cococandy:


no they will spend it looking for the love the husbands didn't give them from their sons. Frustrating their daughters in law and generally being a nuisance to the young couple because they spent their youth and the age they should have been loving up living in bitterness .

God knows why e no give me daughter, because any frustrated hag of a MIL go smell pepper from my hand if she craze near my daughter, if the marriage wan crash, make e crash, rubbish! Why are women so wicked to themselves? this one is even earning well, yet.... .

happywife:
I need advice on how to cope with a cheating husband.

I have always suspected that my husband was cheating on me but confirmed it recently when i found some condoms were missing from our home n his bank statement showed payment for a hotel when i was away on a short trip .when i confronted him his stories ranged from his friend took it to i was mistaken in my counting n to i went to the room but changed my mind n left without doing anything. but his behaviour showed he was sorry for about 2 weeks then back to normal. problem now is i cant bring myself to trust him n my love for him is reducing daily.when he comes home late from work or doesn't take my calls all i can think about is that he is with another woman. To be honest it's killing me slowly cos i find myself calling him n quarrelling with him constantly.

I dont think i can leave him cos he cheated on me cos lets face it most men do i just need advice on how to cope with my emotions cos i m soo unhappy n its affecting every area of my life . Sometimes i feel like paying him in his own coin but i m a one man kind of babe.

I just want to concentrate on my kids now but how do i cope with being suspicious all d time n being jealous n bitter n a whole lot of emotions thats killing me.

MY ADVICE IS ODD BUT SIMPLE

GIVE HIM 1 WEEK TO STOP THOSE DIRTY ACTS, IF HE DOES'NT FOLLOW THE STEPS BELOW
1. STARVE HIM OF SEX OR ROMANCE
2. BUY NICE SEXY SEDUCTIVE DRESSES
3. WEAR THEM MORE ON WEEKENDS AND ATTEND ENOUGH OUTINGS LIKE CINEMAS, SHOWS, CONCERTS ETC (U DON'T NEED TO TELL HIM WHERE U ARE GOING)
4. TRY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE TO CHEAT ON HIS EMOTIONS, DON'T STOP LOVING HIM, BUT GIVE HIM ZERO ATTENTION
5. LASTLY DON'T STOP PRAYING

IF AFTER 2 MONTHS HE DOES'NT CHANGE, RENT YOUR OWN APARTMENT AND MOVE IN WITH YOUR KIDS
BY DOING THESE, U ARE SAVING YOURSELF FROM EARLY GRAVE
YOUR KIDS NEED U

Hmmn.

cococandy:


no they will spend it looking for the love the husbands didn't give them from their sons. Frustrating their daughters in law and generally being a nuisance to the young couple because they spent their youth and the age they should have been loving up living in bitterness .

I always say that 95% of bitter MILs are women who were unhappy in their marriages.

just relax Ur mind,men are polygamous in nature is in them already,there is nothing u can do to change him,the more u think about it the more u will be going down,just fell unhaunt one day God will touch him,or u will like to die and leave ur kids.know that when u die he will still marry another woman,and will not take care of ur kids.so cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllll

Sweetlemon:


It's a universal thing.

Lol, you need to come to my work place on Fridays after work, at the bar. With everyone getting loose with booze - and a lot of white folks that work in the city do drugs as well. Things are happening and it's the same everywhere.

Most folks just love living in denial cos they can't deal with reality.

@ happywife

A lot of people have said a lot of things... My advice? Explore everything possible to make you happy, including divorce, if necessary, BUT DO NOT CHEAT!!! It's just wrong...

Doing so will only increase the likelihood of going down that divorce line, and when if you do, which do you think will serve you better: divorce because your husband cheated or divorce because you (both) cheated

I'm not advocating divorce, I only mean you should consider cheating as a last resort; divorce should even be considered before cheating.

P.S.: My stand on infidelity has nothing to do with religion, heck, apply common sense. You don't have to be a b!73h (no pun intended) to prove you married a dog (no pun intended)...

SirShymex:
Anyway, you lot need to stop making cheating and women who decided to ride with their husbands a black or naij thing.

David Beckham cheated on his wife openly more than once. And Victoria Beckham stayed with him. Ditto Bill Clinton with Monica Lewinsky...and Hillary Clinton is still with him. Heck, white folks cheat more than black folks after booze sessions.

Stay on topic, please.

Only David and Bill didn't act like they were studs and enjoying their God given rights to cheat!

RatandBot:


Shut this thing you call mouth.. Are you a wife to all men on earth? Be watchful of your tongue.

*ignored*

BananaBender:


You're correcting wrong with another wrong, I don't think that is the most logical way to look at it. Tolerating a cheating man does not make you a realist hun, it makes you an enabler.

You are rewarding him for cheating by tolerating it. Women give men passes for cheating all day and wonder why 'all' men cheat. They cheat because women are okay with it, they cheat because the society is okay with it.

If you are the one caught cheating, do you think your husband will be looking for ways to tolerate your cheating a*ss, he will kick you to the curb before you finish blinking.

u ar mekin serious nd nice point here, bt one thing I jst wnt u 2 undastand here is dat nature favors a cheating man more dan d woman nd dier is absolutely no equality here btw a man nd a woman wen it coms 2 matters lik dis.

U can xpect a man 2 easily kick d a.ss of a cheatin wife out bt dnt xpect a woman 2 easily do dat cos at d tail end, d woman stil suffers d most.

Factors like aging, menopause, lost of beauty, societal presure and discremination naturaly afects women more in al ramification, so u see y she can nt easily kick out d a.ss of her cheating husband.

A man in his 50's nd 60's can easily pick up anoda fresh nd vibrant woman as wife nd evn be hapy do so, bt it is dificult 4 women of such age 2 find back dat type of hapines again in man.

So d whole condition is jst critical nd lies on d man 2 turn a new leav.

Op, if truly al u said are right, nd dat u stil kip urself wel nd stil look gud, den bring dat ur hubby 2 me let me crack his head 4 him so he wil knw dat dier is notin nxt 2 a nice and submisiv women who ar dificult 2 find, and he has one by his sid witout valueing her dat much. Den his head jst need 2 be cracked so he wil com bak 2 his senses.

naijababe:


Only David and Bill didn't act like they were studs and enjoying their God given rights to cheat!

That was cos they got caught and it became a public affair. And due to their status in the society and not wanting to lose that privilege, they had to do whatever it takes to save their careers.

If they had been just a regular Joe, it would have been a different story. And I'm sure they still cheated after that - especially playboy Bill lol.

How about the wives who stood by them despite the public embarrassment? Was that also a black thing?

In my tour of this life..I simply havent come across a man who doesnt cheat. Sometimes I have almost found one until..his delilah comes along.
My final conclusion is that its in the DNA.

Ive cheated at some point too..I had the usual feeling of guilt. but I moved on with a lesson..avoid any occassion of privacy with the opposite sex no matter how disciplined you think he or she may be.

bongolistik:
u ar mekin serious nd nice point here, bt one thing I jst wnt u 2 undastand here is dat nature favors a cheating man more dan d woman nd dier is absolutely no equality here btw a man nd a woman wen it coms 2 matters lik dis.

U can xpect a man 2 easily kick d a.ss of a cheatin wife out bt dnt xpect a woman 2 easily do dat cos at d tail end, d woman stil suffers d most.

Factors like aging, menopause, lost of beauty, societal presure and discremination naturaly afects women more in al ramification, so u see y she can nt easily kick out d a.ss of her cheating husband.

A man in his 50's nd 60's can easily pick up anoda fresh nd vibrant woman as wife nd evn be hapy do so, bt it is dificult 4 women of such age 2 find back dat type of hapines again in man.

So d whole condition is jst critical nd lies on d man 2 turn a new leav.

Op, if truly al u said are right, nd dat u stil kip urself wel nd stil look gud, den bring dat ur hubby 2 me let me crack his head 4 him so he wil knw dat dier is notin nxt 2 a nice and submisiv women who ar dificult 2 find, and he has one by his sid witout valueing her dat much. Den his head jst need 2 be cracked so he wil com bak 2 his senses.

babyosisi:
Another regular cheating thread?
Gosh!
Are we going to run away from this family section for you people?


Please come back with more stimulating topics like

" my husband's mistress drives a Benz and I am hopping okada"
" my husband hasn't give me HIV yet,what should I do""
"My husband's third mistress gave birth to triplets and I am yet to carry belle"
" where in mile 2 can I buy authentic otapiapia for my husband "
" I just shot my cheating husband ,am I a widow"

COMMENT OF THE YEAR!!

Let me add my own: Abeg ladies, stop disturbing our ears with threads like "HOW DO I COPE WITH MY CHEATING HUSBAND", be more scintillating, let's hear stories like:

"After 25 faithful years to my cheating husband, his mistress showed up at his burial with a son claimed all his property. My daughters and I have nothing!"

"My cheating husband only gave me Gonorrhea this time, how long before he gives me HIV?"

"Am tired of going shopping, looking nice and seeking for ways to distract myself. Is there any place else I can go to, so I don't think of my cheating husband?"

"Now my kids are all grown up and in school, which hobbies can I take up so I don't notice my husband's cheating?"

"My husband gave his mistress Apple 6 yet I'm using Curve 2. Do you think I should pray more or cook egusi more lovingly for him?"

"My husband's girlfriends are all yellow, please where is Mama Tega's shop located, I need a bleaching cream"

Funny thing is most of the people coming here to form iron lady happy home happy husband are passing through worse than the op. So because this is a faceless forum you want her to divorce her husband by force and sharp sharp so that she can be a properly educated and enlightened woman abi? She has decided to stay with her husband so guys deal with it and advice her on the positive way forward not to use indirect snideous comments to make her feel foolish. Mrs husband owner how sure are you that your own is even faithful? Women are really their worst enemies abeg. And i dey hit my head for wall sey i wan marry. Omaga o!

SirShymex:


That was cos they got caught and it became a public affair. And due to their status in the society and not wanting to lose that privilege, they had to do whatever it takes to save their careers.

If they had been just a regular Joe, it would have been a different story. And I'm sure they still cheated after that - especially playboy Bill lol.

How about the wives who stood by them despite the public embarrassment? Was that also a black thing?

I never said cheating was a black thing, go and read my first post o this thread. Only some black men more often than not act like it's a their right to cheat. While I know and agree is not specific to us, the vast majority of white folks would at least show so remorse, when they don't it means they are ready to end the marriage.

naijababe:


I never said cheating was a black thing, go and read my first post o this thread. Only some black men more often than not act like it's a their right to cheat. While I know and agree is not specific to us, the vast majority of white folks would at least show so remorse, when they don't it means they are ready to end the marriage.

Showing remorse is an individual thing, not a race thing. A lot of regular white folks also don't show remorse. Remorse or lack thereof isn't a cultural thing.

Anyway, cheating isn't something most folks do openly. So it might be difficult to show remorse if you were not caught in act lol.

lacord5:


Darling your husband seems to have extra cash in his pocket all the time, money make men cheat! They have enough to hang out, pay for hotels, take care of their new babes etc. Now he is able to do all that cos you have a good job and probably shoulder half of your family responsibilities, believe me if he were broke (I don't mean unemployed oh) and thinking of saving up money for children's school fees and rent and insurance, he won't have money left for extravagances.
Now solution... Change your kids schools, take them to a better and more expensive school, tell him their old school is now crap and it's a good investment to their future, be all nice and sweet while talking about this . Then, where do you live? A rented house? You need to get a land and start building, tell him how real estate is the new rave and a good investment too, look for a land and get him see the need to have his own house, by the time he starts building every kobo will go into it, be supportive too, show interest and always hang by him. If you already have a house, build more for rent and as an investment.
Again it may be hard but show him love, forgive him in your heart, be an active member in your church and get him to become one too, if you don't have a nanny please get one, hang out with him and those his friends and slowly get him to hang with you, be a buddy. Don't report him anymore to anyone, don't claim to be too tired to go to parties and clubs please go with him, listen to gospel teachings it will ease your pain.
DO NOT CHEAT BACK! It is your body, you won't like to desecrate yourself just cos he is doing so, you will feel worse. And it won't solve anything at all.
Stop cutting cost, get those things your family lack, don't wait anymore, get him to spend his money, start projects and don't stop... And moreover pray for him to change, don't underestimate the power of prayer and money

God bless you. Dear, build the house because you need it. Change the schools because its a good investment on their future. Start a new business because it will occupy your free time. Don't let critics run you down babe. Look good and happy always. Cheers

Katier00:
why are you calling me names, you just heard the woman, she wants to start xtra marital affair because her hubby is doing so, that is not life, why not leave , fall in love again and maybe that will be the right man instead of cheating

I agree with u on this, although i'm not in support of divorce; but what u said makes sense. All i can understand from this woman is that, even though her husband is a cheat, she too is a cheat. She shld 've told us earlier that she had wanted to cheat on her husband from time immemorial instead of talking trash. OP, from d way u sounded, u're a cheat too. It's better u refrain from carrying out ur threat 'cos the consequences might be dire. It's not as if i'm in support of ur husband, but if u can't cope, instead of cheating on him, separate for a while from him but don't have a divorce entirely.

beeevan:




God knows why e no give me daughter, because any frustrated hag of a MIL go smell pepper from my hand if she craze near my daughter, if the marriage wan crash, make e crash, rubbish! Why are women so wicked to themselves? this one is even earning well, yet.... .

hehehe. byvan.

Been following this thread. the best posts have come from women. Interesting to see how they react differently.

...following

Smh.

GL, OP.

bukatyne:


I always say that 95% of bitter MILs are women who were unhappy in their marriages.

yes ke

Anyway OP, continue to be a good wife, make sure you create an atmosphere for peace at home, and he has to use condoms with you. And hopefully, with prayers, he will outgrow this phase.

Hillary Clinton, Victoria Beckham, and Kobe Bryant's wife stood by their husbands and helped them change to become upstanding men lol. You can do the same.

And these are great women with great achievements who deal with reality not fantasies.

Shalom.

bongolistik:
u ar mekin serious nd nice point here, bt one thing I jst wnt u 2 undastand here is dat nature favors a cheating man more dan d woman nd dier is absolutely no equality here btw a man nd a woman wen it coms 2 matters lik dis.

U can xpect a man 2 easily kick d a.ss of a cheatin wife out bt dnt xpect a woman 2 easily do dat cos at d tail end, d woman stil suffers d most.

Factors like aging, menopause, lost of beauty, societal presure and discremination naturaly afects women more in al ramification, so u see y she can nt easily kick out d a.ss of her cheating husband.

A man in his 50's nd 60's can easily pick up anoda fresh nd vibrant woman as wife nd evn be hapy do so, bt it is dificult 4 women of such age 2 find back dat type of hapines again in man.

So d whole condition is jst critical nd lies on d man 2 turn a new leav.

Op, if truly al u said are right, nd dat u stil kip urself wel nd stil look gud, den bring dat ur hubby 2 me let me crack his head 4 him so he wil knw dat dier is notin nxt 2 a nice and submisiv women who ar dificult 2 find, and he has one by his sid witout valueing her dat much. Den his head jst need 2 be cracked so he wil com bak 2 his senses.

@bold

Not true.

He must be very rich and / or very handsome and fit.

If he is not, forget it.

I must add that he must be ok with the girl loving his money and not him.

As for the rest, women beyond their menopause get married abroad all the time.

lacord5:


Darling your husband seems to have extra cash in his pocket all the time, money make men cheat! They have enough to hang out, pay for hotels, take care of their new babes etc. Now he is able to do all that cos you have a good job and probably shoulder half of your family responsibilities, believe me if he were broke (I don't mean unemployed oh) and thinking of saving up money for children's school fees and rent and insurance, he won't have money left for extravagances.
Now solution... Change your kids schools, take them to a better and more expensive school, tell him their old school is now crap and it's a good investment to their future, be all nice and sweet while talking about this . Then, where do you live? A rented house? You need to get a land and start building, tell him how real estate is the new rave and a good investment too, look for a land and get him see the need to have his own house, by the time he starts building every kobo will go into it, be supportive too, show interest and always hang by him. If you already have a house, build more for rent and as an investment.
Again it may be hard but show him love, forgive him in your heart, be an active member in your church and get him to become one too, if you don't have a nanny please get one, hang out with him and those his friends and slowly get him to hang with you, be a buddy. Don't report him anymore to anyone, don't claim to be too tired to go to parties and clubs please go with him, listen to gospel teachings it will ease your pain.
DO NOT CHEAT BACK! It is your body, you won't like to desecrate yourself just cos he is doing so, you will feel worse. And it won't solve anything at all.
Stop cutting cost, get those things your family lack, don't wait anymore, get him to spend his money, start projects and don't stop... And moreover pray for him to change, don't underestimate the power of prayer and money

Best advice so far!!!

DailyNews:
take it or leave it sister, all sexually active men cheat!! And same, all financially buoyant married men cheat! Once a man tastes that forbidden fruit, he will keep exploring more forbidden fruits cos the one he has tasted will become sour in his tongue and he wants to taste new ones.

A married man can only remain faithful if he has no money, struggling financially and lack the opportunity due to certain factors, aside that, all married men cheat!! If u like, keep arguing it. The best u ladies can do is to also start cheating so we can have a peaceful world, simple!!

With what u ladies are putting on about, and how ladies love money and material things and give buoyant men green and even blue lights, how do u ladies expect a man to stick to one woman who over time stops looking attractive/sexy to him

Blame it on nature and women pls

I think you'll find plenty of women feel happier to leave it! The biggest ish I have with cheating are the lies. When you, Dailynews, inevitably cheat on your wife (who probably will not sign up for your I cheat, you cheat arrangement because it's stupid), I hope you will take ownership over your male inclinations and speak the truth at the risk of losing everything. If you could not, I'll forever be calling men like you weak .

I'm going to ignore the blah blahs about women and money because again, sweeping generalisations that don't account for all.

happywife:
Thanks 4 all d info advice guys i ve decided since my husband has adopted d married but living single life i will do same. 2 can play this game.may d best man/woman win .


m out.

the greatest mistake was bringing this to public notice cos u will end up confused with different suggestions an all. There is only one solution talk it out with your hubby. Trust me if you decide to pay him back you will end more miserable than you are at the moment. ..

Pictures or...

BananaBender:
I can't stand it any longer, your posts make me puke every time I read them. What sort of life are you advocating for women that already grew up in a society that tells them their lives should revolve around men. Haba!

For you, it is always what the wife can do, what about the husband? How can a relationship be successful when it's one-sided?



Tell us, how do we keep a man and how do we make him happy since all men are the same, right? Let's dismiss the fact that every man is different with different wants and desires.

You are the sort of mother that will teach her female children how to keep a man instead of how to make something out of their lives. No woman can keep a man that does not want to be kept. If he has a problem with how he is being "kept", he is a grown man, let him voice his concerns to his wife.

Is it only men that deserve to be kept or made happy? Everyone of your post, na so so "be happy you're married"!




Look @ this woman. According to her, a man is someone that is "commanding, bossy and ill mannered". When I say the mindset of a lot of Nigerian women are screwed, y'all think I'm playing.



Why is this hypothetical woman @ home, doesn't she have a place of work to go to?? Why is she always waiting for him to come home, tell her to go out too.


I cannot even blame you too much, the useless woman(op) is willing to tolerate a cheating husband.

I may need to ask if u are married?

If still single....are u in a relationship?

Ur comments leaves a lot of questions

So he should now pack her things and leave? Or live in a very uncomfortable house? Or maybe go find her and start a scene?

These options, me can't do.
I'd rather be a loving wife, for my own conscience and mind. Sometime acting as if you don't know he is cheating maybe one way to Ease your pain and hurt. Talk about it and move on from there. What you don't know, won't hurt you. So you had to go check my profile eh? You try wella.

These guys are not dumb!!! They know what they are doing. When it's not right, their common sense tells them and no matter how you wanna think it, they also have conscience. They just take longer time to activate it.


YYN

dmz:


I guess being the one he comes home to, having his kids and stealing his last name {from your profile pics) is enough to ease the pain of someone else sharing your hobbies time, money and d1ck.

Waiting for her to get dumped and then waiting some more for the next one to get dumped. Issorayi..

happywife:
I need advice on how to cope with a cheating husband.

I have always suspected that my husband was cheating on me but confirmed it recently when i found some condoms were missing from our home n his bank statement showed payment for a hotel when i was away on a short trip .when i confronted him his stories ranged from his friend took it to i was mistaken in my counting n to i went to the room but changed my mind n left without doing anything. but his behaviour showed he was sorry for about 2 weeks then back to normal. problem now is i cant bring myself to trust him n my love for him is reducing daily.when he comes home late from work or doesn't take my calls all i can think about is that he is with another woman. To be honest it's killing me slowly cos i find myself calling him n quarrelling with him constantly.

I dont think i can leave him cos he cheated on me cos lets face it most men do i just need advice on how to cope with my emotions cos i m soo unhappy n its affecting every area of my life . Sometimes i feel like paying him in his own coin but i m a one man kind of babe.

I just want to concentrate on my kids now but how do i cope with being suspicious all d time n being jealous n bitter n a whole lot of emotions thats killing me.

Sorry ma'am, most men don't do it..... When you start giving this excuse, you open yourself up to be cheated on....