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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding (66043 Views)
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Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by akatekpe(m): 10:50pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
The only recognised wedding in the bible is TRADITIONAL..the wedding at CANAN was purely traditional and not the so called WHITE weddings( church/court).Court weddin is kinda business like,while church wedding has been turned to shows.Couples no longer pay attention to the spiritual aspect of church wedding,they are much interested in showing up#myweddingistalkofthetown 1 Like |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:50pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
majekdom2: But wait o... Does anybody truly knw the true intent of whom u r getting married to? No matter how many years, one stays wit his or her partner, u won't knw their true intent, except by God's grace, d person with evil intent fucvks up.. We simple pray, watch and hope 2 marry a good partner, that will last wit one for many years 2 come. Cos if u r looking 4 intent. U go search taya. |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:52pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
Amelian:what he did does not guarantee he cant run away tomorrow or make him responsible. all these talk is because we see all men as responsible. in a case where a man is irresponsible , I bet you would wish you never married him ..... you will gladly walk out..... material gains should not be a factor for our decisions in marriage. |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:58pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
Amelian:The one at home you said ..... he could have several homes. if he refused sleeping home will it solve the problem . I laff in greek. |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 11:03pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
Amelian:yes , you cannot tell one's intent totally but you can tell one's attitude and behaviour ,this is where wisdom comes to play. tho change is the only permanent thing. |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Medunah: 11:05pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
Well, as for me, am doing all..,,court, religious and tradition, do i even have a choice? |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by hrmkz: 11:08pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
Rather unfortunate that love is no basis for unions. but men and women are guilty here. |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by adrainuche(m): 11:13pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
Is Good to know that Nigerian Men are finding their Feet, We use to have to many stupid men.... |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by pickabeau1: 11:18pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
Marriage the fastest means out of poverty and into inheritance for some Nigerian women since 1660 BC Nothing about love but property Only property 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by BecaciaBarbie(f): 11:19pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
2sExy1:Your last paragraph got me rolling ![]() |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by jayjagz: 11:20pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
Sweetlemon:I think I need to make some things clear here. It may seem long but it's very helpful, ignorance of the law is not an excuse. There are two types of marriage recognised under the Nigerian law. Statutory Marriage(popularly called Court Marriage) and Customary Marriage( Islamic marriage is sometimes categorised as customary marriage). Customary marriage is a marriage according to the native law and custom; for it to be valid, it requires the payment of bride price and the handing over of the bride to the groom's family among other things. It is potentially polygamous and that's why the man can marry more than one wife but it is valid and recognised under the Nigerian law. Thus, anybody validly married under customary law(traditional wedding), cannot contract a valid statutory marriage(court marriage) but the man can marry another woman. On the other hand, Statutory marriage is a marriage according to the Marriage Act. It is the union for life of one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others during the subsistence of the marriage. Marrying another wife when married to a person under the statute attracts a punishment of 5years imprisonment. A statutory marriage can be conducted in a Registry, a Licensed place of worship( a church authorised by government for court wedding) or a place stated in a special licence. It is very important to note that mere church blessing does not constitute a Valid statutory marriage(court marriage) nor does it add anything to an existing civil marriage. Therefore, all the preliminaries to the statutory marriage must be done such as giving notice of marriage(publication of banns), obtaining registrar's certificate or special license etc. In other words, the fact that a couple just went to church and the pastor prayed for them does not mean the man cannot marry another wife(i.e ordinary going to church is not tantamount to statutory marriage). The woman must ensure that all the necessary formalities are carried out. However, it is a reality that statutory marriage does not guarantee a monogamous matrimonial life but don't you think it's better to be on the safer side? I would stop here for now but my advice is that it's better to consult a legal expert and conduct a statutory marriage to be on the safer side. I'm will entertain questions. 2 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by eezor: 11:24pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
cococandy:y e b say, its only the man that Must DIE first?. oh, so the whole documents things is just a preparation for legal battle when the man dies abi? for ur own info, we (men) no go die first again u hear? 1 Like |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by ayobase(m): 11:27pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by ayobase(m): 11:28pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
100Cents: YOU SAID IT. So, you were still able to quote that post within 30 seconds of posting and deleting.....I now understand ur predicament! |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by AreaFada2: 11:30pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
tatiana009: My dear, there's human law & there's biological/natural law. As a guy of science I know that nature always trump man-made laws. Why do you think the lowly, average n high & mighty tend to be unfaithful? From Baba Onikeke vulcaniser to bankers to J F kennedy & Bill Clinton (a lawyer)? Because behind all the facade of civilisation, education & sophistication, they ultimately succumb to human/biological urges. When you consider that about 75% (some would say even more) of people are either physically or emotionally unfaithful, then it's not an aberration but the norm. Maybe it was normal in the garden of Eden, but monogamy didn't help there either. A second wife might have dissuaded Adam from listening to eve. Now check this out: divorce rate now stands at 50%, 50% of firstborn kids don't belong to the guy they call dad, 30% of all kids would fail paternity test! So momogamy has failed woefully. For most people anyway. FYI: I come from a monogamous home, my grand dad too was monogamous. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 11:31pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
jayjagz:My question is how many cheating men have gone to jail .... abi none of these men wey dey cheat dey do court marriage. it is only nigerian marriages that preach longsuffering and pain endurance. the western tradition we are bringing in dont preach it...... apparently the OP's aim was to identify with inheritances .... which should not be. |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by jasper7(m): 11:38pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
I think the major reason guys "shy" away from all these marriage ceremonies is simply because of the financial burden being incurred during such weddings most times are disastrous. If there was a way around it trust me, most men will take it. And since we africans can't do a ceremony according to budget and our income, we rather wait till we've saved enuf. |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by AreaFada2: 11:39pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
majekdom2:. Mbok, helepu me kwesion dem o. Last time I checked, adultery is not a crime under Nigerian secular law. Morally uncool, yeah. Ground for filing for divorce, yeah. |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 11:43pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
Who needs a court wedding? Olorun omaje. If she no gree, make she gerrout. Her type (and better) plenty for outside. Traditional wedding and (perhaps) a 'white' celebration, and that's it. The day you begin to grow wings and spread your K legs outside, I'll send you back to your parents as amicably as possible, and assume sole financial responsibility for my DNA-certified children. No time for litigational rubbish. 4 Likes |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by jayjagz: 11:43pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
majekdom2:that is a very good question. I raised the question as well in one of my papers in that the law seems to be a decoration. But the question is this: "how many woman have claimed their right in court?" like you said, they believe in long suffering and pain endurance. The court is not a father Christmas and obviously, everyday is not christmas. Therefore, you can't be given what you've not asked for. Concerning inheritance, I believe "we" men are just being unreasonable because the issue of inheritance is also an effect of marriage; if you know you don't want a woman to inherit your property then don't marry her. It's as simple as that but it's visible even to the blind that most men just want to play on the woman's intelligence, use her and go searching for a fresh meat. I stand to be corrected, over 90% of marital problems are caused by men!!! We just use the issue of property or inheritance as a cover-up. 2 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 11:43pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
jasper7:another question how many Nigerian women would like to get married the way it is done in china , where thousands of people get married on the same day , place and same manner. these marriages hardly fail .... isnt marriage overrated in Nigeria. |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by AreaFada2: 11:47pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
Amelian:, Uhum. When madam organise with her boyfriend (who may even be oga's driver) to eliminate oga nko? Which protection oga get? Or you think some women are not evil enough to do so? With court paper in hand, all the wealth (so called protection) is hers, shey? Ok....the man must have been very bad to her for her to do such thing. Women always have excuses for everything you see. 1 Like |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by jasper7(m): 11:49pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
majekdom2:My point exactly, every girl wants a "talk of the town" wedding. Evey girl wants to be featured on bella naija. Even the poor want to compete with the rich. So... let's wait till the money is there before we have it. 1 Like |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by jasper7(m): 11:57pm On Oct 05, 2014 |
At the end of the day. It's the broke ones that protect "property". property wey them no get before. Maybe, one rickety half plot of land in a swampy area in bayelsa. Lol. 4 Likes |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 12:06am On Oct 06, 2014 |
jayjagz:they may not be able to go to court because they are solely dependent on the hubby , hence financing such cases could be hard .... like someone said , the hubby may provide a customary law that will leave the woman with nothing. the inheritance stuff makes a man thinks twice. I have been on a thread where some women envisaged aiding their hubby's death because he cheats on them . the inheritances are for the kids not the wife's |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by crackhouse(m): 12:07am On Oct 06, 2014 |
Assuming the lady's husband die tommorrow. How will she claim her husband's property if she happen to find herself in a family of trouble makers. I think the marriage certificate is very important. 1 Like |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by yemivictor: 12:10am On Oct 06, 2014 |
Amelian: Hmmm! Your cousin is in serious potential trouble, documents or not. |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 12:14am On Oct 06, 2014 |
yemivictor:lols .... young girl wants to chance iya agba .... she never see anything . the cousin matter dey dem iya's pipeline am very sure. |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by jayjagz: 12:14am On Oct 06, 2014 |
majekdom2:That is why we have the Legal Aid Council, NGOs especially those for women like the Women's law Clinic at University of Ibadan etc and some lawyers are ready to do pro bono if the wife has a good case. Although I'm not encouraging aiding their husband's death but you too see what you typed "cheats". I repeat, "we" Men are the major cause of this problem and we only put up useless defence mechanisms. 1 Like |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by nnemmpi(m): 12:21am On Oct 06, 2014 |
nonsense, must we copy everything the white man is doing? |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 12:22am On Oct 06, 2014 |
jayjagz:am not in support of it ... but the bible encorages divorce in case of adultery.... what am trying to say is the document is very useful for its formalties but we all know not everyone will be interested in the court marriage. especially , the semi illiterates who may not know why this it is important. we all have got diff views , you may see polygamous as wrong while some other fellow might see it as totaly right. do your research .... do the islamic marriages not last than majority of our christain and court marriages even when it is a case of one man and one woman ? |
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by yemivictor: 12:25am On Oct 06, 2014 |
gogodaye: A trillion likes for this post. I couldn't have said it better. |
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