference. The point I'm trying to make is that let there be a consensus ad idem; a meeting of the mind with clear mutual understanding from both sides.

Look for the person that wants what you want as well. Period!

folake4u:


I know right.

My friend is in talking stage with a man and he told her straight up that if they get married, she'd resign from her job to be a full time house wife. This is someone who's a lawyer, has an MBA from Lagos Business School, and currently doing her Online Masters from a foreign University. All these achievements and she's not even 25 yet.

She was shocked, I told her she never see anything yet.

Damn!..

If she doesn't want to take it further with him, I'm available.

folake4u:


I know right.

My friend is in talking stage with a man and he told her straight up that if they get married, she'd resign from her job to be a full time house wife. This is someone who's a lawyer, has an MBA from Lagos Business School, and currently doing her Online Masters from a foreign University. All these achievements and she's not even 25 yet.

She was shocked, I told her she never see anything yet.

I am curious, what happens when she begins childbearing?

You see, this discussion is part of the reasons there is a low birthrate across the developed world with many modern day women declining to be in a relationship till their 30s, by then their chances of having children dwindle and marital options dry up. As we once discussed, the Motherhood Tax/Penalty is the major cause for differences in salaries between both genders in the same industry.

My point is: modern day women have to make a clear choice between being married and having children versus being career-focused. Unfortunately, both cannot work at the same time in MOST cases and across different parts of the world. What policymakers can do is promote policies that will enable working mothers to return seamlessly to the workforce, as this will endear higher fertility rates. The other option is for these women to reduce their hypergamy and marry men who they out-earn (and the men agree to such an arrangement too).

"Why Women Still Can’t Have It All" - Anne-Marie Slaughter: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-cant-have-it-all/309020/

---

This your friend with an MBA from LBS, I am curious, which places has she worked 'cos 25 is pretty young to obtain a quality MBA. Correct me if I am wrong, but she graduated from CU or Babcock or maybe ABUAD?

siofra:
Shut the fūck up!

No one wants to date you in the first place

Go get a job, been a liability is only a title for the f*u*u*l*s

Proserpina:
Lol if I no barb gorimapa as single what makes you think a boyfriend will make me? .

Boyfriend will look for extra job ni

Inner beauty ko,X-ray beauty ni

Extra job for head wey never dey productive to even take care of her hair? Una dey talk oooo, wetin dey give jna mind? Hollywood and Nollywood fantasies?

Proserpina:
At bolded , this is because we don't see it necessary to add to the conversation or beat chest about it like you 1k subscription sender come to do on Nl.

[b]We both know we don't depend on men and men's contribution is extra not major (at least until marriage) [/b]so why do we need to state the obvious. You should really change your environment, not all ladies can't take care of themselves. Okay?

BTW if you like barb your banny's head like a mannequin nothing concern me.

Relationship is employment opportunities crew activist, imagine you been proud to be a parasite. No near me the way I go buy raid spray you

All these ladies walking to and fro looking for whom to devour , make I work hard so u go become parasite to me , na who dey sippy una weed? Nollywood or Hollywood?

Gerrard59:

I am curious, what happens when she begins childbearing?

You see, this discussion is part of the reasons there is a low birthrate across the developed world with many modern day women declining to be in a relationship till their 30s, by then their chances of having children dwindle and marital options dry up. As we once discussed, the Motherhood Tax/Penalty is the major cause for differences in salaries between both genders in the same industry.

My point is: modern day women have to make a clear choice between being married and having children versus being career-focused. Unfortunately, both cannot work at the same time in MOST cases and across different parts of the world. What policymakers can do is promote policies that will enable working mothers to return seamlessly to the workforce, as this will endear higher fertility rates. The other option is for these women to reduce their hypergamy and marry men who they out-earn (and the men agree to such an arrangement too).

"Why Women Still Can’t Have It All" - Anne-Marie Slaughter: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-cant-have-it-all/309020/

---

This your friend with an MBA from LBS, I am curious, which places has she worked 'cos 25 is pretty young to obtain a quality MBA. Correct me if I am wrong, but she graduated from CU or Babcock or maybe ABUAD?

What do you mean when she reaches childbearing? And who says the modern woman have to choose between being married and having children versus being career-focused? It can work if the husband is also supportive, they could also employ a help to assist with work at home. It worked for me and many others. So I don't see any reason why women have to choose?

She's worked in law firms and a multinational company. Oh yes, Babcock University. She isn't even 25 yet.

Lorayne:


Damn!..

If she doesn't want to take it further with him, I'm available.

Hahahaha if you nor get money......

pocohantas:


Why not marry the one that doesn't want to work? I don't understand why they go for working women and make them resign.

Isn't this wizardry? I am sure that man is related to Tallesty.

😂 😂 😂 😂


You just dey find trouble

folake4u:


I'm glad that you acknowledged that a man who asks his wife to abandon her career is selfish. However, this happens a lot.

@ the bolded. I thought Marriage was meant to be a partnership? There are lot of marriages that women contribute immensely to the family growth. And if he feels that she's not playing her role, it is something that can be discussed as a couple. Communication is still KEY.

As a matter of fact, I do not subscribe to the idea of a man telling his wife to quit her job because he "feels" she's not managing the home front well. If at all that should happen, it should be on HER OWN TERMS otherwise, there will be resentment on her part. It really isn't easy for a career woman to take a pause from her career to focus on the family, by the time she's spent substantial amount of years raising the kids and want to resume the work force, a lot of changes have happened and how is she going to explain the career gap to hiring agencies?

Infact all these talks about finances and responsibilities are part of courtship questions that many couples these days shy away from, rather they focus on chaff and not the wheat. It's best the talks start from this stage so you actually know what you're heading into.

If a man wants a house wife, I see nothing wrong with that actually. My own is that he should also find a woman who consents, is willing, ready and loves being a house wife. In simple terms, there's agreement on both parties and no coercion from a single party.

It is good for women to set their standards. And it is also good for men to set their standards and have preference. The point I'm trying to make is that let there be a consensus ad idem; a meeting of the mind with clear mutual understanding from both sides.

Look for the person that wants what you want as well. Period!

There’s a lot I could talk about here, but let me zero in on the emboldened.

You can’t have everything in life. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. My grandfather always said that when you’re chasing something important, you must pass by other important things along the way.

Marriage isn’t something you just do because you feel like it or because everyone else is doing it. Before you tie the knot, you need to realize you’re starting a small society of your own, and that comes with sacrifices.

If you put your family first, your career might take a hit. If you put your career first, your family might suffer. Sure, some people manage to balance both, but let’s be honest—they’re the exception, not the rule. Whatever you choose means you’re giving up something else. If you don't want to have a gap in your career and there is no other way to go about it then focus on your career and leave having kids. Life is easy, na Oliver twist spirit dey complicate matters.

A man’s primary job is to provide for and protect his family. It doesn’t matter what else he has going on—if he doesn’t do that, he’s not fulfilling his role. And the same goes for a woman; if she doesn’t handle her responsibilities within the family, she’s falling short too.

That’s why I say if you’re not ready to put in the work to raise kids who’ll be a blessing to society and not a burden, then maybe it’s better to just enjoy your life and skip the whole parenting thing.

Some people try to have it all by hiring help. That’s fine and might even be necessary, but it’s not always ideal. They often say they’re working hard to give their kids the best, which might be true, but let’s be real—sometimes it’s also about fulfilling their own desires.

In some sad cases, the kids they worked so hard for end up getting swallowed by society because they weren’t properly prepared for life. The parents prepared life for them without preparating them for life 😂 😂. If you can’t make the sacrifices needed to raise good kids, maybe it’s better not to have them at all.

Now back to the topic, If a man is fulfilling his responsibilities in the family, but the woman isn’t because of her job, and he ends up paying for the help she needs to manage the household, then what value does her job really add to him?

Why should he respect her career or feel obligated to support her professional growth if it doesn’t contribute to the family's well-being?

Na question unah no wan answer be this.

folake4u:

What do you mean when she reaches childbearing? And who says the modern woman have to choose between being married and having children versus being career-focused?

Well, the numbers say women have to choose, especially in the nascent years of the child.

It can work if the husband is also supportive, they could also employ a help to assist with work at home.

The advantage Nigeria and countries abut to poorer neighbours have compared to other developed nations. Daycare is very expensive. I recall mentioning to Ednut that parents from both side can be drafted in from Nigeria. Bros replied with it "what if dem don die"?

It worked for me and many others.

You don marry?

So I don't see any reason why women have to choose?

Honest question, did you at least glance through the article I linked in the previous post?

P.S. Thanks for the answer. Not surprised. The trajectory answers it. UNILAG and to an extent UI and maybe just OAU will be the public universities that could have such an alumna these days.

idahme:



Relationship is employment opportunities crew activist, imagine you been proud to be a parasite. No near me the way I go buy raid spray you

All these ladies walking to and fro looking for whom to devour , make I work hard so u go become parasite to me , na who dey sippy una weed? Nollywood or Hollywood?

Take several seats backward please. You miss the party!

Proserpina:
Take several seats backward please. You miss the party!

Party for a broke woman woman will be a parasite to my pocket ? Never, I better miss am . I only go to parties with people that play in the same football league that I do.

idahme:



Party for a broke woman woman will be a parasite to my pocket ? Never, I better miss am . I only go to parties with people that play in the same football league that I do.

Lol

Sometimes I wonder if you all read to understand or comment. Again take several seats backward.

pocohantas:


Why not marry the one that doesn't want to work? I don't understand why they go for working women and make them resign.

Isn't this wizardry? I am sure that man is related to Tallesty.

Aunty, their men mode above your iQ grade .. among many things we Men bring in women to do as life partner in our is "Management" including financial maagement ...

it is more logocal to assert that a woman who has worked, earned and sustain herself would understand the value of money better, mange finances better and will be more vast at playing a supportive role should the need arise

should hard times come in marriage... a woman that has working experience can dust her CV and get a job quickly compared to ladies that never worked

You think it is easy to have ball swinging btwn ones leg , aunty you lack the mental testosterone to understand certain things jare

Gerrard59:


Well, the numbers say women have to choose, especially in the nascent years of the child.



The advantage Nigeria and countries abut to poorer neighbours have compared to other developed nations. Daycare is very expensive. I recall mentioning to Ednut that parents from both side can be drafted in from Nigeria. Bros replied with it "what if dem don die"?



You don marry?


Honest question, did you at least glance through the article I linked in the previous post?

P.S. Thanks for the answer. Not surprised. The trajectory answers it. UNILAG and to an extent UI and maybe just OAU will be the public universities that could have such an alumna these days.

I still don't see any reason women have to choose.

Also, Daycare is expensive abroad. We all know that, but from my previous response, I was talking about a family based in Nigeria. So getting a nanny, preferably an elderly lady shouldn't be a problem.

Lol, I'm not married. What I meant by that is I grew up with a nanny, my mum's a career woman and she didn't pause her career just because she had us as kids. There was the nanny to support us till we reached a reasonable age. Hence, that worked for me and others who grew up with nannies.

No, I didn't check the article but now that you've mentioned, I'd check it out.

Oh yeah. Private schools are doing well with their students. I have a couple of friends from private schools who have gotten their LLM before reaching 25. Very applaudable.

folake4u:


I still don't see any reason women have to choose.

LOL!

This is wishful thinking, but I digress.

Also, Daycare is expensive abroad. We all know that, but from my previous response, I was talking about a family based in Nigeria. So getting a nanny, preferably an elderly lady shouldn't be a problem.

Okay. Fair enough. A major difference to why women in Singapore advance their careers compared to those in Japan. But cultural differences sha as the Japanese don't like strangers living with them.

Lol, I'm not married. What I meant by that is I grew up with a nanny, my mum's a career woman and she didn't pause her career just because she had us as kids. There was the nanny to support us till we reached a reasonable age. Hence, that worked for me and others who grew up with nannies.

I see. I did not grow up with one, but yes, I agree that the Motherhood Penalty exists as my mom's career rapidly progressed after I was old enough to cook and take of my siblings.

No, I didn't check the article but now that you've mentioned, I'd check it out.

As expected. As hypergamy exists, the Motherhood Tax/Penalty in careers and earnings will continue.

Oh yeah. Private schools are doing well with their students. I have a couple of friends from private schools who have gotten their LLM before reaching 25. Very applaudable.

Good for them, but bad for the country as a whole. The answer will be to decentralise Nigeria's economic hubs so graduates elsewhere can earn a good income and have a thriving career without necessarily being in Lagos. I cannot see how a graduate from Ebonyi or Bauchi will compete with someone who studied and lives in Lagos/Ogun.

Gerrard59:

LOL!

This is wishful thinking, but I digress.

Okay. Fair enough. A major difference to why women in Singapore advance their careers compared to those in Japan. But cultural differences sha as the Japanese don't like strangers living with them.


I see. I did not grow up with one, but yes, I agree that the Motherhood Penalty exists as my mom's career rapidly progressed after I was old enough to cook and take of my siblings.


As expected. As hypergamy exists, the Motherhood Tax/Penalty in careers and earnings will continue.


Good for them, but bad for the country as a whole. The answer will be to decentralise Nigeria's economic hubs so graduates elsewhere can earn a good income and have a thriving career without necessarily being in Lagos. I cannot see how a graduate from Ebonyi or Bauchi will compete with someone who studied and lives in Lagos/Ogun.

Omo. Make every family do wetin go work for them abeg.

Oh wow. The Japanese women do not like strangers living with them? Interesting.

You seeeeeeeeeeeee!!! That Motherhood Penalty is so real.

Fair points. Sometimes I wonder how lawyers in Bauchi, Taraba, Zamfara and the rest thrive.

folake4u:

Omo. Make every family do wetin go work for them abeg.
Oh wow. The Japanese women do not like strangers living with them? Interesting.
You seeeeeeeeeeeee!!! That Motherhood Penalty is so real.

Generally, the Japanese don't like strangers to live with them for extended periods. Visit? Yes, but this takes time to even get an invite. Live? Hard hard hard even as a domestic servant. Besides, Japan's neighbours are equally rich. Singapore is different as there is an endless supply from Indonesia and the Philippines. Also, Singapore is English speaking compared to Japan where such people have to learn Japanese. It is a reason the policy of hiring foreigners as domestic servants as introduced by South Korea will likely fail because they exhibit the same characteristics as the Japanese. To prove it, the availability of foreign domestic servants did not improve Singapore and Hong Kong's fertility rates.

Nothing, not daycare or domestic servants, beats the care of a mother.

Fair points. Sometimes I wonder how lawyers in Bauchi, Taraba, Zamfara and the rest thrive.

The best graduates from there move to Lagos (one of Templars' alum had a first class from Unijos). One of the top JAMB scorers in my threads works in Lagos. That said, the government should limit the production of law graduates and tighten admission requirements. It is way too much for a country where the law hardly works.

So of you marry and born girl, you will have her on constant gorimapa?

Tallesty1:
😂 😂 😂 😂You just dey find trouble

My spirit never lies.
Better call that your uncle to order.

Gerrard59:

Generally, the Japanese don't like strangers to live with them for extended periods. Visit? Yes, but this takes time to even get an invite. Live? Hard hard hard even as a domestic servant. Besides, Japan's neighbours are equally rich. Singapore is different as there is an endless supply from Indonesia and the Philippines. Also, Singapore is English speaking compared to Japan where such people have to learn Japanese. It is a reason the policy of hiring foreigners as domestic servants as introduced by South Korea will likely fail because they exhibit the same characteristics as the Japanese. To prove it, the availability of foreign domestic servants did not improve Singapore and Hong Kong's fertility rates.

Nothing, not daycare or domestic servants, beats the care of a mother.


The best graduates from there move to Lagos (one of Templars' alum had a first class from Unijos). One of the top JAMB scorers in my threads works in Lagos. That said, the government should limit the production of law graduates and tighten admission requirements. It is way too much for a country where the law hardly works.

Hmm. This is quite an insightful piece. Thank you for that.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kenneth-o-d-okwor-a6319121?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=android_app

This is Kenneth Okwor. I'm sure that's the Templars person you're referring to. He's no longer in Nigeria sha. He went to Havard and Cambridge, plus married now too.

folake4u:

Hmm. This is quite an insightful piece. Thank you for that.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kenneth-o-d-okwor-a6319121?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=android_app

This is Kenneth Okwor. I'm sure that's the Templars person you're referring to. He's no longer in Nigeria sha. He went to Havard and Cambridge, plus married now too.

Yes, he is the one. I wondered what he scored in WAEC and JAMB. I just need my money to plenty, I will literally raid their offices for facts and figures!

He is a counsel at the IMF. Damn! His compatriot then in the academic brilliance journey is an attorney at Chevron. Girl, those men's brains were hot!

Gerrard59:

Yes, he is the one. I wondered what he scored in WAEC and JAMB. I just need my money to plenty, I will literally raid their offices for facts and figures!

He is a counsel at the IMF. Damn! His compatriot then in the academic brilliance journey is an attorney at Chevron. Girl, those men's brains were hot!

Lol. You can ask him on IG oh. He's a very free person actually.

Kenneth Okwor has always been a brilliant person. I had once pleaded with him to mentor me but his hands were full as at then but I was welcome to message him anytime I needed direction.

The other one at Chevron is Reginald Aziza. But he went to OAU. https://www.linkedin.com/in/reginald-aziza-dphil-law-11301b73?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=android_app

A balanced view is presented