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Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Ilekokonit: 4:13am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Tips To Keeping A Good African Man - © Ilekokonit - 4 Nov 2014 · Recognise that not every westernised idea or norm is good for the longevity of an African relationship · Respect your man, respect his African values · Don’t rubbish African culture for the sake of feminism · Know or learn what being an African man is all about · Recognise that a woman living alone for a long concerted time reduces a woman’s compatibility with a proper African man · Don’t puncture his balloon just to get even or drag him down · Don’t be hateful, spiteful or seek revenge · Be forgiving, Don’t be mean and Don’t be wicked · Recognise that even Beyoncé who sang “independent woman” is still holding tight to her man, likewise the Queen of England and Margaret Thatcher before her death · Keep the parts of your body that are meant to be hidden, hidden and not on public display · Serve as a good role model to his children especially his daughter(s) · Don’t by your way of life / dressing set bad moral examples for his children especially his daughter(s) · Don’t stop him from bringing up his children with good old school African values · Never antagonize him in front of anyone especially his kids even behind his back · Recognize that a boy’s first and everlasting hero is his father and so, never belittle, curse, shout at or castigate him in front of his children especially his sons. Remember that in almost ALL cases, the boy will remind you in later years how you maltreated his dad when he was young and he couldn’t do anything about it · Recognise that a woman’s crown is her man · Be DRAMA FREE, Don’t be rude, saucy or stroppy · Don’t be selfish or self-centered · Don’t be addicted to TV, fashion, jewelries or your career !!! · Don’t keep up with the jones · Believe in for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health because he seriously does whatever the situation · Don’t be evil or fetish · You Don’t need a pastor or imam to tell you about the future of your relationship · Value his opinion above that of your pastor or imam or even your parents · Realise that 2 cannot work together unless they agree · Don’t compete with him financially or otherwise fully realizing that he is willing to share everything he has with you · Don’t have the erroneous belief that "his money is your money and your money is your money" · Don’t keep secrets from him · Don’t be crafty, evasive, deceitful or manipulative · Don’t try to manipulative him with anything (not even religion) · Don’t be combative, cantankerous · Don’t tear your own home apart with your very own hands like the woman who does just that with her own hands in Proverbs 14:1 and is described by the bible as foolish · Realise that a foolish woman keeps talking but a wise woman understands the power of her words as well as her silence · Realise that it is a FACT when Proverbs 21:9 says that It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house and as such keeps your home peaceful · Don’t be moody, unfriendly or stubborn to him · REALISE THAT PART OF WHAT PUTS A MAN OFF HIS WIFE FOR GOOD IS THE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS YOU USE WHEN QUARELLING WITH HIM · Realise the difference between slapping your man in a film and slapping your man in real life · Keep friends who are family orientated and want to last in their relationships with their other halves · Don’t threaten to harm yourself or drink bleach just to get his attention or win an argument · Faces issues head on without hiding behind non issues · Don’t deny him his conjugal rights · Want to grow old with him together, be in the relationship for the long haul · Don’t be crafty, evasive, cagey or secretive · Don’t have unnecessary male friends · allow him access to your phone if you are not hiding anything · Don’t be deceived by your being young or by your beautiful face, realise that the real beauty of a woman is in your character · Don’t believe that because you are beautiful then you cannot be corrected · Don’t lie to him · Don’t be a combative feminist · Don’t indulge in being married to an inanimate object · Don’t smoke and if you do drink, do so rarely, moderately and only on social occasions and Don’t form the habit of drinking alone (Even most men Don’t drink alone except for alcoholics) · Don’t do drugs · Value the old school family values that our parents held dear · Treat him like your mum treated your dad (hopefully, your mum treated your dad well) · Realise that no man wants to live with a combative quarrelsome woman · Don’t hide behind crocodile tears just to get your way · Don’t always have an answer for everything (nobody does) · Don’t talk at 1000 miles per hour just because you can · Think before you talk · Don’t monopolize the conversation. · Conversation is a 2 way thing. You talk, keep quiet, let him talk, and you listen, then ponder his response before forming your response · Don’t be over-ambitious or money motivated if you want to keep an African man · Don’t strive to keep up with the Jones, Don’t copy your friends especially their bad behaviors including haughtiness and pride towards your man · Don’t copy the way loud, foul-mouthed Nollywood actresses abuse men. Copying them is a recipe for quick divorce · Don’t feel superior to your man and never treat him with disdain or arrogance · Don’t be stingy to him if he is generous to you · Realise that him loving you is not a sign of weakness · Never try to give him orders · Make respect your watch word · Love a harmonious home · NEVER keep grudges, never bottles things up · openly discuss issues as they arise · NEVER discuss your marital issues with your parents, friends or any 3rd party · Be in the relationship for the long haul and Don’t be a serial man changer just because you think your beauty will last forever · NEVER EVER feel that there are many fish in the ocean (not all fish are good. Some are poisonous in the short or long run) · If you get a good man, do your best to keep him irrespective of what your “friends” say as ENOUGH African men are delaying marriage because of the aggression and wild ways of the potential suitors currently available · Realise that the phrase money is not everything did not just fall from the sky. There was a reason it was coined those many years ago · Realise that a lot of “proper” African men see educated African women as too combative and so tone down your “gra gra” when you are in his company · You may be a manager of teacher at work but drop those badges at the door before you enter the house as no African likes being lectured by his woman. You are his woman and not his lecturer. · If you meet a new guy who is honest enough to tell you he is currently unemployed, never assume that he is going to ask you for money as REAL African men never ask a woman for money nor collect such if offered · Never get used to living alone for too long lest you become so used to your freedom, space and singleness that sub-consciously you frustrate every new man you meet because your spirit wants to remain free · Realise that NOT everything that helps you climb the career ladder is helpful to your marriage. Some of them are destructive to African marriages · Never use sex as a weapon · Whenever your hubby chooses a late night hubby away from the home or chooses to go alone to the beer parlor repeatedly instead of staying with you at home and only comes back at around 2am or later on a consistent basis then he is trying to say to you that his love for you is dying a slow death and he can no longer bear your company as you are making his life miserable at home and/or you are no longer listening to him · Don’t neglect your man supposedly because of religious duties, realise that there is a time for everything and Don’t spend too many hours at church/mosque leaving your man lonely at home · Don’t hide behind religion or religious phrases just to control your man, Don’t choose to pontificate and sermonize him instead of discussing real issues with your non-religious hat on · Don’t adopt a holier than thou attitude with him · Don’t lecture him, Don’t sermonize when he is discussing something with you with his rational mind · Don’t form the bad habit of lying to him especially if he is truthful to you · NEVER put your career or business above your relationship !!! · Don’t feel your joint kids are your property or a meal ticket for you in the future and never use his kids as a weapon or bargaining ticket with him · NEVER turn his children against him · Be kind to him · Don’t practice NLP - neuro linguistic programming (or any other type of mind control techniques that Westernised women use to climb the career ladder) on him as most smart men know when they are being manipulated · Never use NLP techniques on him when discussing issues with him in a ploy to put him on the defensive so that you will win the argument · Don’t argue with him unnecessarily or argue with him just to tick your log book of arguments you have won with him · Don’t try to control him IN ANY WAY · Don’t give him orders · Don’t argue with him just for arguments sake · Don’t wind him up or stress him when there is no need for it · If you try to control him or play unnecessary mind games on him or try to control his mind in the first few weeks of meeting him, then chances are that that relationship will not last (that’s even if it starts in the first place) · Remember that unnecessarily or repeatedly stressing your man only quickens the end of that relationship · Realise that “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” is just a book that Steve Harvey made loads of money from. · A lady should always be a lady in her actions and in thoughts and “Acting Like a Lady and Thinking Like a Man” is not just difficult to maintain, it is deceptive, it portrays the woman as unnecessarily competitive and aggressive and is a sure fire way to a quick divorce or separation · Wishing you all the best as you search for that “Good” African man of which there are loads IF YOU KNOW HOW TO KEEP THEM INTERESTED FOR THE LONG HAUL 52 Likes 15 Shares |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 8:09am On Nov 04, 2014 |
This are tips to remaining single, and you can agree that the number of men remaining single even in their 40s in Africa is increasing at an alarming rate. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who makes it seem like loving them is a full time job. The only rule there is to love is, "treat others the way you would want to be treated in return" simple! Wishing you all the best as you search for that “Good” African man of which there are loads IF YOU KNOW HOW TO KEEP THEM INTERESTED FOR THE LONG HAULif u need someone else to keep u happy then u clearly have insecurity problems. Happiness and satisfaction are things that come from within, if u cannot find them in yourself best believe me you will not find them in someone else. 83 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 8:41am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Look at this list. Too many unrealistic expectations. More like fantasies of the typical african man living in the stone age forgetting the world is constantly changing everyday. Wake up!! You think real life is all about lists? woman wey go attempt all these ones go die off like chicken and surprisingly her typical african husband go marry woman wey no fit do 5 in this list. 48 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 8:47am On Nov 04, 2014 |
God forbid. Please limit this to yourself. African men are not inconsiderate spoilt babies needing 24 hours tending. African men are great husband, good providers and wonderful fathers. Go and look for real men and learn how to be a real african husband rather than spread your insecurities as standards for all 79 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 8:52am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Is that all? 30 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 8:56am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Sophyrocks:God bless you! 17 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 8:58am On Nov 04, 2014 |
aisha2: Hahahahahahahahha. The Op described the african man as a Baby with diapers whose sh1t must be cleaned 24/7. And yet he is the head of the home. Automatically, a woman should be a baby doll to keep this sort of man. When we say nairaland has a lot of funny creatures, they think we are just talking for nothing. Where is that guy that was doubting me in the African woman〓 suffering thread? 25 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 9:04am On Nov 04, 2014 |
The only difference between "Act like a woman and think like a man" and this post is that Steve Harvey made money out of his. You shouldn't have wasted your time critising Harvey, because you pretty much did the exact same thing by creating this, " Dos and don'ts " list ![]() 19 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Ilekokonit: 9:24am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Birds of the same feathers flock together. Keep allowing your inanimate object husband to keep deceiving you and giving you a semblance of being married. The truth is always bitter to people who are set in their ways. And yet the Oyinbo man you are copying his ways refuses to marry you and if they ever date you, they date the exceptionally attractive ones amongst you as a trophy babe and a lot of times for sexual curiosity and experimentation plus the additional bragging rights to their friends at the pub. Is it any wonder that there is an epidemic of ageing never married single feminist African women with grey hairs ALL OVER the globe but they are still so hard of hearing that they REPEATEDLY mismanage their relationships with African men with this their unrepentant stubbornness. How can you be the woman and at the same time want to be the man in a relationship ![]() ![]() Carry on and when menopause and the unavoidable effects of ageing sets in all round, your eye go clear. 25 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 9:33am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Mondisweets: Yes o. I just noticed that he criticised the 'Act like a lady, think like a man' book. Is he o.k? Any man who criticises that book has a huuuuuuuge inferiority complex and very low self esteem. He is angry that a fellow man broke the 'Bro' code and exposed their secrets on how best to handle them. Such men enjoy the emotional stress ladies go through because of them. That book helps women to be more emotionally intelligent as total dependence on emotions lead to poor choices and expensive mistakes that they would suffer from. It helps women remain focused on the most important things that matter other than just Love. Dnt know why a man would enjoy seeing women make poor choices. I guess it boosts his Ego. Is that not why we advise ladies to be more careful of decisions made based on just emotions? I run away from any man who criticises that book. Says a lot about his personality and how he treats women. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 9:38am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: Hahahahahahahahaaha. Look at how you are fantasizing, seriously wishing for unwishable simply to boost your dying self esteem. You think feminists aint married? Hahahahaa. Abeg wake up you have been sleeping!! Menopause this menopause that!! Abeg find something else to threaten us with jare!! Its getting stale and people no longer care. So you are a baby with diapers ehn and you are still head of thhe family? and you also need a baby doll ba? hahahhaha. what a joke!! 31 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Ilekokonit: 9:41am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Instead of taking stock and "pausing for thought" and listening to good advice, they prefer to spend all their waking hours petitioning God for a man and when one eventually shows up, they completely MISMANAGE the relationship themselves with their "I too know" foolishness. Their motor mouth running at 1000 miles per hour is their greatest undoing. Igbeyin nin ye o loku ada. Aro tan ba so fun, to ba gbo, ogbo tori tara e Bidi ba baje, to ni di nin da At least, you can always cry yourself to sleep and/or carry out your normal escape route but for how long will you carry on doing this ![]() ![]() 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 9:48am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: Why are you sooooo concerned about their praying to God for husbands? you think God doesnt answer prayers while you are here mocking them? what are you waiting for? can't you marry them? why are you drinking panadol over another man's headache? You should commend ladies for even depending on God for husbands becos its not by our efforts alone. you yourself be better husband? do you also deserve a good wife?? So e never reach to pray to God for a good partner? When last did you pray to GOD to give you a good wife? This list shows you are having a hard time getting a good wife. You think to get a good partner is easy? this your list will even chase a good wife away because it reeks of low self esteem and she will be sooooo scared to near you. The list is too mechanical and rigid. No fun, no understanding. Is this what u have in store for ur wife? any man who depends on a woman to feel good about himself has a lot of work to do on himself. So guy, go and look at that mirror near you and check yourself veeeeery welll. You have a huuuuuge problem. dnt carry this your problem give your poor wife oooooo. See List!! Haba!. you wan kill person daughter because say you get blockos? sofri sofri o. Life aint that serious oooo. I am soooo glad other men do not reason like you. 34 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Ilekokonit: 9:53am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Change before you get left on the stage at the end of the play !!!!! Keep sharpening your mouth to the point where no sane man will wan't to stay with you permanently. At least practice makes perfect. If you like take my words of advice / prophecy, if you like don't. Those who need the words will use them as appropriate. At least you are just an infinitesimal proportion of the women my advice was meant for. There are still millions of women that have access to the internet apart from the hot headed cantankerous few that will always show up any where you go. 14 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 9:59am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: Hahahaha. Is that a threat? So you wan threaten women because of what? are you gonna force people to agree with you? Abeg go and find better things to do and work on your self esteem. Its too low for our liking. Your type chases away good women. We love men who are real men not babies like you. Any small thing, you start crying so that we can pet you. is that a real man? No. so go and work on yourself. 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Ilekokonit: 10:02am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Let me even find out the type of women I am dealing with. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Ilekokonit: 10:50am On Nov 04, 2014 |
No wonder they jumped out from the woodwork with full force. They've got too many skeletons in their cupboards that makes them unmarketable to "discerning" African men. Just because you currently feel hip because you are jumping from one mans bed to another doesn't mean you are hot cake. It only means one think and you know what that is. No wonder they came at me with such venom. Surely by their fruits, you shall know them. Asiri ti tu ati ri furo ediye. He who comes to equity must come with clean hands. Instead of hiding your head in shame, you come and start showing yourself on a public forum. The level of shamelessness of some people !!! 28 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Ilekokonit: 10:55am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Wonders shall never end. How lewd and vulgar some women get on a public forum !!! Surely, it pays for a man to look before he leaps. 15 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Ilekokonit: 10:59am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Some women are beyond redemption !!! Awon sako jiya gbo gbo. Igbeyin nin ye oloku ada Too many deceitful and dodgy women lurking every where !!! 18 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by lilmax(m): 11:05am On Nov 04, 2014 |
@op don't waste your time with them..... They are yet to recover from being a woman, they don't like men......so they jump at any opportunity they get to bash men 17 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Ilekokonit: 11:09am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Imagine, with too many skeletons in their individual cupboards, they still can't keep a low profile !!! 7 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 11:19am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: How can someone spew this whole horse sh1t this early morning. Not only the time taken to write this, you also took the time to separate them in colors ![]() Unbelievable ![]() 48 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by 2CatWoman: 11:23am On Nov 04, 2014 |
I wish I'd never seem such contradictory rubbish, make I go lie down to stop my head from spinning. Please OP, ask your nurse for stronger medication. How can a sane person type using two different colours? 21 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by 2CatWoman: 11:24am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Chillisauce: You got there ahead of me ![]() 11 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Ilekokonit: 11:28am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Iru iro niborun. 2 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 11:39am On Nov 04, 2014 |
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Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Ilekokonit: 11:43am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Any single woman who remains stubborn will NEVER keep a man for long. Any married woman who is cantankerous to her man will lose him to a better behaved woman. Thats how nature intended it to be. The ones in the UK are hopeless anyway as England is the single parent capital of Europe and a lot of single women and single mothers in the UK don't need a permanent man anyway as they are addicted to their intimacy gadgets. Go and see them at the intimacy gadget shop near tottenham court road Tube station, you will think they just won the lottery. Some of them are more discreet and do mail order from theyknowwhere.co.uk. Shameless lot. Lets not even talk about the escorts a.k.a love peddlers disguising as good girls in London. Obirin so iwa nu, o loun o rile oko gbe. Awon alainitiju gbo gbo. 18 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by 2CatWoman: 11:48am On Nov 04, 2014 |
Ilekokonit: Why do you care what others are doing or are you just ranting cos you've been dumped? Pele o 26 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Ilekokonit: 11:50am On Nov 04, 2014 |
You are back to run your motor mouth abi ![]() Awon omo lasan ekeji aja. Who the cap fits, let them wear it. 12 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Ilekokonit: 11:55am On Nov 04, 2014 |
2CatWoman: Are you just foolish because your vibrator is giving you overconfidence to challenge any man ![]() Go and get a replacement at Tottenham Court Road. Shameless cow. Or, you think I don't know the secret of you UK girls ![]() Omo alai leko. 6 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 12:14pm On Nov 04, 2014 |
2CatWoman: Hahahahaha. He has been dumped times and times again. By their posts you shall know them. He is frustrated. Look at how many comments he has made. On top ordinary lists? hahahaha. what a joker!! Something in me tells me this guy is emotionally and physically abusive. 28 Likes |
Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 12:24pm On Nov 04, 2014 |
Chillisauce:The colours are for emphasis. Lol. Make the post 4 dey attractive to women. Hehehehe. U no see as e dey blow fire and brimestone since morning. This guy fit kill im wife or tell am to kneel down hands up and close eyes if she disobey. E be like say girls don show am pepper. 19 Likes 1 Share |
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