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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. (16480 Views)
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Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 10:01am On Dec 08, 2014 |
yungryce: Yes. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Emodeee: 10:07am On Dec 08, 2014 |
with all her over-protectiveness, r u still a virgin? No |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:17am On Dec 08, 2014 |
correctguy0900: Thanks dear. Nice opinion. My parents and i do have maturd conversation attimes. Infact,my dad cld tell me something mom did and wld seek my opinion in handling it or my mom once had a misunderstanding with someone and she was kinda reporting d situation to me,i had to calm her down and said some sensible tinz. So i tink in d aspect of conversation,we discuss maturly. But the thing is were yo parents also allowing yo sisters(if u have any) do kinda those travles u did wen dey wanted to? Coz i'm talking abt d parents restricting movement |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:17am On Dec 08, 2014 |
correctguy0900: Thanks dear. Nice opinion. My parents and i do have maturd conversation attimes. Infact,my dad cld tell me something mom did and wld seek my opinion in handling it or my mom once had a misunderstanding with someone and she was kinda reporting d situation to me,i had to calm her down and said some sensible tinz. So i tink in d aspect of conversation,we discuss maturly. But the thing is were yo parents also allowing yo sisters(if u have any) do kinda those travles u did wen dey wanted to? Coz i'm talking abt d parents restricting movement not just mature reasoning |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:19am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Emodeee: Guy u funny sha. U asked a question and u come answer an yoself. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:21am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Slickest: you are lucky na lol |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:24am On Dec 08, 2014 |
iykofias: Really? ![]() abeg wetin be belle? ![]() I never hear that word before o,na French? |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:25am On Dec 08, 2014 |
That2: Not my portion in Jesus name! |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:28am On Dec 08, 2014 |
spiceemman: Were u eavesdropping on our devotion this morning? ![]() The topic just centred on me eh. I'm grateful to them. Thanks! |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by JEITO: 10:28am On Dec 08, 2014 |
1. No matter how grown a child is, he/she can never outgrow their parent 2. As long as you are still under their roof, they have 100% right over you irrespective of your age or academic level. Whatever leverage you get as solely at their discretion. 3. It is the obligation of every parent to protect their children as to say you stay in the north and the school has been turned into a one-religion school, it is the more reason why they should keep a close eye on you. 4. Is their attitude towards you alone or to your other siblings also? If it is to you alone, then there's an issue of trust. Perhaps they are scared of the unknown- you can't quite trust some kids these days with all the filt on tv and internet. 5 at 22, you are still young: atleast here in Nigeria you are still a child. Forget about all these, "once you are 18, you are an adult mumbo-jumbo" 6. Call you friends and simply apologise to them, stating the reason why you can't come- you were not allowed to. As for the gift, once it has not been handed out, it is still your personal property so do whatever you want with it. But I won't advise you to go bother your folks over the matter again else they might begin to suspect you have an ulterior motive. I want us to understand how parents generally act: whatever they do, they do with good intention even though some of these decisions are needless or frustrating. No right thinking parent does anything to wicked his child just that sometimes, their methods are so crude it looks like wickedness. Mentality is also another factor influencing their actions. A lot of parent(from the other generation) believe this generation is corrupt morally and otherwise and the best way to keep their wards "safe" is to be "protective" but that doesn't always work out well because curiosity and rebellion have pushed some kids into what the folks wanted keeping them from. Religion and culture also play a big role. In the african culture, females particularly are more vulnerable and so need to be more in the safety of the home- whether their parent's home or husband's home. Also, when a single lady is independent, society view on her(through the eyes of culture and religion) are mostly in negative light. This is why most parent don't like it when their grown up single daughters, choose to live alone. They'll rather she live with them even if she is working, until she gets married. Truth is, it is the duty of parent to protect their children because they'll account for them before the society and before God. This is why they employ whatever means they feel will help achieve this(though some of these means are not cool or necessary) Finally, your parents Love you: whether they show it often or not, they do Love you. Don't ever hold grudge or get angry at your parent for any reason even if their decision was a wrong one. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by uzolexis(f): 10:30am On Dec 08, 2014 |
H |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 10:32am On Dec 08, 2014 |
My dear you have the answer already. You stay in the north and schooled there? Your school no longer admits christians? Yet you wish to go? Even if mumsy won't stop you, you need to think for your self and wisely Security situation presently is bad.I my self and I believe most of nairalanders will not go.do you actually feel that even whilst in school your mum was not full of fears for your safety? Your mum still sees you as a child because my dear you still are.she's protecting you as she would normally do to a child. Start making decisions as if you are the madam when she's not around or in her presence but make sure you are respectful.its not everything you disclose to your mum no matter what.learn to deal with things maturedly When you start behaving and acting like one she will. The risk of this is that she might make decisions for you in ur marital home as she feels you might be clue less 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:32am On Dec 08, 2014 |
yungryce: Hahahahhahahha If i do that one eh,till 2099 dem go stil dey preach ''the punishment of disobedience'' for me o ![]() Pls i can't fit shout lol ![]() |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 10:37am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Ezibless: Well Ezi (if I can call you that) I relate perfectly well with your situation. Parents often forget that they have adults on their hands and not kids. The thing is parents still see their children as that baby that was born many years ago. It doesn't matter if you are already a grandfather or a grandmother. You still remain that baby to them. So how do you deal with this? First of all I want you to note that a female at 22 is still pretty much very naive and can do with some of those restraints. It is a good thing for you. You wouldn't understand it now but in future you will. I know becos I was once there. And I was a guy for that matter. I'll tell you how I went about mine and the results that it yielded. Suffice to say, now that I am older and run my own home, I will forever remain grateful to my parents that they kept a hold of the tight leash. I could have been a little but more outgoing than I am now if they didn't but at the same time who says I couldn't have gotten into trouble. Now back to the question of dealing with this. In my own time I rebelled against my parents. I'm not proud of it but that was what I did. I would sneak out from under their noses and go have a good time. I would sneak back in and hope to God that they don't get me. Sometimes I did manage to scale through but often times I got busted. Then comes the repercussion. Believe me at 22 I still got flogged. YES!! At 22. It was humiliating. Then one day things took a turn I was 24 going 25. I went out and came back in well before dark. Lo and behold my dad was there waiting for me and the following ensued: Dad: Where are you coming from? Me: From Ikeja Dad: To do what? Me: I went to buy some components to build my computer system Dad: What Computer? Me: The one I've been working on for the past 3 weeks Dad: Have I not warned you not to step out of this house Me: Dad, perhaps you dont realize that I am now 25. I am no longer a kid. I think I deserve some breathing space to do my own things my own way. Afterall you used to tell us how you would not come home untill 11pm when you were my age. Its only 5:30 and I'm home already. Besides I wont forever remain under you roof. At this point my dad was already livid with rage. He dashed off to the closet and retrieved a Kpankere that he kept there. My siblings were shocked. They could not believe that my dad was about to flog his 25 year old son. I was shocked myself. I knew he was angry but I didn't think he would dare use the cane at that stage. I waited for him with an already prepared plan of action. As he came with the cane raised I side stepped him a little so that he missed me. While the cane came down at an angle I swiftly seized it from him and actually broke it in a rage of my own. I threw the pieces to the ground and the following ensued Me:DAD! How long do you want to carry on like this? It is utterly shameful that you would still resort to this at my age. I may be your son and I may be living under your roof, but I am not a slave in my fathers house. I deserve some respect too. If you want to kep breathing down my neck, fine, I'll leave the house. But I will not be treated in this way. Dad: You dare take away that cane from me. What were you going to do? Flog your father? Me: No Sir, you did not bring me up that way. I can never and will never raise my hand against my parents. My Mum and siblings were speechless. My Dad was livid with rage but I sensed he knew I spoke the truth. To end the long story, I was never bothered again from that time. I never really used the freedom I had earned because most times I was indoors, but I never had to worry about asking permission to go anywhere so long as I informed them where I was going and I returned in a respectable time. It cascaded down to my siblings as well. Now I'm not saying you should stand up to your parents. But a very good place to start will be to ask why they always restricted you Just start up a normal conversation with your Dad or Mum and ask why. Don't ask when you have just been turned down. Ask on an ordinary day when you dont have any need to go out. Perhaps you parents may have good reasons. And then let them know that you understand their fears but that you feel some allowance would be in order. Try that. If that doesn't work, my sister you have no choice oooo. Continue enduring. They are your parents. 3 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:37am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Rhozabeth: U deserve a cheque of 5million for this opinion. I've bookmarked this,i'l read it again before i do the discussion with her. Thanks bro |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:40am On Dec 08, 2014 |
pak: I concur! |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Emodeee: 10:40am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Ezibless: i knw xay u nor be virgin lah except u wan lie. sheee u nor knw xay na ur type dat tin dey itch pass and any available opportunity, u go utilize am sharperly sharperly. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by donodion(m): 10:41am On Dec 08, 2014 |
iykofias:Ezibless bia answer am... |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:42am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by jahbiz: 10:42am On Dec 08, 2014 |
watching carnival from balcony ke? Chai!!! Ano fit laugh. Una dey live for 7 storey building? These parents eehh. fpeter: |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 10:42am On Dec 08, 2014 |
JEITO: My dear I agree with you and by the op's narrations, her mum is loving and protective. She should thank God for this as its a blessing. but do note that a lot of parents are not. It will surprise you to know that what you assume is being protection is not.they might have selfish reasons The way some parents behave, or speak is devastating. I have come across a lot and work in an ngo presently as a volunteer. Am presently also trying to be avolunteer counsellor for teenagers.when I was discussing with one of the counsellors. If I start relating stories to you of mental abuse alone not even sexual, I swear even if you are hard, you must shed a tear. Yes, this is the ideal scenario of a good parent as you penned down but...........believe it or not most are not. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by yungryce: 10:43am On Dec 08, 2014 |
kennygee:u are on a looooong thing. i wonder wat she will say if u tell her u want to move out |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:44am On Dec 08, 2014 |
MizRachel: sweet sis,help me tell dem o lol |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:46am On Dec 08, 2014 |
fpeter: Thanks! But prayer ponits needed ASAP ![]() |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:48am On Dec 08, 2014 |
yetseyi: ![]() |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:50am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Pamcrest: And d submission's well accepted. Thanks! ![]() |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:53am On Dec 08, 2014 |
eminentme: I look younger than my age jo ![]() doesn't mean i'm still ''dat'' young na ![]() |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 10:57am On Dec 08, 2014 |
repogirl: Wow,Repogirl,i suspect it's you that put this idea in my moma's head o. That's d same thing she's just saying.....diaris God o ![]() change her mind pls na ![]() |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by jahbiz: 10:59am On Dec 08, 2014 |
arabbunkum:ezibless beware, be wise Acidosis: |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by yungryce: 11:00am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Ezibless: my maale don shout for my sister taya soote she don gif up. na mind tin jor n its obvious u dnt hv d mind & frm experience talking bout it is not going to chsnge a no to a yes. wen i choose the university i am in, i got a very strong no with d excuse dat it was too far. wen dey knw wat was happening was wen i carry bag say i dey go post ume. today, all dat is history, but things hv changed ever since then. my life, my choices, my consequencies. jst as one poster said, if u are scared to break free, u will eqully not be able to do anything with d freedom wen it is given to u. disclaimer: dis post is not in any way advicing u to go meet dem BH pple or to put urself in harms way o |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 11:02am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Chinoble: My dear,i reallt understand. Just read through the comments and replace all the ''mom'' and ''dad'' with ''bros'' and ''sis''. I pray it help. Just know that they all want the best for us. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 11:04am On Dec 08, 2014 |
freezyprinzy: I'l sure do dat |
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