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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Adjusting To Life As A Widower (124653 Views)
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Man Bounces Back To Life After Three Days In Morgue (Photo) / Getting Married To A Widower / Adjusting To Parenthood (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by greatgod2012(f): 7:54am On Nov 02, 2014 |
To all others that are also bereaved, may God continue to comfort you. It's not easy i know, it's over a year that my brother lost his wife, the kids have been with me since then, but my brother still weep almost everyday, not easy to be consoled at all, even though the kids barely knows what is happening. Honestly, it's not easy, may God continue to comfort them. I don't want to question God, but i really don't know why this death issue is not only about old people, it's heart wrenching to see one's loved ones, still young with good and lovely dreams just vanish into the hand of death just like that. May God please forgive me for this, i'm just human afterall, thinking aloud. 2 Likes |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by kenny987(f): 6:25am On Nov 03, 2014 |
Hmmm! I'm at a loss for words, I'm even more marvelled at the faith and 'die-hard' trust in God depicted on this thread while going through harrowing experiences. May the Lord Himself strengthen u all who have lost beloved partners n parents. He has promised to be with us till the end of time, never said there'd be no fire bt that He'll be with us in that fire so that we're not consumed. I've learned great lessons here... God bless you all who mourn and are still mourning,, thanks for sharing your lives, experiences n pains. God bless your beautiful kids n comfort u all. I am encouraged, after having started reading this entire thread from 5'30am till now(1.36pm), and I know that God has plans for me... 9 Likes |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by serubawon(m): 1:51pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
kenny987: I can see by your story that you are passing through a painful experience. The Yoruba people have a saying "Only the person wearing the shoe, knows where it pinches". By experience, i have learned that when you share an experience, your audience shares your pain and lessens the burden on your heart. Sharing can also be a painful experience, but it is also the beginning of the healing process. I'm sure the thread would like to hear your story if you are willing to share. Take your time. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by serubawon(m): 7:46am On Nov 07, 2014 |
greatgod2012: That's just the way life is. The good with the bad. But just the way we thank God when good things happen, we should also be thankful when bad things happen......especially when we see no reason to be thankful. There's always a reason to thank God. Nobody wishes for bad things, but they will happen at one time or another. The story of Job is very encouraging to me. He lost EVERYTHING, but God restored him beyond what he had initially. It's difficult to understand or even accept, but in my opinion, it makes passing through tribulations a lot more bearable. |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by serubawon(m): 8:40pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
@RTFM, SubomiOluwa. Just checking in on you guys to see how you're doing. Holler back at us and let us know you're ok. ![]() |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Nobody: 3:10am On Apr 08, 2015 |
XXXXXXXXXX 1 Like |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by kieryn(f): 3:20pm On Jul 21, 2015 |
Updates please! |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by sello555: 2:48pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
@serubawon@RTFM@subomioluwa,hope u guys are good,bin a while. I trust God is at work. |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by serubawon(m): 1:10pm On Aug 16, 2015 |
sello555:. Yes, it's been quite a while. New job description at work; studying for exams and juggling family life has really taken up my time. Presently, I have my former in-laws and future in-laws in town for the summer and that alone is really driving me nuts. Updates are on their way as soon as I have time to make them. Things are good. Oloris daughter's recovery has been gradual, but there is still a long way to go. Having brain surgery means things are not the same as they used to be and she is going through therapy and rehab. We put things on hold because of that and want her to be more stable before we go ahead with our plans. Hope everyone is doing well. @RTFM & subomioluwa, drop by and let us know how things are with both of you. I'm sure people are concerned and want to know how you are faring. With God, Nothing Shall Be Impossible. ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Nobody: 1:15pm On Aug 16, 2015 |
serubawon: ![]() ![]() Oh my days Na you be dis Adjusts gele. Adjusts glasses 2 Likes |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Nobody: 1:18pm On Aug 16, 2015 |
I think I need a drink now. Serubawon I thought NL tsunami carry you go. Good to hear from you and the family. |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by sello555: 11:13am On Aug 17, 2015 |
serubawon:I am so happy to hear from you,All will continue to be well,regards to olori and d children. |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Nobody: 11:16pm On Aug 22, 2015 |
SubomiOluwa: Sorry bro! May God grant u d fortitude to bear d colossal loss. God knows best!!! 1 Like |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Setaje(f): 4:49pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
Wow. Had to read from the beginning to the end. ![]() ![]() |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by SubomiOluwa: 6:20pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
Hello Folks, They say the heart beats over 3 billion times in a lifetime. However, August 22nd last year in a heartbeat mine got beat out. My world collapse, the clock stopped ticking and everything stopped moving. In a beat my entire life was lost in the abyss of despair. How will I ever continue to live, how will I face the kids, what will I tell them when they ask of mummy, what will this say of my faith and of my God?!!! At some point I needed to let it out so I poured out my heart on this forum and you folks shared of my grief. Today, I can sing of God's faithfulness, of how He wrapped His arms around me and gave me peace beyond imagination. He sent people my way who touched me in special ways. Thank you everyone for being so special, for all your kind words and gesture. Truly someday when I walk through that Golden Gate, I shall find my "Angel" who touched me in an ever special way. Sleep on my love. I celebrate the life you lived. And the love we share. 13 Likes |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by jumzzy448: 6:39pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
M SubomiOluwa: So so sorry......may she continue to sleep in the bosom of the lord. 1 Like |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by CoCoLav(f): 10:01pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
SubomiOluwa: May God continue to console you. There is always light at the end of the tunnel 1 Like |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Mystiqme: 11:57am On Aug 24, 2015 |
CoCoLav: |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by joyAA(f): 9:44pm On Aug 27, 2015 |
So far, I've spent like 2 days reading this thread. Although I can't say I know why these things happen, I do know HE has already equipped us with the ability to overcome! We should always stay close to our source so our trials and travails will not be in vain. To mr RTFM, Mr Seru and Mr Subomi, I know the LORD is with you and will NEVER leave you. I've got some of my own challenges, but I know I'm an overcomer. To everyone who knows me, it looks like I'm just starting life...finished uni, got a place for internship, done with that and ready for service, got a fiance and people think everything is okay, Lord knows I'm struggling, thinking of the future and how it looks so bleak (nysc, job market), how I'm running low on finances, the drama in my relationship #sigh. But I know #all is well, God's got me. This thread has been so inspiring! I know we will overcome. Stay blessed 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by bellong: 11:14pm On Aug 27, 2015 |
JoyAA, What is the drama in your relationship? |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Nobody: 7:03am On Aug 28, 2015 |
@Mr subomi, so sorry for your loss. May the Good Lord console yu. ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by joyAA(f): 7:59am On Aug 28, 2015 |
@ bellong concerning my relationship, I might just be paranoid but sometimes he drives me up the wall being childish n all that, he also has his financial issues which I must tell you is putting a strain on our relationship, tho I believe it will soon pass. He is a strong christian, infact my spiritual life has grown so much since we met, but his faith can be scary sometimes, like putting all his money in a project right on payday and putting every other thing on hold, even feeding and transport to work, sure God provides, I've seen a client dash him 5k (naira) before, but most times he's so broke, I keep insisting its unwise to stretch himself that way but he'll just say I'm realistic and we balance each other out in that regard, but it was just recently I started noticing small changes. My main fear is if we get married, will he keep doing like this? What if he starts another project again and wait on things like the children's school fees , feeding and stuff? how will the children's school fees come? Will I now be solely responsible financially simply because I don't have "faith"? Or is it a straategy to avoid being financially responsible? My opinion is a wise person will at least keep some money to keep him going till the month ends, I love him but, it breaks my heart to see him live that way, always borrowing, a few times from me, to pay back na story, I'm not even comfortable reminding him he owes me money , he just has management issues, I've been talking to him, and I'm seeing improvement, tho I pray I don't become a nag, generally, I ignore things, but can't ignore something like this because I know it might affect us down the line. I intend to support my husband financially not provide for him! Then around his family I always feel odd or uneasy, and they aren't always so receptive to me, just regular or civil or whatever, an exception is his Dad tho! The man is always excited to have me around! God bless that man. So I avoid going to his place without him especially if his Dad is not there. Sometimes I wonder if he is the one, but then again I just look at o r think of him and just "know" it can't be any other person...its not just love, its a knowledge, dunno how but I just know. So yea that's what I mean by drama... Sorry for the long epistle |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by bellong: 10:10am On Aug 28, 2015 |
@JoyAA, He is not exercising faith but financial foolishness. He needs someone to coach him with his finances. |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Nobody: 1:23pm On Aug 28, 2015 |
With all i have read on this thread, i feel like sayin a big thank you to almighty God.. I thought i have seen, bt the stories here are so emotional... To every one wit a emotional and hrtbreakin story of a lost spouse or family pls take hrt.. God bless us all.... 3 Likes |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Nobody: 1:30pm On Aug 28, 2015 |
joyAA:maam, some people are like dt.. Not having a saving attitude, bt i have a problem wen itz d man who is suppose to be d head in everytin in d family. I tink u need to sit him down n have a hrt to hrt discussion cos i tell u, itz gonna be worse in marriage... |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by serubawon(m): 11:48am On Sep 17, 2015 |
salsera: My sister, for where? Na responsibilities and life in general o. Hope your family is fine. Thanks for the concern for your brother. @joyAA. Read your story and have a few questions. Does he factor you into the equation when he takes these decisions? Does he listen to your advice and finally......do you believe in him? If he's making these decisions unilaterally without any consideration for how it affects you as a person and his mate, then you have some serious thinking to do with yourself and some serious talking to do with him. No matter what financial decision I take, I run it by Olori because I'm not perfect and she offers perspectives that I sometimes overlook. Obviously, you think the world of him, but that doesn't ensure the survival of your relationship if both of you are not on the same page when it comes to making (not just financial decisions), but all decisions. Hope it works out. ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Fejok01(f): 2:00pm On Sep 17, 2015 |
@Subomioluwa, sorry about your loss. Just be strong for you and your children. The surest thing is Jesus. Thank God you have Him.I have bn there and I know how much it hurts. A lot of counsel on this forum helped me and I 'm stronger today. Accept my sympathy. |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by ayoolagoke(m): 5:33pm On Oct 15, 2015 |
I'm really blessed by this post... God bless you all. I lost my wife just last month, and I'm left with our 2months old daughter. It has really been tough I must say. To be a widower at 30 years old isn't a funny thing. |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by duduade: 7:24pm On Oct 15, 2015 |
ayoolagoke:Bro it is well. .. u have to be very strong for your daughter. .. God will be your strength. Amen 3 Likes |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by ayoolagoke(m): 8:47pm On Oct 15, 2015 |
duduade: Thanks so very much... |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by bellong: 9:51pm On Oct 15, 2015 |
ayoolagoke: May you always find help in the time of need. It is well with you. 1 Like |
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Swissheart(f): 11:00pm On Oct 15, 2015 |
ayoolagoke:....pls take heart.God knows why things happen and at the time it happens.Losing the most important person in one's life is what I personally can't describe but then the grace is always sufficient for us all.I have lived to see the only person I grew up to be comfortable with die....but then again I say...God's grace is sufficient for us.Sleep on T.Y 1 Like |
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