Onemansquad:

tears him hot knock on his head


i say 1 bottle u gv me carton u wnt kil me shey


*remuvs a bottle and hands over d carton to him*

chuks87:

*scrathes head.. datz for u n ur squad members nah......

Onemansquad:

ah say 1 bottle

chuks87:
This is to Notify y'all that Queennelly have been banned and wouldnt b able to post an update. her ban expires runs till 6:51pm dec 7th. thank you

chuks87:

*handles him a cartoon of bacardi*

chuks87:
This is to Notify y'all that Queennelly have been banned and wouldnt b able to post an update. her ban expires runs till 6:51pm dec 7th. thank you

repogirl:
Congrats on hitting FP, I guess that solidifies your stance as a super writer on NL.
Peju


your writing has promise, if you can only develop your characters better and not rely so heavily on conversation.

Also, it seems the story is moving at an unrealistic pace and that's making it quite unbelievable, take time out to map out a nice believable plot and work a bit more on the setting.

I see your characters aren't African, well that's okay,but its better to write about what you're familiar with. If you're gonna make your characters from another race, do not describe just the eyes, lets have a full description so we can envision them in our minds eye.

Also, take out the brackets, not nice.

Finally, find your voice, make the story your own, make it original.

Alright you asked for candid comments and you got mine.

Good job so far, an interesting story, I'm a sucker for romance stories anyway so keep up the good work and also work on making improvements.

marquiseT:
Haave not finished reading,I just to book space so I can read later but I don't no if any one has mentioned that the setting for the story is not typical nigerian nor the storyline what u experience here


Brillant and constitent writeup by the way....I won't mind a bottle of zobo too

stuff46:
wow wow wow, i never saw this coming so soon. Congrats nelly

KingEbukasBlog:
good story

juddy263:
Wow dis really interesting can't wait 4 update I 2 have a lover nxt door

prettydiva89:
wow love this story

lexaydfg:
wow! ds is interesting, it as if am seeing a movie

nyc writeup queen, kudos 2 u

chuks87:
wao... getting more interesting...

*walks in with bottles of Zobo drinks*

distributing drinks with used water bottles without labels?? nafdac dg must hear this

Nmeri17:


distributing drinks with used water bottles without labels?? nafdac dg must hear this

repogirl:
she will be unbanned soon, I just contacted a mod, so she should take note.

Queennelly:
Nmeri17

lol.....my imagination oooooo. but i clarified that as lust ..the love there is the decision she made or will make

Queennelly:
Quatermaine thanks
I started the story portraying Hannah as someone who doesnt believe in love then she met Joe and started having feelings. now the case study is the meaning of what she feels. its it lust or love. if lust we know it has no future. if love responsibility, concern, trust will surface. that's why Joe's family should always come first in all her decision. if you love u are bound to make sacrificial decisions not just to satisfy ur sexual desires. ...

what do you think?