Stats: 3,190,721 members, 7,941,740 topics. Date: Friday, 06 September 2024 at 12:27 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / [The Poet's Cave] (2550 Views)
THE POET / Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition (2) (3) (4)
[The Poet's Cave] by Chuksemi(m): 12:10am On Oct 09, 2014 |
The world is filled with people who are addicted to one thing or the other. I could remember years ago, while I struggled to quit sucking my navel. It was war, I say. Some of us are still struggling with something, that thing we don't do in public but in secret. We hate it, but we can't help it. To you this poem is dedicated. [b]My love and dear friend I will follow you, it's the trend In secret we interwine In view of opticals, we disband Momentarily, though my joy In your grip I am like a toy Your kisses like ripe strawberry My feet are feeble when I stand before you My love for you is strong Our romance would last long My eyes are misty Your hands should be around me Why doesn't my gain endure? I am devoted to you for sure Momentarily my joy I say Hours I spend to gain that little You cheat on me with impunity I cling to your supposed purity Brain spins, heart sparks I can now see effects of loving you Resolved I am to quit Yet I achieve not this feat My legs are chained Blame them, they walked into you Bang the adverse hits me harder Misty eyes I would not go further Determind I am, though I fail One day I would be free Free to roam the streets of life Sure not to be your wife Relieve resides always in me now Cos with fierceness I fight I fight to keep my sanity Yeah, to prevent insanity One day I would win the fight Today, I have won[/b] 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by Chuksemi(m): 12:14am On Oct 09, 2014 |
This tries to depict my fight with my addiction, quite a few actually. Today, I have dumped them. It wasn't easy, but nothing worth much is. I purposely left out the title. If you get this poem's message, you can give it a title. Thanks much. Cc. Timparker, texanomaly, firestar, haddon, oma4u, divepen, davep 2 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by daveP(m): 12:22am On Oct 09, 2014 |
Want!! ![]() |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by texanomaly(f): 12:41am On Oct 09, 2014 |
Chuksemi: Wow! You didn't "try" to depict your struggle. You "did" it. Nice job. ![]() Just one thing though... You sucked your navel? Seriously? You must be way more limber than me. ![]() |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by Chuksemi(m): 9:17am On Oct 09, 2014 |
texanomaly: Thanks much ma ![]() ![]() |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by timpaker(m): 9:50am On Oct 09, 2014 |
Chuksemi: Interesting.... ![]() Oya make I go write about 'Yam'..... Yeah that's the only addiction I know... Brb... ![]() |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by Chuksemi(m): 3:36pm On Oct 09, 2014 |
daveP:Want? Explain uncle ![]() |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by Chuksemi(m): 3:37pm On Oct 09, 2014 |
timpaker:Yam? Lol, you're definitely not serious are you? ![]() |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by OMA4U(m): 3:46pm On Oct 09, 2014 |
Chuksemi: Well written poem. I love it! In verse 2, try changing to, "In your firm grip I am a puppet" ..... "your kisses are sweet sour strawberry/that kneel my feeble feet before your dominating heart" I think this brings out better imagery and the use of some words like 'puppet' shows that your addiction controls you and you have no power over its 'dominating heart'. Heart signifies love between you and your addiction as you portray the poem. Also the oxymoron used, 'sweet sour' shows that you enjoy what you despise, but you can't help it. You will also notice the alliteration employed, 'sweet sour strawberry' it aids the flow. (Timparker knows this better). Do some more revisions. I love your poems! God bless you, sir OMA |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by OMA4U(m): 3:50pm On Oct 09, 2014 |
timpaker:Oya go write am. Don't forget to tag me. What's even my own addictions? I've got many. Some I love; others I despise. |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by daveP(m): 1:26pm On Oct 10, 2014 |
Chuksemi:was contemplating that as a possible title for the poem. Guess its not too conc for it. Have any1 suggested a title? |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by timpaker(m): 5:20pm On Oct 10, 2014 |
[b]YAM! YAM!! YAM!!! (quatrain) You don’t know this tuber No. You haven’t got a clue This satiable hairy staples of desire Is a mystery so true Day after day, I long for you, The rioting worms roll and roll So you could drop in and tame The hunger that's been on toll You creep into my head timelessly And even haunt my taste By drowning my tongue from its drools For another meal to make haste Time after time, you just stare sexily, Unclad and stained with sweaty juice Arous ing my appetite like sex on a plate ![]() To an aftermath that rules my muse I must confess, I'm a bit lazy To groom you from the mound And mulch you after the four market days Anticipating hairy but brown-tanned skin grown and found I wish I could trade my vein for your rhizome And watch my sweat fertile through Your underground stem Until I sight a sprout in you I could choicely drown you in soft oil Till you are strong and munchy Or lay you in synchro swimming steel To boil overly I could also make you synergize With the red moldy water And sauce you tenderly, Veggies, but would skip onions in such order ![]() Should I let your scent torment me? Not for anymore that long Or else they'll jealously make other meal Ask my black-tanned steel what went wrong? But it is you, you my satiable yam The eye of my taste The desire in my mouth To whom I'm hungrily chaste [/b] 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by timpaker(m): 5:23pm On Oct 10, 2014 |
Chuksemi: OMA4U: There you have it.... ![]() Apologies for sending it late. I just check the thread now and wrote it asap. Any error(s) should be pardoned too ![]() Tolutweety I see you!!! ![]() |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by tolutweety(m): 5:27pm On Oct 10, 2014 |
^^^ Good one. Me likey...cos yam is my favourite too. ![]() ![]() 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by texanomaly(f): 6:03pm On Oct 10, 2014 |
daveP: Inamorata, courtesan, paramour 1 Like |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by daveP(m): 10:46pm On Oct 10, 2014 |
texanomaly:phew!! What should i say? I'm lost inbetween already. Kindly decipher ![]() |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by texanomaly(f): 12:17am On Oct 11, 2014 |
daveP: in·am·o·ra·ta iˌnaməˈrädə/ noun a person's female lover. cour·te·san ˈkôrdəzən,ˈkôrdəzan/ noun a prostitute, especially one with wealthy or upper-class clients. par·a·mour ˈperəˌmo͝or/ noun a lover, especially the illicit partner of a married person. *********** Or Temptress Seductress séduction accomplie Entranced He's described his bad habit as if it were a lover that he can't quit. "She" is an addiction. He is helpless against Her charms. |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by daveP(m): 12:22am On Oct 11, 2014 |
texanomaly:( sits and learn) Thanks. Texanomaly! ![]() |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by texanomaly(f): 12:25am On Oct 11, 2014 |
I like Paramour. Elicite, tawdry, evil but too lucious to abstain. |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by Chuksemi(m): 8:47am On Oct 15, 2014 |
OMA4U: Aye, aye. Review I would sir. The verse you spat out now is certainly legendary, had me smiling and stuff. Thanks much, for loving my poems. How about your addictions, any? |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by Chuksemi(m): 8:56am On Oct 15, 2014 |
daveP: Eh... Want, I think it's quite possible to name it that. The want to quit an addiction. ![]() |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by Chuksemi(m): 8:59am On Oct 15, 2014 |
texanomaly: Madam, you can be very esoteric and vague when you want to. ![]() ![]() |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by Chuksemi(m): 9:09am On Oct 15, 2014 |
timpaker: Heaven send help! You are certainly one tough act to follow. ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by OMA4U(m): 9:13am On Oct 15, 2014 |
Chuksemi:I've not got the enough time to upload poems lately. Watch out for the new poetry inventions this weekend. I'll tag you anyway. Thanks OMA |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by Chuksemi(m): 9:14am On Oct 15, 2014 |
tolutweety: How do you guys do it? ![]() ![]() |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by Chuksemi(m): 9:26am On Oct 15, 2014 |
OMA4U:My lips do drool When my eyes see what you would do Yes they wait patiently for you And your fingers, your tool. |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by timpaker(m): 11:45am On Oct 15, 2014 |
Chuksemi: Thanks man. Yam is to me what lasagna is to Garfield, It is indeed "the food of the gods" ![]() ![]() Its easy and faster to cook, sweet to eat, good for the jaw (just in case you wanna exercise) ![]() ![]() Now I'm hungry. |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by texanomaly(f): 6:19pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
Chuksemi: I just mean it is something you know you shouldn't do, but you can't stop yourself. |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by daveP(m): 6:47pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
Chuksemi:yeah, i read it betwn the lines ![]() @timpaker why garfield now? ![]() ![]() |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by texanomaly(f): 7:02pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
daveP: 1 Like
|
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by Chuksemi(m): 7:22pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
I am going to make a poem about cowardice. |
Re: [The Poet's Cave] by daveP(m): 8:09pm On Oct 15, 2014 |
E.d.e.n / Colours- A Collection Of Poems On Love And Friendship / Poem: Sweet Lies
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 57 |