repogirl:
a man who cannot take care of his home is worse than an infidel! Depending on wife's salary, shioooorrrrrr!

A woman who cant support her husband financially is worse than an infidel! depending on husband's salary while wasting her salary on hair made from goat skin, make up and other dumb stuff while her husband struggle to get the bill pay.

dre11:

Maybe u need to know the reasons why the man asked her to submit her salary to him

Because the reason she gave is not sufficient enough for that man to have taken such a drastic decision.



Maybe the man sees that your friend is not prudent with her salary or she is leaving above her salary or he sees some hanky panky

What dirty reason can it be? If he wants wants her to share bills simply sit her down and tell her, pay so and so bill and I'll pay so and so bills, simple. Not that she submit her income to you. Nonsense. Monkey they work Baboon wan chop am!

authority2006:
And what happens if your salary is bigger than his? Or, you are going to do comparison of salaries before you agree to marry him?

lol... no.. I'm just praying and wishing

There is nothing wrong in dt d man is d head of d family although it shld be a fraction say abt 60 percent depending on d family overall income its part of submission to ur man . Again d man must b usin d money in d best interest of d family sha. One major reason a woman was created is to assist d man but most naija ladies r too selfish. They ll say his money is our money n my money is my money to do wateva pleases me dts selfish n unacceptable.

Every family/relationship is unique n wat works for one might nt work for d other

ronniediva:










To submit her salary for what?...And why would you say she's stingy when you know not why she was asked to? There's nothing wrong in helping the husband sort out some bills but this should be done willingly, and not all bills especially when the husband has the resources to fix it.

we are in 2014 not 1014. Nigerian women needs to change their mentality like women in other part of the world . what is wrong for a woman to submit her salary to husband so that they can pay their house bills and plan their future together. Any woman that is not willing to share her salary with her husband has no business getting married and should stay single so she can spend her salary for herself only.

tlops:


What dirty reason can it be? If he wants wants her to share bills simply sit her down and tell her, pay so and so bill and I'll pay so and so bills, simple. Not that she submit her income to you. Nonsense. Monkey they work Baboon wan chop am!

I don't think the husband mean that the wife should submit 100% her salary to him. The husband must have a good reason to ask his wife to submit her salary. No husband in his right mind will ask his wife for 100% of her salary because he knows the wife has to pay transport to work and also take care of her personal needs. I think the husband feels the wife needs to do more to support the household financially. Some women feel that its the responsibility of the man to take care of the all the bills while they save their salary for themselves. The housebill should be split between the couple and the highest earner in the marriage should pay more of the bills.

bukatyne:


LOL! @ socially unacceptable

What will I not hear on NL!

Single ladies, use the courtship period very wisely! It is not the time to eat sharwama or drink gulder; it is not the time to mark register in all eateries and joints. It is not the time to show your se.x ua.l prowness either

Study your man! Study your man!! Study your man!!!

90% of all these behaviours are evident before marriage; marriage does not transform people overnight to either good or bad. They only exhibit what has been inside of them.

Look well and well before saying I do; Any comment you do not like or you are not comfortable with made in passing must be treated; watch out how he handles issues of others especially marriage/relationship issues.

You cannot force a man to love you; if he does not, you cannot wash, cook or f.uk your way into his heart. You might force/manipulate him to marry you but after the wedding, he will show you sege!


Also pray and pray to whatever you believe in.

It is very terrible when a lady misses it in marriage. Even if she divorces/separates from the man, she will still feel the pain for a while.

Good advice.


I repeat IT IS SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE FOR A MAN TO GIVE HIS WHOLE SALARY TO HIS WIFE. Society will think you used juju on him or he is a wimp and cannot manage his own home. A good wife will always want to portray her Husband in a good light if not the disgrace and snide remarks from outsiders will ruin the marriage before it gets started.


Those who don't like my comment can now go and naaked themselves and hug transformer.

.....

Godmystrength:
So even when the man na oninakuna, society has nothing to say about it or the society does not know that their are men like that.. anyway sha, na their family....
As per the rest of your response, that is how a good family should be... Let any of the spouse be responsibly for the areas where he/she specializes and not having some strict protocols that must be followed even if it is to the detriment of the family..

Thank you for understanding my post. The political correctness on this site can be damn sickening. The man gave the salary to his wife to keep for him but I'm sure he only let us know because we are his close pals. If he announced it in public that his wife collects his salary he would probably get sneered at and insulted behind his back. That's just the way it is.

If he can handle it, why not? ...and also manage it right and correctly.

And if it makes him happy, why shouldn't she? Especially if it makes him happy and bring about peace.

It's a sign of true love, trust and understanding.

Not all men can be entrusted with such magnitude of responsibility and not all men are confident or strong to accept such. ...ladies who are lucky to have such sincere men are lucky.

Similarly, women who have men they can repose such responsibilities on with confidence without fear or prejudice, should be commended. Such men are equally lucky men.

gazilion:


I hate lies! I stopped reading your story when I saw the bolded above! It is not a joint account if there is only one signatory!!

And thats how they keep making up bogus sob stories to buttress their twisted way of thinking

DailyNews:
I believe this is Nollywood movie. But if at all its real, then the man should also submit his own salary, side income, secret income, previous incomes, future incomes, and post-future incomes to the wife too, so that while he manages the wife's salary , the wife will be managing his; crazy man!!!

Was he the one that trained her in school

Was he the one that got her the job

Anway, its a movie by the way

This post got me reeling with laughter
It just made my day!
Chai! Nairaland

bukatyne:


LOL! @ socially unacceptable

What will I not hear on NL!

Single ladies, use the courtship period very wisely! It is not the time to eat sharwama or drink gulder; it is not the time to mark register in all eateries and joints. It is not the time to show your se.x ua.l prowness either

Study your man! Study your man!! Study your man!!!

90% of all these behaviours are evident before marriage; marriage does not transform people overnight to either good or bad. They only exhibit what has been inside of them.

Look well and well before saying I do; Any comment you do not like or you are not comfortable with made in passing must be treated; watch out how he handles issues of others especially marriage/relationship issues.

You cannot force a man to love you; if he does not, you cannot wash, cook or f.uk your way into his heart. You might force/manipulate him to marry you but after the wedding, he will show you sege!


Also pray and pray to whatever you believe in.

It is very terrible when a lady misses it in marriage. Even if she divorces/separates from the man, she will still feel the pain for a while.

Which one be prowness? You must not see as long as ur eyes are at his money while keeping yours.

freecocoa:
Jaybee let me ask you something, if the reverse were to be the case, can the woman demand such?

You don't know what the woman did. Whether she finished the guy's money on sth or got impregnated by sb else. Since the alternative is to leave the marriage... na the guy dey accommodating pass.

5minsmadness:

And thats how they keep making up bogus sob stories to buttress their twisted way of thinking

I tire...joint account one signatory... na wa women and lies.

[q

.

majekdom2:
you judging that man ... the info is incomplete , they have marital issues . how are you sure the salary is not a reason . the man may be facing a hard time , no one can tell . I know how some women can be when they are the one providing for the family . it happens , the man may have been the breadwinner and perhaps something happen . don't be too quick in your conclusion untill the op can provide details on why they have issues.

I think the man is not communicating well. There is a way to say something good in a bad way and vice versa. these days it is quite challenging for families to survive on one source of income. Wives are highly encouraged to contribute to household expenses. But "I" think it is wrong to demand another person's "total" income with threat! its like arm robbery.

ferdimako:

I tire...joint account one signatory... na wa women and lies.

I have a joint account and the option I was given was either one of the parties should sign or both sign at the same time. There was NEVER an option for only one person to have access to the account. What then is it a joint account for? Why can't she simply pay money into his private account each month instead?

Liessssssssss!

.

lANDEX:
So she has to go to him if she wnts to buy anytin?? Dats why it is gud to marry Sumone u understand....

d man did not threaten to cease her salary and then spend it for her.... Lets get this thing straight, d man only said bring ur salary and i will bring mine then we sit down together as couple and plan with it. This is very okay.. Even God would approve of this.
Its unwise for people in nairaland to picture men as evil and enslaving thier wives cos they ask for her financial involvement in building a home for both of them..
My humble OP

Chillisauce:


You dont support it. What enlightenment do you need again ?

Enlightenment of the oppressive society and how some women can't use their God given brains .
Submit ko, mitsub ni

hehehe. Chai!

Chillisauce:


You dont support it. What enlightenment do you need again ?

Enlightenment of the oppressive society and how some women can't use their God given brains .
Submit ko, mitsub ni

hehehe. Chai!

i wonder what our society is fast becoming, though i cannot judge their case based on one side story.but the truth is this:no matter what a woman earns,it is the duty of the man to provide for his wife, children and extend family especially in this Africa setting.The reason why a woman expect you to change baby diapers and many other feminine chores even while she is free, is because she helps in playing part of your role.
For God sake, if a man is having financial challenges, you reason with your wife,make her understand the situation.They have conscience.No woman will like to see her family in a mess even jezebel never did.Your wife is your wife, Her money is her money,unless the two parties agree to make it their money.If you know you cannot cater for your family,then please remain a bachelor to save the future from pains.

i trust myself and i trust my husband!he no fit tel me dt kain tin.biko,i be kid abi na love b dt one?lailai!spend ur money make i spend my own as long as we both dont neglect our duties.ow i spend my money does not concern him.na me work!

tlops:


What dirty reason can it be? If he wants wants her to share bills simply sit her down and tell her, pay so and so bill and I'll pay so and so bills, simple. Not that she submit her income to you. Nonsense. Monkey they work Baboon wan chop am!

And have u heard the whole reasons to jump into conclusions
*And who tells u the man want to spend her money
*Who tells u that the man might want to imbibe so form of saving culture in the said woman
*who tell u the man wants to share the bills with her just because she asked her to submit her wage
*who tells u that was the cause of their fight



What works for A might not work for B
It's their family........ Let them solve their issue themselves

Afterall the OP haven't revealed the whole truth

Cee9:
i wonder what our society is fast becoming, though i cannot judge their case based on one side story.but the truth is this:no matter what a woman earns,it is the duty of the man to provide for his wife, children and extend family especially in this Africa setting.The reason why a woman expect you to change baby diapers and many other feminine chores even while she is free, is because she helps in playing part of your role.
For God sake, if a man is having financial challenges, you reason with your wife,make her understand the situation.They have conscience.No woman will like to see her family in a mess even jezebel never did.Your wife is your wife, Her money is her money,unless the two parties agree to make it their money.If you know you cannot cater for your family,then please remain a bachelor to save the future from pains.

If it is so, so many ladies won't be married oh. I know plenty of guys women talked into this with a promise they will support him. I know pple that got married by their parents. So all a sudden they become dangote.

All these warriors are not like this in real life. Nobody wants to be the odd one here.

MissMeiya:


My mother hammered the same advice to me. Ever since I was a young girl. Shine your motha effin eye.

My dear, listen to it.

If a woman marries the man God designed for her, she will see heaven on earth and all the enjoyment she thinks she had during courtship will pale to what she will experience in marriage

If she allows one spre spre speaking rofo deceive her, na she sabi.

A man can force his wife to submit more than the other way round. If this OP came to me and I told her not to 'submit' her salary, I will be the same person to follow her to beg if her husband throws her out.

If a husband doesnot love his wife, no police go catch am o!

Raiders:
according to the op, she said her friend husband ask to submit her salary at the end of the month which probably means she is not helping with the bills. No man would ask his wife to submit her salary if she is contributing to the house bills

Chai that's a weird rationale am glad you are not a detective or a judge we'd all be screwed

Cee9:
i wonder what our society is fast becoming, though i cannot judge their case based on one side story.but the truth is this:no matter what a woman earns,it is the duty of the man to provide for his wife, children and extend family especially in this Africa setting.The reason why a woman expect you to change baby diapers and many other feminine chores even while she is free, is because she helps in playing part of your role.
For God sake, if a man is having financial challenges, you reason with your wife,make her understand the situation.They have conscience.No woman will like to see her family in a mess even jezebel never did.Your wife is your wife, Her money is her money,unless the two parties agree to make it their money.If you know you cannot cater for your family,then please remain a bachelor to save the future from pains.

I feel really sad for your comment because you are a man that reason like a female. Our generation is different from that of our grandparents where the man work and the wife stay at home to raise the kids. The economy situation in Nigeria is different from that of our parents and it now require both couple to work so as to keep the family financial situation good. More women attend school and get good jobs unlike in the past. In a modern African home, it is now require both the spouse to help pay the family bills. Its no longer the sole responsibility of the husband to pay all the family bills. No man wants to marry a wife that will spend all day watching dstv. Women should also work and help with the home finances too. The days of our grandparents is over and we are in a mordern society.

voltron:


It is extremely difficult to look before you leap in Marriage simply because both couples are courting in a "Conditioned" environment where things happen the way they are "meant" to happen.. Happily Ever After.. I often encourage couples planning for marriage to move in with each other and have seex before marriage. live life like a real couple for at least 1 year and then decide if you want to go the whole hog. 10 years later.. we are still strong even with all the revelations that I was not really a quiet nice romantic guy .

I don't believe they have to cohabit or have s.ex before they know each other. With openness, prayers and them watching like a hawk (especially the lady), they are good to go. There is no room for secondguessing; you don't like what you see or hear, tackle it. No I think he means bla bla.

Nobody is a mind reader

ferdimako:

Which one be prowness? You must not see as long as ur eyes are at his money while keeping yours.

Excuse me?

5minsmadness:

Good advice.


I repeat IT IS SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE FOR A MAN TO GIVE HIS WHOLE SALARY TO HIS WIFE. Society will think you used juju on him or he is a wimp and cannot manage his own home. A good wife will always want to portray her Hus and in a good light if not the disgrace and snide remarks from outsiders will ruin the marriage before it gets started.


Those who don't like my comment can now go and naaked themselves and hug transformer.

It is 'socially unacceptable' for either party to give their whole salary to the other. Since couples now table all their affairs at the corporation of social acceptability.