I should be reading for next week's test, but right now I have a heavy heart that I hope will lighten after writing this.

I suffered my first heartbreak as a young boy 2 years ago.

You know how it is - that first love hits you like a bowl of too-spicy pepper soup. But just as I was finally able to eat without thinking of her, another virgin girl decided to play a game of table tennis with my heart.

It happened on a family vacation, of all places.

The girl who made my heart do the shaku shaku without any music. We connected faster than Lagosians running to catch the last danfo of the night.

It was all innocent stuff, mind you - just hand-holding and the occasional peck that left me feeling like I had won the lottery.

We kept in touch over the years, meeting up whenever we could.

Each goodbye felt like watching Nigeria lose a football match in the 90th minute.

Fast forward to last week, she came to visit, and hope bloomed in my chest like flowers in a garden.

I took her to a house party, thinking this was it - our time to shine. We were closer than bread and butter all night.

But then, she vanished.

I assumed she had fallen asleep in the basement - a place more mysterious and inaccessible than our president’s promise. I ended up passing out on a couch upstairs, dreaming of our future together.

Little did I know, my uncle - who was more like a brother to me, with only a 7-year age gap - was about to sub in for me.

They slept together that night, and she lost her virginity.

Now, let me paint you a picture of my luck with the ladies.

Remember that first girlfriend I mentioned? Well, she lost her virginity to my friend at the time - while we were still dating.

And where did this betrayal happen? In the spare room right next to my bedroom. I heard everything - a free audio drama I never asked for.

If my love life were a movie, it'd be titled "How to Lose a Girl in 10 Seconds" or "No Room for the Backup Striker". Trust issues? I have got more of those than there are potholes on Nigeria roads.

But don't worry about me, oh. As we say in Nigeria, "No condition is permanent."

Who knows? Maybe one day I'll write a bestseller: "How to Lose Your Girlfriend to Your Uncle and Other Party Tricks." Until then, I'll be here, guarding my heart more carefully than a Nigerian mother guards her special pot of chicken.

So, to all you virgin-seeking vigilantes out there, I say this: Maybe it's time to update your search preferences.

After all, in this game of love, experience often trumps innocence. And who knows? While you're busy playing guardian to a virtue that was never yours to protect, you might miss out on a connection more genuine than a... well, more genuine than my uncle's sudden interest in basement exploration

Jacktheripper:
I should be reading for next week's test, but right now I have a heavy heart that I hope will lighten after writing this.

I suffered my first heartbreak as a young boy 2 years ago.

You know how it is - that first love hits you like a bowl of too-spicy pepper soup. But just as I was finally able to eat without thinking of her, another virgin girl decided to play a game of table tennis with my heart.

It happened on a family vacation, of all places.

The girl who made my heart do the shaku shaku without any music. We connected faster than Lagosians running to catch the last danfo of the night.

It was all innocent stuff, mind you - just hand-holding and the occasional peck that left me feeling like I had won the lottery.

We kept in touch over the years, meeting up whenever we could.

Each goodbye felt like watching Nigeria lose a football match in the 90th minute.

Fast forward to last week, she came to visit, and hope bloomed in my chest like flowers in a garden.

I took her to a house party, thinking this was it - our time to shine. We were closer than bread and butter all night.

But then, she vanished.

I assumed she had fallen asleep in the basement - a place more mysterious and inaccessible than our president’s promise. I ended up passing out on a couch upstairs, dreaming of our future together.

Little did I know, my uncle - who was more like a brother to me, with only a 7-year age gap - was about to sub in for me.

They slept together that night, and she lost her virginity.

Now, let me paint you a picture of my luck with the ladies.

Remember that first girlfriend I mentioned? Well, she lost her virginity to my friend at the time - while we were still dating.

And where did this betrayal happen? In the spare room right next to my bedroom. I heard everything - a free audio drama I never asked for.

If my love life were a movie, it'd be titled "How to Lose a Girl in 10 Seconds" or "No Room for the Backup Striker". Trust issues? I have got more of those than there are potholes on Nigeria roads.

But don't worry about me, oh. As we say in Nigeria, "No condition is permanent."

Who knows? Maybe one day I'll write a bestseller: "How to Lose Your Girlfriend to Your Uncle and Other Party Tricks." Until then, I'll be here, guarding my heart more carefully than a Nigerian mother guards her special pot of chicken.

So, to all you virgin-seeking vigilantes out there, I say this: Maybe it's time to update your search preferences.

After all, in this game of love, experience often trumps innocence. And who knows? While you're busy playing guardian to a virtue that was never yours to protect, you might miss out on a connection more genuine than a... well, more genuine than my uncle's sudden interest in basement exploration

Wetin mek we do?

Sigh...!!!!

Welcome Champ to the pills society. Now you see what Nigerian girls (hoes) are capable of.

Jacktheripper:
I should be reading for next week's test, but right now I have a heavy heart that I hope will lighten after writing this.

I suffered my first heartbreak as a young boy 2 years ago.

You know how it is - that first love hits you like a bowl of too-spicy pepper soup. But just as I was finally able to eat without thinking of her, another virgin girl decided to play a game of table tennis with my heart.

It happened on a family vacation, of all places.

The girl who made my heart do the shaku shaku without any music. We connected faster than Lagosians running to catch the last danfo of the night.

It was all innocent stuff, mind you - just hand-holding and the occasional peck that left me feeling like I had won the lottery.

We kept in touch over the years, meeting up whenever we could.

Each goodbye felt like watching Nigeria lose a football match in the 90th minute.

Fast forward to last week, she came to visit, and hope bloomed in my chest like flowers in a garden.

I took her to a house party, thinking this was it - our time to shine. We were closer than bread and butter all night.

But then, she vanished.

I assumed she had fallen asleep in the basement - a place more mysterious and inaccessible than our president’s promise. I ended up passing out on a couch upstairs, dreaming of our future together.

Little did I know, my uncle - who was more like a brother to me, with only a 7-year age gap - was about to sub in for me.

They slept together that night, and she lost her virginity.

Now, let me paint you a picture of my luck with the ladies.

Remember that first girlfriend I mentioned? Well, she lost her virginity to my friend at the time - while we were still dating.

And where did this betrayal happen? In the spare room right next to my bedroom. I heard everything - a free audio drama I never asked for.

If my love life were a movie, it'd be titled "How to Lose a Girl in 10 Seconds" or "No Room for the Backup Striker". Trust issues? I have got more of those than there are potholes on Nigeria roads.

But don't worry about me, oh. As we say in Nigeria, "No condition is permanent."

Who knows? Maybe one day I'll write a bestseller: "How to Lose Your Girlfriend to Your Uncle and Other Party Tricks." Until then, I'll be here, guarding my heart more carefully than a Nigerian mother guards her special pot of chicken.

So, to all you virgin-seeking vigilantes out there, I say this: Maybe it's time to update your search preferences.

After all, in this game of love, experience often trumps innocence. And who knows? While you're busy playing guardian to a virtue that was never yours to protect, you might miss out on a connection more genuine than a... well, more genuine than my uncle's sudden interest in basement exploration

I love your writing skills

STORY FOR THE GODS...

I like women bashing when required but this is fiction.

Jacktheripper:
"How "How to Lose Your Girlfriend to Your Uncle and Other Party Tricks."

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

you did it once again, you nailed it.

jorion:
STORY FOR THE GODS...

I like women bashing when required but this is fiction.

No be fiction boss

Jacktheripper:



No be fiction boss

If it's not fiction, you're honestly weak.

Julibet:


If it's not fiction, you're honestly weak.

I don register for gym bro.

This one is still learning how to write a perfect stories

AmancalledGod:
This one is still learning how to write a perfect stories

Oya oya you don catch me

I couldn't even read up to half of this write up. Looks like a made up story or novel writing (even a fool can tell) rather than a real stuff that happened to you. You're not even writing with the seriousness of someone who actually went through these events and who was impacted by them, so that makes the whole story lose it's appeal.
Maybe before you post another story next time, read the genuine stories of other guys who went through such experience and you'd know how to craft your words to make it real and have the attention of the reader. This write up is purely immature and unappealing. Go and learn how to write. Sorry

drstranged:
I couldn't even read up to half of this write up. Looks like a made up story or novel writing (even a fool can tell) rather than a real stuff that happened to you. You're not even writing with the seriousness of someone who actually went through these events and who was impacted by them, so that makes the whole story lose it's appeal.
Maybe before you post another story next time, read the genuine stories of other guys who went through such experience and you'd know how to craft your words to make it real and have the attention of the reader. This write up is purely immature and unappealing. Go and learn how to write. Sorry

Thanks boss.