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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate (1795 Views)
8 Things Guys Do That Make Ladies To Loose Respect For Them / Annoying Boyfriend Habits That Girls Hate / Things That Girls Secretly Envy About Guys. (2) (3) (4)
5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by raphy(m): 8:50pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
Thoughtful gestures—as long as your heart's in the right place—will win you points, right? Sorry, wrong. In fact, many of the nice things you do for your girlfriend may actually be driving her crazy: Buying her jewelry that's not her style, surprising her with romance at inopportune times, trying to fix her problems (rather than just listening to them), for example. What sweet, point-winning moves are you making that she secretly hates? It's not quite as tricky as it sounds, says psychologist Alicia Clark, PsyD. "The problem mainly happens when a gesture isn't fully considered in terms of how a partner will feel," Clark says. "Thinking of how she'll feel about something is always a safe move to make sure your thoughtful gestures are received in the way you intended." Okay, consider her feelings and you'll probably do fine—but here are some moves to avoid anyway. 1. Buying her jewelry I love jewelry—most women do. So why am I almost always disappointed when a guy presents me with something sparkly? "Guys make the mistake of thinking that the broad category of 'jewelry' is enough," says relationship expert Tracy Thomas, Ph.D. "It's not." Women are very particular about jewelry, she says, and if you're not paying attention to what she actually likes and wears, your thoughtful gift comes across as a lack of interest. "It looks like you don't know or care about what she really loves," Thomas says. "If you're going to buy her jewelry, you'd better know what she likes to wear. You can look for clues—does she like hearts, does she like gold or silver, is she drawn to bigger or smaller pieces?" 2. Trying to fix her problems Unless her problem is a leaky faucet, a hard-to-hang painting, or a spider, she probably doesn't want you to fix it. "Men and women are very different in this regard," says psychotherapist Vinita Mehta, Ph.D. "When a woman is feeling down, she typically wants to be heard and have her feelings validated." Translation: If she's having issues with her best friend or a colleague at work, she wants to vent, not come up with a solution. All you have to do is listen to her and (occasionally) agree. 3. Lavishing her with gifts A pretty necklace here, some roses there—that's fine. But a constant onslaught of clothes, jewelry, perfume, and other "thinking of you" trinkets? Not smart. She dislikes your avalanche of gifts for a couple of reasons. According to Clark, too much masculine care-taking behavior (i.e. buying her things) feels controlling, especially if she's gainfully employed and financially capable of taking care of herself. Also, even if your intentions are pure, she feels pressure to reciprocate—and no woman wants to be in a relationship where she constantly feels one step behind. 4. Jumping in the shower without an invitation I'm all for sexy shower time—but when I'm 20 minutes late and trying to simultaneously shave my legs and deep-condition my hair, you'd better have a damn good reason for hopping in and stealing half the hot water. "Physical space is an important component in relationships," Clark says. "Entering another's space uninvited—even if you're trying to be affectionate—can fall flat." I'm not saying you can't be spontaneous and romantic, just try not to do it when we're pressed for time or in the middle of getting ready: No girl wants to be dragged away for a quickie when she's halfway done with her makeup. 5. Checking in on her You know the drill: Drop her off, but wait until she's inside before driving off. That's fine—no woman is going to fault you for seeing her safely home. But when you start asking her where she is, or when she's coming back, even if it's just because you care about her and are excited to see her, she'll start getting irritated. "This is almost always meant to convey interest, caring, and affection," says Clark. "But it can read to her as controlling and jealous. Too much attention can feel invasive." Bottom line: Unless she asks you to, or you need her immediate expertise on how to put out a kitchen fire (or something), try not to check in on her. |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by evolg(m): 8:55pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
Hmmmmm |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by iceberylin(m): 9:01pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
ŴŔĨŤĨŃĞ "Ťhanks ŦŐŔ ÁČČĔPŤĨŃĞ MĔ" ĨŃ ŤĤĔĨŔ facebook ŤĨMĔĹĨŃĔ ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by Jakeattah(m): 9:07pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
Even making love to them.... They pretend they hate it. |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by frezeh: 9:08pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
wot nys thing do they now actually lyk ![]() |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by farano(f): 9:24pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
frezeh:Many things...like buying cars, houses, diamonds, etc ![]() |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by KingTom(m): 9:28pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by Nobody: 9:29pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
...Thats a big lie... We actually love guys doing this....We love it when our guys surprises us...We love little but silly things.... ..We love those little romantic gestures guys make...... |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by MisterLongman(m): 9:34pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
temigracie:Are you their spokesperson 1 Like |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by raphy(m): 10:05pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
i tink it high tym i make fp this month. |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by Nobody: 10:14pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
raphy: What's the hype about hitting front-page? Do guys get paid secretly or what?.. I don't get this. |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by mesoade(m): 10:22pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
All the points the OP mentioned are what girls on NL had quondamly said they liked. Girls are just the most confused set of beings |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by raphy(m): 10:27pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
TrollMan:lol ,guy itseems u r new in d hood.any fp is the world will see ya post.if its not there they hv dump it in the drawer.do u get tht money is not everythin o |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by Nobody: 10:41pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
raphy: Okay I get it. Online popularity huh?... It's lame but good luck. ![]() **That awkward moment **. -_- |
Re: 5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate by Etetejake(m): 11:43pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
farano: we are in nairaLand not dreamerland. |
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