...but they never progressed to sexual intimacy, as I exercised self-control.


I am 34 years old, married to my 31 years old wife since 2020. While we are still trusting God for children, I have remained faithful to her throughout our relationship, since dating, courtship and marriage. I mean I have never had any affair with other lady/woman since I met her in 2018 till present. However, I am currently facing a serious issue and seek your counsel.

In September 2023, my wife's 21-year-old sister moved in with us due to challenges she faced while living with a relative. I genuinely care about her and my wife's family as a whole. My wife, a hospital worker here in Port Harcourt, often works night shifts.

In October 2024, an inappropriate incident occurred between me and her sister, a hug escalated into an intense kiss. This happened twice more in November, but all these three times, they never progressed to sexual intimacy, as I exercised self-control. During the last incident, she asked if it would be wrong to engage in further intimacy to have sex, instantly I realize the gravity of what I was getting myself into. I immediately set boundaries, the next morning we prayed together, asking for forgiveness, and since then, no further incidents have occurred, not even a single feeling.

However, I have noticed a shift in her attitude towards me. Recently, she has become disrespectful, and despite multiple discussions with her, her behavior persists. This evening, after reporting one of her actions to my wife over the phone, I later tried to have a conversation with her. During our conversation, she became defensive, disrespectful, and expressed her desire to leave the house. She confronted me about our past actions, insisting that while I reported her wrong this evening, I should have also disclosed our actions to my wife, even though we never engaged in sex.

I pleaded with her to keep this issue dead, as my wife does not deserve to know about this betrayal, she deserves better from both of us. She has calmed down for now, but I am deeply troubled. My wife is returning tomorrow morning, and I want to ensure this matter remains resolved and private for the sake of my marriage and trust. I would appreciate sincere advice on how to handle this situation and prevent any further harm.

SAMKHAY:
➜ However, I have noticed a shift in her attitude towards me. Recently, she has become disrespectful, and despite multiple discussions with her, her behavior persists. This evening, after reporting one of her actions to my wife over the phone, I later tried to have a conversation with her. During our conversation, she became defensive, disrespectful, and expressed her desire to leave the house. She confronted me about our past actions, insisting that while I reported her wrong this evening, I should have also disclosed our actions to my wife, even though we never engaged in sex.
I pleaded with her to keep this issue dead, as my wife does not deserve to know about this betrayal, she deserves better from both of us. She has calmed down for now, but I am deeply troubled. My wife is returning tomorrow morning, and I want to ensure this matter remains resolved and private for the sake of my marriage and trust. I would appreciate sincere advice on how to handle this situation and prevent any further harm.

You cheated on your wife with her sister and you are here asking us how to avoid facing the consequences? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

SAMKHAY:
In October 2024, an inappropriate incident occurred between me and her sister, a hug escalated into an intense kiss.

How did the inappropriate hug start? What led to it?

Kobojunkie:
You cheated on your wife with her sister and you are here asking us how to avoid facing the consequences? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I am actually sincere with every word I wrote there. We never had sex, it did not happen.

immortalcrown:
How did the inappropriate hug start? What led to it?

That was actually not the first time we have been hugging, even in my wife's presence. It was something we felt normal and not emotions attached to it, until this happened.

Tell your wife what transpired and tell her the sister need move out of your house. She will not cease until you succumb and once you do, you are totally finished.

SAMKHAY:
➜I actually sincere with every word I wrote there. We never had sex, it did not happen.

I am sure you are but it does not change the fact that what you described is literally you cheating on your wife with her sister.

SAMKHAY:


I actually sincere with every word I wrote there. We never had sex, it did not happen.

Report yourself to your wife and be free. Yes, she would be hurt but with time, she would forgive and you will be fine together.

For your sister-in-law, it's time to leave. Please let her go.

Simple,

When yournwife returns, just tell her that her sister suddenly kissed u without warning after u guys hugged....that you are no longer comfortable with her staying in your house, she needs to.move out.

I hope u don't send lovey-dovey messages to the sister on phone or WhatsApp o...no cast yourself o

Note - that her sister will blackmail you with that incident, better you act first

SAMKHAY:
That was actually not the first time we have been hugging, even in my wife's presence. It was something we felt normal and not emotions attached to it, until this happened.

You are in a serious mess unless she is kind.

GboyegaD:
Tell your wife what transpired and tell her the sister need move out of your house. She will not cease until you succumb and once you do, you are totally finished.

Moving out is not an issue, but the moment this happen, her family and mine will eventually know what transpired, I am well respected in both families and reputation is still there for me to keep. I am not a wayward individual at all.

oluplus:


Report yourself to your wife and be free. Yes, she would be hurt but with time, she would forgive and you will be fine together.

For your sister-in-law, it's time to leave. Please let her go.

Moving out is not an issue, but the moment this happen, her family and mine will eventually know what transpired, I am well respected in both families and reputation is still there for me to keep. I am not a wayward individual at all.

Kobojunkie:
I am sure you are but it does not change the fact that what you described is literally you cheating on your wife with her sister.

You are right. I feel so bad right now.

Ab025:
Simple,

When yournwife returns, just tell her that her sister suddenly kissed u without warning after u guys hugged....that you are no longer comfortable with her staying in your house, she needs to.move out.

I hope u don't send lovey-dovey messages to the sister on phone or WhatsApp o...no cast yourself o

Note - that her sister will blackmail you with that incident, better you act first

Not a single evidence to show. Nothing like messages or whatever. I have never done that. It was never my joy in all the instances.

SAMKHAY:
➜You are right. I feel so bad right now.

She is 21, so you should have seriously known better. So, like someone already suggested, your best bet is to own up before it balloons into something bigger than it already is.

SAMKHAY:


Moving out is not an issue, but the moment this happen, her family and mine will eventually know what transpired, I am well respected in both families and reputation is still there for me to keep. I am not a wayward individual at all.

Don't you think your sister in law will spill sooner or later.

It seems you are more concerned about your reputation than your wife's happiness.
Whether she knows or not, you have crossed the line and if your respect her enough, you owe her an apology.
Pls ignore if this is not a Christian marriage. I may not be making sense.

oluplus:


Don't you think your sister in law will spill sooner or later.

It seems you are more concerned about your reputation that your wife's happiness.
Whether she knows or not, you have crossed the line and if your respect her enough, you owe her an apology.
Pls ignore if this is not a Christian marriage. I may not be making sense.

Now it's becoming more scary. You are making sense Sir.

You sef.

you should not have allowed it happen na.... u don't play such games very close to your home not to talk of your wife's relation...

Ab025:
You sef.

you should not have allowed it happen na.... u don't play such games very close to your home not to talk of your wife's relation...

Something I did not even play outside. Just imagine...

Ab025:
Simple,

When yournwife returns, just tell her that her sister suddenly kissed u without warning after u guys hugged...

You saying he should lie that his sister in law kissed him, when he himself admitted "a hug escalated into an intense kiss"?

Hopefully, he knows his own lie will be less believable than his sister in law's who has nothing to lose.

budaatum:


You saying he should lie that his sister in law kissed him, when he himself admitted "a hug escalated into an intense kiss"?

Hopefully, he knows his own lie will be less believable than his sister in law's who has nothing to lose.

I won't even tell such lies because the girl will forever hate me.

Oga sir,

Find a legitimate and all convincing reason for her to move out. Either a job outside Ur abode or a business or School.

Trust me, it's this Ur fear that will bring about suspicion and boldness from Ur SIL.

Well, as for me, na my two kobo be that

Fvck her already...

It's almost the same thing

1. Tell your wife what happened between you both. Be the first to tell your wife and apologize to her. If the sister tells your wife before you, your marriage might collapse.

2. The sister has to leave. No ways around this.

Na "Bleep up" you dey blow plenty grammar to cover up and tone down like this?

SAMKHAY:


I won't even tell such lies because the girl will forever hate me.

This is it!

You why do care so much if she hates you? [Not that I support you throwing her under the bus, but that you tell the whole truth to your wife]
You have feelings for her, and are not ready to let her go.
Stop deceiving yourself.
You ain't fooling nobody.

Just wondering if it was the same challenges that the previous relative experienced while she was staying with them too. Hence, the reason she had to leave. Well, it’s time for her to leave your place too. How you want to go about that is up to you.

eniolorunfe:
➜Just wondering if it was the same challenges that the previous relative experienced while she was staying with them too. Hence, the reason she had to leave.

That is ridiculous! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

OP is a married man and the onus is on him to keep his marriage vows no matter what. Nobody else is responsible for upholding your marriage vows on your behalf. You go engage someone you are not married to, the fault is completely yours no matter who it was we are talking of. 😩😩😩

SAMKHAY:


That was actually not the first time we have been hugging, even in my wife's presence. It was something we felt normal and not emotions attached to it, until this happened.

I'll advice you to talk with your wife and explain/confess your actions to her now that it's still forgivable

Unless you want that girl to manipulate you untill you succumb to her sexual desire which may ruin your mariage and you life in general

Her sister shouldn't be staying with you anymore

oluplus:


Don't you think your sister in law will spill sooner or later.

It seems you are more concerned about your reputation that your wife's happiness.
Whether she knows or not, you have crossed the line and if your respect her enough, you owe her an apology.
Pls ignore if this is not a Christian marriage. I may not be making sense.

let him be talking about reputation there.
Is better you report yourself first before that girl does.
The way she will paint the scenario eh….life go tire you

SAMKHAY:


I am actually sincere with every word I wrote there. We never had sex, it did not happen.

op no mind this werey

ThankGod you never had sex with her so you can still keep your boundary

Maintain ur stand and if she want to leave thank God for that, I think that s the best way you can enjoy your family if not that later with still put u for problem.

SAMKHAY:


Moving out is not an issue, but the moment this happen, her family and mine will eventually know what transpired, I am well respected in both families and reputation is still there for me to keep. I am not a wayward individual at all.

Oga, forget reputation. You said you did not sleep with her and that is the important thing. You can't stop her from saying otherwise and neither can you force anyone to believe you.

If you keep her, you will likely fall harder and to keep this human reputation you are concerned about, you will fall deeper and when you realize, it will be too late.