I haven't posted in a while because so many things were unfolded and i am yet to come to terms with that . The only update i can give for now is that the lady is leaving by month end. In fact, right now she is not in my house. She is with her sister and i am only waiting for month end so i can just pay her october salary and (depending on how i feel at that time),the money hubby is owing her...

To all those who asked after me, i am fine . Thanks for the love.... In due time, i might let you all in the full details

Godmystrength:
I haven't posted in a while because so many things were unfolded and i am yet to come to terms with that . The only update i can give for now is that the lady is leaving by month end. In fact, right now she is not in my house. She is with her sister and i am only waiting for month end so i can just pay her october salary and (depending on how i feel at that time),the money hubby is owing her...

To all those who asked after me, i am fine . Thanks for the love.... In due time, i might let you all in the full details

It is well, sweetie

Godmystrength:
I haven't posted in a while because so many things were unfolded and i am yet to come to terms with that . The only update i can give for now is that the lady is leaving by month end. In fact, right now she is not in my house. She is with her sister and i am only waiting for month end so i can just pay her october salary and (depending on how i feel at that time),the money hubby is owing her...
To all those who asked after me, i am fine . Thanks for the love.... In due time, i might let you all in the full details

Stay strong dear. I will call much later. It will get better

Godmystrength:
I haven't posted in a while because so many things were unfolded and i am yet to come to terms with that . The only update i can give for now is that the lady is leaving by month end. In fact, right now she is not in my house. She is with her sister and i am only waiting for month end so i can just pay her october salary and (depending on how i feel at that time),the money hubby is owing her...

To all those who asked after me, i am fine . Thanks for the love.... In due time, i might let you all in the full details

May God give you the strength to weather this storm, stay strong dear.

@godmystrength,

It is well. The Lord is truly your strength.

beeevan:



A lot of men are that way, they prefer to scurry to safety than tackle it head on. Just like Phema said, I have learnt to let stuffs that doesn't really count slide but when is time to talk, i don't mind doing the talking by myself, the ears and the results is all I need. If you start talking about every little thing, then marriage won't be fun at all.

Thanks mama boys. Noted.

breadplanets:
Thanks mama boys. Noted.

Godmystrength:
I haven't posted in a while because so many things were unfolded and i am yet to come to terms with that . The only update i can give for now is that the lady is leaving by month end. In fact, right now she is not in my house. She is with her sister and i am only waiting for month end so i can just pay her october salary and (depending on how i feel at that time),the money hubby is owing her...

To all those who asked after me, i am fine . Thanks for the love.... In due time, i might let you all in the full details

You will be fine dear. Do take all the time you need.

Hello house, pls I want to know if its possible get married and live happily without courtship ?. Ok here's d story, I have a bf of two yrs who is not yet ready for marriage(he told me so). Resently, a man is asking for my hand in marriage though he knows that I have a bf. Am still wondering how we will live in the same house if I eventually accept his proposal when I dnt even know his character. With the kind of stories I've read here, am so scared.

amakah61:
Hello house, pls I want to know if its possible get married and live happily without courtship ?. Ok here's d story, I have a bf of two yrs who is not yet ready for marriage(he told me so). Resently, a man is asking for my hand in marriage though he knows that I have a bf. Am still wondering how we will live in the same house if I eventually accept his proposal when I dnt even know his character. With the kind of stories I've read here, am so scared.

why r u so hellbent on wantin to get married? My dewr pls take it easy...get to knw dis man... Dnt just rush

Godmystrength:
I haven't posted in a while because so many things were unfolded and i am yet to come to terms with that . The only update i can give for now is that the lady is leaving by month end. In fact, right now she is not in my house. She is with her sister and i am only waiting for month end so i can just pay her october salary and (depending on how i feel at that time),the money hubby is owing her...

To all those who asked after me, i am fine . Thanks for the love.... In due time, i might let you all in the full details

It is well my sister,please take your time and stay strong.

May you find comfort.

amakah61:
Hello house, pls I want to know if its possible get married and live happily without courtship ?. Ok here's d story, I have a bf of two yrs who is not yet ready for marriage(he told me so). Resently, a man is asking for my hand in marriage though he knows that I have a bf. Am still wondering how we will live in the same house if I eventually accept his proposal when I dnt even know his character. With the kind of stories I've read here, am so scared.

My dear take it easy,we are talking of a lifetime commitment and not a race to the altar.

Why will you leave a man you have known for two years just because he is not ready now for a stranger?do you know if he will be ready next years?

If you are so desperate about marriage then get to know him first , date him however,you need to break up with your boyfriend.You can't be dating both.

Godmystrength:
I haven't posted in a while because so many things were unfolded and i am yet to come to terms with that . The only update i can give for now is that the lady is leaving by month end. In fact, right now she is not in my house. She is with her sister and i am only waiting for month end so i can just pay her october salary and (depending on how i feel at that time),the money hubby is owing her...

To all those who asked after me, i am fine . Thanks for the love.... In due time, i might let you all in the full details

All is well and the Lord will continue to strengthen and the give you the required wisdom to go through. And please don't let it affect your job oo.. May God bless and strengthen your marriage.

Best thread ever. I really have to commend all the men and women who have shared, posted and advised, this is the kind of stuff people pay a lot of money to get and we are here getting it free of charge. I really appreciate. I never really wanted to post but after reading every bit of the posts here (I still can’t believe I did) I mustered courage to post. This mind sound silly to most people but it’s actually an issue for me so here I go………… I once dated a guy on and off for 3 years. The reason for the on and off being that although he was a really nice and funny person, he exaggerated a lot and told many lies and made promises he couldn’t keep. Then I was home waiting for NYSC so I just continued dating him. He always had this dream of going abroad which at first was the reason I accepted to go out with him (he really dint give me any chance with his toasting) because I felt he was going to let me be finally when he travels iv actually had that experience once. Ok the traveling stuff was beginning to take time and being close to him now I was now wondering why he thought going to abroad to do drugs was the best option. He told me he was a graduate and had served too I then asked him to just get a job since he also told me he had some connections in some good places one could work. I tried and tried but it didn’t work till finally he traveled to one of our African countries by then I was done serving and moved back to stay with my mum. During these times, we still talked and all but he wasn’t the only guy I talked to on phone and though he promised and swore to come back and marry me it didn’t go down quite well with me. My Pastor likes him and always believed I was going to marry him but what I didn’t quite understand was if he knew what this guy was into and all but I kept praying cz I believe more in the prayer I say for myself. Soon after, I got married to my Husband. Sometime this year, this guy now called me on phone telling me that the only person that now understood him was my sister and he wants to get married to her when he comes by January, I asked him why he was telling me and he said he hasn’t told my sis. Later I called my sis and asked about the guy and she confirmed they’ve been talking and all, and he asked her to marry him. I was surprised at first but then I know she’s really naive so I didn’t say anything but the issue is I do not know how to advice my sis without sounding like a broken record. I told my husband and he said I need to let her know what she is getting into but how do I even know what she is getting into? For all I know he might have changed then again she might be making a mistake, How can I tell?

^^^ Tell her everything you know about him and leave her to make her own decision.

So a guy who is into drugs and has dipped into your pool wants to date and marry your sister

Is that the summary of it


[size=18pt]k[/size]

sueplumz:
Best thread ever. I really have to commend all the men and women who have shared, posted and advised, this is the kind of stuff people pay a lot of money to get and we are here getting it free of charge. I really appreciate. I never really wanted to post but after reading every bit of the posts here (I still can’t believe I did) I mustered courage to post. This mind sound silly to most people but it’s actually an issue for me so here I go………… I once dated a guy on and off for 3 years. The reason for the on and off being that although he was a really nice and funny person, he exaggerated a lot and told many lies and made promises he couldn’t keep. Then I was home waiting for NYSC so I just continued dating him. He always had this dream of going abroad which at first was the reason I accepted to go out with him (he really dint give me any chance with his toasting) because I felt he was going to let me be finally when he travels iv actually had that experience once. Ok the traveling stuff was beginning to take time and being close to him now I was now wondering why he thought going to abroad to do drugs was the best option. He told me he was a graduate and had served too I then asked him to just get a job since he also told me he had some connections in some good places one could work. I tried and tried but it didn’t work till finally he traveled to one of our African countries by then I was done serving and moved back to stay with my mum. During these times, we still talked and all but he wasn’t the only guy I talked to on phone and though he promised and swore to come back and marry me it didn’t go down quite well with me. My Pastor likes him and always believed I was going to marry him but what I didn’t quite understand was if he knew what this guy was into and all but I kept praying cz I believe more in the prayer I say for myself. Soon after, I got married to my Husband. Sometime this year, this guy now called me on phone telling me that the only person that now understood him was my sister and he wants to get married to her when he comes by January, I asked him why he was telling me and he said he hasn’t told my sis. Later I called my sis and asked about the guy and she confirmed they’ve been talking and all, and he asked her to marry him. I was surprised at first but then I know she’s really naive so I didn’t say anything but the issue is I do not know how to advice my sis without sounding like a broken record. I told my husband and he said I need to let her know what she is getting into but how do I even know what she is getting into? For all I know he might have changed then again she might be making a mistake, How can I tell?

Godmystrength, the lord will indeed give you strength to overcome this challenge.
@sueplumz, is she your younger sister ? I won't be surprised he is trying to prey on your sister's naivety. I'll suggest you tell your sister what you know and tell her he might have changed. Men like your ex disgust me, seriously have women finished on earth that he has to go for your sister. Plus he comes off as a lazy man, instead of him to look for a decent job with his connections, he decided to gothe shortcut way by considering doing drugs. I wouldn't want any of my sisters being with such a douchebag

rebella:
Godmystrength, the lord will indeed give you strength to overcome this challenge.
@sueplumz, is she your younger sister ? I won't be surprised he is trying to prey on your sister's naivety. I'll suggest you tell your sister what you know and tell her he might have changed. Men like your ex disgust me, seriously have women finished on earth that he has to go for your sister. Plus he comes off as a lazy man, instead of him to look for a decent job with his connections, he decided to gothe shortcut way by considering doing drugs. I wouldn't want any of my sisters being with such a douchebag

You can also reserve some part of this your disgust for the sister who wants to date her sisters ex

sueplumz:
Later I called my sis and asked about the guy and she confirmed they’ve been talking and all, and he asked her to marry him. I was surprised at first but then I know she’s really naive so I didn’t say anything but the issue is I do not know how to advice my sis without sounding like a broken record. I told my husband and he said I need to let her know what she is getting into but how do I even know what she is getting into? For all I know he might have changed then again she might be making a mistake, How can I tell?

^^^^ Are you sure he had/has connections or was only sweet talking the lady to accept his proposal?

Some decisions are not hard to take if we are really sincere with ourselves..

edwife:


My dear take it easy,we are talking of a lifetime commitment and not a race to the altar.

Why will you leave a man you have known for two years just because he is not ready now for a stranger?do you know if he will be ready next years?

If you are so desperate about marriage then get to know him first , date him however,you need to break up with your boyfriend.You can't be dating both.

Edwife, why is it that some men don't like courtship? When ever they set to marry a lady it's either they marry that lady immediately or they marry someone else next minute. I have had like three suitors that married someone else because they felt that I was unserious because I asked for time. Now my people are blaming me after seeing my last suitor in the church with his pregnant wife. They accused me of being too choosy.

Tag
aisha2
Chaircover
cococandy
snazzylove
beeevan
phema

pickabeau1:


You can also reserve some part of this your disgust for the sister who wants to date her sisters ex

its a 2 way thing, afterall I'm sure the guy was the one who made moves on the sister, not the other way around

rebella:
its a 2 way thing, afterall I'm sure the guy was the one who made moves on the sister, not the other way around

You never know.. you are assuming....

Ilovenigeria:

Edwife, why is it that some men don't like courtship? When ever they set to marry a lady it's either they marry that lady immediately or they marry someone else next minute. I have had like three suitors that married someone else because they felt that I was unserious because I asked for time. Now my people are blaming me after seeing my last suitor in the church with his pregnant wife. They accused me of being too choosy.

Tag
aisha2
Chaircover
cococandy
snazzylove
beeevan
phema

When men are ready to get married, they are ...leave all these people blaming you for being choosy when you are suffering in the marriage they'll still blame you for not courting and knowing the man properly. My take is that any man that really loves you and understands the seriousness of marriage will agree to get to know you well

rebella:

When men are ready to get married, they are ...leave all these people blaming you for being choosy when you are suffering in the marriage they'll still blame you for not courting and knowing the man properly. My take is that any man that really loves you and understands the seriousness of marriage will agree to get to know you well

Thank you.

Ilovenigeria:

Edwife, why is it that some men don't like courtship? When ever they set to marry a lady it's either they marry that lady immediately or they marry someone else next minute. I have had like three suitors that married someone else because they felt that I was unserious because I asked for time. Now my people are blaming me after seeing my last suitor in the church with his pregnant wife. They accused me of being too choosy.

None of the people you asked this question is a male to understand the innate desires of male...

Some men believe that once they see what they want, there's no need wasting time doing one long and irrelevant courtship.

However, its advisable for ladies to court at least three months to discuss important issues that may break or strengthen the union.

If the men coming are impatient to give you time for courtship, let them go, better ones will come. Do not let this push you into saying a yes to someone you don't know. Take a reasonable time in studying and understanding a potential future husband before starting the journey.

Secondly, some guys sometimes have studied a potential partner from afar for a long time. Asking questions around, studying her relationship with others and people below her etc. Once they get all the facts needed and are satisfied, they propose marriage without wasting time unknown to the girl that she had been under study for long.


Meanwhile, what do you mean by saying you do ask them to give you time?

The language is mostly interpreted by guys as a NO. Some lading ladies will tell you that they will think about it and they will keep thinking about it like the second coming of Christ. Who get time for that long wait. I usually advice my friends to forget such ladies because they don't know what they want.

If you have an iota of interest in any man, when you ask for time, at least give him a slight green light to be hopeful than the pretense most ladies act as if they are not interested at all. If the guy now look elsewhere, they start to cry in their closet.

So, Ilovenigeria, it is time to start loving yourself by redefining the meaning of "Give me time".

It is well with you

bellong:


None of the people you asked this question is a male to understand the innate desires of male...

Some men believe that once they see what they want, there's no need wasting time doing one long and irrelevant courtship.

However, its advisable for ladies to court at least three months to discuss important issues that may break or strengthen the union.

If the men coming are impatient to give you time for courtship, let them go, better ones will come. Do not let this push you into saying a yes to someone you don't know. Take a reasonable time in studying and understanding a potential future husband before starting the journey.

Secondly, some guys sometimes have studied a potential partner from afar for a long time. Asking questions around, studying her relationship with others and people below her etc. Once they get all the facts needed and are satisfied, they propose marriage without wasting time unknown to the girl that she had been under study for long.


Meanwhile, what do you mean by saying you do ask them to give you time?

The language is mostly interpreted by guys as a NO. Some lading ladies will tell you that they will think about it and they will keep thinking about it like the second coming of Christ. Who get time for that long wait. I usually advice my friends to forget such ladies because they don't know what they want.

If you have an iota of interest in any man, when you ask for time, at least give him a slight green light to be hopeful than the pretense most ladies act as if they are not interested at all. If the guy now look elsewhere, they start to cry in their closet.

So, Ilovenigeria, it is time to start loving yourself by redefining the meaning of "Give me time".

It is well with you

Thank you very much bellong, @giving me time means that time we get to know each other. For instance someone visited your parents on 23 December and wants to do introduction on 27th then traditional marriage on 6th January, all that is needed is for you to say yes.

Ilovenigeria:

Edwife, why is it that some men don't like courtship? When ever they set to marry a lady it's either they marry that lady immediately or they marry someone else next minute. I have had like three suitors that married someone else because they felt that I was unserious because I asked for time. Now my people are blaming me after seeing my last suitor in the church with his pregnant wife. They accused me of being too choosy.

Tag
aisha2
Chaircover
cococandy
snazzylove
beeevan
phema

My dear I see such men as bad market, to them marriage is a status to be acquired, so no need knowing you before delving. You don't need eternity to know someone, 6months is more than enough. No matter your preparation ,i doubt one can really be prepared enough to face marriage.


Why don't you suggest a short courtship, instead of asking for time? I don't understand the concept of instant marriage too. I believe you missed nothing , a pregnant wife is not synonymous with happiness. Marriage will come, enjoy what is left of your single hood because you will miss some aspects of it when it's gone .

Ilovenigeria:

Edwife, why is it that some men don't like courtship? When ever they set to marry a lady it's either they marry that lady immediately or they marry someone else next minute. I have had like three suitors that married someone else because they felt that I was unserious because I asked for time. Now my people are blaming me after seeing my last suitor in the church with his pregnant wife. They accused me of being too choosy.

Bellong has done a good job explaining as a man,but i have also come across men who married ladies they met once or in a short period of time,and are now singing another song altogether.

Men like that have only and only one thing in mind,is the Mrs attached to him and not really companionship.

I am an advocate of dating,its gives you a clear picture of the man/woman you want to embark on this lifetime journey with;My only problem is when the dating goes on for more than 3 years.

As for you,there is nothing wrong with you.You only want what is best for you,and do not rush into anything you are not comfortable with.

Ilovenigeria:

Thank you very much bellong, @giving me time means that time we get to know each other. For instance someone visited your parents on 23 December and wants to do introduction on 27th then traditional marriage on 6th January, all that is needed is for you to say yes.

My dear run far from instant marriage abeg, a man that isn't interested in checking compatibility with a potential spouse can't be worth much up there.

beeevan:




My dear I see such men as bad market, to them marriage is a status to be acquired, so no need knowing you before delving. You don't need eternity to know someone, 6months is more than enough. No matter your preparation ,i doubt one can really be prepared enough to face marriage.


Why don't you suggest a short courtship, instead of asking for time? I don't understand the concept of instant marriage too. I believe you missed nothing , a pregnant wife is not synonymous with happiness. Marriage will come, enjoy what is left of your single hood because you will miss some aspects of it when it's gone .

Thank you.

pickabeau1:
So a guy who is into drugs and has dipped into your pool wants to date and marry your sister

Is that the summary of it


[size=18pt]k[/size]

Be nice

beeevan:




My dear run far from instant marriage abeg, a man that isn't interested in checking compatibility with a potential spouse can't be worth much up there.

And this is what i see most during christmas back home.A guy living abroad or lagos will just see a damsel in december,next thing he wants to do introduction before leaving for his base.

How will the girl/guy show their true colors when you live separately and only communicate over the phone.

It is very sad.....the way marriage has been mishandled.