Googler:
Life is complicated. The thing about being broke is that you are not in control of what you do or what happens to you. Other people are. And this can bring about a situation of feelings of helplessness. Give you some examples.

1. A colonel sent to my state in the mid-80’s implemented a policy that has left me floundering for years on end.

2. The only good job I ever got, one (13 odd years ago, paid okay and was trekable from my pad) was lost because a member of staff decided to burgle the place and steal stuff, setting off a chain of events that led to detention and termination of the job of every administrative member of staff.

3. When I went to university in the late 90’s I could not complete it because a certain military administrator had put in place some very bad policies which saw fees going up astronomically.

4. When I tried to run an online business a couple of years back, I underestimated the extent of my adverse reaction to stress. Staying up late and getting up early quickly took its toll and I had to abandon the project after losing my entire savings – it wasn’t much, but it was my entire savings.

5. I am currently studying for a degree in law. But someone, somewhere, has decided to bungle my school’s accreditation process – meaning I may not go to law school and my degree will look like eba without soup. Had I any control, I would have gone to a better school.

My present job entails spending between 6 and 7 hours or more in traffic daily (Ogun State go VI) and the pay is just enough to cover that transport and feed you a little. My school fees and co have to come from what I manage to make from writing and editing which is very irregular.

I suspect that the script for our lives is written before we are born. I suspect there is a reason for it - which reason may explain why God does not intervene. Look at me. I could have graduated long long ago and settled into an okay job. But that was not to be. I can be very productive given the right environment – but I’ve been thrown into the most inhospitable physical and emotional environment of all, a roiling lough that appears to blind the eyes and bind the hands. How do you get productive with my working circumstances if you react easily to the stress? You dare not resign because being socially inept (what a post above mine calls being “weird”) has ensured you don’t have any network of friends. So you’re stuck – you can’t get a good job and you can’t go on your own. Fifteen years ago I wanted to be a fiction writer. I think I was quite good at it. Hell, I was winning prizes. But the striving to get food got in the way. I had to eat and I couldn’t combine that with fiction writing. Because, yes, you got it - stress.

I’m not atheist and I have never doubted the existence of God in all these. Why? Because I can see a pattern in everything. I have never completely starved, or been rendered homeless. Food usually turns up when I thought it was over. Things never go so bad I can’t get to the next day. It’s as if the script allows the basics, the barest basics, but nothing more. I can eat. I have a room. But I want a proper apartment. I want a home. I want a wife. I want children feeling my ears with their shrieks. But these have been pipe dreams. That is why one would, perhaps, have been better off with sturdy muscles going to some village farm without a care in the world. But I don’t think God or demons or witches have anything to do with any of these. Sounds complicated? Well, that’s another topic - God. But I hope it explains why I suspect that the script for our lives is written before we are born. You see, there was a time I thought the reasons I can’t bring myself to hurt a fellow human being by stealing from them or cheating or deceiving them is because I’m a good person and those who have no qualms duping old pensioners of their entire life savings are bad people. Now, I’m not so sure it's about being inherently good or bad. I suspect that temperament may explain things. We’re all victims of our temperament.

But, yes, hope one must. So thanks to Angeldemivida, sholay11, onegig, bellong and everyone else. Yes, I have visited the Business section a few times. Once my exams are over next month I am planning to leverage on my residual IT skills and go for video editing training, teach myself website development and spend some time promoting my editing side job online. If my degree will not be useful (they say they’re working on accreditation) I might retain my sanity by trying something else.

Thank you for reading. I won’t have gone into this with anyone – no one cares, not because they’re bad people but because they’re not meant to. So it feels good to ramble on an anonymous forum.

mygeeZ:
I reside and do my business in Lagos while my wife work in Owerri Imo state.
We are married for 5yrs with two kids(girls 3yrs/6months and 1yr6months), She took her annual leave and visited with the kids.
I was having in mind to at least get her pregnant cos i really need a male child to seal the deal. She stayed close to 2months, Just yesterday as i was searching her bag, i found out that she has been using Postnior 2.
I felt betrayed and annoyed, i have not confronted her yet but am waiting to give the Pack at the park tomorow cos she will be going back.
Honestly am devastated and cant just believe she can use such drugs without my consent. I need ur suggestions..

2CatWoman:
wrong board

andromida:


Have peace. You are heard.

I am sorry for your pain the question is what troubles your soul why do you feel so weary? what is killing you inside?Would you care to share someone may have an insight or a word that may help you and its ok to let people know you are not feeling alright its ok to let them see you in pain. The only way out is through the pain don't use the bottle to avoid it, the bottle is a temporary fix and you'll keep returning to it try not to fall into that abyss. The bottle is not your friend you can start by being a good friend to yourself, you don't have to be friends to people you already know are fake.

doskie:

I was timid and shy as a kid. So I missed out child hood. As an adult, I'm lonely and depressed. Plus I wonder what I'm living for. I drive alone carelessly to the beach hoping to find a lonely girl I can share life with. In the end I find none. So I'm back to smoking and drinking cos my heart feels pains. I feel so empty within. I wonder what's left to be done. Hey! I forgot to say thanks for your attention and time

doskie:

I was timid and shy as a kid. So I missed out child hood. As an adult, I'm lonely and depressed. Plus I wonder what I'm living for. I drive alone carelessly to the beach hoping to find a lonely girl I can share life with. In the end I find none. So I'm back to smoking and drinking cos my heart feels pains. I feel so empty within. I wonder what's left to be done. Hey! I forgot to say thanks for your attention and time

Enoquin:
@Googler Keep your head up. Don't allow yourself drown in despair and too much worry. Writing is forever, you can still write when you are old and feeble with an audio recorder and a young assistant typing your words up. Socially inept? Thats just a term...get people of like minds; it will help you during the struggle that you won't even realise that there is a struggle in the first place.

maclatunji:
@Googler, I just read your post. Interesting life you have, I have the feeling it might become a great book someday. My advice to you is to dwell on the positives. It is what I do, everyone has problems but one thing about me is that unless I am ill, you will not find me moping over my problems. There is always something to work on that is positive and if you keep working on positives, good things would begin to happen. It could be a slow process, but it happens.
Keep your head up, keep doing positive things, have faith in God and hopefully things will get better and many of your dreams will come true.
As for your interest in writing, please visit this page, you might find it interesting http://www.facebook.com/storried

Godmother:
@ Googler
I must say that your write-up is quite touching and my heart goes out to you.
But my belief is that contrary to what you said, our lives is not quite a script written out that must be played out whether we like it or not. Call me spiritual, but I believe in the God factor.

There are certain things that we can achieve when we hit the floor with our knees. For one, there's that peace that comes. Then there's the issue of the situation turning around (sometimes not immediately, but it does turn around.

You mentioned getting added skills like video editing and web development and I must say that's a good plan. Those will be added streams of income and being comfortable financially is about having multiple streams of income, some residual.

I just finshed a web development course myself so I can tell you its a course you're gonna love. In all I wish you goodluck.

doskie:

I was timid and shy as a kid. So I missed out child hood. As an adult, I'm lonely and depressed. Plus I wonder what I'm living for. I drive alone carelessly to the beach hoping to find a lonely girl I can share life with. In the end I find none. So I'm back to smoking and drinking cos my heart feels pains. I feel so empty within. I wonder what's left to be done. Hey! I forgot to say thanks for your attention and time

greatgod2012:
Thanks @op, hopefully, this is going to help.

What is suicide attempt?
Suicide attempt simply means an attempt to kill oneself or to take one's life.
Being suicidal means to have the feeling of taking one's life.
What can make one feel suicidal?
1. Frustration, when one is frustrated, whether at home, in the family, at workplace, in one's marriage, among friends, one may be tempted to commit suicide, if there is no one to support or encourage.

2. Depression, when one is depressed, it means one's spirit is down or not lifted, and if care is not taken, such a person can be suicidal. Feeling depressed is a psychological problem, hence counselling and psychariatric treatment is advisable, before it degenerates to being suicidal.

3. Self pity, the feeling that you are the only one in a particular problem and that everyone has to sympathise with you can lead one to being suicidal, especially, when there is no one to sympathise with you.
4. Disappointment, when one is dissapointed by a very trusted friend, partner, relative or child, one may feel suicidal in order to permanently prevent repeat of such occurence.
5. Feeling unloved, when one feel unloved by those whom he really loves, its a feeling of rejection, it can make one feel suicidal.
6. Rejection/abandonment by one's folks/friends can also be a cause.
7. Admittance/acceptance of failure, many people dont really understand the concept of failure before they admit or accept that they are failure, and once that acceptability is there, it may degenerate to being suicidal.
And many others.

Solutions/preventive measures to eliminating suicide attempt.
1. Never compare yourself to anyone, we are distinct/different as individuals, with different capacity, ability and purpose.
2. Remember that everything happens in its time, ie, God's time is the best, some are to make it in the morning of their lives, while some, at noon and some at dusk time of their lives.
3. Always remember that, no matter what you are passing through, some other people must have also passed through it before you, and some others will still pass through it after you, the world celebrates the winner, not considering what the winner might have passed through before he becomes the winner, so, winners dont quit, if you want to be remembered as a winner, dont kill yourself, because you can never win in the grave.
4. Never put all your trust in a fellow human being, it is only God who never disappoint, anyone, regardless of who they are can disappoint.
When you feel depressed, sad, unhappy or disappointed or at a crossroad of life., talk out, talk to people, seek advise, seek counselling, meet with people, read about great people who have passed through similar situations.
5. Never think that without someone, you cant make it, no human being is indispensable, its only God that is as strong and reliable as a rock, believe in Him and believe in yourself, think positive about yourself, because, as a man thinks, so is he. If you believe you can, you can.
Above all, remember that God can NEVER tempt us beyond what we can bear, and when we are tempted, He will make a way of escape for us(1cor 10:13).
God bless us all.
It is well with all of us.

SkinnyDude:
The only thing holding me back from commiting sucide is my family. especially my mum. she has really tried for me. she has sacrificed alot for me. i cant just pay her back with evil. i'm the only son, in a family of two. it's only ME- my kid sister is just 14. i wish i had a brother, who i will play with, rub minds with. who will fïght with me. seeing my cousin, playing with his brother. it depresses me..

livingstone2013:
Life hasn't been fair to me. No job, No money. I had 2.1 in Economics from OAU yet no job. I passed tests of several companies but always get dropped at final interview stage. I want to do business but no capital. I feel like drinking battery water and end my life.Its a wicked world. I can't support my siblings cause I am totally broke.I am now seen as a failure. I seek for job but didn't get it. I eat just once in a day. sometimes nothing except garri only in a day. What kind of miserable life is this? I am seriously depressed cause I know I am not lazy.

kelechiMarie:

bellong:


What is responsible for the depression?

kelechiMarie:
anyway i'm over that now

bellong:


Alright... Good for you that you overcame it.

Harrisibor:
Never knew life will be dis difficult without both parents and younger ones to take care of. Did all my best to bag a degree in Accounting and even graduated with a 2:1 still has holds no meaning

My story is a long and painful one all the hopes I once had has been gradually eroded away and desperation has gradually taking over that suicide is now even an option am given great consideration

Life has not been fair to me. I can't keep watching my younger one go to bed hungry every other night

All I ever wished for is a fair chance to earn a living and be responsible to my younger ones as I type this tears drops from my eyes.

For how long I can keep holding on to hope I can't tell all I need is a life line

God save my soul

nyafunyafu:

My heart bleeds at your situation bro! Pls send a mail to me on chinedu.pavina@gmail.com quote ur username. I'm putting together small secret santa giveaway to anonymous individuals and would like to include you and your siblings in the plan!
This is why I weep for my generation when I hear youths clamor about APC/PDP. We need people with conscience in govt and not the demonic politicians that are littered all over the place!
It is well with you!

Harrisibor:

Sir I have sent you the mail earnestly waiting for your resPonse

Madcow: You are an Economics Graduate.. Maybe you need to go back to the drawing board and re-plan your line of attack. A 2.1 does not mean shiit anymore. I know 3rd Class Graduates who work in Oil companies on merit andI know 1st Class and 2.1 Engineering Graduates from Foreign Universities with MSc'a who are still unemployed.

Try applying to smaller companies and not the Big firms. Look for small servicing companies.. Most Graduates tend to set their eyes on the Big Corporations and forget that these giants are being kept afloat by smaller less conspicuos companies. Research the small companies and apply to them.. Thats where you will get a job, then experience and that experience is what can launch you into the big leagues.

lanrei:
wow!! i thought I was the only one with problems... life is hard, living is worse.. but believing and hope is the key. Nobody has the perfect life..

kelechiMarie:
Let me put it this way,i have a melancholic temperament and i'm usually quiet and introverted.When things hurt i tend to suppress d emotions and move on.
Separation from.my sis and the fact that my parents wanted me to go to science class brought out the feelings.It felt like they didn't understand me,to most people if you're brilliant you have to be in the sciences.I was performing well in science but i hated it and hated myself.
I eventually switched and it felt like i'd disappointed my parents anyway i'm over that now