Its so funny, I still do the lapping thing

@ O.P,

You r jobless

emusmith:

So, this guy just came was giving heaven and earth reasons why he wouldn't go and sit at the back seat.
I was like, hah, before 7AM meet me here and the crowd come be like Mile 2 market for Lagos.

Only to see who dey front seat: one pretty, chocolate and a bit mature Secondary School girl... haha, no wonder!

She too understand, she close up!


That led me to put up this article:

19 FUNNY THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN A TAXI.

1. The guy sitting in the front seat (in a cold or normal day) expecting and praying that at least a lady comes to manage the front seat with him.
Then comes a guy, mtchew! Him go just like, NOT AGAIN!

2. The lady at the back (just because she dresses like Nicky Minaj) begins to form, "I don't care who's by my side" by covering both ears with earpiece and singing passionately under her breath.
The guy there will be like, What is wrong with you?

3. The business man answering a call and leaving it on speaker. Ogbeni, we nor understand your language!

4.The Two sisters (7 years and 5 years respectively) "lapping" themselves in that tight corner ( Money Saving Strategy). If e pain you, pay for them...lol

5. The coded guy in the midst of two girls trying to adjust his body and hands seriously searching for which bosom to rest his weary back on (after a busy day at work) LOL!

6. The coded girl who just says, "Driver, this your seat tight, nor be small o" as she raises her hand over and around the guys neck; incoherently saying, Your prayers have been answered.
Lol

7. The Aboki who comes in to sit close to you and you begin to wonder, "Did this man just leave the abattoir without taking a shower?
You need faith to say to yourself, IJEOMA!


8. The aged man whom at every traffic or pot hole begins to pull down GEJ government, looking at you and expecting to comment. Iffa hear!
Make him mouth come dey smell join! I'm not politically inclined!

9. The Oga Driver who carefully and masterfully arranges his mirror to be sampling a nude.ly-dressed gurl sitting close to you.

10. The troublesome lady who enters the taxi with #1000 Naira note on a Monday morning even when the driver echoed it loud and clear, "Enter With Your Change O!"

11. The guy who pays for a girl he doesn't know just because of her looks.
Hoping he (Jack) will see her (Rose) again in a more comfortable environment.
Na movie we dey act?

12. The girl who keeps staring relentlessly at you from the side...and just when summon courage to strike a convo, she replies as if she just met a loser or probably a cheat!
Some girls share!

13. The awkward moment when the girl whom at first didn't want to properly adjust her hands (knowing that the only option is to place her hand around your neck...) but later does it, but then, you're close to your junction. lol!
I heard some crazy guys go as far as the last bus stop because of this "Cooling Effect" / AC...LOL

14. The man who enters the taxi with a torn money and replies the driver after being confronted, "I nor collect am from somebody?"
Story for the gods!

15. The food seller (mama Caro) who keeps her food in the booth but keeps the bucket of FRIED FISH with her. hmm!

Make e come be say DAT day, son of man dey fast!
Hunger go carry your belle play chess.

16. The "unknown" passenger who farts in the car. #silentmess#
Driver needs to stop the car before the mess evolve into flames!

Do people still do vhat? Gush! I feel like throwing up already!
#winks#

17. The woman who wants to lap three children on one space oo, waiting for that "lucky" passenger, You, to come help her lap the smallest baby.

This ain't bad. # Ellen says, Be kind to one another

18. The Police, military or paramilitary man who enters and exits the taxi without at least saying a Thank You.

Na gun dem dey take buy motor na you never buy one.
(I witnessed this one)
I laffed to scorn.
The police is your friend, ke!

19. YOU...reading this...that would bring out your phone, i- pad or even book (inside six minutes journey) dey form Einstein or Rich boy just because... The opposite sex dey inside that taxi...lol

You will be making uncalled-for and unnecessary calls just to pass a message to the opposite sex that you've got good accent and that you're lively to hang out with, otherwise you won't be laffing on phone that way...lol


You can also add your own experiences.

Zakkyoz:
The mobile pastors that will briefly preach and then collect tithe and offering as if the bus na church. Those guys dey hammer on a per second billing.

True words my guy

emusmith:


I laugh and laugh. and laugh!

hahaha as I no fit enter the butt, mk my knee day enjoy

mobuch:
@ O.P,

You r jobless

I see that as a compliment!

lordfalcao:
hahaha as I no fit enter the butt, mk my knee day enjoy

When I been dey Lagos for those Danfos, e been dey common...

Karleb:
Nice thread!

I Just have to Quote this.
Bro, You are a Man and a Brother!!

I've got Your Back, ANY Day, ANY Time!.

naijaboiy:
Well,,this doesn't happen here in france

ole,i still c u for iya basira pap n akara joint just now

Zakkyoz:
The mobile pastors that will briefly preach and then collect tithe and offering as if the bus na church. Those guys dey hammer on a per second billing.

only a fo*l would offer them any money.

dedons:
What about those with smelling armpit

the extra large christain mother hand, wit sweat and dirt, wearing sleaveless, that wil not adjust, rather they will be rubbing u sweat and dirting ur cloth. Most time if God no help u they fart eeh, u are finish

The most annoying one was sitting comfortably in a taxi, only for the driver to pick a mechanic with greasy uniform to ruin your day. I don't know if they still pick up mechanics like that

Natasha2:
Its so funny, I still do the lapping thing

As big as you are?

Godsbaby1:
the extra large christain mother hand, wit sweat and dirt, wearing sleaveless, that wil not adjust, rather they will be rubbing u sweat and dirting ur cloth. Most time if God no help u they fart eeh, u are finish

*faints* It so annoying especially if your putting on a white clothing

I don't know what's a Taxi, I school in France.

emusmith:


When I been dey Lagos for those Danfos, e been dey common...

move your thread to romance

Richy4:
The most annoying one was sitting comfortably in a taxi, only for the driver to pick a mechanic with greasy uniform to ruin your day. I don't know if they still pick up mechanics like that

Them dey carry retard men sef, as long as him pay before boarding...

emusmith:

As big as you are?

Hahaha lol yes na, which kain space my tiny sister wan occupy?? My thighs are good enough, #team one sit two people

lordfalcao:
move your thread to romance

That was where it was...I guess an "invisible hand" brought it to Joke Section! #moves face away#

I guess it is more of A Joke, don't you think?

Highflyer3:
Sitting in the midst of two chubby women uncomfortably and the bus conductor yelled "Na five five per seat o"

Oboy na dis one dey fear me pass.
Thank God i have gotten a visa to canada

more of what will be in romance

ignis:
I don't know what's a Taxi, I school in France.

It is called Un taxi #using my French accent#

lordfalcao:
more of what will be in romance

On Point!

Natasha2:

Hahaha lol yes na, which kain space my tiny sister wan occupy?? My thighs are good enough, #team one sit two people

"thighs good enough #

Evil thought, I bind you and cast you IJN!

Heheh.@op ... U be correct niqqa,... U just read my mind...and am awalys guilty of number 19 ,on my way frm enugu to owerri

Guy u ve said it all...........I just sidon here dey laugh like jacky im guilty of some of dem

emusmith:


"thighs good enough #

Evil thought, I bind you and cast you IJN!

Lol I bind your binding

Natasha2:

Lol I bind your binding

bring your hands let's bind together...

she brings her smooth-skinned hands.
.

current flows...

I bind your hands!

laugh wan kill me here.

lol...I go like to know which onesss you dey guilty of, bro

DrJoe1:
.

Pretty Cassandra with all the available gadgets enters the bus...

She was told, Dr. Joe kept the space and he went across the road to buy kunu..

Cassandra takes his place (notwithstanding) and that is the last car. he is late to work already.
.

Dr. Joe, what will you do?

You guys forgot the ones that will enter a bus and asks you to give them 20naira to complete there money...

lol