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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. (16479 Views)
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Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 11:08am On Dec 08, 2014 |
yungryce: Lwkmd, she go cry no ni. But I don't see myself moving out, unless i get a job out of town tho. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 11:09am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Ezibless: mind u, parents r more often tough on females talking abt security policy sha. yes, our first daughter also gained da confidence from dad. and her opinions and travel decisions were respected. wen I used d word (matured convo), it was only part of host of other things dey based ur mental assessment before u r cut some slack as regard ur freedom. trust me, dere r ways u relate with ur mum or dad eh, she will kinda forget ur age wen u need something. for example, wen I wanted to travel, d first thing I work on during d intro hint is their fear. no parent even want her children flying on d road especially during dis Emba months. elucidate on ur objectives for going, remember dey r matured, so dey only work with reason and not just sentiment, remind her dat u v never reneged on ur promise once & so u will come back da same day. da u understand her position, u will behave dere as if she were with u. tell her u trust her judgment but again it will make u very happy to fellowship with ur friends once more. wait o, did u just say for north? her mind fit just go dey reason boko insecurity. if das her fear, wahala owa o. me self go say make u chill. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 11:09am On Dec 08, 2014 |
u hav been too obedient! dats very good though! but u gats start disobeying safely. but u might pay a lil price like, ur pocket money will be withheld for a long while but mum will later adjust to ur new ,u. take safe n calculated risks.wen u return home n she sees ur safe, she will begin to trust u ,dat ur mature to handle d wild world. she may scold u but she will cope. if u hav a safe accommodation in sch, then go. but getready for d heat! however! after d heat or rain comes sunshine. be safe. will like to know u.call me on 07034930579 |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by JEITO: 11:11am On Dec 08, 2014 |
emiraty:really ![]() You can say they are insecure or don't know how to effectively communicate their care for their children but I know the average parent, wants what is best for their own kids( some might be indifferent about other peoples children though) Like I said, their approach might not be the best and may seem cruel, but if only you can see into their intent, You'll understand with me. I can tell you that even though some parents might not love or relate with the kids the way the kids expect them to, it doesn't mean they don't Love them in the way that they could. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by yungryce: 11:15am On Dec 08, 2014 |
kennygee: mummy pikin. i guess she doesnt want those guys to dey eye u at certain times of d day but shey go slow no dey dat ur area? |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 11:16am On Dec 08, 2014 |
yungryce: No, not at all. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by UjSizzle(f): 11:18am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Ezibless:True story babe. If you want freedom, you've got to take it. I have a dad like that...he'll be happier if I spent 24hrs in my house on a weekend and restrict movement to just work. Doesn't happen though because I made it clear that I have every plan of meeting human beings outside my house ![]() Bit of friction at first ....no that's lie. LOTS of friction at first, but I set personal curfews for myself to earn his trust and over time he has come to respect that I am a woman, not a child of 5 ![]() Oh there's still the occasional, "you came home by 8pm thing lol, but I always apologize if I went to see friends. And if not I just say I was held up in traffic ![]() Point is, if you want it then you have to take it. It's easier to ask for forgiveness that to ask for permission ![]() And err bring one friend home once, let your folks meet her. If she's good, they'll trust your judgement more ![]() |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by yungryce: 11:23am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 11:26am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Nansense... my mum was also strict but, she didn't do all those. Although I love staying indoor. But, I also love making frnds, and mingle with them. I start going out boldly when I'm 17. Thats when I start going to church,joined choir, and as a senior girl in sec sch. She will want me to stay indoor buh I convince her that I am not a kid, even though I'm only 17. I don't just go out but, I do go out and she already knw the kinda girl she have. Infact, sometimes U need to lie so that you can achieve ur aim |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by JEITO: 11:28am On Dec 08, 2014 |
MICOBIN:I don't quite agree with you here. So you would advise a 21 years old to leave the house without the permission of either of the parent just to prove a point that she's matured? That is called sneaking out and matured people don't sneak out of the house. It is not compulsory that she attends. Truth is, she doesn't owe those friends of hers, her presence no matter how much she thinks she does. She is under authority and the authority has passed a verdict. Maturity will teach her to obey that verdict and even if she wants to complain about it, she should do it after the event. That shows respect for her folks. Even in the Law, You don't break rules to prove a point even else you will pay dearly for it. Sensible discussion is what make sense. Let's view it from your angle, let's say she goes on to attend without permission and unfortunately, something negative happens? Who will take responsibility for it? The fact that the parents refuse to grant her permission, yet leave the gates open, shows they trust she'll obey them. That shows they know she has attained some level of maturity. It is only a matter of time before she begins to enjoy freedom in wider areas. Nothing will happen if she doesn't attend this event, and there'll be many more events to attend so why the rush. It is only when you are faithful in little, that you'll have bigger ones committed to you. Btw, the op didn't say if this attitude is towards her only or to all her siblings(or atleast I didn't hear her say so) 2 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by maclatunji: 11:29am On Dec 08, 2014 |
I support your mother ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by repogirl(f): 11:39am On Dec 08, 2014 |
Ezibless:lol, I thought as much, the only thing you can do is to let her know how much this person means to you... And promise her u will be safe. You have been praying about it also, which is good. I hope she lets you go but if she doesn't, just accept it. Its all good anyway, your friends will just havta understand. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 11:47am On Dec 08, 2014 |
JEITO: I can agree with you but not on love aspects. Some parents have actually revealed they do not love their kids and gave reasons as to how or why they had them. It took me over 3 months to harden my heart on some cases. I was too emotional and was advised at work but now am okay. I mean its not advisable for me to be a counsellor and be crying right? I just want to give my bit on helping kids. Adolescent year is the most challenging and lots of trouble kids out there |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by iykofias(m): 12:01pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Ezibless:inbox me so dat i cn send u a pdf file of belle analysis. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 12:05pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
I'm too hungry to give advice. Mehn this #0-0-1 me and my men dey do, no be small thing o, for afternoon like this, e go be like they do me turn turn turner....aeroplane turner for more than 10mins Make maga pay make men smile small. Chai |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 12:06pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
princefunmi: I don't think i'd have the mind to do sneak outs sha. The thing is if she doesn't let me,i'l just endure. Because it's traveling out that they mainly don't approve of. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 12:08pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
donodion: Nna i con tire o lol |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 12:12pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Emodeee: Thanks for your analogy and stereotyping. #no comment. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 12:22pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
iykofias: Thanks, i'll pass |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by fhunn: 12:25pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Don't worry, very soon they'll be chasing you outta the house and you will still be complaining ![]() |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by iykofias(m): 12:27pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Ezibless:u dy run 4rm knowledge? very 4ny |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by rman: 12:31pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
A 22yr OLD IS AN ADULT FOR CHRISTS SAKE! I have noticed majority lack survival skills even after tertiary education, especially girls because of this protection bullshit. If at the age of 22, you can not differentiate right from wrong on your own and needs parental guidance, your parents have failed you! Boy or girl, by 18, they should be allowed to make decision concerning little things like going out, even business decisions. Backward mentality being celebrated as care. After WAEC, my choice of higher institution, course, when I come home, where I go etc I even traveled out and called home after I have picked up my boarding pass in 200L , all on my own. I just told my parents after secondary school "withdraw all these privileges the moment I get into trouble with the law'' And I have noticed all very successful people left their comfort zone very early in life. Your parents are not helping you build the required network for proper societal integration as an adult (22yrs old) 2 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by JEITO: 12:36pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
emiraty:I can understand with you. Being a counsellor can be demanding physically, mentality and emotionally. I have been a counsellor for a few years now(4 precisely) and I know what I am saying. I don't know the kind of people you have met, but I guess they are mostly single parents or those that got married out of circumstance(s) beyond their control or those that got into marriage for the wrong reasons. But the percentage of such is not much compared with those who have feelings for their kids. All the same, i appreciate your decision to work with young people especially in their formative years. I pray grace and wisdom richly abound for you. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 1:08pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 1:29pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
JEITO: 4 years wao!!!!. Hope you will be available when I need to rub minds on a case. Still learning how to crawl would love to have an experienced person to guide me . I do have them at the voulunteer centre but............. Have a blessed day ahead |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by freecocoa(f): 1:31pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Never had that issue with my parents and we never misused the liberty we had with them, at 22, one is supposed to be mentally prepared to survive alone, how will you face the world on your own if you still need permission to attend a function from your parents? Ofcourse you have to inform them of your whereabouts and then be back home at a reasonable hour, that's how I see it. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 1:41pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
rman: Mahn, you just said it all |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by JEITO: 2:08pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
emiraty:sure! with all pleasure. Have a wonderful day ahead also. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 2:10pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Stillfire:please ignore this advise. try to find out the reason why she don't want to let you go but in a friendly manner, but if you know trying to force yourself to go for graduation party just to present gift will ruin the lovely relationship you have with your mum, don't just bother going because you might regret it. if you as I dey take protect my sisters wey no be my pikin no matter her age eeeh, you go know say your parents na learner for protection. |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Ezibless: 2:31pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Nashoji: learner? lol ![]() |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Nobody: 2:32pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
ottizz:thumbs up |
Re: Advice Needed On Movement Restriction Of Grown Female Children. by Chinoble(f): 2:44pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
Ezibless:my sister, itz not easy o |
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