cococandy:


no they will spend it looking for the love the husbands didn't give them from their sons. Frustrating their daughters in law and generally being a nuisance to the young couple because they spent their youth and the age they should have been loving up living in bitterness .

Nne eh
If not that I am born again and trying to stay on the straight and narrow sometimes I want to advise the wife of a cheating husband to just go out and cheat to her heart's desire
What nonsense
There are a zillion men out there that can give her a good time
She may actually feel much better afterwards
For how long will somebody pray ?
You are praying,your man is shining Congo at Sheraton
You go night vigil shouting die die die,he is at Hilton and both him and the Okpeke are very much alive
You are jumping from one prayer house to another looking haggard and emaciated ,he is jumping from one bed to another happy
Why can't the Holy Spirit just allow women take matters into their own hands eh

Sorry folks
My flesh was speaking

Sorry bout ur cheating hubby @ happy wife

But to be honest with ourselves,look arnd...how many gals on this thread can boast she neva dated a married man...

A lady once told me...she enjoys dating married men...Cz of the money am sure

Am not saying @ happywife/rowzzay did this b4 getting married

But honestly,most of the married women complaining here have done it once@least

It's karma if u ask me

I pray ur husbands have a change of heart

roWzayy:
Im in d same shoes as well.my hubby is a cheat in disguise he claims to love me but yet still cheat,when I was pregnant he went outside to sleep with anoda girl I found out thru his chat with his friend imagine how many he might have slept with wen I had my baby n d process of trying to heal back#d worst is dat d men he hangs out with re all cheating on their wives*my fear now is when will he stop and my prayer is let him not come n infect me with std or Hiv(God forbid)

Women should realize that a cheating husband is more romantic and family caring than a non cheating husband.
Believe it or not its the hard truth in Nigeria. Just advice him to use protection end of story.

carefreewannabe:
I don't know exactly how to forgive something like this but I am sure that you cannot forgive it just because you think that you have to stay with him because most men cheat and the next one would cheat too.

I think that you can only forgive when you want to and not because you have no better options; the latter would be tolerance, not forgiveness.

let te love of God take over... Hard as it may , you will definitely forgive.

Kimoni:


He runs after babes, then she strays after every banana she sees, who suffers? Who are those watching this lifestyle and learning? Or you think they are blind?

Anyways, if that is already a solution, no point in feeling bad about ur hubby or opening a thread. Just start already!

who cares about who s watching ..... You wanna live in sadness because you wanna please your next neighbor.

BananaBender:

I am glad your daughter made straight As. I never accused your daughter of being dumb madam, learn to read and comprehend.


Good!
I am not against humility, honesty or decency, every human being should aspire to that regardless of their gender. You should raise your daughter (and sons) to be honest, humble and decent but you should also raise them to demand humility, honesty and decency from their spouses.


Thank God paternity leave is being introduced to the system. It is a privilege for both parents to spend time with the kids when they are young.



Nothing stops me from calling him but nothing also stops him from calling me at work.



...because I tell them not to take sh1t from anybody including men, therefore I am fake?? Basically, you're trying to tell me that you can't wrap your head around the fact that there are women who do not consider marriage a do or die affair and who do not take sh1t from "oh mighty men". Can someone shout , 'mental slavery!'

When I hear women like you talk, it saddens me. Really, it does. I just hope that you can raise a female child that do not see herself as inferior to the opposite gender, a child that is NOT brought up to take sh1t from men, a child that knows her rights and worth, a child that knows she deserves to be respected, submitted to and "kept" in return.

you just need to understand one meets different class of individuals on Nl

babyosisi:


If not that I am born again and trying to stay on the straight and narrow sometimes I want to advise the wife of a cheating husband to just go out and cheat to her heart's desire
What nonsense
There are a zillion men out there that can give her a good time
She may actually feel much better afterwards
For how long will somebody pray ?
You are praying,your man is shining Congo at Sheraton
You go night vigil shouting die die die,he is at Hilton and both him and the Okpeke are very much alive
You are jumping from one prayer house to another looking haggard and emaciated ,he is jumping from one bed to another happy
Why can't the Holy Spirit just allow women take matters into their own hands eh

Sorry folks
My flesh was speaking

they do. Don't mind these our 'innocent ' sisters. Only that what the men don't know can't hurt them.
Some men have affairs with their married colleagues, bosses, business associate etc yet in their minds their wives cannot cheat.
Fools paradise.
If you know how many married women that are having affairs with their pastors you will cry for the husbandfolk.

Our naija sisters know how to cry very loudly when the man Is fuuckikng around forgetting that out if the four kids they have,two don't belong to the man . Lmao

mutter:
Bananabender I am sorry to disappoint you. My first daughter made the best A level result in her school and is studying .
I raise my children to aim for the best but never to loose sight of the fundamental values in life.
Humility, honesty and decency. Empty vessels are loud and crude.
A woman does not have to be a stay at home mum, but I would assume that a young woman with young kid`s would not necessarily have to be one that works late hours like the man. It is a privilege to have time to spend with the kid`s when they are young.
Besides what stops you calling your husband from work.
Anyway, you can puke all you like, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I have mine and you have yours.
I will only advice other women not to be deceived by you. Loads of women have this strange habit of trying to make out this dominant and feminist image outside.. yet they are the ones that take the most shit from men.

Madam mutter, may your days be long. I have a non submissive woman in my home now. Infact, I would be better of marrying an illiterate. You actually made so much sense with your advice on how to treat her husband. A lot of these our 21st century girls are made about these their women's right today. Very soon our communities will collapse like the african american community.

A white feminist woman teaches our girls that men and women have equal rights. Dem white feminists get back home and shower love on their husbands only for you black mugu to be shouting on your man. you say 10 things before he says one. Tell me any man who is will willin to cope with a nagging wife today.

AZeD1:

I know of a girl whose mother doesn't believe in education for the girl child. She recently finished her medical degree and is trying to specialize but her mum doesn't her.

Why should she even bother about her mum? She needs to move on. If she gets married to a man whose mother is alive...no harm in taking her mother inlaw as her mother

Odutodaiwa:


Madam mutter, may your days be long. I have a non submissive woman in my home now. Infact, I would be better of marrying an illiterate. You actually made so much sense with your advice on how to treat her husband. A lot of these our 21st century girls are made about these their women's right today. Very soon our communities will collapse like the african american community.

A white feminist woman teaches our girls that men and women have equal rights. Dem white feminists get back home and shower love on their husbands only for you black mugu to be shouting on your man. you say 10 things before he says one. Tell me any man who is will willin to cope with a nagging wife today.

Lol, the Nigerian community in the UK might be worse than the African American community right now. And that's for a group with no crack-era/crack-babies with massive imprisonment history.

Odutodaiwa:


Madam mutter, may your days be long. I have a non submissive woman in my home now. Infact, I would be better of marrying an illiterate. You actually made so much sense with your advice on how to treat her husband. A lot of these our 21st century girls are made about these their women's right today. Very soon our communities will collapse like the african american community.

A white feminist woman teaches our girls that men and women have equal rights. Dem white feminists get back home and shower love on their husbands only for you black mugu to be shouting on your man. you say 10 things before he says one. Tell me any man who is will willin to cope with a nagging wife today.

Do you live with these white women? How do you know they shower their husbands love?

Have you never seen a feminist shower her husband with attention? Do you people think feminists are cruel unemotional thugs?

Educate yourself first on feminism before you display your ignorance any further

babyosisi:

Nne eh
If not that I am born again and trying to stay on the straight and narrow sometimes I want to advise the wife of a cheating husband to just go out and cheat to her heart's desire
What nonsense
There are a zillion men out there that can give her a good time
She may actually feel much better afterwards
For how long will somebody pray ?
You are praying,your man is shining Congo at Sheraton
You go night vigil shouting die die die,he is at Hilton and both him and the Okpeke are very much alive
You are jumping from one prayer house to another looking haggard and emaciated ,he is jumping from one bed to another happy
Why can't the Holy Spirit just allow women take matters into their own hands eh
Sorry folks
My flesh was speaking

Abeg abeg abeg, born again or not you said it as it is, you cheat on me heavens know I WILL do the same. Suffer in silence because I dey craze abi because of wetin? Thank goodness I have gazzillions of exes that I can go to if he decides to start fooling himself.

cococandy:
Our naija sisters know how to cry very loudly when the man Is fuuckikng around forgetting that out if the four kids they have,two don't belong to the man . Lmao

That's the funny thing. I know quite a number of females that see nothing wrong with wives cheating. Even the ones wey dey form shorsh goer sef will tell you that all sins are equal in the eyes of the lord and that adultery is on the same level as telling lies or some other insignificant sin. Abeg I no fit laugh. On the internet everyone is a virtuous woman.

majekdom2:
who cares about who s watching ..... You wanna live in sadness because you wanna please your next neighbor.

The word "learning" should have given you an idea of who I'm referring to. Children learn from their parents not neighbors

mannyiyke:
I agree with u on this, although i'm not in support of divorce; but what u said makes sense. All i can understand from this woman is that, even though her husband is a cheat, she too is a cheat. She shld 've told us earlier that she had wanted to cheat on her husband from time immemorial instead of talking trash. OP, from d way u sounded, u're a cheat too. It's better u refrain from carrying out ur threat 'cos the consequences might be dire. It's not as if i'm in support of ur husband, but if u can't cope, instead of cheating on him, separate for a while from him but don't have a divorce entirely.

thank you dear, u got my point

CHoccolaTE:
That's the funny thing. I know quite a number of females that see nothing wrong with wives cheating. Even the ones wey dey form shorsh goer sef will tell you that all sins are equal in the eyes of the lord and that adultery is on the same level as telling lies or some other insignificant sin. Abeg I no fit laugh. On the internet everyone is a virtuous woman.

my naija sisters are very hypocritical when it comes to stuff like this. Someone who just left her lover's house with the xemen still not dry will join hands to shame another woman in the street because that one was caught.

Meanwhile all men cheat and we have fact to prove that men are even slightly higher in number than women in the population. So who are the men cheating with?
Not Nigerian women of course. Maybe she goats and women from other countries. Certainly not my virtuous sisters.

jennykadry:


Why are you preaching divorce? Don't you know divorce is a sin ni?

pls divorce is no sin.... The only reason that justifies divorce is adultery. I wonder why majority of the pastors preach against it and keep telling the to pray . There are some issues you don't need prayer to resolve.

happywife:
Why will i divorce the father of my kids he is a great father and a good man. i m not that selfish the kids deserve a life with their father.

Like i said before i will stay in d hopes that things will go back to the way they were be4. in the meantime will i die in misery. no i will find ways to make myself happy

I am not the enabler here i m just fighting against a society that tells men its ok to cheat. men ve polygamous tendencies what rubbish . women ve been programed from birth by this same men to think in this stupid manner i will not

he is no great father.... Wait till the other babes have kids for him.... All you will hear is a " it is a mistake". Those babes may be more desperate than you thinking.

majekdom2:
pls divorce is no sin.... The only reason that justify divorce is adultery. I wonder why majority of the pastors preach against it and keep telling the to pray . There are some issues you don't need prayer to resolve.

its better for her to cheat...dont you know it is a sin to divorce your otherr half?

Evathyst:
Fall in love again kwa? Av u 4goten dt all men are d same? Anyone u think isn't cheating hasn't gotten d opportunity to or maybe u still avnt caught him in d act.




Men dem gan self! Tufia!

. My dear wetin you want make i say na? Woman wan cheat becos oga dey cheat, that is not right na. You are right , all men are the same so lets jus deal with it or leave it

jennykadry:


its better for her to cheat...dont you know it is a sin to divorce your otherr half?

oh I see the humor now .... Lols

Did you catch him with another woman? Seriously, did you? So because you noticed missing condoms and hotel payment details, you concluded your husband is cheating on you with another woman. Either the OP is being economical with the truth or is just confused herself.

Again, you stated in your story that you confronted your husband and he told you he wasn't cheating. Why don't you take his answer for whatever it is worth and move on with your life? Or has he been lying to you as well since you got married?

Anyway, from my experience, women only put up with cheating men if he is wealthy and very good looking. The excuse about wanting your kids to have a great life even though it sounds a great idea, could be a smokescreen as I know some women to be very selfish and would stop at nothing when exiting a relationship they no longer feel comfortable with.

Another possible theory is your simply worried that other women are attracted to your husband for the same reasons that you find him irresistible, hence your resort making things up in your own head, that aren't really there .

Whatever the case, since you have decided to endure the situation as you suggested, I don't think there is any other short cut to happiness in your marriage except you yourself calm the f**ck down. You must admit the fact that your marriage is having a rough patch for one or two reasons, like any other marriage (even though yours appears to be exaggerated in your own head.) So you must take whatever you get from this on the chin and move on.

At any rate, there is no marriage that does not have its own problems. It's just that you have decided to bring yours to the public domain for an advice, even though you've got your mind pretty much made up on what to do.

Lastly, you sound very frustrated and this level of animosity alone is enough to make any man frankly aghast. my advice: Try not to blow hot air for at least 10 seconds everyday and you just might calm see things a bit clearer.

Nashville:
OP,

From your very first post, you seemed like one of those retired runs-girls who dated married men when she was single and was lucky enough to get married to some nice guy. You seem so comfortable with the belief that "most men cheat" so you are just trying to figure out how to cope with the "expected" cheating that comes with marriage. But I did not want to sound harsh, so I didn't respond to your first few posts.

When you now explained that your solution was to cheat on him as well, I was 95% sure that you dated married men in your past and cheating is no big deal to you. In fact, you just want to go back to your old ways of having aristo, sugar daddy, maga, uncle, sponsor etc. by the side. I am sure you have already lined up some ex-boyfriends to call.

But I became 100% sure that you were an ex-runs girls when you said your husband is a very good man. He might be a good man and a good father but he is certainly not a good husband. Good husbands are not serial cheats. Your mindset is completely skewed because you have come to accept it as the norm. I can bet 1 million naira you dated married men when you were single; so you now believe it is normal.

One thing I like about you though, is that you are not a hypocrite. For you, cheating is normal - for both men and women so you don't see anything wrong. You dated married men when you were single, now that it's happening to you, you are not really complaining; so I give you credit for being sincere and honest. You are not like some hypocrites that dated several married men when they were single and yet would come and complain their husbands are cheating on them. Those are the ones I dislike the most.

I am so much in love with you with the love of God.

veave:


Were did you read that she wants to start extra marital affairs? She only said she doesn't want to be tempted to start.

she has the thought already.... It's never bad , but better for her to leave the marriage.

Odutodaiwa:


Madam mutter, may your days be long. I have a non submissive woman in my home now. Infact, I would be better of marrying an illiterate. You actually made so much sense with your advice on how to treat her husband. A lot of these our 21st century girls are made about these their women's right today. Very soon our communities will collapse like the african american community.

A white feminist woman teaches our girls that men and women have equal rights. Dem white feminists get back home and shower love on their husbands only for you black mugu to be shouting on your man. you say 10 things before he says one. Tell me any man who is will willin to cope with a nagging wife today.

Your ignorance is mind-boggling. You should have married an illiterate, you two would deserve each other.

What has feminism got to do with nagging? Where did ever see a feminist promote nagging or insolence?

You blame feminism for the "collapse of African American" communities? Mr, stop saying what you know nothing about and read a darn book!

bennyrazz:
no one knows the genesis of op's problem but apparently, seems husband have been good in other ways. No man is perfect, everyman has a flaw, maybe that is the man's flaw. Cheating is not/should not be encouraged in marriage cuz there are so many spiritual implications. Marriage is a covenant. A body, soul and spirit covenant. There are always repercussions when covenants are broken.

when you keep having flaws at your place of work , don't you get sacked?

roWzayy:
Im in d same shoes as well.my hubby is a cheat in disguise he claims to love me but yet still cheat,when I was pregnant he went outside to sleep with anoda girl I found out thru his chat with his friend imagine how many he might have slept with wen I had my baby n d process of trying to heal back#d worst is dat d men he hangs out with re all cheating on their wives*my fear now is when will he stop and my prayer is let him not come n infect me with std or Hiv(God forbid)

I don't know what is wrong with some men. chopping pu...ssies is like joy to dem. I wonder y a man can not control himself. dis is how d devil started and became greedy. not contented

bukatyne:


I always say that 95% of bitter MILs are women who were unhappy in their marriages.

My dear, you can say it again. Mothers married to their sons instead of husbands. Once their sons have a baby, they pick up their Ghana must go bag heading for omugwo. Leaving the wandering blokus man of a husband. That kin life.

Pathetic

SirShymex:


Lol, the Nigerian community in the UK might be worse than the African American community right now. And that's for a group with no crack-era/crack-babies with massive imprisonment history.

So feminism is the reason for kids growing up without their fathers in the African American community? Feminism is to be blamed for the amount of single mothers in AA community. Really?! Really?!! Feminism is the cause of early pregnancy or teenage mothers??

I like when you show how dumb you really are Shy, you are just like any of these noise-making empty heads on NL.

SirShymex:
It is a phase, especially with those who start early. It's just basically like being too outgoing - you are going to get bored of it after a while. But if ya husband started late - then you might need Jesus to take the wheel loool.

As long as he finds peace at home, and you are not an insolent and problematic wife, with no manners and knowledge of how to treat a man right. He will outgrow it. All he needs is peace at home and a patient wife. And you'd be surprised when he becomes a new man with a whole new game plan.

my dad is about 70 , If not for an enlarged prostate he will still be womanizing,he did that till he was about 65 and was diagnosed. He won't out grow anything. Wait till he infects her or bring in other kids in the name of mistake.

babyosisi:


Nne eh
If not that I am born again and trying to stay on the straight and narrow sometimes I want to advise the wife of a cheating husband to just go out and cheat to her heart's desire
What nonsense
There are a zillion men out there that can give her a good time
She may actually feel much better afterwards
For how long will somebody pray ?
You are praying,your man is shining Congo at Sheraton
You go night vigil shouting die die die,he is at Hilton and both him and the Okpeke are very much alive
You are jumping from one prayer house to another looking haggard and emaciated ,he is jumping from one bed to another happy
Why can't the Holy Spirit just allow women take matters into their own hands eh

Sorry folks
My flesh was speaking

Born again ?
You wey mouth sharp pass razor blade.


Wonders shall never end

Odutodaiwa:


Madam mutter, may your days be long. I have a non submissive woman in my home now. Infact, I would be better of marrying an illiterate. You actually made so much sense with your advice on how to treat her husband. A lot of these our 21st century girls are made about these their women's right today. Very soon our communities will collapse like the african american community.

A white feminist woman teaches our girls that men and women have equal rights. Dem white feminists get back home and shower love on their husbands only for you black mugu to be shouting on your man. you say 10 things before he says one. Tell me any man who is will willin to cope with a nagging wife today.

This one Marry disrespectful wife, him call am feminists

Behind every nagging woman, there is someone notdoing what he is supposed to do.

Check your self and live long