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The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by InvertedHammer: 7:28pm On Oct 05, 2014
MadCow1:



True..

But even then, such relationship if not customary is considered to be common law marriage and can be decided in court like a full court marriage. What I am not sure the spouses can get is "maintenance" from each other, but the court can award custody to one parent and child upkeep from the other as the case may be as that child's or children's interest must always be protected under the law irrespective of the circumstances of their birth.
\

Where is your Law office?


/
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Sixix: 7:28pm On Oct 05, 2014
MadCow1:



You miss the point of my future ex lover Sweetlemon.

The court or church marriage isn't meant to stop infidelity or abuse but to protect the woman under the law and grant her access to her rights like alimony and more under the law just I case the Nigga starts acting up later.

No need to thank God, thank me.

What is Alimony and Child Support?

Alimony and child support are divorce settlements where the man pays his wife the bulk of his monthly salary because the law asked him too

It gives women the power to mentally, financially and emotionally frustrate their husbands and ex-husbands throughout the rest of their lives

It makes men incapable of having another 'normal' family

It makes it a crime to be a 'man'

It allows ex-wives to sit their fat lazy asses at home all day because they were mainly dependant on their husbands' income while they were married and are now incapable of getting jobs

It provides ex-husbands and husbands a perfect motive to murder their wives.



And yet it has not stop any man from engaging in activities that are grounds for divorce


In today's world, a divorce settlement is concerned with the protection of women not the man because he is a man

2 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 7:29pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sixix:


What a pity!

However would you like me to start counting women who were wedded legally and still got dumped and maltreated.

Court marriage is for 'those' women and NOT WOMEN

she aint seen nothing yet ....
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by InvertedHammer: 7:31pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sixix:


What is Alimony and Child Support?

Alimony is a divorce settlement where the man pays his wife the bulk of his monthly salary because the law asked him too

Gives women the power to mentally, financially and emotionally frustrate their husbands and ex-husbands throughout the rest of their lives

To make them incapable of having another 'normal' family

Makes it a crime to be a 'man'

Allows ex-wives to sit their fat lazy asses at home all day because they were mainly dependant on their husbands' income while they were married and are now incapable of getting jobs

Provides ex-husbands and husbands a perfect motive to murder their wives.



And yet it has not stop any man from engaging in activities that are grounds for divorce


In today's world, a divorce settlement is concerned with the protection of women not the man because he is a man




/

Try enforcing alimony and child support in Nigeria

My problem with MadCow1 is that he is prescribing antidepressant medications for malaria.

The question is about marriage in Nigeria and he/she is reciting some legal mumbo jumbo he read somewhere.
.


\

3 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 7:31pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sixix:


Court marriage or no court marriage, it won't hinder an irresponsible man from shying away from his responsibilities, abusing his wife and from engaging in extramarital affairs.

this is just the point ..... she talked about going abroad . you go abroad with him , he can still dump you if he chooses too . the bottom line is " don't plan to live your life under the sole custody of your hubby.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by OrlandoOwoh(m): 7:32pm On Oct 05, 2014
GooseBaba:


You said traditional marriage does not constitute as absolute marriage, you relegate it to cohabitating. but your opulence for white wedding gives it legal backing....

In your world African traditional marriage is not up to oyinbo traditional marriage... That equals to inferiority complex...
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by cococandy(f): 7:33pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sweetlemon the guys won't be happy with you for saying this grin cheesy
The lord is your strength as you fight the ensuing e-battle
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by MadCow1: 7:34pm On Oct 05, 2014
GooseBaba:


Guy abeg try read before you reply person post..

I did and just for the benefit of the doubt, I re read it and my post still stands.

The Inferiority complex you accused Mr. Owoh of having in response to his post shows you didn't understand his post at all..

He simply was trying to say he picks white weddings over trad because of the legality of it over the rest and that my friend is sound academic argument that has absolutely nothing to do with either an inferior or superior complex.

**Okay.. Who am I and why am I making so much sense with such have elaborate big grammar? Infact I am "Oleku"ing myself right now (feeling the boy).. grin
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 7:35pm On Oct 05, 2014
Our fore fathers and great grand parents didn't do any white or court wedding,yet they lived together in peace.

We now have white and court weddings, and ironically, WE HAVE PEOPLE THINKING OF GETTING DIVORCED,EVEN B4 THEY ARE MARRIED,,how sad.

If u do not trust a man to love you ,why get married to him..
Dnt get me wrong,I'm not against the white or court,my fear is the reason why it is desired.

A marriage that will last forever,doesn't necesarily require documents,it requires two honest people who truly want to be together, not people who will be quick to seek divorce after every problem..

Please let's all be guided,what works for u may not necesarily work for another.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 7:35pm On Oct 05, 2014
tatiana009:
OP is right that it's important to sign documents and make the union legally recognised. It's not only about divorce but God forbid incase one of the parties die and the family wants to cheat you and your children out of what you guys worked for. It just helps to protect the family incase of such things since the law will be on your side even if there's no will.

It doesn't have to be an elaborate affair just go to the registry. If a man doesn't trust the woman enough to marry her legally then why is he marrying her at all undecided that is the woman who will raise your children so you should do everything g to protect her
do you really know how the average Nigerian man goes about acquiring and securing his properties as it concerns his family ?
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by deboraha(f): 7:35pm On Oct 05, 2014
Guys are not smiling in this thread at all. Hehehe.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by warrior01: 7:36pm On Oct 05, 2014
uzolexis:


I agree,traditional wedding should be the recognised one,all others should be formality. The Nigerian govt should start giving certificates 4 traditional wedding.

The certificates are readily available. Just go to the local govt and register your marriage.

2 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by MadCow1: 7:36pm On Oct 05, 2014
cococandy:
Sweetlemon the guys won't be happy with you for saying this grin cheesy
The lord is your strength as you fight the ensuing e-battle


Only small minded and illiterate Niggas would oppose her write up.. Any woman who does not have a court certificate to back up her marriage is playing marriage Russian roulette and should pray she never pulls the trigger with a loaded chamber in the barrel.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by GooseBaba: 7:37pm On Oct 05, 2014
OrlandoOwoh:

You're contradicting yourself. Whether traditional or church, the issuance of certificate is what makes it legal. I know of people who sit in their living room and join their children. If there is a case of devorce, then you will know that it is important to have certificate. You think you can just impregnate a girl, give her family the bride price and think the law recognizes you as a couple?

But, Bros... That's not what you said before. You said white wedding gives marriage legal backings...how so..!?

In the system of government policy in Nigeria. Traditional marriage and court registration of marriage is all one needs... But of course, colonial madness of marriage raises its ugly head..

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 7:38pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sixix:


What is Alimony and Child Support?

Alimony is a divorce settlement where the man pays his wife the bulk of his monthly salary because the law asked him too

Gives women the power to mentally, financially and emotionally frustrate their husbands and ex-husbands throughout the rest of their lives

To make them incapable of having another 'normal' family

Makes it a crime to be a 'man'

Allows ex-wives to sit their fat lazy asses at home all day because they were mainly dependant on their husbands' income while they were married and are now incapable of getting jobs

Provides ex-husbands and husbands a perfect motive to murder their wives.



And yet it has not stop any man from engaging in activities that are grounds for divorce


In today's world, a divorce settlement is concerned with the protection of women not the man because he is a man





I've heard of cases where it's the man collecting Alimony even though it's rare so the laws is there for both parties it's just that it favours more the party that isn't as rich as the other
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Sixix: 7:39pm On Oct 05, 2014
tatiana009:


I've heard of cases where it's the man collecting Alimony even though it's rare so the laws is there for both parties it's just that it favours more the party that isn't as rich as the other

It is not just rare BUT EXTREMELY RARE

It is indirect discrimination
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 7:41pm On Oct 05, 2014
CoCoLav:



Thank you! By the time one husband's brother will suddenly come from the village and explain to them how they are 'property' and so cannot inherit their husband's wealth (some of which the both of them even worked for) then their eyes will clear.

This kind of topic no need to argue sef. Just fold hands and watch.

A made man knows what to sign , I guess thats why psquare only settled with the traditional. if you like sign document , if you name or your children's name are not included in the will ... there is nothing you can do . and yes even if there is no will , it depends on whose name he puts down as the next of kin . some men still put down the names of their younger ones as next of kin. you should know the law fully so as not to make a wrong decision.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by uzolexis(f): 7:41pm On Oct 05, 2014
warrior01:


The certificates are readily available. Just go to the local govt and register your marriage.

oh didn't know that.thanks.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 7:41pm On Oct 05, 2014
GooseBaba:


But, Bros... That's not what you said before. You said white wedding gives marriage legal backings...how so..!?

In the system of government policy in Nigeria. Traditional marriage and court registration of marriage is all one needs... But of course, colonial madness of marriage raises its ugly head..




Some Churches have obtained the authority to have the couple sign documents after the joining and them issue them a marriage certificate which is fully recognised by law so it negates the need to go to the registry. So it's not about inferiority but a matter of picking any of the ways of legalising the marriage that you prefer
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by MadCow1: 7:42pm On Oct 05, 2014
InvertedHammer:

/

Try enforcing alimony and child support in Nigeria

My problem with MadCow1 is that he is prescribing antidepressant medications for malaria.

The question is about marriage in Nigeria and he/she is reciting some legal mumbo jumbo he read somewhere.
.


\


I knew one of you Niggas would take that bait.. grin


Now let me test your knowledge of Nigerian Laws with regards to the marriage act. ..

Question : Do you my friend know what term 'maintenance' means as regards the marriage act of Nigeria?

If you do (or if you Google it and find out) then what's your point about enforcement? If the courts awards maintenance to a spouse and the other party refuses to comply, that party would be in direct breach of court orders and would be sent to jail..


I no be lawyer o! But it's still a surprise that I am not..

Thanks for reading more of my legal mumbo jumbo.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by MadCow1: 7:44pm On Oct 05, 2014
tatiana009:


I've heard of cases where it's the man collecting Alimony even though it's rare so the laws is there for both parties it's just that it favours more the party that isn't as rich as the other


Nigerians are bound to interpret lemony more in favour of the women because they subject their wives to being financially dependent and so can't see how they wouldn't be the party paying alimony in the case of a divorce.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 7:44pm On Oct 05, 2014
I remember when I married iya Akin my 2nd wife, we went to church, mosque, shrines, courts etc
Trust me, we have about 63certificates now.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 7:45pm On Oct 05, 2014
majekdom2:
A made man knows what to sign , I guess thats why psquare only settled with the traditional. if you like sign document , if you name or your children's name are not included in the will ... there is nothing you can do . and yes even if there is no will , it depends on whose name he puts down as the next of kin . some men still put down the names of their younger ones as next of kin. you should know the law fully so as not to make a wrong decision.

Lawyers in the house please correct me if I'm wrong but I think most Nigerians mistake the meaning of next of kin. Next of kin refers to the person to by contacted in case of emergencies and it's not about property sharing. In a case where there is no will once a woman petitions the courts and has her marriage certificates she will be awarded the husband's inheritance and then maybe a percentage will be put in trust for the children for when they are old enough.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 7:46pm On Oct 05, 2014
InvertedHammer:

/

Try enforcing alimony and child support in Nigeria

My problem with MadCow1 is that he is prescribing antidepressant medications for malaria.

The question is about marriage in Nigeria and he/she is reciting some legal mumbo jumbo he read somewhere.
.


\
ok , so we are both cons of this thread unlike the other ... you sabi as things dey work for naija.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by CoCoLav(f): 7:48pm On Oct 05, 2014
majekdom2:
A made man knows what to sign , I guess thats why psquare only settled with the traditional. if you like sign document , if you name or your children's name are not included in the will ... there is nothing you can do . and yes even if there is no will , it depends on whose name he puts down as the next of kin . some men still put down the names of their younger ones as next of kin. you should know the law fully so as not to make a wrong decision.


That's where you are wrong. There's something called reasonable financial provision for dependants. If there's no will, that's where your legal marriage comes in or in the absence of a legal marriage, the next of kin.

But then again....I don't want to argue. Wise women know what to do.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by GooseBaba: 7:48pm On Oct 05, 2014
MadCow1:


I did and just for the benefit of the doubt, I re read it and my post still stands.

The Inferiority complex you accused Mr. Owoh of having in response to his post shows you didn't understand his post at all..

He simply was trying to say he picks white weddings over trad because of the legality of it over the rest and that my friend is sound academic argument that has absolutely nothing to do with either an inferior or superior complex.

**Okay.. Who am I and why am I making so much sense with such have elaborate big grammar? Infact I am "Oleku"ing myself right now (feeling the boy).. grin

Na today cow dey man...!? Abeg leave that thing.. Nothing we can't cure with machetes and pepper soup spices...

Meanwhile, go re read again since you dey mad...na you talk am...he was clear about his opulence for white wedding...can the same not be applied to traditional wedding with court documents ... Hence my stance "inferiority things" and it stands gidigba..! No shaking

And while you're at it... Kindly show me which legal documents one gets from white wedding that holds up in the court of law...?
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by pansophist(m): 7:52pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sweetlemon:
They assume ownership of a bride once the bride price has been paid. If the girl is lucky enough they will do traditional wedding but the white or even court wedding will be till further notice. In fact, unless a girl's family are strong Christians who will insist on the complete wedding rites before allowing their daughter move in permanently with man, the man will not think seriously about a formal wedding.

The thing is that most girls are too willing to allow this happen. Unless they pester the man for a court or white wedding, they will wait a long long time, after dropping one or two kids before having this. But their wives don't seem to be very serious about this. I mean, this trend is becoming too rampant nowadays. A good case study is that of P Square duo. (I love P Square and their brides not saying this to hate o) All the other celebs did both trad and white almost immediately after. Yet the P Square family even their brother Jude, are not about taking their brides down the aisle. I know a few girls personally who are doing this.

Ladies please let's be very careful with this issue. A church or at least a court wedding is more solid. With a traditional or just introduction, the man can wake up one morning and throw you out of the house, bring in another woman and there is little or nothing you can do. But when documents have been signed, you get the opportunity to fight for rights to property, fair treatment, etc if you can get a good lawyer. Also, with a certificate, your marriage is recognized anywhere in the world. For instance, without a marriage certificate, your "hubby" living abroad cannot invite you over abroad as it's done in most countries. You will have to go through another route.

Please if you are in this kind of arrangement, use all wisdom available to you to get yourself an official document. The longer you procrastinate, the more difficult it will be for the man to finally tie the knot while you live in his house.

Post like this irritate the hell out of me.

First of all, church and court wedding is not our culture, this are culture introduced by the Europeans.

Secondly, Do you take into consideration the financial status of the man? you all want traditional, court, church/white wedding and you ignore the fact that there is money involve and giving the Nigerian economy which is not smiling, many men will skip it.

Thirdly, You made it looks as if white wedding is a gift from the man to the wife.

Fourthly, not everyone is religious.

After all the public display, ceremonies, parties etc, the most important thing that matters is between the husband and wife, that should be the core focus.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by cococandy(f): 7:53pm On Oct 05, 2014
That a lady in this time and age needs to be told such is in itself disappointing.

Make dem dey sleep on top bike
CoCoLav:



Thank you! By the time one husband's brother will suddenly come from the village and explain to them how they are 'property' and so cannot inherit their husband's wealth (some of which the both of them even worked for) then their eyes will clear.

This kind of topic no need to argue sef. Just fold hands and watch.

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 7:54pm On Oct 05, 2014
CoCoLav:



That's where you are wrong. There's something called reasonable financial provision for dependants. If there's no will, that's where your legal marriage comes in or in the absence of a legal marriage, the next of kin.

But then again....I don't want to argue. Wise women know what to do.
yea , I know the next of kin comes in where there is no spouse ... but for a man to put the name of his siblings as next of kin . you should know what that means.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by CoCoLav(f): 7:54pm On Oct 05, 2014
majekdom2:
do you really know how the average Nigerian man goes about acquiring and securing his properties as it concerns his family ?


The average Nigerian man secures properties in HIS OWN name. These days, I ensure every property my father buys is either in my name or my siblings names. Not even my mother's name.

I love my aunties and uncles oo, but you only know someone's real character when money is involved.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by lezz(m): 7:55pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sweetlemon:
They assume ownership of a bride once the bride price has been paid. If the girl is lucky enough they will do traditional wedding but the white or even court wedding will be till further notice. In fact, unless a girl's family are strong Christians who will insist on the complete wedding rites before allowing their daughter move in permanently with man, the man will not think seriously about a formal wedding.

The thing is that most girls are too willing to allow this happen. Unless they pester the man for a court or white wedding, they will wait a long long time, after dropping one or two kids before having this. But their wives don't seem to be very serious about this. I mean, this trend is becoming too rampant nowadays. A good case study is that of P Square duo. (I love P Square and their brides not saying this to hate o) All the other celebs did both trad and white almost immediately after. Yet the P Square family even their brother Jude, are not about taking their brides down the aisle. I know a few girls personally who are doing this.

Ladies please let's be very careful with this issue. A church or at least a court wedding is more solid. With a traditional or just introduction, the man can wake up one morning and throw you out of the house, bring in another woman and there is little or nothing you can do. But when documents have been signed, you get the opportunity to fight for rights to property, fair treatment, etc if you can get a good lawyer. Also, with a certificate, your marriage is recognized anywhere in the world. For instance, without a marriage certificate, your "hubby" living abroad cannot invite you over abroad as it's done in most countries. You will have to go through another route.

Please if you are in this kind of arrangement, use all wisdom available to you to get yourself an official document. The longer you procrastinate, the more difficult it will be for the man to finally tie the knot while you live in his house.
when a man completes the traditional requirements in marrying his wife, the marriage is complete. The woman should move in with him. All other forms of marriages are secondary. Any family insisting on keeping their daughter after all traditional requirements have been fulfilled is meddling. Court or white weddings are at the discretion of the couple later on if they so wish. Africans licking western azzes without a thought.

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by CoCoLav(f): 7:55pm On Oct 05, 2014
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