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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / One Poem For The Road (13307 Views)
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Re: One Poem For The Road by noble4d(m): 9:52pm On Nov 02, 2014 |
Visit the below link to learn types, styles, and forms of poetry... https://www.nairaland.com/1958923/beauty-poetry |
Re: One Poem For The Road by firestar(f): 4:42am On Nov 03, 2014 |
noble4d:I'm open to new ideas. |
Re: One Poem For The Road by noble4d(m): 9:04am On Nov 03, 2014 |
firestar: Alryt dear, i will be introducing a new type of poetry today, just follow the link above. There are two specific types and forms of poetry that will fit in with your style. Noble cares 1 Like |
Re: One Poem For The Road by OMA4U(m): 7:57pm On Nov 03, 2014 |
If my wriggled wily way rig the rigmarole reeling road on ballot paper trooping day Snail, shell; cadaver, earth an un-renege rocky oath between body and soul, birth You shall be the drumming breath breathe into my succumb nostrils and dancing to your rhythm is my debt I, the puppet piper play. On a par with your dictating masked tune of you, the idol and I, worshipper A castle beckons on the outskirt of island and dollars dwell with western made possessions where you live to milk the blessed land Your quiet face, godfather, will rule the populace I shall bear no liver to erode or dare say no to your heavy tongue. All the days Of all my regimes. And I stand, power intoxicated. Rig me in now! And when I grabbed mantle, I shall erect a selfless jerichoed tower suggest a suitable title, please. 1 Like |
Re: One Poem For The Road by princesa(f): 10:20pm On Nov 03, 2014 |
OMA4U:The godfather? |
Re: One Poem For The Road by Nobody: 6:23am On Nov 04, 2014 |
noble4d:who is mentioning my name |
Re: One Poem For The Road by AmiableJay(m): 4:42pm On Nov 04, 2014 |
TAKE NOT! “Take not the flute from Unoka Thou black minion from Gehenna” ~ Take not tranquil from Midgard Or tavern from the drunkard The curfews, called in thy honour Curb strumpets off their candour Hurls the brothel from the temptress, Acheron’s pit from Heccat, heists Thou art a black salvage that serve age Through cryptic messages that mess sages Then do you now thy carnage? But fools call rage thy courage To take cosmos from mortals Defile fate and halts its stars Before eyes behold their maiden twinkles Flee Death! nemesis triumphs like wrinkles. ~ Tags: Timpaker, deflover, Firestar, Oma4u, Divepen, texanomaly, Tovot, badmusace |
Re: One Poem For The Road by Nobody: 5:19pm On Nov 04, 2014 |
AmiableJay:Nice write up |
Re: One Poem For The Road by AmiableJay(m): 5:29pm On Nov 04, 2014 |
Divepen:Thanks bruh. |
Re: One Poem For The Road by timpaker(m): 5:35pm On Nov 04, 2014 |
Nice sonnet bro. I wish I could write something like this. I consider sonnet a bit difficult to write though 1 Like |
Re: One Poem For The Road by Tovot: 5:52pm On Nov 04, 2014 |
Lovely , like the pattern , nice poem. AmiableJay: |
Re: One Poem For The Road by AmiableJay(m): 7:24pm On Nov 04, 2014 |
Tovot:. Thanks! I really appreciate... |
Re: One Poem For The Road by noble4d(m): 11:33pm On Nov 04, 2014 |
terza: Who else, its noble |
Re: One Poem For The Road by noble4d(m): 11:37pm On Nov 04, 2014 |
AmiableJay: Can I comment on this? |
Re: One Poem For The Road by AmiableJay(m): 6:14am On Nov 05, 2014 |
noble4d:Yes please do. |
Re: One Poem For The Road by noble4d(m): 10:11am On Nov 05, 2014 |
AmiableJay: I don't know how you'll feel, but what you wrote is definitely not a sonnet. May be you are trying to write a quatern composed of 4 quatrains with 8 syllables per line and also has a refrain in different place in each quatrain. If the lines in quotations is not among the poem then its a sonnet...and looking at it with a noble eye, you disobeyed the law(s) in sonnet...The English sonnets has 10 syllables, Italian sonnets has 10 or 11 syllables, French sonnet has 12 syllables per line, and all with different rhyming pattern. I like the fact that you mixed modern and archaic words to portray your message...re-edit your work...thumbs up. noble cares. |
Re: One Poem For The Road by AmiableJay(m): 11:12am On Nov 05, 2014 |
noble4d:I really appreciate your constructive criticism. I won't get into the defense to hide the flaws in the poem but the truth is that I'm well aware of all the rules of versification but I deliberately disobeyed them. When I first wrote it I had a normal free verse poem in mind but due to the cuttings and editing I decided to introduce a sonnet within my own convenience. I'll try to transform it into a conventional sonnet though. |
Re: One Poem For The Road by AmiableJay(m): 11:18am On Nov 05, 2014 |
timpaker:It's very easy bro.. I do mine by writing a large piece and then doing a strong cutting. |
Re: One Poem For The Road by noble4d(m): 11:34am On Nov 05, 2014 |
AmiableJay: You don't have to disobey the law in the name of creativity, you can be sue for that . Sonnet is composed with beautiful form and structure which gives us freedom of words to portray our thoughts and ideas. You can handle words as if you are playing a draft. "Ye poetry doth not snore". Follow the link in my signature to learn more about types and forms of poetry. noble cares. |
Re: One Poem For The Road by timpaker(m): 11:45am On Nov 05, 2014 |
noble4d: You're quite right bro. I didn't check the word count before terming it a 'sonnet', I only just checked the Shakespearian style he used and the iambic pentameters. (my bad ) The word count is what I hate most about it (sonnet). But contemporary poets tend to flow with the rhyming i.e. ababcdcdefefgg; ababbcbccdcdee or 8 lines of abbaabba/octave and 6 sestet of cdcdcd (I think) scheme while ignoring the syllabic count which are mutually exclusive to separate genres of the sonnet. I hope you understand moi? |
Re: One Poem For The Road by noble4d(m): 11:48am On Nov 05, 2014 |
timpaker: Yah ryt that's y I love sonnets and refrains I love the Shakespearean sonnet too because of its structure...three quatrains with a rhyming couplet for the last two lines. |
Re: One Poem For The Road by timpaker(m): 11:53am On Nov 05, 2014 |
AmiableJay: The structure of the poem is what I dislike... I prefer other forms and shy away from the sonnet. noble4d:You dey try oooo |
Re: One Poem For The Road by noble4d(m): 11:56am On Nov 05, 2014 |
timpaker: yah sonnet is beautiful. most of my written poems are sonnets, and any poems with refrains e.g kyrielle and quatern. |
Re: One Poem For The Road by timpaker(m): 12:11pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
noble4d: mirrored and trijan refrain? Yeah I love refrains too eg. Terzanelle and Villanelle (even though they can be quite tasking at times) my fav.s are narrative e.g epic, cowboy, ABC, octavarima, terza/rima and other short forms, and that's cuz these forms takes time to write. |
Re: One Poem For The Road by noble4d(m): 12:17pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
timpaker: Do you write ballad? Its cool too. |
Re: One Poem For The Road by timpaker(m): 12:20pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
noble4d: Yeah.. I do. you studied/studying English Language in school huh? |
Re: One Poem For The Road by noble4d(m): 12:44pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
timpaker: Haaaa i know my English is awful... |
Re: One Poem For The Road by timpaker(m): 12:51pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
Re: One Poem For The Road by noble4d(m): 12:54pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
timpaker: Not English |
Re: One Poem For The Road by timpaker(m): 1:04pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
noble4d:No wonder! |
Re: One Poem For The Road by noble4d(m): 1:07pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
timpaker: No wonder wat? |
Re: One Poem For The Road by timpaker(m): 1:11pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
noble4d:The passion lit in your words.. Not everyone put effort into what they didn't study in full display and authority. Kudos! |
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