Below is the traditional wedding cake picture of Teju Babyface
It brings to mind a question I always wanted to ask as even Christians who say the man finds the woman & marries her write similar in their wedding invitation and their cakes, gift etc.
[don't know how its done in Islam/African Traditional beliefs but I guess its similar]
I pray 'em union is more fruitful than the fruits on this cake but who's marrying who?
Is it the woman wedding the man -Tobi weds Teju?
Or the man wedding the woman- Teju weds Tobi?

Very valid question. I know someone that complains about it whenever he sees such on wedding IVs.

maclatunji: Very valid question. I know someone that complains about it whenever he sees such on wedding IVs.

Thank you sir
Other nairalanders, your opinions please
And do make it intelligent and succinct.

I think it should b d girl that weds d man! To me shaa,as long as there is wedding, whoever that weds d other is not an issue!

It goes back centuries ago when the young woman's parents would have a dowry to give to the groom to be. It's simply protocol (after all the bride's parents foot nearly the whole bill!)

Usually because the brides parents are the ones paying for the wedding or at least the majority of it and are considered the true hosts of the wedding and because of the ladies first rule.


The day is certainly important to the groom, but we men don't dream about our wedding days our entire life like women do. We don't have "groom's fairs" with all the latest groom accessories. It's our job to show up sober with five of our most-presentable friends, say some few words, kiss you, go through a few minor ceremonial things at the reception hall and carry you across the threshold. Our job comes later: we get the opportunity to love, honor, respect and cherish you the rest of our lives. (It's true: a lot of men totally screw that part up. But a lot of us don't.)

^I understand what you're saying but most of it is beside the point. However, I understand that most of the time Cakes, IVs and other wedding literature are paid-for by the bride's family. Hence, they put their daughter's name on top as wedding the man.

I guess since it d woman dat agree 2 marry d man so it d woman weds d man

Ha Ha very funny. That western culture - you know. I can be my tiny pickle : it has everything to do with preserving/reminding every1 bout the girls dignity .

Look at it this way - tobi agrees to mary teju because teju asked not tobi.

From the culture that produced the word WED the correct order is girl/lady/woman WED(no "s") man.
If you wish to change the order then you may have to use word "marries".

when using the word wed, it is the woman weds the man


but with the word and, the name of the man comes first. man&woman.

I have first hand experience wv weddn things nd dats how we do it

UncleJJ: Ha Ha very funny. That western culture - you know. I can be my tiny pickle : it has everything to do with preserving/reminding every1 bout the girls dignity .

Look at it this way - tobi agrees to mary teju because teju asked not tobi.

deols: when using the word wed, it is the woman weds the man
but with the word and, the name of the man comes first. man&woman.
I have first hand experience wv weddn things nd dats how we do it

Are you a wedding planner or something?
My own experience is based on what I see at weddings, wedding pictures and wedding 5 minutes of fame clips shown on TV
Come to think of it, our society is stereotypically patriarchal thus seeing such does indicate a pandering to the oyinbo peppers [as UncleJJ put it]
Or is that not?

Mowire: From the culture that produced the word WED the correct order is girl/lady/woman WED(no "s" man.
If you wish to change the order then you may have to use word "marries".

Cultural perspectives?
Hmnn!
How about the Yoruba guy who says he's doing his igbeyawo?
Rough literal interpretation is something like 'I'm carrying my wife'
No be the guy dey talk say hin carry?
I try nah!

Agba Ngohile: I guess since it d woman dat agree 2 marry d man so it d woman weds d man

Oh you mean like Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon and she's the d1ck in their marriage?
Forgive my swearing but I hate male beaches
Or is it that he's {Nick& his ilk] are trying to connect with their feminine side?

As much as I knw, 'wed' means 'marry' and 'marry' means to legally join a boy and a girl who have mutually accepted to be together forever as it's conducted mostly by the consents of the both's(bride's n groom's) parents, religion, tradition, etc and the process is as follows: a boy decided to marry a girl n proposed to her, the girl agrees: mind u, it's d boy dat started it; the girl took him n showed to her parents dat he is d one dat will marry are n d parents gave their consents, mind u, it's d boy dat beg to take(marry) their daughter from dem; the boy performs all d marriage rite n took d girl frm her parents to 'his own house'!, nw tell me who weds/marries who? And even in the matrimonial home u'll here somethin like, husband: 'i married, so u must listen to me, etc' n wife: 'did u marry me to come and suffer in dis house'? Abeg dat tin is very wrong. The right thing boy(Peter) wed girl(Rita).

Bbeyond:
As much as I knw, 'wed' means 'marry' and 'marry' means to legally join a boy and a girl who have mutually accepted to be together forever as it's conducted mostly by the consents of the both's(bride's n groom's) parents, religion, tradition, etc and the process is as follows: a boy decided to marry a girl n proposed to her, the girl agrees: mind u, it's d boy dat started it; the girl took him n showed to her parents dat he is d one dat will marry are n d parents gave their consents, mind u, it's d boy dat beg to take(marry) their daughter from dem; the boy performs all d marriage rite n took d girl frm her parents to 'his own house'!, nw tell me who weds/marries who? And even in the matrimonial home u'll here somethin like, husband: 'i married, so u must listen to me, etc' n wife: 'did u marry me to come and suffer in dis house'? Abeg dat tin is very wrong. The right thing boy(Peter) wed girl(Rita).

marriage is for man and woman and not for a boy or girl

Bbeyond:
As much as I knw, 'wed' means 'marry' and 'marry' means to legally join a boy and a girl who have mutually accepted to be together forever as it's conducted mostly by the consents of the both's(bride's n groom's) parents, religion, tradition, etc and the process is as follows: a boy decided to marry a girl n proposed to her, the girl agrees: mind u, it's d boy dat started it; the girl took him n showed to her parents dat he is d one dat will marry are n d parents gave their consents, mind u, it's d boy dat beg to take(marry) their daughter from dem; the boy performs all d marriage rite n took d girl frm her parents to 'his own house'!, nw tell me who weds/marries who? And even in the matrimonial home u'll here somethin like, husband: 'i married, so u must listen to me, etc' n wife: 'did u marry me to come and suffer in dis house'? Abeg dat tin is very wrong. The right thing boy(Peter) wed girl(Rita).

I think it should be the other way round. It is the lady that leaves her father's house, changes her surname, faith, culture etc.

Bbeyond:
As much as I knw, 'wed' means 'marry' and 'marry' means to legally join a boy and a girl who have mutually accepted to be together forever as it's conducted mostly by the consents of the both's(bride's n groom's) parents, religion, tradition, etc and the process is as follows: a boy decided to marry a girl n proposed to her, the girl agrees: mind u, it's d boy dat started it; the girl took him n showed to her parents dat he is d one dat will marry are n d parents gave their consents, mind u, it's d boy dat beg to take(marry) their daughter from dem; the boy performs all d marriage rite n took d girl frm her parents to 'his own house'!, nw tell me who weds/marries who? And even in the matrimonial home u'll here somethin like, husband: 'i married, so u must listen to me, etc' n wife: 'did u marry me to come and suffer in dis house'? Abeg dat tin is very wrong. The right thing boy(Peter) wed girl(Rita).

"Wed" does not mean marry.
Wed is a name given to a ceremony that accompanies marriage.
More like celebrating or ritualizing the union. It is not the union itself.

Just like you have Matriculation Ceremony, it is just a ceremony for already admitted students. It is not the act of admission itself.

Also, Wedding is not a legal joining of a couple. It is only legal when such joining (union) is legally documented and there is an evidence of the union such as can be defended in the court of law such as a marriage certificate.
I suppose it is worthy of note that such legal demands of marriage was overlooked before now since in the customary courts, traditional marriage is also plausible without any legal evidence, hence was termed legal.
But nowadays...it is compulsory for couples to legalize their marriages by obtaining certificates to attest to that effect. Also, the government has now made it easier for churches to obtain the certificates directly from the Magistrate court (if I am not mistaken) and couples now pay and obtain it directly from the church during their ceremony if they wish to.
I stand corrected though.

Very sensible topic.

Mowire:
From the culture that produced the word WED the correct order is girl/lady/woman WED(no "s" man.
If you wish to change the order then you may have to use word "marries".

Really? And how did you arrive at that?

All about economics.
Who is paying = who is marrying.
Simple.

I checked through the marriage public notice in Nigeria under the ministry of interior

it is the MAN that WEDS the WOMAN.

So when you get to the registry, you will observe

HUSBAND'S NAME WEDS WIFE'S NAME.

The man weds the woman....