I seriously need your advice on this issue. I'm a guy of 31yrs, and my girlfriend is 29.

She's a very religious and strict lady, and she has the features of a good wife.

The issue I'm currently having with her is that whenever she does or says something against me that I don't like, she will never accept her errors and apologize. She will always stand her ground that she didn't offend me, and can't say sorry.

Often times, I get angry and refuse to talk to her for days, and she won't also make attempt to call or resolve the matter until I later reach out to her for peace. it's really weakening me as a man to always be the one apologizing even when I'm the one being offended.

Last week, while we were on call, she ended the call abruptly on me which really got me pissed off. She claimed it was because I was singing while on the call, and was not listening to what she was saying. This is not really true because we've talked for almost an hour, and at a point their was silence and I was just singing hymns.

When I reached out to her about how offended I was about her action, all I expected was a sorry, rather, she was claiming her right on how she has not offended me.

From that last week up till today, iv not called her, and she hasn't reached out to me for peace. This is a woman we're already making plans on having our wedding by next year.

My main issue with her is the ego, and never ready to apologize unless she feels she's wrong.

I'm seriously tired of all these and I think sorry should be the easiest thing to say for both a man and a woman. I really need your advice.

Run ool

You are in trouble o......

1st paragraph
- how can u as a 31 yrs old be dating a 29 year old woman? Hw she wan take respect U when the age bracket no much??🫤 Abi U no know say she senior u in every other aspects of life aside age?? The grade u should go for are those 19 to 25 while her grade are those men in their 40-50s upward

2nd paragraph
- Being Religious does not mean u wil make a good wife! Religious nd strict lady with a “feature of a good wife“ you claim she has that finds it hard to say ""Sorry"" when wrong? U re seeing the red flags now oo!!

3rd paragraph
- oga this is a very big red flag. RUN!

4th paragraph
- oga, it is either u are a simp, weak man or that lady already knows ur mumu button. She knows u love her more than she does, and trust me, this is just the beginning. You never begin apologize sef.

5th paragraph
- notin I hate for dis life like woman hang call on me when na me call u. That is one height of disrespect u can give me as a woman

6th paragraph
- Red flag! Red flag!! Red flag!!!

7th paragraph
- oga, if u go on to marry dis lady, u wil surely regret it, I bet u. A broken relationship is beta than a broken marriage. End everything nd move on with ur life

8th paragraph
- you never marry her dey complain like dis, what if una later come carry?

9th paragraph
- oga all I can tell u is, that ur woman will never change, not now, not when u two get married. Don't think she will change after marriage! Don't ignore any red flag u see now, if you do, then in few months/years time, we will still be here to read about ur marital issues on Nairaland Frontpage.

Bye

davinchi101:

I seriously need your advice on this issue. I'm a guy of 31yrs, and my girlfriend is 29.

She's a very religious and strict lady, and she has the features of a good wife.

The issue I'm currently having with her is that whenever she does or says something against me that I don't like, she will never accept her errors and apologize. She will always stand her ground that she didn't offend me, and can't say sorry.

Often times, I get angry and refuse to talk to her for days, and she won't also make attempt to call or resolve the matter until I later reach out to her for peace. it's really weakening me as a man to always be the one apologizing even when I'm the one being offended.

Last week, while we were on call, she ended the call abruptly on me which really got me pissed off. She claimed it was because I was singing while on the call, and was not listening to what she was saying. This is not really true because we've talked for almost an hour, and at a point their was silence and I was just singing hymns.

When I reached out to her about how offended I was about her action, all I expected was a sorry, rather, she was claiming her right on how she has not offended me.

From that last week up till today, iv not called her, and she hasn't reached out to me for peace. This is a woman we're already making plans on having our wedding by next year.

My main issue with her is the ego, and never ready to apologize unless she feels she's wrong.

I'm seriously tired of all these and I think sorry should be the easiest thing to say for both a man and a woman. I really need your advice.

If the mission is to get married... Please, my brother in the Lord; Abort Mission!!!

All these complaints about a woman, from the same man that regards her as a good wife?

What else is the definition of double personality disorder?

DiskJokeyManic:
1st paragraph
- how can u as a 31 yrs old be dating a 29 year old woman? Hw she wan take respect U when the age bracket no much??🫤 Abi U no know say she senior u every other aspects of life aside age?? The grade u should go for are those 19 to 25 while her grade are those men in their 40-50s upward

2nd paragraph
- Being Religious does not mean u wil make a good wife! Religious nd strict lady that finds with a feature of a good wife that finds it hard to say ""Sorry"" when wrong? U re seeing the red flags now oo!!

3rd paragraph
- oga this is a very big red flag. RUN!

4th paragraph
- oga, it is either u are a simp, weak man or that lady already knows ur mumu button. She knows u love her more than she does, and trust me, this is just the beginning. You never begin apologize sef.

5th paragraph
- notin I hate for dis life like woman hang call on me when na me call u. That is one height of disrespect u can give me as a woman

6th paragraph
- Red flag! Red flag!! Red flag!!!

7th paragraph
- oga, if u go on to marry dis lady, u wil surely regret it, I bet u. A broken relationship is beta than a broken marriage. End everything nd move on with ur life

8th paragraph
- you never marry her dey complain like dis, what if una later come carry?

9th paragraph
- oga all I can tell u is, that ur woman will never change, not now, not when u two get married. Don't think she will change after marriage! Don't ignore any red flag u see now, if you do, then in few months/years time, we will still be here to read about ur marital issues.

Bye

I feel relieved with your response bro. Thanks alot

This is really challenging, that is women for you they don't take responsibility for their actions you gotta be man enough to put her in her place. From what you have said here, it appeared you are the needy one here and she is aware, reason why she shift the duty of reconciliation and relationship pillar for you alone since you are the lover man.

Check yourself mate, what is it that entice you to her and makes you vulnerable? Do you always want sex? gist etc. check and begin to deal with that particular defect until you can no longer depend on her for it 100%. This is a technique you can use for self defence just incase once you achieve this objective then start giving her fire for fire.
You don't call me I don't call you, dae your dae I dae my dae and if it (friction) continues for a long time and she did not bulge then you are already a free man and can deal with whatever shii she tries to pull.

Marry who loves you more than you love her else OYO

If she really does all these, what then makes her "wife material"

Bro, i dont know how you're gonna survive this in the long run, No be 100m o,na marathon

She knows your weak point already and the fact that she's not ready to put aside her ego for any reason at all, it means it would prolly get worse in the marriage

You sound distressed sef. You should know what to do

If being the one to always apologize is something you see yourself doing forever, I'll say you go for it. 🤷‍♀️

You're planning to spend the rest of your life with someone who refuses to apologize or show vulnerability? That's a recipe for disaster my dear. You can't possibly accept this kind of behavior from her. She sounds like a walking red flag to me, and you sound like someone being subdued. It's not even about being right or wrong. Two crucial pillars in any relationship is empathy and respect and she doesn't seem to embody either of the two.

But all of that is neither here nor there. What you can control right now is how you respond to the situation. Continuing to absorb her behavior and always being the one to apologize will indeed weaken you much more than it already has. You can't fix her ego or force her to apologize.

It's time to reevaluate this relationship and consider whether this is the kind of dynamic you want in a partner. You need to ask yourself if you are willing to tolerate this behavior for the rest of your life. Are you certain this pattern of behaviors will not erode your self-respect and mental health?

Don't write checks you cannot cash my dear. If you'd like, maybe you can call her aside and tell her how you really feel. But if it still doesn't feel right for your mental health, I'd advise you to cut your losses and dip.

davinchi101:

I seriously need your advice on this issue. I'm a guy of 31yrs, and my girlfriend is 29.

She's a very religious and strict lady, and she has the features of a good wife.

The issue I'm currently having with her is that whenever she does or says something against me that I don't like, she will never accept her errors and apologize. She will always stand her ground that she didn't offend me, and can't say sorry.

Often times, I get angry and refuse to talk to her for days, and she won't also make attempt to call or resolve the matter until I later reach out to her for peace. it's really weakening me as a man to always be the one apologizing even when I'm the one being offended.

Last week, while we were on call, she ended the call abruptly on me which really got me pissed off. She claimed it was because I was singing while on the call, and was not listening to what she was saying. This is not really true because we've talked for almost an hour, and at a point their was silence and I was just singing hymns.

When I reached out to her about how offended I was about her action, all I expected was a sorry, rather, she was claiming her right on how she has not offended me.

From that last week up till today, iv not called her, and she hasn't reached out to me for peace. This is a woman we're already making plans on having our wedding by next year.

My main issue with her is the ego, and never ready to apologize unless she feels she's wrong.

I'm seriously tired of all these and I think sorry should be the easiest thing to say for both a man and a woman. I really need your advice.

You are dating yourself

davinchi101:

I seriously need your advice on this issue. I'm a guy of 31yrs, and my girlfriend is 29.

She's a very religious and strict lady, and she has the features of a good wife.

The issue I'm currently having with her is that whenever she does or says something against me that I don't like, she will never accept her errors and apologize. She will always stand her ground that she didn't offend me, and can't say sorry.

Often times, I get angry and refuse to talk to her for days, and she won't also make attempt to call or resolve the matter until I later reach out to her for peace. it's really weakening me as a man to always be the one apologizing even when I'm the one being offended.

Last week, while we were on call, she ended the call abruptly on me which really got me pissed off. She claimed it was because I was singing while on the call, and was not listening to what she was saying. This is not really true because we've talked for almost an hour, and at a point their was silence and I was just singing hymns.

When I reached out to her about how offended I was about her action, all I expected was a sorry, rather, she was claiming her right on how she has not offended me.

From that last week up till today, iv not called her, and she hasn't reached out to me for peace. This is a woman we're already making plans on having our wedding by next year.

My main issue with her is the ego, and never ready to apologize unless she feels she's wrong.

I'm seriously tired of all these and I think sorry should be the easiest thing to say for both a man and a woman. I really need your advice.

Na laugh I just dey laugh because I have been there.
ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY OPTION FOR HER??

Because when a woman starts behaving this way, it means that she doesn't care much about the relationship or you are not a priority.
MAKE SURE THAT SHE'S NOT JUST STRINGING YOU ALONG O.

Women are known to apologise first when they are emotionally involved in a relationship.

I dont think she loves you brother. See if a woman loves you and you don't call her for 1 week. She would call you and asked if it was becos of the argument and she would bury her pride and appologies.

I have an assignment for you.

I think you need to run a loyalty test on her. Bug her phones also. Bug her sms and watch this girl closely.

There is a very big possibility that she is seeing another man.

One of the signs of a lady seeing another man is out right disregards for the man she is dating.

She does not regard you. This is beyond her been stubborn.

JessicaRabbit:
I'd advise you to cut your losses and dip.

I like this your endpoint advise

It looks like a crypto advice, when a man just started crypto trading, instead of seeing green days, na red and blood full everywhere

To Add to this:

Something u cannot change before marraige, know this, u cannot change it, even in marraige, As you have seen her character and corrected her and she has refused to change

My brother Gbawa Door or ga pia tyre

we've talked for almost an hour, and at a point their was silence and I was just singing hymns.

Adults acting like toddlers

When you get bored talking, drop call and rest. Which one be singing hymns when on call

Tueh!

skliz:
I dont think she loves you brother. See if a woman loves you and you don't call her for 1 week. She would call you and asked if it was becos of the argument and she would bury her pride and appologies.

I have an assignment for you.

I think you need to run a loyalty test on her. Bug her phones also. Bug her sms and watch this girl closely.

There is a very big possibility that she is seeing another man.

One of the signs of a lady seeing another man is out right disregards for the man she is dating.

She does not regard you. This is beyond her been stubborn.

No make me laugh. Me and you know say this guy go die of HBP when he finally see wetin you want am to find.
FORGET THAT THING. THE GUY NA GOOD GUY, NO SPOIL HIM MIND

OP, You seem like a good guy. Continue being that irrespective of what happens with this lady o.
GOD WILL GIVE YOU A VERY GOOD WIFE

sadly, this woman is showing you her failed and negative character/traits/mindset, and it will only get worse as she get more comfortable in that r/ship. a person who never see her flaws and think she is always right is a narcissist. you have to value/judge a woman for EVERYTHING she is, and sadly, that side of her is a RED FLAG that will overshadow any qualities that she may possess.

sometimes, no matter how hard it is, you have to let go of people who are NOT compatible with who you are and what you desire in life.

Marry her immediately, she will change. Be a good man and stop complaining. Talking to myself; You simps will learn the hard way.

MrBrownJay1:
sadly, this woman is showing you her failed and negative character/traits/mindset, and it will only get worse as she get more comfortable in that r/ship. a person who never see her flaws and think she is always right. you have to value a woman for EVERYTHING she is, and sadly, that side of her is a a RED FLAG!

sometimes, no matter how hard it is, you have to let go of people who are NOT compatible with wh you are and what you desire in life.

If better guy man handle this babe, especially in bed, I promise you, she go mellow down.
All these behaviour is for those she doesn't take seriously.
Even ashawo for street, with all their bad behaviors dey mellow down.
The guy no just know how to handle her...

jorion:
If better guy man handle this babe, especially in bed, I promise you she go mellow down.
All these behaviour is for those she doesn't take seriously.
Even ashawo for street, with all their bad behaviors dey mellow down.
The guy no just know how to handle her...

IMHO, sex is irrelevant here... a woman who has no respect for you and/or has no respect for how you feel, then you can give her the best sex in her life and she will still treat you like garbage. its her CHARACTER that is foul here, thats the type of woman that she is. a lot of yeye women are like that...aka women who think they are the center of the universe (thinking that life is only about them), believing its their way or the highway, even if/when they are wrong.

if a man tells a woman that she is wrong, and instead of using her brain to investigate the issue, she will automatically dismisses what you are telling her (and because she thinks she is so big in her head she wont even apologize), then you have a time bomb on your hand.

MrBrownJay1:


IMHO, sex is irrelevant here... a woman who has no respect for you and/or has no respect for how you feel, then you can give her the best sex in her life and she will still treat you like garbage. its her CHARACTER that is foul here, thats the type of woman that she is. a lot of yeye women are like that...aka women who think they are the center of the universe (thinking that life is only about them), believing its their way or the highway, even if/when they are wrong.

if a man tells a woman that she is wrong, and instead of using her brain to investigate the issue, she will automatically dismisses what you are telling her (and because she thinks she is so big in her head she wont even apologize), then you have a time bomb on your hand.

Dey play. I promise you, woman wey no get respect no dey around the right person wey dey handle her.
Don't be surprised that this particular girl is kissing the legs of another dude somewhere else
WE KNOW THEM
I HAVE BEEN THERE, I HAVE WITNESSED COUNTLESS GUYS IN THESE RELATIONSHIPS ALSO.
THE DUDE WILL MAKE A VERY FINE HUSBAND, WALAHI.
THESE ARE THE ONES THEY EVENTUALLY WANT TO SETTLE DOWN WITH

Even girls with no sense of accountability know how to playfully and indirectly apologise.

If she does this again, go 3 weeks without talking to her. If she doesn’t reach out. She is not wife!

I am currently having issues with my girl, she reaches out and can call me for more than 30mins on the phone even though I am the one who seriously hurt her.

You must take a stand or you have to deal with this problem the rest of your life and it will get worse!

jorion:

Dey play. I promise you, woman wey no get respect no dey around the right person wey dey handle her.
Don't be surprised that this particular girl is kissing the legs of another dude somewhere else
WE KNOW THEM
I HAVE BEEN THERE, I HAVE WITNESSED COUNTLESS GUYS IN THESE RELATIONSHIPS ALSO.
THE DUDE WILL MAKE A VERY FINE HUSBAND, WALAHI.
THESE ARE THE ONES THEY EVENTUALLY WANT TO SETTLE DOWN WITH

Even girls with no sense of accountability know how to playfully and indirectly apologise.

yes bro, this woman may be worshipping another dude, but this has often nothing to do with how good you mount her... some men/women out there are NARCISSISTS and there is nothing you can do to change them. you can come with professors/diploma/FBI evidence that they are wrong, and they will still dismiss your claim and never apologize or admit that they are wrong,

nairaman66:
If she does this again, go 3 weeks without talking to her. If she doesn’t reach out. She is not wife!

I am currently having issues with my girl, she reaches out and can call me for more than 30mins on the phone even though I am the one who seriously hurt her.

You must take a stand or you have to deal with this problem the rest of your life and it will get worse!

Op, don't bother yourself with this because I can already tell you what is going to happen.
Spoiler: BOTH OF YOU WON'T SPEAK TO EACH OTHER FOR A VERY LONG TIME IF YOU USE THE SILENT TREATMENT
E NO GO WORK AND YOU WILL STILL APOLOGISE TO HER AGAIN
JUST TRY TO TOLERATE HER UNTIL GOD TOUCHES HER HEART.
AT 29 SHE DON SUPPOSE DEY PRETEND TO MELLOW DOWN O.
GOD WILL TOUCH HER HEART, DON'T WORRY

MrBrownJay1:


yes bro, this woman may be worshipping another dude, but this has often nothing to do with how good you mount her... some men/women out there are NARCISSISTS and there is nothing you can do to change them. you can come with professors/diploma/FBI evidence that they are wrong, and they will still dismiss your clim and never apologize or admit that they are wrong,

Bro, they only do that when they don't care about or have little emotional attachment to the dude. I have been there, we know them wella.

jorion:


Op, don't bother yourself with this because I can already tell you what is going to happen.
Spoiler: BOTH OF YOU WON'T SPEAK TO EACH OTHER FOR A VERY LONG TIME IF YOU USE THE SILENT TREATMENT
E NO GO WORK
JUST TRY TO TOLERATE HER UNTIL GOD TOUCHES HER HEART.
AT 29 SHE DON SUPPOSE DEY PRETEND TO MELLOW DOWN O.
GOD WILL TOUCH HER HEART, DON'T WORRY

Haha! You don’t know women. I can authoritatively tell you she has someone whom she apologizes to!

It's not green anywhere please manage her like that afterall you'll still cheat on her after marriage.

nairaman66:


Haha! You don’t know women. I can authoritatively tell you she has someone whom she apologizes to!

FACTS, Bro. Around that person, she is less disciplined and more playful.
Probably dey hang her legs for ceiling fan to please the guy.

The lady I had this experience with became a BABY MAMA, 7 months after I left Nigeria.
WHAT NIGERIAN WOMEN CAN'T DO, DOES NOT EXIST.

davinchi101:


I'm seriously tired of all these and I think sorry should be the easiest thing to say for both a man and a woman. I really need your advice.

Red flag... Red flag... Red flag.... Red flag...

You have over time accommodate her excesses and lost the leverage of the relationship...and she knows she has more leverage thats why shes using it...

She nor respect you or ur opinion deep down as her man.
She probably nor rate you as a lover.
she probably nor love you enough to comprise for you.

.don't let the sex or coming to your house confuse you.....there's an amount of love u will have for a person that will naturally make u have compassion when they are upset and compromise for them from time to time...

Test the love that babe has for you before u think of marrying her..
..nor call am if shes wrong, wait it out and let her know she's wrong......otherwise.....u go frustrate urself inside marriage....


Nor come here come open thread after marriage to complain oooo oooo...we go use ur laugh tire ..

I want to hear her own part of the story
That way I'll understand better.

But if really what you said up there is true, my dear it's not too late neither is it a do or die affairs.
For your own piece of mind.