Gloria3389:

we are talking about money here... not other wahala... besides, money also take a larger percentage of relationship or marriage wahala
also, there is something called enuf in marriage ....

you are obviously broke

exthar87:
really,u better stop that, pray for an understanding husband and pray for humbleness..there are families where the woman is the breadwinner still u won't know

Which family is that,cos judging by the ones have come across,the husbands are living in hell.Women tend to dominate when they have an upper hand in anything.

kibi:
i just spoke with a friend of mine who has been having marital challenges and she says the hubby has given her a condition for their make up - submit your salary to me at the end of every month.
i really dont like being in the middle of marital squables cos i wouldnt want anyone in mine so i told her to pray and talk it out with her husband though it did get me thinking, whats the rationale behind that condition...for men in the house who do this please enlighten me cos i dont support it.

Your friend is responsible for her choice. She should submit it sharp sharp.

When you have options and you decide to go with an Id10t.

Why on earth will a man ever think such.

Hannibie:


Any man forcing his wife to submit her monthly salary just to teach her submission(or for whatever reason) is an insult to Masculinity. One of Man's major responsibilities is to provide and the woman is to submit. Never force your wife to submit to you because it would no longer be submission but oppression. God forbid the day my husband would stoop so low to ask for my salary, "na to go deliverance be that" because some witches must be behind it

Are this feminists on nairaland willing to submit?

majekdom2:
you judging that man ... the info is incomplete , they have marital issues . how are you sure the salary is not a reason . the man may be facing a hard time , no one can tell . I know how some women can be when they are the one providing for the family . it happens , the man may have been the breadwinner and perhaps something happen . don't be too quick in your conclusion untill the op can provide details on why they have issues.

no matter what the matter maybe...*ll the same I yaff hear

ayswags:
Which family is that,cos judging by the ones have come across,the husbands are living in hell.Women tend to dominate when they have a upper hand in anything.

well not all females love to dominate

majekdom2:
you should ask married women to advice you properly.

hmmmmm... I Never said there's no other wahala ooo... anyway.... your replies are sensible.... thanks

If there is a joint account where we both contribute ALL/PART of our salary and BOTH make decisions on how to spend it, then no problem. But if there is no such arrangement, and i now have to withdraw my salary from my account to give him to pay into his own account and he now decides how he wants to spend it, then i won't be a part of it....

On another note, i see where some people are saying that it is possible for the man to demand for such if the wife is a careless spender...... Okay. But can a woman also demand that her husband submit all his salary to him because he is a careless spender (there are also men like that and not only women are guilty of such) who squanders all his money on nonsense and end up borrowing money which the wife also gets to pay back part of the debt and also suffer for his actions?
Or is this just something only a man can demand for..
I am asking this to know if the man's decision is for the betterment of the family or just a way to prove some ish to the woman?

He's just using her, he knows she's desperate to stay married at any cost and will submit to any kind of abuse if she gives in to his demands the next one will be worse, did she get married to be abused or to share her life with a man she loves?

kibi:


he says its meant to show her submissiveness...thats the part that puzzles me.

Jeeez! Seriously, what is it with Nairaland and the term "submissiveness"?

So @bold is his reason for taking her entire salary? Do they have children?

ayswags:
Which family is that,cos judging by the ones have come across,the husbands are living in hell.Women tend to dominate when they have a upper hand in anything.

and that may be the problem the man may be facing.

Cutehector4u:
Hmmm... I wonder the kind of men mothers raise up these days

just exactly your kind...

Cutehector4u:
Hmmm... I wonder the kind of men mothers raise up these days

bad mother's raise bad men

carefreewannabe:
I want to know the reason why he demands such and then I will answer.

+

Me too

spankyflex:
coming from a lady;am disappointed

ok,i aff hear

slimmy05:
you are obviously broke

no sensible guy or a matured one will always find reason(s) to insult pple especially ladies.... I'm sure u lack something upstairs....
abi, for goodness sake what do u want from me....always attacking me for no reason.. be warned

its necessary ONLY if its to help the lady curb excessive and unnecessary spending - it could and should also go the other way round too. Sometimes when I need to save money and curb excesses, I give my salary less transport and lunch money to wifey till I accomplish a tenable project. Some women, (guys too atimes) I'm so sorry to say can never see a flashy thing pass by (shoes, bags, tops and gowns and accessories, makeup kits... the list is endless) without spending foolishly only to worry the husband later for things as little as cerelac or a carton of indomie despite earning a good income! I know of ladies who own shops only to meet their husbands at the end of the year to re-stock their shops and pay its rent. If such husbands demand for the salaries for proper accountability then it is justified. The economy abhors recklessness these days - my two cents respectfully though.

Funny things happen in our world. The husband should step up his game and be more responsible instead of hiding under the guise of submissiveness.

5minsmadness:


They are already married(?years),they have been having marital challenges, and the resolution is that the husband has demanded the wife submit her salary to him every month.

Obviously the marital challenges they were having would have to do with either pride on the woman's side or finances. Since he wasn't asking her for her salary when they first got married and he is asking now as a resolution to marriage issues it shows something significant has changed. More info is needed.


There is NOTHING wrong in submitting your ENTIRE salary to your husband if you know you married a good person. Such husbands usually ask because they have seen the woman is careless with money (a common thing among the ladies) esp when it comes in large amounts, or they do it out of tradition and always give a part of it back to the lady while saving the other part for the future.

Those screaming they can't give their salaries to their husbands are those who don't trust them in the first place or single ladies. If you don't trust your husband then who will you trust? If you don't trust your husband then why did you marry him?

I keep on wondering why you chose 5minsmadness as your username upon say you are filled with great wisdom and understanding.

Women why did you marry him if you can't trust him with your money.
If I were to demand my wife's entire salary I would ensure I provide adequately for her needs..

Who knows if the husband is even saving her from marital unfaithfulness because when a woman has excess money to spend, temptation creeps in followed by pride and rubbing of shoulders with her husband ensues.

Gloria3389:

no sensible guy or a matured one will always find reason(s) to insult pple especially ladies.... I'm sure u lack something upstairs....
abi, for goodness sake what do u want from me....always attacking me for no reason.. be warned

are you pained cos I actually defined who you are? What's your discipline that will take a strong man to get your pay?

tebirim:
I don't see anything wrong with that. It all boils down to understanding between them both. My mum always brought her salary home when my dad was alive. What my dad does is to give her pocket money then ask her to save the rest. My dad also brought his own home and would divide it according to our needs and want at that moment and save the rest for us all. It helped so much that not long my mum was counting in millions. As a woman and a wife, if you love your spouse, then there isn't anything wrong in it. Not only is the man the head, he will help you manage you finances. That's why i support joint account between spouse. It helps

Well said. Some people just talk as if all men are evil. If you love him and trust him enough to marry him then what is the big deal in giving him your salary?

slimmy05:
are you pained cos I actually defined who you are? What's your discipline that will take a strong man to get your pay?

lolzzzz.... now I know u are blind and senseless... defined who I am??... lolzzzz

Gloria3389:

lolzzzz.... now I know u are blind and senseless... defined who I am??... lolzzzz

dont be so dumb to skip the questions.

tell her to buy a gun and shoot him dead between the eyes

slimmy05:
dont be so dumb to skip the questions.

when u know how to speak well and use right words...

It could be the wife is too fat because of the salary and the husband wants to burn part of the fat. The picture below shows the best way of burning fat

What works for okeke might not work for okafor. For me, u wont see shishi under such conditions. The full story will nt be far from the wife earning more than the guy, the guy then develops inferior complex making him over react in certain issues. He then pegs every disagreement they have on dt d wife isnt submissive cos of money. If you are a man- be a man. Dont feel intimidated. Whether u are short, handicap , unemployed etc should make you less of a man.

A colleague in my office had d same issue. Their pastor preached it in the church that the woman shld submit every including salary. The husband saw it as opportunity and demanded dt she submit her money. They opened a joint acnt in another bank and he was sole signatory to the acnt. It was like jazz. She lost her phone and the husband did not replace it for her. She will beg for phone from other staff to call 'honey.'

Her family abandoned her cos anyone dt asks for anything, she wil tell the person ,'Go to the right source' and when they go to 'honey' its one story or the other.

The girl bought a car before the handover things, it was part of the things dt were handed over to the guy. The girl will fly okada to and fro work not minding she was heavily pregnant. 'honey' does not see the importance of bringing his pregnant wife to work.

To crown the story , each time my colleagues sees honey in his place of work ( 'honey is a business man) , they see him playing draft. This thing come dey vex everybody but no one could say it out . Then, one day, this babe came back from mkting and was feeling very weak. She needed to drink malt and was begging for who will buy malt for her. All hell broke loose. It was started by a guy dt hardly talks in the office. Ppl joined the guy and finished the babe . I dont think she would sleep that night cos they really shred
.
Fast forward,two years later, i dont know how she broke loose from her marital bondage. She bought another car and takes care of herself. She buys things herself, atleast ive seen her buy abacha for herself.

5minsmadness:


Well said. Some people just talk as if all men are evil. If you love him and trust him enough to marry him then what is the big deal in giving him your salary?

Some of this women marry because they want to be Mrs by force not really understanding what it entails

Gloria3389:

when u know how to speak well and use right words...

you are obviously broke. All these front desk officer who's role equals a cleaner

mercylicious:
What works for okeke might not work for okafor. For me, u wont see shishi under such conditions. The full story will nt be far from the wife earning more than the guy, the guy then develops inferior complex making him over react in certain issues. He then pegs every disagreement they have on dt d wife isnt submissive cos of money. If you are a man- be a man. Dont feel intimidated. Whether u are short, handicap , unemployed etc should make you less of a man.

A colleague in my office had d same issue. Their pastor preached it in the church that the woman shld submit every including salary. The husband saw it as opportunity and demanded dt she submit her money. They opened a joint acnt in another bank and he was sole signatory to the acnt. It was like jazz. She lost her phone and the husband did not replace it for her. She will beg for phone from other staff to call 'honey.'

Her family abandoned her cos anyone dt asks for anything, she wil tell the person ,'Go to the right source' and when they go to 'honey' its one story or the other.

The girl bought a car before the handover things, it was part of the things dt were handed over to the guy. The girl will fly okada to and fro work not minding she was heavily pregnant. 'honey' does not see the importance of bringing his pregnant wife to work.

To crown the story , each time my colleagues sees honey in his place of work ( 'honey is a business man) , they see him playing draft. This thing come dey vex everybody but no one could say it out . Then, one day, this babe came back from mkting and was feeling very weak. She needed to drink malt and was begging for who will buy malt for her. All hell broke loose. It was started by a guy dt hardly talks in the office. Ppl joined the guy and finished the babe . I dont think she would sleep that night cos they really shred
.
Fast forward,two years later, i dont know how she broke loose from her marital bondage. She bought another car and takes care of herself. She buys things herself, atleast ive seen her buy abacha for herself.

why make such a cheap conclusion that the lady earns more than the guy. Very dry joke there. You're stories are indeed a deranged one

Is she extremely bad with money?
Has he always been like that from the get go?

Obviously something must have triggered such reaction to the extent that he had made that as a sole condition for their reconciliation.
She needs to own up first before you can give a balanced advice.

jaybee3:
Is she extremely bad with money?
Has he always been like that from the get go?

Obviously something must have triggered such reaction to the extent that he had made that as a sole condition for their reconciliation.
She needs to own up first before you can give a balanced advice.

mature response