slimmy05:
you are obviously broke. All these front desk officer who's role equals a cleaner

u know what.... I don't engage in e-quarrel...and this will be my last reply to u...u can go to hell and bring all insults down here cos that's your area of discipline and you are really doing a good job...so take care

Story, submit fire.

He didn't even suggest joint account.

If she's a careless spender sef, is that how to talk to an adult, by giving conditions especially with money involved?

Money is one tricky aspect one has to be careful about when dealing with others.

Godmystrength:


On another note, i see where some people are saying that it is possible for the man to demand for such if the wife is a careless spender...... Okay. But can a woman also demand that her husband submit all his salary to him because he is a careless spender (there are also men like that and not only women are guilty of such) who squanders all his money on nonsense and end up borrowing money which the wife also gets to pay back part of the debt and also suffer for his actions?
Or is this just something only a man can demand for..
I am asking this to know if the man's decision is for the betterment of the family or just a way to prove some ish to the woman?

Its is socially unacceptable to hear that a man gives his salary to his wife. Having said that I know of a couple who the man does exactly that, reason being that she is more prudent in spending than he is. He has no saving habit and found out his wife does better at saving and planning family expenses. So he gives her his salary and she calculates the amount of money he needs for the month and gives him back while saving the rest.

Men are so quick to insist on old values that favour them eg submissiveness. But the one where a man is the provider, they turn a blind eye to.

A woman is to assist the man and I don't think a woman giving her entire salary is assistance. Of course she can pick up some bills around the house. But biko its unthinkable that she hands over the entire salary. Submissiveness ko, submissive ni.

Imagine working a whole month, slaving away, the stress, the traffic, the tantrums from difficult bosses and co-workers, and the only thing that's supposed to keep you sane is taken away.

My advise to the couple would be, If the man says she's not contributing, let them open a joint account( double signatory)and both contribute for the purpose of the house upkeep.

Gloria3389:

u know what.... I don't engage in e-quarrel...and this will be my last reply to u...u can go to hell and bring all insults down here cos that's your area of discipline and you are really doing a good job...so take care

I am not abusing you, I only defined you.

She should contribute her share, not the man forcing her to submit the money, she is not a kid, unless the man is also submitting his salary to her then she can do the same.

Gloria3389:

no sensible guy or a matured one will always find reason(s) to insult pple especially ladies.... I'm sure u lack something upstairs....
abi, for goodness sake what do u want from me....always attacking me for no reason.. be warned

He obviously likes you

5minsmadness:

He obviously likes you

lolz... Funny

Cutehector4u:
Hmmm... I wonder the kind of men mothers raise up these days

exceptions.my mom never raised me dat way.dat man mst definitely b a gold digger

5minsmadness:

He obviously likes you

huh?

Ezibless:
Why is nobody supporting the husband na?

First of all,lemme ask this question: What if she was a full time house wife?

The op said they were having marital challanges and the condition for make up is for her to SUBMIT her salary.

If she really wants to keep her marraige,she should submit it.
Cause after marraige,i think it's no longer HER salary but THEIR salary. (ladies dont strangle me o lolzzz)


Me,thinks she'd be doing the statement ''...wife submit to your husband...'' justice, if she does.

#my2cent!

it only natural nd sensible for lady dats working to support their husbands no matter hw rich d husband is,it only strengthen der nd bond bt to tell ur wife to submit all her salary is no no.if she does it of her own free will i still expect d husband to even say no

But seriously, how do people get a place where such things happen in their marriages? I mean who do they marry?

I can't imagine my husband giving me conditions and vice versa.

if that can save her home oya begin submit salary

freecocoa:


If she's a careless spender sef, is that how to talk to an adult, by giving conditions especially with money involved?

HELL YEAH!

Marriage is a partnership and if the co-captain's lack of financial discipline is impacting on the financial health of the union then the sensible one must take drastic action period.

At the end of the day the impact of financial failure is going to be felt by the two not just the culprit

What if she was using all the money on drugs or addicted to buying bags or what not

O.so there are house husbands to that depends on their wives and cannot work







Speaking of laziness redefined

Well for me, If I ask her to do it, she MUST. I am not really interested about her salary but we r in d marriage together.

Story: A man asked his wife to resign diplomatically when he got understand that she is not actually adding value financially to the home. The man works in d rig and financially buoyant to run the family. The woman works wt an oil firm and she is paid abt 300k monthly and still asks the man for funds to run d home, make her hair, buy her clothes and so on. The man wtout complain gives her whenever she ask. He is handling a house project dt still consumes more of his funds and yet, d woman is nt contributing. He diplomatically told her one day, pls I want u to resign and come back take care our kids. Argument set in and he told her, Marry d job and quit d marriage or quit d job and come back and take care of d children. he actually did nt tell her d reason.

Marriage is a project in which is totally normal for a working class wife to contribute financially to the running of the home.
I my little experience a lot of women despite contributing to the family saying it's a mans job, while they spend there money on jewelries and irrelevant things.
I have seen women who say they save there funds so they have what to fall back to in case the marriage breaks.
I think both husband and wife should submit a portion of there salaries for the running of the family.

5minsmadness:

Its is socially unacceptable to hear that a man gives his salary to his wife. Having said that I know of a couple who the man does exactly that, reason being that she is more prudent in spending than he is. He has no saving habit and found out his wife does better at saving and planning family expenses. So he gives her his salary and she calculates the amount of money he needs for the month and gives him back while saving the rest.

So even when the man na oninakuna, society has nothing to say about it or the society does not know that their are men like that.. anyway sha, na their family....
As per the rest of your response, that is how a good family should be... Let any of the spouse be responsibly for the areas where he/she specializes and not having some strict protocols that must be followed even if it is to the detriment of the family..

Sophyrocks:
So giving off all your salary to a man is a sign of submissiveness? Oh lawd!! I'm speechless. Nairaland never disappoints. The day women will start to know what they want will be the day they will be free. I am sure this lady in question isnt forced to do so. The very day she makes this mistake will be the begining of her sorrows in that marriage. This is how abuse starts.

Have you ever asked yourself the meaning of freedom, would you want your marriage to crash all because of what : money. Have you asked the reason for the measures taken by the husband, my women are unnecessarily edgy at times and they need iron hands. My mum is a perfect example of women who money turn their brain. She thinks the little money she has she can boss over my dad and guess what my dad the man that he is, took same measure and the end result.....

Kibi, happy birthday dear!

jaybee3:


HELL YEAH!

Marriage is a partnership and if the co-captain's lack of financial discipline is impacting on the financial health of the union then the sensible one must take drastic action period.

At the end of the day the impact of financial failure is going to be felt by the two not just the culprit

What if she was using all the money on drugs or addicted to buying bags or what not

It's a partnership alright that's why you don't force her into doing what she doesn't want, you forcefully take her money, she grows angry and resentful, your marriage suffers.

See eh, I'm not married but if the things I read here on NL are what happens in a marriage then I don't want to get married, thank God its not all like I see here sha.

Married people are adults and should behave that way, do things the way it would favor the both of you.

I mean how can you tell a grown woman "you must submit your salary to me before there'll be peace" c'mon jaybebe, that's not how a man should talk to his wife.

freecocoa:
It's a partnership alright that's why you don't force her into doing what she doesn't want, you forcefully take her money, she grows angry and resentful, your marriage suffers.

See eh, I'm not married but if the things I read here on NL are what happens in a marriage then I don't want to get married, thank God its not all like I see here sha.

Married people are adults and should behave that way, do things the way it would favor the both of you.

I mean how can you tell a grown woman "you must submit your salary to me before there'll be peace" c'mon jaybebe, that's not how a man should talk to his wife.

We don't know the full details so it's premature to start concluding what the man said was wrong.
Don't be quick to judge because some things aren't always clear cut.

Like i said in my earlier post, there are some extreme cases where such actions can be justified.

kibi:
i just spoke with a friend of mine who has been having marital challenges and she says the hubby has given her a condition for their make up - submit your salary to me at the end of every month.
i really dont like being in the middle of marital squables cos i wouldnt want anyone in mine so i told her to pray and talk it out with her husband though it did get me thinking, whats the rationale behind that condition...for men in the house who do this please enlighten me cos i dont support it.

There is no such thing as 'HER SALARY' except they are not truly married in LOVE. If U ask me I wud say the woman shud submit 70% of her salary without any Question. Ok
I DON'T BELIEVE D PERSON BELOW ME IS TRULY A MAN.

I believe this is Nollywood movie. But if at all its real, then the man should also submit his own salary, side income, secret income, previous incomes, future incomes, and post-future incomes to the wife too, so that while he manages the wife's salary, the wife will be managing his; crazy man!!!

Was he the one that trained her in school

Was he the one that got her the job

Anway, its a movie by the way

Lots of childish comments here. The man is the head of the house. If that is how he wants it, so be it. The day he married her, it would have been defined that her salary is not part of what he's marrying. If she was spending the money to the benefit of the family, I don't think the husband will be making such request. Some women are not qualified to live under the roof of a man. They should remain single and climb on top of themself and get pregnant if they want to reproduce.

haftob:
This one mess in someone's mouth put salt join, mayb the challenge she's having in her marriage is as a result of her salary dat's y the husband is demanding for it. Bur for God's sake, it's unhearable, how will u demand for ur wife's salary, o ga o

okamama pelu

jaybee3:

We don't know the full details so it's premature to start concluding what the man said was wrong.
Don't be quick to judge because some things aren't always clear cut.

Like i said in my earlier post, there are some extreme cases where such actions can be justified.

You are right, though I still wonder what a woman would that to warrant such.

All in all, we agree to disagree.

freecocoa:
It's a partnership alright that's why you don't force her into doing what she doesn't want, you forcefully take her money, she grows angry and resentful, your marriage suffers.

See eh, I'm not married but if the things I read here on NL are what happens in a marriage then I don't want to get married, thank God its not all like I see here sha.

Married people are adults and should behave that way, do things the way it would favor the both of you.

I mean how can you tell a grown woman "you must submit your salary to me before there'll be peace" c'mon jaybebe, that's not how a man should talk to his wife.

seriously my sister, some things one reads here about marriage just paint marriage as one EVIL affair filled with horrible things!!!

I still don't believe this fake story! Which sane man does that

Anyway, I don't blame men, I blame ladies who intentionally ignore sensible men and go for foolish men out of what I don't know, shameless man!!!

Raiders:
your friend is stingy lady. What is wrong with a woman helping out her husband with paying for the bills. I hate stingy women

another parasitic man has just spoken.for having this mindset,i sentence you to 5years in sambisa forest.

foxgiovani:
Lots of childish comments here. The man is the head of the house. If that is how he wants it, so be it. The day he married her, it would have been defined that her salary is not part of what he's marrying. If she was spending the money to the benefit of the family, I don't think the husband will be making such request. Some women are not qualified to live under the roof of a man. They should remain single and climb on top of themself and get pregnant if they want to reproduce.

I don't understand this part sir. Please be kind to explain. Thanks

Raiders:
The husband must have a good reason to ask his wife to submit her salary to him. I don't think its right for the wife to give 100% of her salary but its okay to give at least 50% depending on the couple financial situation.

what is this one saying.the man can talk to the woman on how he wants their finance to be,what goes for what.what manner of a man will tell his wife to submit her total salary to him.i am ashamed of such men.it is the height of insanity.

foxgiovani:
Lots of childish comments here. The man is the head of the house. If that is how he wants it, so be it. The day he married her, it would have been defined that her salary is not part of what he's marrying. If she was spending the money to the benefit of the family, I don't think the husband will be making such request. Some women are not qualified to live under the roof of a man. They should remain single and climb on top of themself and get pregnant if they want to reproduce.

if she's being irresponsible with her income, caution her! If she continues to sqaunder it, stop giving her money and let her use her own money to take care of herself. If that doesn't solve it, call her family's attention! If that one fails, then divorce her, simple!!

Making a mandate that your wife must submit her salary every month is insane! Except both of u makes it compulsory that u guys will be submitting your salaries to be deposited in a joint-account that requires u guys' individual signatures to withdraw money.