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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. (977 Views)
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I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 11:57am On Nov 13, 2014 |
Dear house, I need help!! I have been alone since I was 17, in that period I have lived with almost half a dozen friends prior to getting my own lodging. I am in my early twenties now and I am the only one in my life. Because of the crazy way my family acts I have been left all alone to myself. Not that I am complaining, I have learnt to love myself and keep myself busy but there are times when I become incredibly lonely.my circumstances has really turned me into a very weird person, I am ultra quiet and aloof, I don't mix with people easily and I keep to myself. Its this way because I am protecting myself, I don't want any complications. But things have gotten quite complicated in my life, my father passed away and mother still wouldn't call me. In the last 5 years she's called me only thrice, and none at all this year. I am just all alone and I am hanging by the cliff,little things trigger tears and intense sorrow. in the last one month, I have had a VERY HEAVY heart, and just so desolate I am really hapless.just seeking peace, sometimes I become incoherent as a result of the emotional maelstrom raging on in me. |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by beeevan: 12:02pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
You have to give life a meaning for yourself, start your life and step away from the past. Interact, its part of learning, you don't have a friend? |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 12:04pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
If your mum does not call you, why dont you call her? |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 12:05pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
Do you have siblings? |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 12:05pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
I feel your pain,trust me. Just continue loving yourself the more,live in the present and forget the past.. Trust me when you make it,they would all come around.. Jesus is the best anybody can have as friend and more,,,. Feel free to holla at me though. |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 12:14pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
Op, the only way to get rid of the sadness you have in you is to resolve that the loneliness you feel must stop. Dnt you have siblings? extended family members? Reach out to them. You should also converse with your mum often even though she doesnt. Be the one to take the initiative of reaching out and keep it that way. That way, you are re-establishing a connection. Family is all that matters in this life. How about your social life? Try to make friends. Good friends. Start by showing concern for people, people that would normally not expect your attention. Undue loneliness, if left unchecked, can be harmful and can cause depression. It can affect you psychologically. this is why you feel this way. |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 12:21pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
Dear DoctorFaust, I have no fancy words for you nor do I have any thing special to say other than these words from a song I once listened to. I hope this song has the same effect on you as it did me. You with the sad eyes Don't be discouraged Oh I realize It's hard to take courage In a world full of people You can lose sight of it all and the darkness, Inside you makes you feel so small But I see your true colors Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colors True colors are beautiful, Like a rainbow Show me a smile then, Don't be unhappy, can't remember when I last saw you laughing If this world makes you crazy And you've taken all you can bear Just call me up Because you know I'll be there And I'll see your true colors Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Just show your true colors True colors are beautiful, Like a rainbow Such sad eyes Discouraged now Realize When this world makes you crazy And you've taken all you can bear Just call me up Because you know I'll be there And I'll see your true colors Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Just show your true colors True colors, true colors 'Cause there's a shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colors, true colors True colors are beautiful, Beautiful, like a rainbow 2 Likes |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 12:29pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
firstEVA: Even if I do, it seems as if I am forcing myself on her, the convo never never goes beyond the surface. Makes one wonder if that truly is his mum!! |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 12:38pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
Sophyrocks: When I say I am alone I mean it in the strictest sense of the world. My family live in the east while I live in Lagos. My siblings have also shunned me. Its cuz they don't understand me. I know am weird. People have called me wicked and heartless, but that's not who I am. |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 12:41pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
DoctorFaust:such is life my dear, don't feel too bad about it. i'm sure she may be going through some kind of stress herself. be strong, hold on. mix up with people, dont be all alone in self pity, most people who do not have family love, have love from friends, once again mix up, go out, have a girlfriend, it shall be well with you. |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 12:45pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
DoctorFaust:scary |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 12:56pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
DoctorFaust: You say thats not who you are? Then prove them wrong by showing concern for people and reaching out. Actions speak louder. Mix up with people around your vicinity. People will always have a wrong impression of you if you dnt show them that they are wrong. Always wanting to be alone will make people avoid you. But when you draw close to people, people will draw close to you. You will continue to feel this way as long as you continue to be lonely. |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by mutter(f): 1:02pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
I is sad that your family is not working out bu the good news is_ It is time for you to set up your own family. Meet a girl, fall in love and set up your own family. Do not vest too much energy in mending bridges in this state you are now rather create a new bridge. As you focus on building your own family something amazing will happen-- The bridge to your mother and siblings will somewhat improve or at least it wouldn`t tear you apart. Above all - snap out of it.. I mean the impending depression! Tell yourself it is well..IT IS WELL! You need to love yourself and believe inyourself. Even if you are difficult, you still deserve the love of your mum and siblings. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by juman(m): 1:08pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
Open up and interact with people. |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 1:09pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
mutter: thank you so much... That made me feel awesome.. The only thing that has struck home on my thread... God bless!! |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 1:44pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
What of your future? When you're alone with closed eyes and your mind drifts off and paints you into a happier place, where does it take you? Sharing your despair on NL is brave of you, but we are still here on your thread. Share your desires too, maybe you'd gain some practical help |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by egopersonified(f): 1:45pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
If you want to be loved, you have to make yourself available for that love. Try calling your loved ones, pay visits, xmas, easter, etc, gist about things you hear happening, eg so and so is getting married. Ask them about themselves, we all like to talk about ourselves, dont we? Pay a visit when you hear one is sick, etc. Set a timetable for calls and do not postpone any. Give the little you have, even if it is 1k. Volunteer to take up some family responsibilities, not financial, eg going to represent your family in a meeting,occasion, etc. Say what you think and clarify whatever issues someone might raise against you, dont just keep quiet and for peace to rain, accept what you know isnt true. As much as you would want to create new bridges, you still have to mend the old ones so you dont have a feeling of being lost or not knowing where you are coming from. Above all, love yrself, spoil yourself silly, take care of yourself, look for friends with similar interest, find a hobby and do it regularly, so when you seat in your recliner at 80, you wouldnt have any regrets about what you should have done differently. |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Nobody: 1:55pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
Bye fam.... This is harder than I thought. I will deactivate my account shortly. NL isn't helping much!! |
Re: I Need Help To Overcome Intense Sadness. by Kimoni: 2:02pm On Nov 13, 2014 |
He has truly deactivated o, God have mercy. OP, life is never static, you just have to keep trying and believing, hoping you won't do anything silly. Not worth it. I was going to ask why people always say you are wicked and heartless? You need to show love to get love in return. God bless. |
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