That, at least, is the cliché. But according to Professor Darren Langdridge, a clinical therapist at the Open University, non-monogamous relationships are “suprirsingly common” and “the numbers are increasing”. The real question, however, is do they work?
Dwina Gibb, widow of the late Robin Gibb, the Bee Gees star, thinks so. He was famous for having an affair with his housekeeper that resulted in a child; she claims to have accepted it.

“People who are creative are often very different, I think, from conventional couples,” she said in an interview on Saturday. “Creative and artistic people live in a different way, maybe. There’s a certain kind of freedom I suppose we have. We always had that in our marriage but we knew we both deeply loved each other.”

Indeed, among the “creative and artistic” people in Hollywood, open relationships are pretty common. Demi Moore, for instance, reputedly had an open marriage with the American actor Ashton Kutcher from 2005 to 2013.

But things went sour when real life got in the way. When Kutcher took her at her word and had an affair with Brittney Jones, the marriage broke down rather rapidly.

Similarly, in an interview with the radio presenter Howard Stern, Robin Thicke intimated that his relationship with Paula Patton was an open one; but he refused to go into details “out of respect for her” (and as his twerking performance with Miley Cyrus suggested, he’s a respectful kind of chap). Predictably, the two have since broken up.

In fact, it’s hard to find celebrities in open relationships that do work. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, have both suggested in theory that they have open-style relationships – Jolie said that she and Pitt are not "chained together" – but this appears to be a philosophical rather than practical position, as neither couple seems to have acted on it.

The notable exception, perhaps, is Dolly Parton, whose five-decade-long marriage to Carl Thomas Dean is understood to have a tacit acceptance of infidelity at its heart.

“If we cheat, we don’t know it, so if we do cheat, it’s very good for both of us,” Parton said at a concert in Rotherham. “I don’t want to know it is he’s cheating on me. If I’m cheating on him, he wouldn’t want to know it. And if we do, if that’s what’s making it work, then that’s fine too.”
Either way, when Dwina Gibb’s interview is scrutinised more closely, her picture of the perfect open marriage starts to look more complicated. When her husband’s mistress fell pregnant – their daughter, Snow, was born in 2008 – she demanded that she leave the house immediately.
All of which appears to suggest that open relationships might be fine in theory, but tend to go sour pretty damn quick.

Even in Hollywood.

SirShymex:
I actually like the idea of an open marriage. And I believe it will help solve a lot of problems. However, the practicality will always be the problem due the emotions involved and, our subconscious ownership spirit, which might hinder the sharing.

SirShymex:
I actually like the idea of an open marriage. And I believe it will help solve a lot of problems. However, the practicality will always be the problem due the emotions involved and, our subconscious ownership spirit, which might hinder the sharing.

Billyonaire:
Its freedom if you ask me. More liberal and mature minds can thrive in it, but the jealous simpletons could be consumed by it.

ELLYsian:


Are you saying that you would be ok with your wife having extra marital affairs?

all4naija:
Yo playa!

SirShymex:


Honestly, I wouldn't mind since I lead my life never to trust people. And folks will always do whatever they want to do, either in the open, or in secret, regardless. So, why not give them a leeway to do it in the open, if they want to?

ELLYsian:

Well, I have absolutely nothing against it as long as it makes you and your partner happy.

What about possible STDs?

SirShymex:


Since you'll know whoever she's involved with, prevention against STIs would be much more easier than if she's sneaking around without your knowledge like most women do.

ELLYsian:


Well, I think that the best way to prevent STDs is to be faithful but I am aware of the fact that not everybody is monogamous. To each their own.

ELLYsian:


Would you be ok with your wife having extra marital affairs?

SirShymex:


Er, I guess you don't know most folks in marriages creep around, no?

So, rather than do it in secret - why not do it in the open?

Billyonaire:
I commit extra marital affairs.

SirShymex:
I actually like the idea of an open marriage. And I believe it will help solve a lot of problems. However, the practicality will always be the problem due the emotions involved and, our subconscious ownership spirit, which might hinder the sharing.

SirShymex:

Honestly, I wouldn't mind since I lead my life never to trust people. And folks will always do whatever they want to do, either in the open, or in secret, regardless. So, why not give them a leeway to do it in the open, if they want to?

ELLYsian:


Does your wife know?
And what if your wife wants to do the same?

Billyonaire:
How would she know when she lives in a different country ? If she does, I will never get to know, I visit Europe not everyday.

SirShymex:


Never a playa - but dem chics just love a nyggah since I was wearing diapers, I tell ya. But I'm a one-woman guy, with a tad bit of openness when it comes to relationships.

SirShymex:

Since you'll know whoever she's involved with, prevention against STIs would be much more easier than if she's sneaking around without your knowledge like most women do.

ELLYsian:


Ok but I thought open marriage means that you are open about your extra marital affairs.
Is it an agreement between you that you two can have extra marital affairs?
Have you talked about it or do you pretend that you are both faithful?
Excuse my curiosity, please.

Billyonaire:
I never made the assertion that I am in an open relationship, I only commented that it could thrive amongst mature minds, and could destroy the emotional simpletons, which I believe I am one of. I wish I can be mature enough to indulge in open relationships. I cheat, yes, but its classified.

EfemenaXY:

How many Nigerian first timers (I mean those married for the first time) engage in open marriages?

But that's beside the point. I think this is more about the man looking for an excuse to play around, than it being about them both or the woman.

Shymex, the bolded bit says a lot.

And if you don't trust your spouse, then why get married in the first place? Why not continue living life as a single person, rather than complicate it with marriage and trust issues?

Anyway, that's beside the point. If you really do love your partner, then somehow, I doubt the idea of you coming home from work to find her spread eagled on your matrimonial home with your best friend / boss / acquaintance sweating and humping madly on her is something that'll sit well with you.

I'm curious though: so while they're at it, will you quietly close the door and let them finish? Or would you casually stroll into the room, open your wardrobe and get a change of clothes? And then this friend of yours manages to tear his lips away from your wife and asks you to be a mate and go fetch him a cold beer from the refrigerator...will you do it?

Honest response please.

EfemenaXY:

You contradict yourself.

How can you say you're a one-woman guy, and yet claim to like the idea of open marriages?

How?

Would you physically put a condom on her partners?

ELLYsian:


I don't know if most people creep around.


Many people prefer to do it secretly because ...
... they don't want to be faithful but want their spouses to be faithful; they are not able to cope with jealousy.
... their spouses wouldn't agree to an open marriage.

SirShymex:


So, why be secretive about it, when you can do it in the open, and protect your partner both emotionally and from all kinds of diseases in the process? Dearth of realness in marriages/relationships!

SirShymex:


Honestly, I wouldn't mind since I lead my life never to trust people. And folks will always do whatever they want to do, either in the open, or in secret, regardless. So, why not give them a leeway to do it in the open, if they want to?

SirShymex:


Hence I think it might be the missing piece to the puzzle of infidelity. A far better option than polygny - stress free, without having commitments to the other external parties involved.

SirShymex:

Honestly, it's difficult for guys not creep around. I'm a guy (though not married) - and I've got loads of Uncles, Colleagues, and Cousins who are married. I know what they do and how difficult it's for them to control themselves. Especially, when you're still young, growing, and out there more often (below 40).

SirShymex:
Also, with women - there are tons of researches out there about women being more open to multiple se.xual parrners than men. And a lot of women creep around just like men do. However, the only difference is that: they're more secretive in their exploits due to how the societal bias against women, in this aspect. So, I believe it's just better to make it easy for both parties to enage in what comes naturally to them - than sitting there and lying to each other, like it's not norm in an unconventional way.

SirShymex:

Personally, trust is like the most expensive thing to me. Because I'm always loyal to a fault, when I trust folks - that's how my temperament is. And you can't do that with mere mortals whose imperfections are quintessentially what make them human. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. So, rather than deal with trust - I'd prefer openness and accountability. Basically, with that, you'd be acquainted with what the other party is doing. Thus, saving each other a lot of emotional stress in the process.

SirShymex:

Love? I honestly don't think I want to love any woman, apart from my sisters, mum, and nan. Loving someone I've no blood connection whatsoever with, is an emotion I don't ever want to deal with. And since I don't trust people, it's going to be difficult for me to love. I'd be loyal, and caring - but love will always be off the table. However, when kids get involved - fatherly love to my seeds will become a necessity.

SirShymex:
Also, with open marriages - the matrimonial home will be sacred - and no hanky panky would be allowed in there. The only exceptions are when the partners are involved (menage a trois a la party). Basically, seeing your partner in action with other people in your matrimonial home won't be a possibililty. Whatever you do has to be outside, far away from where you both rest your heads.

SirShymex:



Once you know what your partner is up to, then you'll obviously have to do normal routine checks before having unprotected sex together. And that's far better than folks who contract all kinds of STIs from their spouses because of how secretive they're with their exploits outside.