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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. (16477 Views)
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Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by hero10(m): 8:23am On Dec 08, 2014 |
na dem dey bad pass |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by wisefizz(m): 8:23am On Dec 08, 2014 |
booked |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by onadana: 8:28am On Dec 08, 2014 |
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Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by treasuress: 8:28am On Dec 08, 2014 |
when you become matured, like me, yesterday my guys were hanging out my mum was not that fine , i didnt go cos i did not want her to worry, thats maturity, in my younger days i wont care, so my mum trust i can make decisions for myself |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 8:35am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Me that has a curfew of 9pm. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Acidosis(m): 8:37am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Ezibless:Yes dear |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Slickest(m): 8:39am On Dec 08, 2014 |
What I did was I made sure I forced the distance, nd I needed to show dem I was old enough to tk care of ma slf (apart from d finance sha)...after my bsc I made sure I served in lagos, way far away from dem... Nd sinz den...its bin ![]() ![]() |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by iykofias(m): 8:41am On Dec 08, 2014 |
@op, u no kno sey if boy touch u u go carri belle eh? |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by That2: 8:41am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Don't worry when you are 30 am no husband she would start chasing you out of the house, She will be the one bothering you to go out more often. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by spiceemman(m): 8:45am On Dec 08, 2014 |
You should be glad you've got a mom that's concerned about your whereabout dear. Some people become very sad in their latter lives because they didn't have parent(mom) who were concerned about them, who wanna be involved in their lives regarding the places they go to. Sometimes our parents can see things(trust me) we don't see even if we stood on a mountain. Sometimes we gotta do things for our parents after the years of sacrifice and investement they've done for us. No wise parent would sit, fold their hands unperturbed by their kids going to the North with the current security states. That said you're a 22-year old lady and at this point you've got to be on the driver's seat of your life. You're old enough to make certain(if not entirely all) decisions that affect your life. Parents can sometimes take decisions that favours them and them alone but they do see it in their eyes as the bigger good for the family. Conclusively, do what makes you happy but don't neglect the happiness of the people that have made you come this far. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by tintingz(m): 8:46am On Dec 08, 2014 |
[size=14pt]Because she knows how WICKED boys are. ![]() They are like night crawlers [/size] |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by yungryce: 8:49am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Take dis advice at ur own detriment. on d said day, jst get dressed and go. if questioned, jst say u are going out wen u come bck, u can now hv dat matured convo with ur pple. i bet u, next time, dey will trust u to make d right choices cuz if not .... 2 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by yungryce: 8:51am On Dec 08, 2014 |
kennygee:start breaking dat curfew jor |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by iykofias(m): 8:52am On Dec 08, 2014 |
donodion:nna eh see ds guy o, mak she inbox u for wetin again? Abi u wan speak to ha mama? 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Rhozabeth(m): 8:52am On Dec 08, 2014 |
You will need to have a heart to heart talk with your mum! You will sit her down and start asking her questions and you should be the one doing the talking and don't let her shut u up! Pls am not saying u should disrespect ur mum o! Just begin to remind her of the way she brought u up, then let her know that throughout your stay in school u had the freedom to mess around but u did not just because of the way she brought u up let her know that you are not going to start messing around now! Ask her if she has ever heard any negative thing about you in the neighborhood or in school, let her know it is because of the way she brought u up! I can assure you she will ease off gradually! Mind u even if u become 40 years old you are still a baby to ur mother and she will not stop treating you as one! In my own opinion if parents have brought up their children well when they are 21yrs they should no longer be treated as babies and protected unnecessarily! If you can conquer your mum this way, you have also conquered ur dad! Good luck. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 8:53am On Dec 08, 2014 |
yungryce: I no fit now. There are times i close from work and i will start getting calls form Mum immediately. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by udbyron1(m): 8:56am On Dec 08, 2014 |
restricting a female child no be idea at all at all.....cause the day en go get 2 seconds freedom ehhhh......u know the rest |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by pak: 8:58am On Dec 08, 2014 |
@OP, I won't type my advice here because it would be seen as bad advice. but bottom line is you're 22 and a full fledged adult. The only reason why you're still dependent on your parents is in all likelihood financial. I do not think they should take undue advantage of that. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by arabbunkum: 8:58am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Blessing, please we need to talk. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by yungryce: 9:01am On Dec 08, 2014 |
kennygee:u are working n u still hv a curfew? 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by tenry(m): 9:01am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Ezibless: Baby girl, pls don't listen to stillfire or what did he call himself. How on earth will someone advcie you to struggle with your parents just because they want the best for you. My sister, you won't understand their protection until u become a parent too. My little princess who is still very young get the best protection from me to the extent that I don't respond to jokes from people about marrying her to their sons. You hav exercised patience till now,you hav few years to spend with them. At the appropriate time, whc ll soon come, u ll enjoy your freedom and trust me, you ll appreciate your mum then. Do not listen to dose wrong councel to raise your voice at your parent or use kinda force to let yourself loose. In fact u ar not under any bondage but enjoying care and protection. You ll be fine sister. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 9:01am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Acidosis: Oya,lets hear it |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 9:03am On Dec 08, 2014 |
tenry: Thanks a million! |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by MizRachel(f): 9:09am On Dec 08, 2014 |
aarabbunkum:All these 'talkings' that you pple are doing.. Diariss God ooo! Chai |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by fpeter(f): 9:11am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Choi! I remember those days my mum would have me and my sister watch the carnival from our balcony ![]() The annoying thing was that all our friends and even little kids from the neighborhood would be there o Even during festive seasons my mum would still ask us to stay at the balcony and watch merrymakers from there, it was so embarrassing and then i would ask why i couldn't be the one in the streets being watched by people also from their balconies....I feel you girl just prayerfully tell her that you're now an adult. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by yetseyi(f): 9:15am On Dec 08, 2014 |
OP try to get ur mum's permission, mothers can be so protective @ times and I dont blame them. Since u re in the north her fear may be from the security situation and the fact that you re going to a christain gathering can further fuel the fear. But if she says you should not go please dont. Call your friends and apologise . I strongly believe its security issue thats making her a big reluctant. Do not think just because u re 22 your mum doesnt have a say . |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Pamcrest(f): 9:27am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Op, I understand your plight...my mum was like that. My saving grace was my dad who, though he doted on me as his only daughter, yet he gave me free rein to come n go as I pleased. It was his level of trust in my ability to always do d right thing, he tells me often that he knows he brought up his children well. However I join your mum to say No to this trip....is it not to d North? With the insecurity level around that area pls scrap this trip. But try and secure your mum's trust, that's d only way u can break free from her apron strings. I do tell parents that they need some balance with these restrictions because I have seen cases where it became counter productive. A parent needs to show trust in their wards, advise them often but allow them to be responsible n make their own mistakes, that's d way to learn fast. At a certain age, talk alone is not enough, let d child make his/her own experiences. If he falls, he learns d lesson and learns to move on! My humble submission 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 9:35am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Ezibless: Gaining freedom from parents is something one builds with time. it even more childish informing ur parents da u no more a kid. However, I have found out da parents systematically watch ur maturity as per ur actions and inactions, ur mental contributions to family and external issues. when dey ultimately get convinced abt ur mental strength, dey tend to leave u with more responsibility to handle independently. more so, dere would be numbers of time wen either dad or mum would walk inside and strike up a matured convo with u as if dey v forgotten ur age. I got independence from my parents wen I was 18 even before my other siblings. at da age, my dad was already seeking my opinions abt real issues concerning his life. I didn't wait to be reminded da I would read, I didn't wait for d jamb form to be picked for me, didn't wait to be picked to school wen I got my admission, didn't v to put a call across to dem even with d littlest issues at school, once home, washes d cars and other chores during weekends. to a point wen I face some challenges, my dad would confidently tell mum da I knew wot to do. I represent dad at times when I became 20. dey trusted my judgements, didn't v to stress to get permission anymore. on d whole, dere r things we do at times which further reinforce our immaturity to mum and dad, and hence, absolutism in dia exercise of power. bless u. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 9:37am On Dec 08, 2014 |
cos ur still very young from what I'm seeing from ur dp |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by repogirl(f): 9:47am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Well.... I guess your mom isn't used to the idea of you moving around yet. My own parents, were strict but they also gave us space, so from time, I always dey miss from house and they wouldn't even bother cos dey know I will turn up even if its by 1 am. My parents are soooo free, besides I attended skl far away from them, and they couldn't know what I was up to over there, so where was the sense in restricting my movement when at home? Anyway, I guess your mom wants you to be safe, the send forth thing to her isn't important and that's why she doesn't see why you shld travel all the way for it. As a mother, I understand her view. So, its not like she's restricting you from visiting a friend a few minutes away, she just doesn't want you travelling around for something she doesn't see as important. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Chinoble(f): 9:53am On Dec 08, 2014 |
I'm 22 too but my own case is different frm urs. My mom ve no probs, my Dad ve retired frm army/bossy kind of life(he reighned during my big sis nd bros era). My probs now is my big brothers(disadvantages of having 3 or 4 not smiling big brothers). Always afraid of them(wat dey will say nd wat dey will do) i dnt go out wit guys, dnt comment anyhow on social networks especially facebook, dnt go out like dat even @ schl(my lodge). Dnt let ppl visit me, dnt talk more dan necessary wit their friends, e.t.c. Z Not as if dey r watching my every move, but itz now second nature for me to not do anytin i knw dey will not like wether dey r dia or not. Dnt knw wen i will break away frm the spell. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by freezyprinzy(m): 9:56am On Dec 08, 2014 |
It happens u said u and mumcy are lyk 5 and 6 call her nd talk lyk paddies let her tel u her fears y shes so overprotective den u'l know wat step 2 take 4rm diya |
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