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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! (14293 Views)
How Long Is It "Normal" To Court A Girl / Woman Drags Ex-lover To Court For Duping And Refusing To Marry Her / Funke Akindele Says My Marriage Is Intact, I'm Going To Court (2) (3) (4)
Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by GraceBestowed(f): 5:39am On Feb 21, 2013 |
So, that man has come along, you're happy, super excited, and thanking God! There are some things we need to understand, because just as the bible says that 'a person's gift makes room for them', it is their character that will keep them where the gift has taken them to. Some mistakes are easily written off, some aren't, in whatever you do, DON'T 1. BE EAGER - marriage is not a do or die issue; to be fulfilled within a marriage, you have to be fulfilled as a human being first, then you can go into a union, and complete another person! Don't be pushy, because this will put a man off, and cause them to feel as though you're exerting too much control; men LOVE to be in control! 2. MAKE THE FIRST MOVE - allow him to make the first move! I know that there are some women out there with strong personalities, but all in all, he remains the man, the head; even if God has shown you that he's your husband, WAIT for him to make the first move! I cannot stress enough how important this is! 3. BE DISRESPECTFUL - no man wants a woman with an attitude problem! As women respond favourably to emotions, men respond favourably to respect. The beginning of the end is when you start to treat him with disdain! 4. LAY ALL YOUR CARDS ON THE TABLE - I know that it is normal to show emotions, but don't overdo it, please! It is very easy for someone else to take you for granted if they realise that you're extremely fond of them, no matter how much they seem to love you! 5. TALK TOO MUCH - please, keep your mouth shut about your relationship. Don't go telling A-B-C about how he got mad at you, what he said today, or how he told you he felt! It is not necessary!! 6. BE AFRAID - you need to be able to say how you feel, with respect, understanding that he is the man God has placed above you. You are allowed to say if you're upset, if he disappointed you, or if he did something wrong. Insecurities can also cause fear within a relationship, if you feel super insecure, ask yourself if you're ready to enter this relationship of give and take! 7. BE RETIRING - NOW is the time to talk, the time you can put your points across, your expectations, and aspirations! You want 7 children, now is the time to speak up; you have a calling on your life, raise your hand up and talk; you want to hold down a job, no problem, open up! Nothing is too trivial to bring up, communicate! 8. BE NAIVE - understand that men are a completely different set of species from women, every single one unique, according to maturity (in life and in Christ)! Chronological age is just a number; bottom line, men don't think like women, at all! 9. BE IDLE - being a 'liability' is not what's up, most men want their potential wives to be up to something; it doesn't, necessarily, mean working, but just an indication that you will not drown without Him, and that you're able to hold it down when he's not around. 10. GET INTIMATE - this goes without saying within a Christian courtship, but I'm saying it anyway! If you're kissing, sleeping together, or engaging in any intimate activities, then you're committing fornication - there's no two ways about it. If you can't wait, get a marriage blessing! Remember to give Him thanks, in everything! All His Love https://gracefullybestowed.squarespace.com/blog/2013/2/15/how-not-to-court-from-the-how-to-series 23 Likes |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by delkuf(m): 11:43am On Feb 26, 2013 |
Though this is coming late, but u said it all. expecially #10 2 Likes |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by yuzedo: 10:07am On Mar 23, 2013 |
You have br..easts so I agree with ALL you said! ![]() |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by Chinwem(f): 10:23am On Mar 23, 2013 |
GraceBestowed: So, that man has come along, you're happy, super excited, and thanking God! There are some things we need to understand, because just as the bible says that 'a person's gift makes room for them', it is their character that will keep them where the gift has taken them to. Some mistakes are easily written off, some aren't, in whatever you do, DON'T Thanks for this OP. Quoted for future reference Hope you don't mind if I send you a pm? Have a few questions |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by GraceBestowed(f): 10:28am On Mar 23, 2013 |
Chinwem: You're welcome! Everything here I've experienced (not all first hand), and have spoken to guys! yuzedo: You have br..easts so I agree with ALL you said! You agree with EVERYTHING!?!? God is watching!! delkuf: Though this is coming late, but u said it all. expecially #10 I must have said something right, to have guys agree with me!! |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by kambo(m): 1:31pm On Mar 23, 2013 |
ur prose reaks of typical christian style, dats y mst xtians live double lives nd ar unromantc. 1. I respect women who can make the first move. Despite our notions abt it. Women who can walk up to u, look u in eye , introduce themselves and acquiant- with civility. Not timidly. Always always get my hat doffing. 2. Expressiveness: most women in xtian settngs cant switch to romantic mode. They struggle wth release of emotions- love words hook in their throats! . This is a big turn off. So, expressiveness is welcome even if overdone. D frequency optimizes with time. Theyre so many ways to communicate romantically , than saying the usual trite phrases. So many. Besides a relato is a romantic affair, if u cant speak the lingo get out of it. 3. Kissing. Maybe not xcessively but kissing has to be. 3 Likes |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by greedie1(f): 2:12pm On Mar 23, 2013 |
good one |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by Dazl(f): 4:44pm On Mar 23, 2013 |
Op...does a court marriage wit jes ur frends as witnesses witout parental knowledge count as marriage blessings?? Sex in such a union is it a sin ![]() |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by Nobody: 10:59pm On Mar 25, 2013 |
Good tips. |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by deols(f): 6:21am On Mar 28, 2013 |
Well, I think it isnt supposed to be a game-not a mind game. So why not express yourself. Why make it seem like you are not whom you are or not feeling what you are feeling. Nothing wrong with making the first move either. If u are bold enough to want to make it/make it and he can not deal with it, he most probably isn't your ilk. You wont be able to keep acting/presenting yourself as some books say or as some 'experienced people' deem fit. When u eventually get pass the courting stage, your expressive nature would show itself and you would appear as a scheming pretender. The golden rule is- Be yourself. There is a man for every type of Woman. Yours will find you and you may find him. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by SLIDEwaxie(m): 9:07am On Mar 28, 2013 |
Why u come spoil everytn with number 10 na? Dnt brainwash people here o. I no fit convert to masturbatee o! |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by Nobody: 9:51am On Mar 31, 2013 |
So many rules,even God only gave 10 commandments. Abeg,next. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by jhydebaba(m): 9:52am On Mar 31, 2013 |
Make I clap for OP ![]() ![]() ![]() No wonder una dey sleep for church dey pray for husband at 45 ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by Sike(m): 10:23am On Mar 31, 2013 |
Spot On, Baby! |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by Rooneyboy(m): 10:26am On Mar 31, 2013 |
I concur with ur number 9. |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by chelseabmw(m): 10:29am On Mar 31, 2013 |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Like |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by miketonic(m): 10:29am On Mar 31, 2013 |
I think your post is bias..because it reeks of Christianity perspective . Not everyone in here is Christian or catholic. Some are Muslim, Jewish,Hindu, or etc. I disagree on number 10. I also disagree on the part tha male have to approach a female first. I think that's alo fashion . Matter of fact, I disagree on everything you said cuz ur a female and you don't know what guys want. Lol this is just a typical female rant post. |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by nbright: 10:39am On Mar 31, 2013 |
deols:God/Allah bless you abundantly.. I don't know what's wrong in a girl walking up to a guy she admire and talk to him.. Many will quote Beyoncy's song that the world is beinf run by girls yet they are afraid to approach a guy they admire.. They will be quick to shout "this is the 21st century but they behave like an 18th century woman.. deols:In other words don't live your life according to some dating books, I am not saying that it's bad to read it o, but don't design your life to look exactly like that... No two people are exactly the same.. 5 Likes |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by MrCork17: 10:47am On Mar 31, 2013 |
GraceBestowed: So, that man has come along, you're happy, super excited, and thanking God! There are some things we need to understand, because just as the bible says that 'a person's gift makes room for them', it is their character that will keep them where the gift has taken them to. Some mistakes are easily written off, some aren't, in whatever you do, DON'T Really??...sweery is that india wig or brazil wig? ![]() |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by Giftedgreen: 10:54am On Mar 31, 2013 |
when its time to make the first move, you are the man. and tomorrow the feminist will say we are equal. ladies, what a man can do, a woman can do better. if you like a guy walk up to him and tell him 1 Like |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by Nobody: 11:02am On Mar 31, 2013 |
kambo: ur prose reaks of typical christian style, dats y mst xtians live double lives nd ar unromantc. 1. I respect women who can make the first move. Despite our notions abt it. Women who can walk up to u, look u in eye , introduce themselves and acquiant- with civility. Not timidly. Always always get my hat doffing. That's a man's job. Once in a while a girl can fall into your lap if you wait for them to approach. But it won't be the ones you WANT. For the ones you want, you have to do the walk-ups. It's your job. |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by traeces(m): 11:10am On Mar 31, 2013 |
miketonic: I think your post is bias..because it reeks of Christianity perspective . Not everyone in here is Christian or catholic. Some are Muslim, Jewish,Hindu, or etc. I disagree on number 10. I also disagree on the part tha male have to approach a female first. I think that's alo fashion . Matter of fact, I disagree on everything you said cuz ur a female and you don't know what guys want. Lol this is just a typical female rant post. Very well said, "...Not everyone is a christian" but everyone sure needs to be a christian. Trust me on that! |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by kay9(m): 11:11am On Mar 31, 2013 |
yuzedo: You have br..easts so I agree with ALL you said!^^ ![]() ![]() Ahem! Lots of responses here have already echoed what i think about #10 and all that ''being meek and chaste'', so i won't start flogging the dead horse again. My problem is with all these ''10 rules'' and ''25 Don'ts'' and ''33 relationship secrets'' and all those numerical short-cuts. Look, its really simple: be nice, be kind, be friendly, smile when u say thanks, go out a little (so u can meet new people) and pay some attention to your looks. Chikena! All those other rules and whatever just won't work for everybody - what if the guy a girl is eyeing prefers outspoken girls? And here you're advicing her to wait, wait, waaaaaaaiiiit, wait some more...when the poor girl is dying to just say hello to the guy... ![]() Or what if the guy really does love the girl AND wants to marry her but believes in seex before marriage? What then?? 2 Likes |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by Mavor: 11:15am On Mar 31, 2013 |
ok, a list for guys from you will be nice. |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by yuzedo: 11:33am On Mar 31, 2013 |
FRONT PAGE!!!!!!!!! Whoop! \\ (^o^) // I really think these are well-spoken words, all of them true. I didn't merely agree because you have nice breeasts.. Not like I've seen them or nuin, and you know, I'd be glad to and all, but.. Oops! I digress! ![]() |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by sammyyoung2(m): 12:15pm On Mar 31, 2013 |
Copy and paste |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by esere826: 12:17pm On Mar 31, 2013 |
yuzedo: FRONT PAGE!!!!!!!!! Whoop! \\ (^o^) // Stop talking about her bwests it is se.xual harrasment referring to her bwest She's worth more than her bwest she is an intellectual human just like like u and I, but with bwest she's doing a great job in showing that bwest do not define a woman, and guess what brother.... her b ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by Nobody: 12:30pm On Mar 31, 2013 |
Don't kiss?!!! Wtf!!! All these rules sef don tire me... Majority who don't follow most of them are doing well and you're here... I'm not condemning the post tho. Nicely written 1 Like |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by yuzedo: 12:42pm On Mar 31, 2013 |
esere826:I hold this true words close to my br..easts! Finer words have never been spoken, I defer to you. ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by hardbody: 12:46pm On Mar 31, 2013 |
Jan8: Don't kiss?!!! Wtf!!! All these rules sef don tire me... God bless you sister. Follow your mind, always |
Re: Ladies' Guide On How NOT To Court!! by yuzedo: 12:46pm On Mar 31, 2013 |
sammy.young:You must be foolish! Show us where she copied this from or please gettat of hia! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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