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My Husband Is Flirting.... by lifenocks: 12:11pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Below is a conversation I saw on my husband's phone with a girl he once asked out, which he claimed that d said lady didn't date him. He told her he is always picturing her face everyday and she is d wife he never had. I confronted him and he says that d conversation meant nothing and apologised. And also said if he knew the conversation would make me angry he would ve deleted it from his phone. But my point hear is dat he is flirting he has cheated on me about twice that i am aware of and it looks as if he won't stop. I need maturity advice. Is the the above statement just a mere conversation or is there more to it. Thanks. |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by mutter(f): 12:20pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
IF your husband is fliring it means he is looking for something he is not getting home. You can`t change your husband but you can change you. Go into yourself and check what you are doing wrong or omitting to do. Start working on your marriage. Getting a husband is not hard but the biggest challange is keeping a happy home. Yo need to keep the live alive and kindle the fire every day. STOP snooping around. His Tel. is not your biz. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by SAMBARRY: 12:30pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Smh. Hiaannnm 3 Likes 1 Share
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Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by bellong: 12:45pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
It is not a mere conversation. When opportunity presents itself, he is going to cheat if he is yet to. Now, the question is, what are your plans? What can you do to stop him from plunging further into that abyss? |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by rolled: 12:48pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Some people nor just get sense at all So a man cheats because he lacks something at home? Holy christ If a wife is slim,they will cheat on you with a fat chick,if wife is fat,they cheat with a slim chick Can wifey be fat and slim at the same time 28 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by Nobody: 12:56pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
rolled: 20 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by Nobody: 1:00pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
rolled: so are you telling us that mutter no get sense opoko! *throws mat on the floor* 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by Nobody: 1:14pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Mutter not in all cases please!. Some men/women just cheat and thats all to it. No good reason. No one is a perfect partner, so we all have reasons to cheat if we want to . . . .the ones that dont cheat, choose not to; its not for lack of reasons. There is always someone more beautiful, richer, taller, slimmer, fewer packed, educated, better behaved, fatter, . . . . . . The list goes on. @poster, if he has cheated before, then this is another signal. I dont think he understands what it really takes to be married; the deep emotional involvment, character and behaviours that are required. However, you know him better than anyone else here. So You will know how to get accross to him and how to talk to his inner ear in a way that he will totally understand you and also aware of the damage that he is causing by his actions. 6 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by edwife(f): 1:22pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Chillisauce: See this aproko,let me join you 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by coogar: 1:24pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
lifenocks: flirting isn't cheating! he's just saying what the other woman wants to hear. if we isolate this incident on its own, you have nothing to worry about.... then, you mentioned the fact that he's cheated on you twice before.....if this is really true then a pattern seems to emerge & the flirting incident becomes something to bother about. did he really cheat twice - he admitted to it & was remorseful or it's just your intuition & imagination getting the best of you? i will like to hear about the incidents to be sure. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by lifenocks: 1:27pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
@mutter i totally disagree with u because there is absolutely nothing he lacks at home. I just can't understand y a man wld want to loose d peace in his home over such issues as this. |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by coogar: 1:29pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
lifenocks: how do you know he lacks nothing at home? men, for what they are, rarely complain. they bottle their feelings so as not to hurt your fragile ego. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by lifenocks: 1:36pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
@coogar he even admitted to me dat he had not been faithful in d past but promised he wld never cheat on me again. D real number he didn't tell me, but d ones I know is two. |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by coogar: 1:38pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
lifenocks: ahaaaa..... so he's a serial cheat? what's the attraction then? how did you end up with him? don't tell me you never noticed this behaviour in him while dating..... 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by edwife(f): 1:41pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
lifenocks: Did he tell you why does he have to look the other way? What are his excuses for cheating on you? |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by Wendy80(f): 1:54pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
coogar:Communication is key. Bottling feelings isn't d best cos it will only make them drift apart slowly. I'm not saying that's why he's flirting o. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by onegig(m): 3:18pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
mutter: To think a woman just typed this. Smh. So it's her duty to keep her eyes off ? If he didn't do any wrong, she wont need to keep snopping around. You are one of those who take nonsense and make men feel they are invicisible and continue all sorts of rubbish. She should start working on her marriage? . Where in the world does it take a single partner to make a marriage a success? What happened to the man keeping to his vows ? 20 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by Nobody: 3:36pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
coogar: Fishbrain So its when she finds out that he is cheating, becasue he didnt let wifey know the things that were bugging him; giving them an oppourtunity to work on the issues together, that her "fragile ego" wont be hurt abi? 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by mutter(f): 3:41pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Wendy80: Yes a woman typed this! To advice another woman. Firstly marriage is based on trust! Do you think you can control a partner? He can have twenty phones if he wished to. He could change his number ever so often. You have absolutely no chance. Most times you only find out what the man wants you to find out or what he doesn`t give a damn if you find out. A marriage is based on trust and respect. You have to respect your husband and trust him enough not to snoop after him. How can you respect someone or have regard for him if you have to invade his privacy and snoop after him. And secondly where is your pride and dignity that you feel so insecure to have to do this. I am one of those women that say my husband is the boss because I say he is. My husband has all rights over me because I gave him those rights as a sign of my love and respect for him as my husband. I handed him over his authority over me freely whenever had to fight for it so he knows the source of his authority. He knows he got it from me, I am his king maker in our Kingdom so why should he abuse the authority when he knows the source? I don`t want to brag but there is nothing he would not do for me as long as it is a reasonable request. That is because he feels good when I ask and he feels even better when I appreciate. @ Chaircover, we know that there are some sad exceptions but they are exceptions. Please let us tell these young women the truth. She should check what the man is missing at home. Her write ups show some sort of contradiction. @ Poster I have seen loads of women in my life who brag outside and at home are crawling on their knees. As I said, don`t be deceived! Most women take real hard stuff at home and come outside to act like they are in control. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by coogar: 3:51pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
chaircover: he's past caring about working on the issues. he must have given up that nothing can be done to fix issues & he's chosen his path(if he perishes then he perishes). ask yourself why a man continues to cheat even after getting caught twice.....the ship of working to fix issues has already sailed. the OP is just assuming the hubby lacks nothing - if he lacks nothing, he won't be out there cheating. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by onegig(m): 4:01pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
mutter:You are entitled to your opinions but truth is even if you do everything possible. Lie down flat, perform the best action in bed, be submissive and all that. Some men would still go ahead and cheat. It is not ideal to accuse the victim of not doing enough because reality points to the contrary. The man who couldn't put his fly under control should take responsibility for his actions and take the blame. Also, trust is being evaluated daily and every second. There is nothing like blind trust. benefit of doubt you may say. But complete wholesome trust is BS. If he does something suspicious, it is only natural for you to ask for clarifications. 11 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by Kimoni: 4:08pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
@ mutter - your thinking is very flawed I must confess. A man flirting or cheating does not mean he is unhappy or there is something deficient at home. A cheating partner will still go ahead regardless of the state of his or her home. Most times, it has little or nothing to do with the non-cheating spouse. The cheating person is either a serial cheat or an opportunistic cheat. Where does the non cheating partner comes in here? And in those exceptional cases you mentioned, what happened to communication and other means of resolving issues at home? Talking about trust, what is trust built on? How do you trust someone who has let you down once, how much more severally? In advising young married women like you say in extra marital issues, the first thing any counsellor will tell you is that it is never the other party's fault if the spouse go ahead and cheat. Heaping the blame on one partner is a very wicked and devilish thing to do. God has given us all the gift of freewill and what we do with that freewill is entirely our responsibility. And that is where any true reconciliation will start from - taking responsibility for your actions! 11 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by mutter(f): 4:08pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
onegig: I did say that there are exceptions to the rule but you know what- Most women know already that they are dating a womaniser and go ahead and marry him hoping to change him. When you get married to a man and you know he throws his net in many ponds, do you think he will stop going to the other ponds because he has drawn out the net in your pond? You got what you purshased. Again to this there are exceptions. No not blind trust, you need to evaluate and the rest but you don`t need to go snooping around, that is humilating yourself and breeching his privacy. I have enough dignity to know my value . 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by coogar: 4:13pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
i dunno why you people misunderstood what mutter was trying to say. all she said was - sometimes the signs are there for the female during courtship but they still forge ahead to marry a serial womaniser. some women married the guy they stole from another chic - and they expect him to remain faithful. if he was unfaithful to his ex, why should he be faithful to you? if a man was cheating before marriage to a woman's knowledge and she still decided to marry him then she shouldn't complain. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by torchwave: 4:16pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Op, the most important thing is y u got married to him in d first place. Did u marry 4 love? I believe ur love was blind then. How come ur love can see now? I give up on girls. Their marital tales of woes is just pathetic. Sometimes I wonder y they complain when they chose to walk into a trap called marriage wit eyes blindfolded by love. Op, not judging u bt ur experience is related to many many others I've read nd that's d reason 4 my comment. Wot to do? Pray hard. I dnt knw wot else to tell u. Love him inspite of his faults. We are imperfect creatures. Sighs. |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by Nobody: 4:30pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
onegig: edwife oya o 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by Nobody: 4:34pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
coogar: [img]http://4.bp..com/-Rzt5S0P-hhU/T_IJ7wefxuI/AAAAAAAAAUY/CBqvaj-ELT8/s1600/bf2xO.gif[/img] 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by diphena: 4:34pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
SAMBARRY:Nice 1" SAMBARRY"really truer] |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by onegig(m): 4:36pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
mutter:I am all for doing your due diligence before marriage but I like issues to be taken case by case. I can't recall the woman here saying her husband is a womaniser or something. Even if he is before marriage there's what they call vows. He made the vows. I have never seen a woman put a gun to a man's head and led him to the altar. He knew what he was signing up for. It's either he learns to be responsible or continue being a bachelor and doing whatever he likes. That's me being secular. We haven't even looked at the religious implication, what about STDs and other things connected to such a lifestyle? If he is not satisfied with what she's doing, talk to her about it and if she doesn't change after repeated talks and interventions. Learn to live with it or Divorce is always an option. Though a difficult one but a responsible one than sleeping around. As for snooping around. What you consider privacy may be something open for someone else. I don't even share the idea of keeping secrets. There's nothing like privacy between couples. 2 becomes 1 and this is in all acts. 11 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by mutter(f): 4:47pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
onegig: To her husband being a womanizer I quote @coogar he even admitted to me dat he had not been faithful in d past but promised he wld never cheat on me again. D real number he didn't tell me, but d ones I know is two. Exactly because of the vows and things like STD a woman should marry the right partner. When you focus your priority on material or other things rather than the character and decency of the partner, do you expect the devil to become an angel overnight because you married him? As regards the privacy- as long as you go looking into things you cannot do in the presence of the partner you are snooping. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by iyaakanran: 4:54pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
What privacy are you talking about in Marriage?snooping is allowed o mutter: 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Flirting.... by coogar: 4:57pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
iyaakanran: snooping isn't allowed! snooping is simply lack of trust, if you have to snoop to keep your partner in check then you must have married the wrong partner. 1 Like |
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