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What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by freezyprinzy(m): 8:09am On Oct 15, 2014
Amusaopeyemi:

It still happens o, especially when the person is from a particular tribe your parents. Don't like.
I've seen parents telling their children not to bring home girls from certain tribes.
yea mum told me dat..and i myself don't fancy ladies from dat tribe so no wahala

1 Like

Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by MissOlawumi(f): 8:20am On Oct 15, 2014
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Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by Adehbolar(f): 8:29am On Oct 15, 2014
Yh it will be kinda difficult buh my parent don't choose for me cos I will be d one in d marriage not dem. Doh blessing is needed too
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by destante(f): 8:31am On Oct 15, 2014
jaybiz007:
Being in love is an emotional madness that weakens your sense of judgment depending on the degree of commitment. It is advisable to listen to your parents in such a situation and also your siblings because you might not be seeing what they are seeing, but most importantly, seek for divine wisdom from Allah. Even the bible says and I quote; "He who has found a GOOD wife, has found a good thing.". My opinion though.
I like this. But how do you know when the parents are not judging based on their tribal or personal differences.
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by Nobody: 8:41am On Oct 15, 2014
Lathunjimi:


You are right, my close pal been dating this Edo girl for the past 9 yrs but his family is against him marrying her, now he s in a dilemma, he neither could tell her he quits cos he madly loves her meanwhile the girl had even turned down many wealthy matches made by her royal family in the past neither can he go ahead to call for marriage b'cos no one approves of it in his family. As a matter of fact that's why he isn't married yet. We friends like the girl cos she s good, caring and lovable but what can we do. Mayb someone has an advise that could work.
na die ur friend dey o.
after 10-15yrs, then ur friend ll see the great consequences of marrying her..

benin girl undecided

benin girl cry
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by yokiti: 8:43am On Oct 15, 2014
carsellerz:



same bible you quoted says a man will leave his mum and dad And join with his wife for him to raise a family. marriage dis days doesnt work on sentiment you marry who you think you love and can live with for the next 30yrs.
Leaving his mother and father is different from seeking approval from you parents. The approval must be done before leaving them to settle with your beloved.
If parents are not "tribe" or its other associated ills bias; their wealth of experience in life which will influence their judgement shouldnt be thrown to the trash can.
If you decide to throw their advice to the gutters, you should leave will the consequence afterwards.
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by Nobody: 8:46am On Oct 15, 2014
carsellerz:



same bible you quoted says a man will leave his mum and dad And join with his wife for him to raise a family. marriage dis days doesnt work on sentiment you marry who you think you love and can live with for the next 30yrs.
Did the bible ask you to disobey them in the process of getting a wife. Obey them even as you going to make a family,while you making a family and after you've made a family.

1 Like

Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by Adeyinka123: 9:03am On Oct 15, 2014
I will keep praying till they consent or I change my mind for another person. They are my parents for GOD's sake.
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by Nobody: 9:05am On Oct 15, 2014
Princecalm:
What do you do when your Dad or Mum detest of the one you love so dearly?.Will you just ignore and go on with the wedding.

I'm a huge fan of treaties, truce and dialogue.

I'd expect my parents to give me concrete reasons why they don't fancy my spouse, if those are reasons that I can't help, I'd probably have to give them reasons why I love my spouse, reasons I'm pretty sure they can't help as well.

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Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by uzolexis(f): 9:07am On Oct 15, 2014
Sometimes our parents reasons for not liking our partners are not valid. Most Nigerian parents want their kids to marry from their tribe which is ridiculous,my parents are not an exception n unfortunately I don't get along well with igbo guys cry . If my parents give me that as an excuse,i'm sorry 2 say this but I won't listen. I'll try to convince them otherwise n hope they change their mind.
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by texazzpete(m): 9:12am On Oct 15, 2014
You really should listen to the reasons why they don't like her.

For valid reasons, consider leaving.

For reasons like "she is short and i want you to marry a tall person" or "You must not marry an Mbaise girl o! I heard they like money" you need to stand your ground.

1 Like

Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by ayomidegambari(m): 9:15am On Oct 15, 2014
I ll put knife on my neck and say 'mum, dad..which do u prefer? My demise or d girl I want 2 marry?
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by tintingz(m): 9:16am On Oct 15, 2014
[size=13pt]The most common reason parents detests ones lover is because of tribe and religion diff.[/size]
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by debby2380(f): 9:16am On Oct 15, 2014
Princecalm:
What do you do when your Dad or Mum detest of the one you love so dearly?.Will you just ignore and go on with the wedding.
seek God first.
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by debby2380(f): 9:18am On Oct 15, 2014
Princecalm:
What do you do when your Dad or Mum detest of the one you love so dearly?.Will you just ignore and go on with the wedding.
seek God first..
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by sirben123: 9:20am On Oct 15, 2014
First you must make them the power of Love and sit with them, you all should have a talk and know their reason for not liking the one you love and if there is a good reason stated then you can then think about it but if there is non of which is always common then you must go one with the wedding after all they won't live with you for the rest of your life and the truth is don't let Love or the urge for wanting to get married to him cloud your judgement because this can always happen we don't usually see the bad in someone we love while others are looking straight at the bad and nice topic even if it doesn't relate to you but do relate to some people and also take note that LOVE is only what matters here, parent don't choose who their children marries anymore its you and lastly Take it to God in Prayer for more love and relationship tips Visist www.gistglobe.com
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by zboyd: 9:25am On Oct 15, 2014
Princecalm:
What do you do when your Dad or Mum detest of the one you love so dearly?.Will you just ignore and go on with the wedding.

I've faced this before!

His family detests me because I'm not Nigerian.

Remember the wedding pictures posted of a Naija woman marrying an AA man? Remember the look on the parents' faces, especially the mother, during and after the wedding? Almost same look, when I first met his parents, other siblings and assorted relatives...and it was downhill all the way from that. If looks could, I would be a dead sister. And all that hisssssssssssin' and rolling of the eyes from the women! lol I can laugh about it now but back then it wasn't even funny. I was so put off that there were a couple of times that I actually suggested to him that we break up. Thank goodness we hung in there.

Anyways...we just went on with the wedding. No one from his side of the family showed up except for his baby sister, her three kids and her husband who live here. They were the only ones sitting on his family's side of the church. His parents, other siblings and some other family members have even turned a bit on his baby sister, because she dares associate with us. That's the reason he never bothered building back home and that's the reason we've only visited twice. His family was a bit hostile and so unwelcoming, he was like "Hell no!" to any more visits. We had to stay with one of his friends, both times. His parents and people don't even acknowledge our marriage or our kids, after two decades. Nasty group of people. My people love him to death though.

Oh well, such is life!

1 Like

Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by ahujesus: 9:27am On Oct 15, 2014
Yes the bible say obey your parents , but also the bible say that your parents should not lead u in the wrong direction, if what you are doing the right thing and they are not, as long as you are the right thing in Gods will , please go ahead and follow your life, yes your parents brought to this world yet you are independent of YOUR life, you are accountable to your self and to God and not any parents , whatsoever you make out of life is your sole responsibilities....

Please forget the saying that what an olde person sees that you don't see, be guided that you ll live with this man or woman all your life , your parents can only pray for you to see and also advice accordingly or help you accept your happiness, if they are true to you, whosoever you deem fit to stay with for the rest of your life is your choice and so you are ready to accept and take all the consequences there in.even their own marriage is not made in heaven, imagine if your father was not allowed to marry your mother, will he or she be happy?

In situations where our parents gets our spouses for us , have there not been issues too?

There is freedom even in Gods will, that is why God allows us all to take all the chances here on earth but we are to give account of how we spent our lives here, or else he should have enforced us all to do what he wants to gain salvation, please your happiness comes first, be him a cripple, a poor man, an impotent man, from sambisa Forrest or from the space , as long as i have chosen him and he finds me and i sort the face of God concerning him and he approves of him, NAIRALANDERS i ll go ahead and be with my happiness,.............after all when i die na God i go yan to , not my parents or his too.


No one can make you happier than u making your self happy, no matter what, FOLLOW THE MIND OF YOUR CREATOR , HE NEVER SEGREGATES OOO

1 Like

Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by Missmossy(f): 9:27am On Oct 15, 2014
I really can't imagine settling down with a partner detested by my folks. If i try all i can to convince them and its all to no avail,i'd look forward and let their decision stand because they know better than i do.

Its gonna be a tough choice though,but what will be will be.

2 Likes

Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by RiffRaff: 9:47am On Oct 15, 2014
It's fascinatin d way some adult reason in Nigeria. Parent control grown up like kids.
If your parent can tell u who or who you shouldnt marry then you shouldnt be walkin down d aisle @ all cuz you are a baby with no mind of ur own.
If my parent were to object to my spousal choice, i would wanna know why? If it has anything to do wit Tribal, Religion, Colour or anytin remotely stupid and retarded. I wil be marryin my spouse with or without their conscent.
I love my parent so much but its my life, my choice. Na me go live wit the person for the rest of my life and that is who i have choosen to be with.

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Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by uyigue1(m): 10:12am On Oct 15, 2014
Pls help urgently house, my brother has been dating a girl for the past 5 or 6 years now, he even travelled and still come back home to settle down,now he wants to marry the lady....my parents were giving him an excuse that the lady is mother is not good say she will control my brother because she was haveing only 4 girls no boy and the man did not marry 2 wifes onlike my father who marry 3, he is now treating my brother to leave the lady and this lady has done abortion for my brother almost 5 or 7 times while in school and my brother loves her what do i advice plss?urgent reply needed cos my brother has treat he must marry the lady while my father still stand on the point no marriage...... This lady is a bini girl
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by kokoA(m): 10:13am On Oct 15, 2014
I will shoot them.
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by Guyman02: 10:34am On Oct 15, 2014
If it has to do with marriage, make your own decision not parents, but listen to them if their argument is not just out of primordial sentiments like tribe, status or class, Osu or outcast, body shape etc.

A man who decides that it is the scrotum of a ram that he wants to eat should know that he is indebted to elephantiaisis of the scrotum (Igbo proverb)

1 Like

Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by lusciouslex: 10:42am On Oct 15, 2014
Mum/dad give me a meaningful reason for the rejection or is it just DISLIKE @ 1st sight?
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by fabela(f): 10:44am On Oct 15, 2014
Dnt knw wat to say
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by slimmingcare(f): 10:58am On Oct 15, 2014
It is not really a worst scenario.You will have to satisfy the interest of your wife and also not to offend your mother.God help us
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by lusciouslex: 10:59am On Oct 15, 2014
What is the yardstick used to define a successful marriage? Is it by the number of kids, togetherness, prosperity, long life, what really? The hand of God is just key to everything instead of what mortals have to say. Am not saying one should'nt heed to wise counsel but it should be noted that your parent won't live with you in your own home. So, between your happiness(the good unique chemistry with your lover) and your parent's opinion mostly 'mum', what should be sacrificed?
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by dskenky(m): 11:07am On Oct 15, 2014
@ Op

I believe that before a wedding takes place, a relationship must have existed between both parties. Again, this relationship must have a duration also i believe.
Therefore, in between the duration of the amorous relationship; i want to believe that mom and Dad would have sighted or spotted the would-be spouse.; which would eventually lead to this probable introduction thus: '' Mom and Dad, allow me to introduce so so and so .....''.
Okay...now that both parents have been formally or informally introduced to the babe... questions about her would definitely come up(whether you like am or not). So. people, my two kobo here is that , during this period of ''question and answer session'' by your folks, you would get to know tacitly?outright/in your face/ whether your parents approve of her before you tie the nuptial knot!
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by fola14: 11:07am On Oct 15, 2014
jaybiz007:
Being in love is an emotional madness that weakens your sense of judgment depending on the degree of commitment. It is advisable to listen to your parents in such a situation and also your siblings because you might not be seeing what they are seeing, but most importantly, seek for divine wisdom from Allah. Even the bible says and I quote; "He who has found a GOOD wife, has found a good thing.". My opinion though.

BROS, PLEASE WHEN QUOTING, QUOTE RIGHT. WHAT THAT VERSE QUOTES IS BELOW. THERE WAS NO MENTION OF GOOD WIFE, IT SAYS WHOEVER FINDS A WIFE, FINDS A GOOD THING.

FYI: Pro_18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by Obijoy(m): 11:21am On Oct 15, 2014
jaybiz007:
Being in love is an emotional madness that weakens your sense of judgment depending on the degree of commitment. It is advisable to listen to your parents in such a situation and also your siblings because you might not be seeing what they are seeing, but most importantly, seek for divine wisdom from Allah. Even the bible says and I quote; "He who has found a GOOD wife, has found a good thing.". My opinion though.
Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by DebateNigeria: 11:24am On Oct 15, 2014
fruqsy:

Did the bible ask you to disobey them in the process of getting a wife. Obey them even as you going to make a family,while you making a family and after you've made a family.
People always quote bible to serve their purpose.
The book of Ephisians 6:1-4 is clear. I will higlight some points people miss out.
Vs 1- children obey your parents IN THE LORD. people always miss that point. The bible does not preach tribal hatred or otherwise. If its in the Lord I will obey.
Vs 4- And, ye fathers PROVOKE NOT YOUR CHILDREN TO WRATH, but bring them up in d nurture and admonition of the Lord. If you train your child well in d ways of christ, be sure he will make good decision.

Now my contribution. .... parental blessing is important but it depends on some factors.
1. Are their reasons genuine and palpable, if yes, pls don't go ahead, u will regret later.
2. Is their reason selfish, due to tribe, social class or otherwise, please go ahead...things will settle later.

There are no hard and fast rule. You will be in that marriage, not your parents. The ultimate choice is in your hands. On the judgement day, your parents will not be there to stand for you, its all man for himself.
There are failed marriages approved by both parents, there are failed marriages not approved by parents, there are successful marriages approved by parents and successful marriages not approved by parents. The biggest factor is the man and woman.
Goodluck

3 Likes

Re: What Do You Do When Your Parent Detest The One You Love by Tex42(m): 11:28am On Oct 15, 2014
abbeyoye2001:
Will just let go. Bible says "obey ur parent" they must have a genuine reason thoo
na lie! they are not always right bro, and the bible did not ask you to obey your parents even when itz obvious they are giving u a lift to hell.


hope u get ma point.

1 Like

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