fuzzywuzzy:
Am starting to doubt this story myself....what I still don't understand is why anyone would get up to concoct this type of thing.

Many People are jobless and bored and That's what you need to understand

I can't stand it any longer, your posts make me puke every time I read them. What sort of life are you advocating for women that already grew up in a society that tells them their lives should revolve around men. Haba!

For you, it is always what the wife can do, what about the husband? How can a relationship be successful when it's one-sided?

mutter:

However many of us are not properly prepared for marriage. We get allot of advice on how to look for a "qualified man" but hardly any advice on how to keep him and sometimes no advice on how to keep him happy.

Tell us, how do we keep a man and how do we make him happy since all men are the same, right? Let's dismiss the fact that every man is different with different wants and desires.

You are the sort of mother that will teach her female children how to keep a man instead of how to make something out of their lives. No woman can keep a man that does not want to be kept. If he has a problem with how he is being "kept", he is a grown man, let him voice his concerns to his wife.

Is it only men that deserve to be kept or made happy? Everyone of your post, na so so "be happy you're married"!

- Are you a man in the day and a woman at night? If you go through the day being commanding, bossy and ill mannered the man will not be so keen on the metamorphosis metamorphosis at night. Does women out there are seducing them, pretending to be good humoured and understanding.. in order words a consolation to a masculine nagging wife at home.

Look @ this woman. According to her, a man is someone that is "commanding, bossy and ill mannered". When I say the mindset of a lot of Nigerian women are screwed, y'all think I'm playing.

- Do you make him want to rush back home?
How often do you call him to say I love you, cant wait to have you back home?

Why is this hypothetical woman @ home, doesn't she have a place of work to go to?? Why is she always waiting for him to come home, tell her to go out too.


I cannot even blame you too much, the useless woman(op) is willing to tolerate a cheating husband.

BananaBender:
I can't stand it any longer, your posts make me puke every time I read it. What sort of life are you advocating for women that already grew up in a society that tells them their lives should revolve around men. Haba!

For you, it is always what the wife can do, what about the husband? How can a relationship be successful when it's one-sided?



Tell us, how do we keep a man and how do we make him happy since all men are the same, right? Let's dismiss the fact that every man is different with different wants and desires.

You are the sort of mother that will teach her female children how to keep a man instead of how to make something out of their lives. No woman can keep a man that does not want to be kept. If he has a problem with how he is being "kept", he is a grown man, let him voice his concerns to his wife.

Is it only men that deserve to be kept or made happy? Everyone of your post, na so so "be happy you're married"!




Look @ this woman. According to her, a man is someone that is "commanding, bossy and ill mannered". When I say the mindset of a lot of Nigerian women are screwed, y'all think I'm playing.



Why is this hypothetical woman @ home, doesn't she have a place of work to go to?? Why is she always waiting for him to come home, tell her to go out too.


I cannot even blame you too much, the useless woman(op) is willing to tolerate a cheating husband.

1 million likes. I have since given up on mutter. Not going down that road with her ever again. Good luck... Arggggg

So OP, is cheating back your final answer?

What I do not honestly get is why you think cheating on your husband is better/makes you a better woman than leaving leaving him.

mutter:
There are some men that would never repay good for good, but I believe that most men appreciate a good thing.
However many of us are not properly prepared for marriage. We get allot of advice on how to look for a "qualified man" but hardly any advice on how to keep him and sometimes no advice on how to keep him happy.
If you have am man that is happy and contented, and if he is a good man he would be rushing back home to your arms.
Some questions you need to ask yourself.
- Are you a man in the day and a woman at night? If you go through the day being commanding, bossy and ill mannered the man will not be so keen on the metamorphosis metamorphosis at night. Does women out there are seducing them, pretending to be good humoured and understanding.. in order words a consolation to a masculine nagging wife at home.
Men are mentally and physically aroused by a humble and submissive woman. This does not mean you have to crawl or be the fool. But you have to be good mannered and respectful and considerate of his wishes.
- Do you make him want to rush back home?
How often do you call him to say I love you, cant wait to have you back home?
- Do you show appreciation? Everyone needs to be appreciated. he needs it too. Praise him often, tell him what is so great about him and how glad you are to have him as a husband. He will certainly reciprocate with appreciating you.
Do you express your love physically? This is very important. Cuddle him, hug him, kiss him. Body contact is very important, even if you just stroke his arm as he passes by.Before he goes out in the evening hug him and tell him what you are looking forward to . He will certainly rush back home to you.
- Do you ever bother to ask him what you have done wrong or what he would like you to change? Even in a business, one has to evaluate and access. He might surprise you with what he has to say. Things you might never have thought mattered.
Then don`t go on the defence but take it serious and walk on it.
Do you make efforts to make the nights a highlight. Or is it just the same old routine?

Story for the Gods. I m d most submissive wife out there. i use to pride myself in making my husband happy n family happy.

Some men just life the extra on d side that i knw is d case here

BananaBender:
I can't o.


I cannot even blame you too much, the useless woman(op) is willing to tolerate a cheating husband.

were makin sense till u called me a useless woman. i actually consider myself a realist. i will not leave this cheating man cos i once considered him d holy grail of men. if he can change on me any other man can. so we will enjoy d life together.


men need to understand that women ve feeling too n temptation goes both ways.

happywife:


Story for the Gods. I m d most submissive wife out there. i use to pride myself in making my husband happy n family happy.

Some men just life the extra on d side that i knw is d case here

So why do you think cheating on him is better than leaving him? You just said you are capable of taking care of yourself and the kids so why are you afraid of leaving him? Societal pressures?? Just remember that you might catch these STDs you are currently running away from even faster than your husband if you decide to go this route. Don't understand why you want to force yourself to be somebody you are not over a man that is not worth it??

Try and make adequate preparations for your children's future before you start.

I don't know exactly how to forgive something like this but I am sure that you cannot forgive it just because you think that you have to stay with him because most men cheat and the next one would cheat too.

I think that you can only forgive when you want to and not because you have no better options; the latter would be tolerance, not forgiveness.

Kimoni:

So why do you think cheating on him is better than leaving him? You just said you are capable of taking care of yourself and the kids so why are you afraid of leaving him? Societal pressures?? Just remember that you might catch these STDs you are currently running away from even faster than your husband if you decide to go this route. Don't understand why you want to force yourself to be somebody you are not over a man that is not worth it??
Try and make adequate preparations for your children's future before you start.

How do you know the kind of woman she is?
S ex is actually really enjoyable ,is it only cheating men that enjoy s ex? Or you think if she finds a fresh blokos to give it to her well she won't enjoy it?
So you think that if she wants to knack she won't protect herself as per condom? Std ko std ni..tell that to the useless men

Op do whatever makes you happy..if its to massage a stray banana to keep you sane,enjoy.Especially as you won't leave.
All na temptation...go and sin no more

Bananabender I am sorry to disappoint you. My first daughter made the best A level result in her school and is studying .
I raise my children to aim for the best but never to loose sight of the fundamental values in life.
Humility, honesty and decency. Empty vessels are loud and crude.
A woman does not have to be a stay at home mum, but I would assume that a young woman with young kid`s would not necessarily have to be one that works late hours like the man. It is a privilege to have time to spend with the kid`s when they are young.
Besides what stops you calling your husband from work.
Anyway, you can puke all you like, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I have mine and you have yours.
I will only advice other women not to be deceived by you. Loads of women have this strange habit of trying to make out this dominant and feminist image outside.. yet they are the ones that take the most shit from men.

Jahblessme:


How do you know the kind of woman she is?
S ex is actually really enjoyable ,is it only cheating men that enjoy s ex? Or you think if she finds a fresh blokos to give it to her well she won't enjoy it?
So you think that if she wants to knack she won't protect herself as per condom? Std ko std ni..tell that to the useless men

Op do whatever makes you happy..if its to massage a stray banana to keep you sane,enjoy.Especially as you won't leave.
All na temptation...go and sin no more

lol u see women need to start thinking this way then the men will learn. when de grinding ontop another woman they should picture their wives doing same only enjoying it more.

Jahblessme:


How do you know the kind of woman she is?
S ex is actually really enjoyable ,is it only cheating men that enjoy s ex? Or you think if she finds a fresh blokos to give it to her well she won't enjoy it?
So you think that if she wants to knack she won't protect herself as per condom? Std ko std ni..tell that to the useless men

Op do whatever makes you happy..if its to massage a stray banana to keep you sane,enjoy.Especially as you won't leave.
All na temptation...go and sin no more

He runs after babes, then she strays after every banana she sees, who suffers? Who are those watching this lifestyle and learning? Or you think they are blind?

Anyways, if that is already a solution, no point in feeling bad about ur hubby or opening a thread. Just start already!

mutter:
Bananabender I am sorry to disappoint you. My first daughter made the best A level result in her school and is studying .

I am glad your daughter made straight As. I never accused your daughter of being dumb madam, learn to read and comprehend.

I raise my children to aim for the best but never to loose sight of the fundamental values in life.
Humility, honesty and decency. Empty vessels are loud and crude.

Good!
I am not against humility, honesty or decency, every human being should aspire to that regardless of their gender. You should raise your daughter (and sons) to be honest, humble and decent but you should also raise them to demand humility, honesty and decency from their spouses.

A woman does not have to be a stay at home mum, but I would assume that a young woman with young kid`s would not necessarily have to be one that works late hours like the man. It is a privilege to have time to spend with the kid`s when they are young.

Thank God paternity leave is being introduced to the system. It is a privilege for both parents to spend time with the kids when they are young.

Besides what stops you calling your husband from work.

Nothing stops me from calling him but nothing also stops him from calling me at work.

I will only advice other women not to be deceived by you. Loads of women have this strange habit of trying to make out this dominant and feminist image outside.. yet they are the ones that take the most shit from men.

...because I tell them not to take sh1t from anybody including men, therefore I am fake?? Basically, you're trying to tell me that you can't wrap your head around the fact that there are women who do not consider marriage a do or die affair and who do not take sh1t from "oh mighty men". Can someone shout , 'mental slavery!'

When I hear women like you talk, it saddens me. Really, it does. I just hope that you can raise a female child that do not see herself as inferior to the opposite gender, a child that is NOT brought up to take sh1t from men, a child that knows her rights and worth, a child that knows she deserves to be respected, submitted to and "kept" in return.

happywife:



were makin sense till u called me a useless woman. i actually consider myself a realist. i will not leave this cheating man cos i once considered him d holy grail of men. if he can change on me any other man can. so we will enjoy d life together.


men need to understand that women ve feeling too n temptation goes both ways.

You're correcting wrong with another wrong, I don't think that is the most logical way to look at it. Tolerating a cheating man does not make you a realist hun, it makes you an enabler.

You are rewarding him for cheating by tolerating it. Women give men passes for cheating all day and wonder why 'all' men cheat. They cheat because women are okay with it, they cheat because the society is okay with it.

If you are the one caught cheating, do you think your husband will be looking for ways to tolerate your cheating a*ss, he will kick you to the curb before you finish blinking.

@Kimoni

Na soooo.The kids are watching gist scare tactic expired long ago...As the husband de knack dey go the kids no de watch?
As she wan shag so she go do am for where her kids dey?
My point is this, scare tactics used to dissuade women from cheating dont work anymore.
Let someone decide not to cheat simply cos she doesn't want to not cos of irrational fears..there's a practical solution to it
A. USE CONDOMS
B. BE DISCRETE.
C. TRY NOT TO GET CAUGHT

I repeat s ex is sweeettt and doing it to keep body and soul together well,I can't castigate anyone with a useless husband who tows this line since she must not divorce.She dedicates her life to some man and his stale blokos ,toils night and day,bears kids only to be cheated onconstantly and now she wan chop clean banana wey stand brekete una don remember std ?
Its not revenge se x,its just trying something sweet and new.Man must not chop one blokos forever.
Abi na prayer she go use de scratch the urge?
When they are tired and old,they repent and sin no more.

Jahblessme:
@Kimoni

Na soooo.The kids are watching gist scare tactic expired long ago...As the husband de knack dey go the kids no de watch?
As she wan shag so she go do am for where her kids dey?
My point is this, scare tactics used to dissuade women from cheating dont work anymore.
Let someone decide not to cheat simply cos she doesn't want to not cos of irrational fears..there's a practical solution to it
A. USE CONDOMS
B. BE DISCRETE.

I repeat s ex is sweeettt and doing it to keep body and soul together well,I can't castigate anyone with a useless husband who tows this line since she must not divorce.She dedicates her life to some man and his stale blokos ,toils night and day,bears kids only to be cheated onconstantly and now she wan chop clean banana wey stand brekete una don remember std ?
Its not revenge se x,its just trying something sweet and new.Man must not chop one blokos forever.
Abi na prayer she go use de scratch the urge?
When they are tired and old,they repent and sin no more.

Why?

She said she won't divorce naaa. U go force am?
Abi you don't know that its better to die than divorce?(naija style).

Jahblessme:
She said she won't divorce naaa. U go force am?

And I asked why? To be called a "Mrs" at all cost?

I'm not her..how am I supposed to know?
Ask the countless women who do the red bra nairaland treatment ,endless prayers or petting the men and ignoring.
Many are now going undergee to help themselves.
I no de judge anybody o jare.

Jahblessme:
I'm not her..how am I supposed to know?
Ask the countless women who do the red bra nairaland treatment ,endless prayers or petting the men and ignoring.
Many are now going undergee to help themselves.
I no de judge anybody o jare.

Like I said earlier, she should just start already. Since its so easy for her to sleep as around well, they must be a perfect match. No wonder they attracted each other in the first place. Good morning!

Kimoni:



And I asked why? To be called a "Mrs" at all cost?

Why are you preaching divorce? Don't you know divorce is a sin ni?

jennykadry:


Why are you preaching divorce? Don't you know divorce is a sin ni?

I don o. I didn't realise cheating is now more honorable than seperation, I must be living behind time.

Why will i divorce the father of my kids he is a great father and a good man. i m not that selfish the kids deserve a life with their father.

Like i said before i will stay in d hopes that things will go back to the way they were be4. in the meantime will i die in misery. no i will find ways to make myself happy

I am not the enabler here i m just fighting against a society that tells men its ok to cheat. men ve polygamous tendencies what rubbish . women ve been programed from birth by this same men to think in this stupid manner i will not

Jahblessme:
I'm not her..how am I supposed to know?
Ask the countless women who do the red bra nairaland treatment ,endless prayers or petting the men and ignoring.
Many are now going undergee to help themselves.
I no de judge anybody o jare.

you are so right. the advice a woman get when her husband is cheating is plain insulting. pray 4 him, its d devil, (even foreigners that Brought Christianity dont abuse it like we do) try n improve ur looks change ur wardrobe (excuse those r just fine n world class) think of the kids (i did n they will be fine till they old enough to be on their own) maybe the woman use juju ( if u stay where u suppose to Juju woman will not find u) Don't worry he will change just treat him nice , tell him u love him (how is dis possible na. i dont pretend )

happywife:


I have never believed in divorce.
and that will not make me happy either

so cheating will make you happy. Ok o

happywife:
Why will i divorce the father of my kids he is a great father and a good man. i m not that selfish the kids deserve a life with their father.

Like i said before i will stay in d hopes that things will go back to the way they were be4. in the meantime will i die in misery. no i will find ways to make myself happy

I am not the enabler here i m just fighting against a society that tells men its ok to cheat. men ve polygamous tendencies what rubbish . women ve been programed from birth by this same men to think in this stupid manner i will not

Good to know you are not contemplating on divorce, divorce should be the last thing on your mind.
My advice, stop thinking about what he is doing while he is away. Just try to tell yourself that he is at work, and came back because of traffic. That way your sanity is assured.

Wrong assumptions could kill a relationship and since you haven't caught him with anyone, keep calm and pretend he isn't cheating.
Please don't go checking his phones, searching for condoms etc. If he sees you are not worried bout what he does,or where he is at the moment I believe he will adjust.

Focus on your kids and wht makes you happy.

Double post[color=#990000][/color]

happywife:
Why will i divorce the father of my kids he is a great father and a good man. i m not that selfish the kids deserve a life with their father.

Like i said before i will stay in d hopes that things will go back to the way they were be4. in the meantime will i die in misery. no i will find ways to make myself happy

I am not the enabler here i m just fighting against a society that tells men its ok to cheat. men ve polygamous tendencies what rubbish . women ve been programed from birth by this same men to think in this stupid manner i will not

My sister, I really dont know what else to say. But I wont advice you to go the path you are thinking.

Whatever anybody thinks, this is still africa, infact this is Nigeria. Maybe you schooled or grew outside here, but I ll advise you dont bring shame to yourself, your family and generations unborn by doing what you are thinking.

I dont know what part of nigeria you come from, but I talk to you like an elder brother, it is a TABOO in this part of the world for a married woman to sleep around while still under the same roof with a man you are legally married to.

Its crazy, but that it is the way it is and it wont change in a hundred years. You cannot isolate yourself from the society you live.

It is not a good option,but u shd rather leave him than sleep with another man while living with him. The reppercussion wont be palatable. That is the way it is.

I think you are the 'city type'. I am not saying you cant protect yourself if you still believe hes cheating on you, but a married woman sleeping around is a NO NO over here.

You dont want me to start enumerating the cultural,physical and spiritual dangers of going this path. In this clime, it is called PROST.ITUTION. Am I saying the man is right? Hell no!

You dont want a decent woman like you being called an ASEWO. That is what they are called here. It is even more decent you leave him rather than go sleeping around. If it becomes public knowledge, which it will, it would nolonger be about you and your husband o!

Anyhow, its your call. But dont bring ignominy to your family, especially if you both hail from the part of nigeria where these things are taken seriously. calm down,ur husband will stray back,same way he strayed away. In the meantime, make sure you protect urself from Stds if hes the type who you think will do it outside without a condom.

I ll also advise you start making friends with mature married women and not young girl friends who would advice you to poison him

story of my life.
Its only when women cheat heaven will fall .
abeg do what makes you happy

I can't believe some people are encouraging her to cheat as well.

Chiefpriest1:



My sister, I really dont know what else to say. But I wont advice you to go the path you are thinking.

Whatever anybody thinks, this is still africa, infact this is Nigeria. Maybe you schooled or grew outside here, but I ll advise you dont bring shame to yourself, your family and generations unborn by doing what you are thinking.

I dont know what part of nigeria you come from, but I talk to you like an elder brother, it is a TABOO in this part of the world for a married woman to sleep around while still under the same roof with a man you are legally married to.

Its crazy, but that it is the way it is and it wont change in a hundred years. You cannot isolate yourself from the society you live.

It is not a good option,but u shd rather leave him than sleep with another man while living with him. The reppercussion wont be palatable. That is the way it is.

I think you are the 'city type'. I am not saying you cant protect yourself if you still believe hes cheating on you, but a married woman sleeping around is a NO NO over here.

You dont want me to start enumerating the cultural,physical and spiritual dangers of going this path. In this clime, it is called PROST.ITUTION. Am I saying the man is right? Hell no!

You dont want a decent woman like you being called an ASEWO. That is what they are called here. It is even more decent you leave him rather than go sleeping around. If it becomes public knowledge, which it will, it would nolonger be about you and your husband o!

Anyhow, its your call. But dont bring ignominy to your family, especially if you both hail from the part of nigeria where these things are taken seriously. calm down,ur husband will stray back,same way he strayed away. In the meantime, make sure you protect urself from Stds if hes the type who you think will do it outside without a condom.

I ll also advise you start making friends with mature married women and not young girl friends who would advice you to poison him

Thank u for ur advice i really appreciate but truth be told its this attitude that makes men think its their right to cheat. not their fault only d bible talked about men with 100s of wives so why not its allowed abi.

Whether u believe it or not d no of women doing so have increased drastically the pro of it is that after it all everybody comes home happy n no one is hurt. the home will even be a happier home. have spoken to people with different views n the bottom line should be that m happy not living in denial.

@ Happywife
Sleeping with a man is a very intimate thing and there are so many things that go with the mere act. Risk of infection and so on.
I don`t think you would want to bring yourself so down. Remember too that many men kiss and tell. How do you think your kid´s will feel if the find out one day? Find other ways to express your feeling to your husband. The most logical thing would be to ask him to test himself before coming to meet you. You claimed you were the most submissive wife out there.. well how can you switch so suddenly to wanting to give yourself on a plater to other men?
The true test of humility, respect and submissiveness is in how we react when we are hurt or pushed to the wall.
You might have felt my previous advice was outdated but the world never changes.
I teach my children that respect is the most important factor that has to exist in a relationship. It is more important than love for sustaining a relationship. That is why they should never accept a man treating them disrespectfully, not even in a joking manner. The best way to achieve this is by themselves being respectful.
If your or someone else does something to hurt you, set an example by remaining noble and decent. What you are about to do is cutting your nose to spite your face.