DesChyko:


I'ld have to post the "Opinion" here again. That is the reason.

No, let the girl child play, she will learn to cook and other household chores when necessary, when mummy and daddy are not around.

Some men were not taught at home and still learned it so let the girl child play too, she will figure everything out later when it becomes a necessity.

@Crackhaus
You don't wait for a man to be unable to cater for his family, before sending his daughters to school, do you?
You don't wait till there are no husbands forthcoming, before teaching the girls to be hardworking and earn some cash, do you?

Why do you to wait for unwanted circumstances before teaching boys to adapt? What if they've become too old to quickly grasp these things? Will they have to wait till they're like my dad, with four annoying children, before grasping for domestic control? If with all his knowledge it was hard for him, how do you think a person with zero knowledge will fare?
Why not train them when they are young enough and have enough mental flexibility borne of fewer responsibilities?

Of course, the intensity of the training should be different for both genders, since each one really have more specific roles than the other, but that doesn't exonerate the other party from any form of training still.

Useful knowledge doesn't harm no one, rather it leaves you very balanced.

Most girls just like to deceive themselves.why should a man do house chores when he is married.he can help in buying food stuff and helping out once in a while even d first woman in d land of plenty was still gathering food for her family. A boy child should learn because his mother needs help not because he should b cooking for his family.

DesChyko:
My father made a point of making sure I leave the 'women' things to the women.
From a very young age, I was taught to stay away from the kitchen and 'sissy' chores. He encouraged me to go struggle for it out there instead, academics and otherwise.
When I got admission into the Uni, I learnt how to cook and all that, but the lesson has been ingrained. My son will tow this path as well.
I see 'females' opposing this stance. I was never taught all these, but I can do them now without losing any bit of my formative years in the past.

But you want your wife to work,earn salary and give you

UjSizzle:
@Crackhaus
You don't wait for a man to be unable to cater for his family, before sending his daughters to school, do you?
You don't wait till there are no husbands forthcoming, before teaching the girls to be hardworking and earn some cash, do you?

Why do you to wait for unwanted circumstances before teaching boys to adapt? What if they've become too old to quickly grasp these things? Will they have to wait till they're like my dad, with four annoying children, before grasping for domestic control? If with all his knowledge it was hard for him, how do you think a person with zero knowledge will fare?
Why not train them when they are young enough and have enough mental flexibility borne of fewer responsibilities?

Of course, the intensity of the training should be different for both genders, since each one really have more specific roles than the other, but that doesn't exonerate the other party from any form of training still.

Useful knowledge doesn't harm no one, rather it leaves you very balanced.

You missed my line of thought, but let me clarify to pass my message easier.

The formal training of boys to be domestically inclined is actually best achieved when it isn't formal, it's something that will be picked up on when it becomes a necessity.
For example, there's an age a boy gets to where his mom no longer washes his clothes or cleans his room, he automatically begins to do these things himself.
If there is a female sibling, she gravitates more towards domestic chores that revolve around the kitchen while the male gravitates towards chores like ironing, gardening, washing the car(s) and changing tyres, or fixing and replacing electrical/mechanical stuff around the house.

Trying to upset this chore preferences is what I deem overkill - imagine your son playing video games or football with his friends, you then order him to join his sister(s) in the kitchen just because he needs to be domesticated...how do you think that makes him feel?

The domestic training is not something that need be forced on a guy, it just happens..just as a girl isn't forced to learn how to change the electricity fuse, so a boy isn't forced to learn how to cook.

I don't see any reason why I should go anywhere near the kitchen when there is/are girl(s) in that same house, unless I want to treat someone to my own meal or I get hungry and no one else is around to do the cooking.

No one is too old to learn how to take care of himself/herself or survive on their own, unless they have a mental deficiency like Down Syndrome.

coogar:


i wasn't taught all that & i don't think i missed anything. i was only interested in doing what men normally do. help in installation of gadgets or heavy equipments, wash & warm the car, mow the lawn, fuel & service the generator. my sisters took care of the feminine chores. that's their job!

See your mouth
I trust your wife sha . . .she will teach your boys to cook and do house chores whether you like it or not

Wash and warm car for boys only kwa? so how do single ladies living alone do it or they dont drive cars, own generators or buy and install Tv's?

Thats why so many of you have been trapped by pregnancy which started from a babe cooking you simple egusi soup, when she saw that you were starving to death cos you couldnt cook . . even if you didnt like the girl, cos you like her soup and you cant cook, you keep on letting her into your room until pregnancy comes

You better teach your sons to cook, so they dont go to uni and are at mercy of all the babes in their halls of residence.

What if your parents only had male children nko? so you will all sit there while your mum does all the work abi? . . .

chaircover:

See your mouth
I trust your wife sha . . .she will teach your boys to cook and do house chores

i will personally send my wife back to her parents if she sends my sons to the kitchen. if she needs a help mate, she should produce daughters. my sons would rarely be indoors to be learning to grate okro or blend pepper.

no one is making my boys effeminate - na so gay tendencies dey start.

Wash and warm car for boys only kwa? so how do single ladies living alone do it or they dont drive or have gens?

single ladies take their cars to car-wash or find another a muscular boyfriend to do the car washing and servicing for them. that's exactly like boys eating out. it's what it is. how many single ladies can change tyres or fix a fan belt? do men refuse to marry women because she cannot locate where the radiator or brake fuel is in a car engine?

you see - it works both ways.

Thats why so many of you have been trapped by pregnancy which started from an babe cooking you simple egusi soup, when she saw that you were starving to death cos you couldnt cook

what has pregnancy gotta do with good? you mean who cook don't have unprotected sex? the above is hilarious. sėx & food are worlds apart. forcing boys to cook is the first step of making him gay.

be careful what you teach your sons - these are perilous times. boys should only do physically-tasking chores. carrying your suitcases(full of pomo) from heathrow, putting the bin out, learning little plumbing work, fixing electrical appliances, knowing how electrical circuits/fuse work, changing the bulb, etc.

You better teach your sons to cook, so they dont go to uni and become useless and at the mercy of all the babes in their halls of residence.

their wallet would bail them out.
i refused to learn to cook in the kitchen & i never starved for one day in uni. all sorts of women came to my crib to cook for me - actually, it was my strongest pick-up line. the babes wanted to impress me with their cooking skills & i wanted good food.

the relationship was perfectly symbiotic.

^^ He will send his wife back to her parents. That is the type of women you roll with. Adults who have to go back to mummy and daddy when husband says so because they are unable to take care of themselves without the husband.

coogar:


i will personally send my wife back to her parents if she sends my sons to the kitchen. if she needs a help mate, she should produce daughters. my sons would rarely be indoors to be learning to grate okro or blend pepper.

no one is making my boys effeminate - na so gay tendencies dey start.



single ladies take their cars to car-wash or find another a muscular boyfriend to do the car washing and servicing for them. that's exactly like boys eating out. it's what it is. how many single ladies can change tyres or fix a fan belt? do men refuse to marry women because she cannot locate where the radiator or brake fuel is in a car engine?

you see - it works both ways.



what has pregnancy gotta do with good? you mean who cook don't have unprotected sex? the above is hilarious. sėx & food are worlds apart. forcing boys to cook is the first step of making him gay.

be careful what you teach your sons - these are perilous times. boys should only do physically-tasking chores. carrying your suitcases(full of pomo) from heathrow, putting the bin out, learning little plumbing work, fixing electrical appliances, knowing how electrical circuits/fuse work, changing the bulb, etc.



their wallet would bail them out.
i refused to learn to cook in the kitchen & i never starved for one day in uni. all sorts of women came to my crib to cook for me - actually, it was my strongest pick-up line. the babes wanted to impress me with their cooking skills & i wanted good food.

the relationship was perfectly symbiotic.

yeye!!!
Is this not the same coogar I saw shelling egusi seeds in the village

On a serious note, my dad taught me how to change tyres, change electrical plugs and all the boys in my house are very good cooks.
There is nothing wrong in being multi talented.
I dont have to wait for my husband before I can do certain things and vice versa.

chaircover:
What if your parents only had male children nko? so you will all sit there while your mum does all the work abi? angry . . .

my mom's closest friend in nigeria back then has 6 sons. she got up to 6 children cos she was looking for that elusive female child. she had to hire a housemaid cos the sons refused to cook. even when she cooks for herself & the dad, they would sneak into the house, eat her food and go back to the field to play football.

the dad insisted none of his boys should be in the kitchen. however, she never had to hire a driver. the boys were always handy to drive her anywhere she wanted - let boys learn manly stuff & let the girls learn their stuff. a boy will never have any issues finding a wife simply because he cannot cook.

a girl will run into trouble finding a husband cos she cannot cook. that's the difference.

chaircover:

yeye!!!
Is this not the same coogar I saw shelling egusi seeds in the village

if you see me shelling egusi seeds in the village, there must be a purpose attached. perhaps there's a maiden around i was trying to get in contact with.

On a serious note, my dad taught me how to change tyres, change electrical plugs and all the boys in my house are very good cooks.
There is nothing wrong in being multi talented. I dont have to wait for my husband before I can do certain things and vice versa.

it's good for the men in your house but it's not necessary. i don't have to wait for a wife to do certain things too. if she's running late, i grab the phone and order takeaway. is there a problem with that?

coogar:


my mom's closest friend in nigeria back then has 6 sons. she got up to 6 children cos she was looking for that elusive female child. she had to hire a housemaid cos the sons refused to cook. even when she cooks for herself & the dad, they would sneak into the house, eat her food and go back to the field to play football.

the dad insisted none of his boys should be in the kitchen. however, she never had to hire a driver. the boys were always handy to drive her anywhere she wanted - let boys learn manly stuff & let the girls learn their stuff. a boy will never have any issues finding a wife simply because he cannot cook.

a girl will run into trouble finding a husband cos she cannot cook. that's the difference.

I guess that is how that family rolled
One of my mums collegues had 4 boys
and those boys did chores that even us girls didnt have to do
They used to process maize from scratch to make pap
That woman hardly entered the kitchen
She would say that would she die becasue she didnt have daughters
I am sure that those boys are someones dream husband somewhere now

On a serious note, a lot of men who are "trapped" by a woman you will find that the lady was giving them something that they didnt have; be it good sex, food, money . . . etc
They say the way to a mans heart is through their stomach. You cant underestimate this fact
Men with several wives tend to like the one who can cook the best.
Food is very very important
You wont return to a restaurant that served you tasteless food.

DesChyko:


Ahaa.. The exact line I was looking to represent without contradicting myself.
I included 'primarily' there because while it is normal to see bachelors patronize eatries, it is obscence to happen upon women who have no influence on their kitchens and environments in the orthodox African family.
The lessons are crucial for a woman-to-be, but quite excusable for the boy-child.
This is the reality.

That's the reality these ladies seem to have a problem with, unfortunately that's the way it's gonna be for a very long time.

Even in situations where boys are made to learn and master cooking skills, almost all still end up ditching it and depending on the culinary skills of their spouse - they may still be good cooks, but it will be an occasional thing and not the norm.

My man, another mistake people make which you also unknowingly did, is ascribing this way of life to Africans - it is a universal thing.
Women no matter their race, nationality, and ethnicity, still trump men when it comes to handling traditional domestic chores like cooking.

chaircover:

I guess that is how that family rolled
One of my mums collegues had 4 boys
and those boys did chores that even us girls didnt have to do
They used to process maize from scratch to make pap
That woman hardly entered the kitchen
She would say that would she die becasue she didnt have daughters
I am sure that those boys are someones dream husband somewhere now

and they could as well be someone's footmat as we speak. knowing how to cook has nothing to do with the being a good husband. a good cook of a hubby might be abusive to his wife. a kitchen-lazy husband might be sweet to his wife.

On a serious note, a lot of men who are "trapped" by a woman you will find that the lady was giving them something that they didnt have; be it good sex, food, money . . . etc

every heterosexual male would need that from his woman - so we all can be trapped then. abeggi, food is too cheap a commodity to put a man in an entrapment.

there's a restaurant in canning town - their bowl of stew is just £20(it comes complete with assorted meat) and it lasts more than 10 days. i would rather choose that option than stay in the kitchen sneezing & sweating like i am getting an award for knowing how to cook.

They say the way to a mans heart is through their stomach. You cant underestimate this fact. [b[Men with several wives tend to like the one who can cook the best.
Food is very very important[/b]
You wont return to a restaurant that served you tasteless food.

and this is exactly why only women should learn cooking. men select women based on their cooking ability. women don't choose men based on his kitchen skills so why is it necessary for me to cook?

coogar:


and they could as well be someone's footmat as we speak. knowing how to cook has nothing to do with the being a good husband. a good cook of a hubby might be abusive to his wife. a kitchen-lazy husband might be sweet to his wife.



every heterosexual male would need that from his woman - so we all can be trapped then. abeggi, food is too cheap a commodity to put a man in an entrapment.

there's a restaurant in canning town - their bowl of stew is just £20(it comes complete with assorted meat) and it lasts more than 10 days. i would rather choose that option than stay in the kitchen sneezing & sweating like i am getting an award for knowing how to cook.



and this is exactly why only women should learn cooking. men select women based on their cooking ability. women don't choose men based on his kitchen skills so why is it necessary for me to cook?

. . and how many youth corpers can afford to pay N5000 on a pot of soup?
I know what I am talking about
You are comparing pick up phone & call Dominoes pizza with a youth corper being fed by a village girl becasue he doesnt know how to light his own stove. A girl he woukdnt normally have given the time of day to, but becasuse he is hungry and cant cook, he sees her as a life saver.

its better that you train both you male and female children to be self sufficient, and strong, cos you never know where they may find themselves one day.

Sambarry is a female and when she couldnt find somewhere to stay, she drove herself from Ibadan to lagos arriving home at 11pm. That is a strong woman, not these wishy washy women who cant change a light bulb without calling their male neighbour. There are very few things that a man can do that I cannot do. it doesnt mean that I will do them everyday, but when push comes to shove, I can rise up to the challenge and that is what I am saying here.

chaircover:

. . and how many youth corpers can afford to pay N5000 on a pot of soup?
I know what I am talking about
You are comparing pick up phone & call Dominoes pizza with a youth corper being fed by a village girl becasue he doesnt know how to light his own stove.

there's a mammy market in NYSC camps jor. boys learn to survive by any means possible - agege bread & agoyin beans are not extinct. besides that, there's always a God-sent female willing to cook for the boys. i had an unlimited number of them in the uni.

its better that you train both you male and female children to be self sufficient, and strong, cos you never know where they may find themselves one day.

in principle, you are very correct but i just don't see how food making is necessary for the boys. if they are hungry, they can always buy food anywhere. it saves time & time is money(for the men).

Sambarry is a female and she drove herself from Ibadan to lagos arriving home at 11pm. That is a strong woman, not these wishy washy women who cant change a light bulb without calling their male neighbour.

there's nothing strong about driving from ibadan to lagos. she didn't trek, she drove! i could do that at age 15.

There are very few things that a man can do that I cannot do. it doesnt mean that I will do them everyday, but when push comes to shove, I can rise up to the challenge and that is what I am saying here.

nah, you can't carry heavy objects. it's not because you don't know how to carry them but you don't have the strength to carry them. that's just biology.

crackhaus:
unfortunately that's the way it's gonna be for a very long time.

As plain as broad daylight. I just hear of it being said, but it being applied is a whole different ball game. Anywhere something of this nature happens is out of the ordinary.

My man, another mistake people make which you also unknowingly did, is ascribing this way of life to Africans - it is a universal thing.

Now that you mentioned it, I'm trying to figure out where I've come across such being a norm in my encounters with foreign culture. None comes to mind.

coogar:

nah, you can't carry heavy objects. it's not because you don't know how to carry them but you don't have the strength to carry them. that's just biology.

Hahaaa.. But for 14 years on the wrong side of Kirikiri, I'ld have invited you over for a date and planted a huge kiss on your..err..forehead, I guess.

That's how I love the truth.. Plain, simple and brash.

soonest:

But you want your wife to work,earn salary and give you

Nah.. One of the lessons I picked up along the way is not to be dependent on my woman for any reason.
If at all it has to be, it will be the other way round. I may or may not show interest in how she spends her cash, but enforcing my rule upon her earnings is way off mark.

I'm an entrepreneur. If I had a dollar for every time a woman has said to me, 'while you are doing your thinking and planning you can be doing this or that' I'd have enough money to start something.

Women today don't appear to know how a man's brain works. Apart from a singularity of focus, there is also a psyche issue. Each man has a self-image. Once it is compromised all of his potentials are severely threatened. That is the reason men are stubborn about what they will do and what they will not do.

Hate manly pride all you might but it is what makes a man a man. A man must prove himself. And he's most at home with physical or visible challenges. It is only healthy to train the little man to become a man. Unless you've a reason for wanting sissies.

Men should be able to appreciate what women go through to give them homes that they can rest in after a hard fight out there. That should be all their interaction with domestic chores should be limited ti.

DesChyko:


Nah.. One of the lessons I picked up along the way is not to be dependent on my woman for any reason.
If at all it has to be, it will be the other way round. I may or may not show interest in how she spends her cash, but enforcing my rule upon her earnings is way off mark.

Good then. The one i hate most is men that claim headship up and down, who are couch potatoes preaching 50-50 financial responsibility from their wives. Some are even dependent on their wives and yet their ego is as big as something else.

My Son is learning how to take care of himself by fire by force..He is just 2 and I already give him a brush to sweep food he spills off the table when he eats (obviously I have to sweep it again but I have my reasons ) His sister is not his maid.

To be honest though, cleaning after yourself is more important to me than cooking in a man.I could never have coped with a man like my Dad in that dept ( thankfully my mum had a surplus of domestic help so she sef no fit complain).One can always buy food but having to always pick up boxers and wet towels every where grrrrrrr

And like CC said I can do most of these 'manly' chores if push comes to shove. .changing a light bulb is sooo easy I wonder why people make a big fuss about it I would rather change a light bulb than cook moi moi from scratch

The other day hubby was away I bled the radiator in our room myself thank God for B&Q website.I used to wash cars,change the 'phase', put on the generator (not the key one) amongst other manly chores.

DesChyko:
My father made a point of making sure I leave the 'women' things to the women.
From a very young age, I was taught to stay away from the kitchen and 'sissy' chores. He encouraged me to go struggle for it out there instead, academics and otherwise.
When I got admission into the Uni, I learnt how to cook and all that, but the lesson has been ingrained. My son will tow this path as well.
I see 'females' opposing this stance. I was never taught all these, but I can do them now without losing any bit of my formative years in the past.

My parents taught me all the chores, including the so called heavy work in the house. Iwas so good at wiring electronics and building furniture, and cooking became more and more boring to me. I ended up finding my passion in technology and electronics. Sure I can cook, but that's something you have to do for essential. If I wasn't given the chance to explore other things, I wouldn't have found my God given talent. Most of the famous and richest chefs in the world are males. You can be blocking your son from his calling, blessing and more.

vivalableue:


My parents taught me all the chores, including the so called heavy work in the house. Iwas so good at wiring electronics and building furniture, and cooking became more and more boring to me. I ended up finding my passion in technology and electronics. Sure I can cook, but that's something you have to do for essential. If I wasn't given the chance to explore other things, I wouldn't have found my God given talent. Most of the famous and richest chefs in the world are males. You can be blocking your son from his calling, blessing and more.

tel him..

vivalableue:


My parents taught me all the chores, including the so called heavy work in the house. Iwas so good at wiring electronics and building furniture, and cooking became more and more boring to me. I ended up finding my passion in technology and electronics. Sure I can cook, but that's something you have to do for essential. If I wasn't given the chance to explore other things, I wouldn't have found my God given talent. Most of the famous and richest chefs in the world are males. You can be blocking your son from his calling, blessing and more.

You know what; you are absolutely right!
Some of the best bakers, chefs, hairdressers and midwives sef are men
I wonder what Tosan cakes would have done if he wasnt a baker!
Ainsley Harriett, jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsey et al are all male.
My 2 hairdressers in Ibadan are male. When they do twist hennnnn

Dami tell me about it o! There are a few things that I cant do. Is it everything you will be calling your neighbour for?

chaircover:


You know what; you are absolutely right!
Some of the best bakers, chefs, hairdressers and midwives sef are men
I wonder what Tosan cakes would have done if he wasnt a baker!
Ainsley Harriett, jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsey et al are all male.
My 2 hairdressers in Ibadan are male. When they do twist hennnnn

Dami tell me about it o! There are a few things that I cant do. Is it everything you will be calling your neighbour for?

all my hair stylists in owerri are men. Except the girl that braids my hair. The big name beauty shops are now run by men . The men have taken over what used to be a female dominated industry. My native-dress maker is a man. Reality is quite different from Internet.

There is this popular guys saloonists in my school then. After school, they will stop at d market to join their mum in plaiting hair. All boys. Mum still plaits o but this guys hv taken it to another level.
See booking, see big chicks, see their rides. B4 I left, see duplex. And they can swag. Inyanga na their second name but they r very good.
And omo, see gals fighting to win them over!
Umu nwanyi kwenu!

tmosco:
Most girls just like to deceive themselves.why should a man do house chores when he is married.he can help in buying food stuff and helping out once in a while even d first woman in d land of plenty was still gathering food for her family. A boy child should learn because his mother needs help not because he should b cooking for his family.

Girls are supposed to cook for the family, not boys.

If no girls are there, then boys can do it.



Unless the boy has a cooking business or is making money from doing chores, its not supposed to be considered rote for them.

Overseas may be different because everyone is tired and need more help about the house.

I'll love to rephrase a section of that representation which you may have unintentionally overlooked

3. Consistently learning new ways and exploring the unknown in search of what they need, even if they present strong personalities already.

That above is one of the qualities of the orthodox 'man' we speak of.

Talk of the minority few, men have a predominant disposition. It obviously isn't the 'dream quality' of the man these opposition speak of.

These cooks, stylists and all others you mention are people doing things out of the ordinary, just like female vehicle experts and the rest. It certainly cannot speak for the bulk of manhood because majority of us would frown at these. As you can see, that is a feminine world you're speaking of.

And of those in such professions, I can adequately alienate those who're in that profession due to circumstances from those in it for the love of it. Note that had circumstances been ordinary, they'ld rather be doing something else.

coogar:


i wasn't taught all that & i don't think i missed anything. i was only interested in doing what men normally do. help in installation of gadgets or heavy equipments, wash & warm the car, mow the lawn, fuel & service the generator. my sisters took care of the feminine chores. that's their job!

No mind them. Should we now say that the girls are lazy if then don't know how to change tyres, service generator etc? Its a plus if she can do all these stuffs and same for a boy who can do kitchen chores.

There is no way in hell my girls would be running around to cater for the needs in the house and my boys would be relaxing. That era is overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! That is how they grow up to be egotistic, overgrown babies demanding 'woman, where is my food' ready to frustrate whoever they married.

Africa is a deeply patriarchal society. Men dominate the socio-economic and political machinery and organizations. Men are regarded as natural leaders who are superior and born to rule over women. Women are considered weaker vessels; extensions of men and secondary human beings. The pride of women are derived from and dependent on men.

Where are those weak women again that pride themselves as inferior vessels?

The first stage of inculcating the sense of responsibilty in a child is house work. I will guide my sons and daughters in that path.