crackhaus:

Absolute nonsense...

Many Nigerian women since the days of our parents have been going to work and coming back home to fix meals for their husband and kids, they aren't dead but still living their lives and building their homes, they not complaining - even most of the married and working women here on NL family section do the exact same thing in their homes but only come online to preach 'heresy' and lead the naive and highly impressionable folks astray.


Now let's do a reality check to see if you don't have your head so far gone up your azz;
How many married women with husbands who work and earn well, take care of the bills themselves without any input from him?

In fact I can bet you that in situations where both husband and wife work, the husband still bears more of the bills and expenses...do you disagree?

I disagree , in those days our mothers did jobs like teaching or working in the civil service where they close like 4-5 pm so they get home before the husbands and have time to do household things. Now most women are doing jobs where they leave home as early as the man and they get back home around the same time in the night.

Yet the lazy Nigerian men want to sit on their bums and do nothing while the same woman who worked the same hours as you at the office is expected to take care of everything at home and then those same men will be going about shinning about how their wives no longer take care of themselves and are looking haggard . Why won't she look haggard when she's working almost round the clock while the man doesn't lift a finger.

The women in the west are able to balance things in the home front because their men contribute on the home front. And yes the women I know that work pay equal bills as their husbands .

By the way intelligent people are able to make their points and have a civilized discussion without insults

bamidele029:


I disagree , in those days our mothers did jobs like teaching or working in the civil service where they close like 4-5 pm so they get home before the husbands and have time to do household things. Now most women are doing jobs where they leave home as early as the man and they get back home around the same time in the night.

You're quite funny, what type of jobs do women do these days that keep them out of the house till night-time?

The only one I can think of right now is banking, and even some in this sector still get home and do some little chores they can manage...I know one on this very same NL - so what are you saying?

What jobs do women do now that is different from the ones our mothers did/do?

Yet the lazy Nigerian men want to sit on their bums and do nothing while the same woman who worked the same hours as you at the office is expected to take care of everything at home and then those same men will be going about shinning about how their wives no longer take care if themselves and are looking haggard . Why won't she look haggard when she's working almost round the clock while the man doesn't lift a finger.

I don't know about your lazy man theory because I can't relate with it, but if a married woman feels coming home to prepare a meal for her husband is too much work, I guess she should hire a maid who will be preparing and serving madam's husband his dinner...yes?

The women in the west are able to balance things in the home front because their men contribute. And yes the women I know that work pay equal bills as their husbands just like I do.

What is your definition of equal bills?

Is it that every bill/expense is split equally right down the middle, or is it dependent on whomever is financially buoyant at that particular instant?

crackhaus:

Okay I see you just felt like quoting then, you definitely agree with that last paragraph

The message communicated by the op is clear, strong and most importantly, one that you should learn from.

You guys are attacking her because she gave y'all the bitter pill which you can't comfortably swallow, so you resort to attacking her.

Very typical.

bamidele029:

By the way intelligent people are able to make their points and have a civilized discussion without insults

Okay, I just noticed you added this bit to your earlier submission.

I'm pleased to inform you that I am neither intelligent nor civilized, this of course is if I even insulted you to begin with.

Now that I have made that clear, you can now move on to reply my comment above...

crackhaus:

You're quite funny, what type of jobs do women do these days that keep them out of the house till night-time?

The only one I can think of right now is banking, and even some in this sector still get home and do some little chores they can manage...I know one on this very same NL - so what are you saying?

What jobs do women do now that is different from the ones our mothers did/do?


I don't know about your lazy man theory because I can't relate with it, but if a married woman feels coming home to prepare a meal for her husband is too much work, I guess she should hire a maid who will be preparing and serving madam's husband his dinner...yes?


What is your definition of equal bills?

Is it that every bill/expense is split equally right down the middle, or is it dependent on whomever is financially buoyant at that particular instant?

Abeg be real. Most women these days do jobs where they close like 6pm, they sit in traffic and get home like 8pm. How many of our mothers used to get home at 8pm or leave for the office as early as 6am.The man gets home at the same time but while the woman is sorting out dinner and the kids, the man sits on his ass watching football. If the woman hires a maid it's you same men on nairaland that will say a maid should not serve the husband. When the woman wants to buy gadgets to help out you same guys come and tell us how lazy she must be.

Our mothers had a lot of help in the form of younger siblings who lived with them. These days how many families can afford to have a younger sibling live with them when they will be expected to pay her school fees?

What exactly is stopping you Nigerian men from helping out in the home if not laziness? once the woman is helping out financially, it reduces the husbands burden so why can't the husband do his bit in the home

Evina:


The message communicated by the op is clear, strong and most importantly, one that you should learn from.

You guys are attacking her because she gave y'all the bitter pill which you can't comfortably swallow, so you resort to attacking her.

Very typical.

I ain't learning shiit from this OP!
Nigerian men are hypocrites but she managed to date one who isn't...this is the person I'm to learn from? Really?

The message communicated in the OP is divergent, confused, and totally myopic.
First and foremost, it's women who advocate equality...not men.
Second, her question should be directed to herself and females... if women want equality in all things, why do y'all still hold to the belief that men should fill certain roles that are more suited to his gender?

She didn't think her retort through before clicking submit, very easy to pick apart - there are many women who are independent and still submissive wives, very many in the real world...so her lecture failed totally in its premise.

Crackhaus call your fellow men to order . Tell them to be more helpful at the home front. A woman is not a supernatural being that's indefatigable. I believe that's the crux of the matter

adebisicutie:


Abeg be real. Most women these days do jobs where they close like 6pm, they sit in traffic and get home like 8pm. How many of our mothers used to get home at 8pm or leave for the office as early as 6am.The man gets home at the same time but while the woman is sorting out dinner and the kids, the man sits on his ass watching football. If the woman hires a maid it's you same men on nairaland that will say a maid should not serve the husband. When the woman wants to buy gadgets to help out you same guys come and tell us how lazy she must be.

Our mothers had a lot of help in the form of younger siblings who lived with them. These days how many families can afford to have a younger sibling live with them when they will be expected to pay her school fees?

What exactly is stopping you Nigerian men from helping out in the home if not laziness? once the woman is helping out financially, it reduces the husbands burden so why can't the husband do his bit in the home

And I am telling you that these women who get home at 8pm still find a way to do what they can in their homes, while those who can't have hired maids - you're the one who should get real.

A man that deems it fit to help does just that, those who don't still live in their homes peacefully with their wives.

Every other point in your post is noted, however you should tell all of it to your husband/boyfriend - I'm fine...

adebisicutie:


Abeg be real. Most women these days do jobs where they close like 6pm, they sit in traffic and get home like 8pm. How many of our mothers used to get home at 8pm or leave for the office as early as 6am.The man gets home at the same time but while the woman is sorting out dinner and the kids, the man sits on his ass watching football. If the woman hires a maid it's you same men on nairaland that will say a maid should not serve the husband. When the woman wants to buy gadgets to help out you same guys come and tell us how lazy she must be.

Our mothers had a lot of help in the form of younger siblings who lived with them. These days how many families can afford to have a younger sibling live with them when they will be expected to pay her school fees?

What exactly is stopping you Nigerian men from helping out in the home if not laziness? once the woman is helping out financially, it reduces the husbands burden so why can't the husband do his bit in the home

Talking to the wind you are. Naija dudes are too big to take correction. You want them to be emasculated by doing house work? Even though it doesn't emasculate them to accept financial assistance from their wives.
Confused doesn't even begin to cover it

soonest:
Crackhaus call your fellow men to order . Tell them to be more helpful at the home front. A woman is not a supernatural being that's indefatigable. I believe that's the crux of the matter

The ones I know in the real world don't have wives who complain like most of you on here, they have worked out a way to handle their bizniz effectively.

crackhaus:

I ain't learning shiit from this OP!
Nigerian men are hypocrites but she managed to date one who isn't...this is the person I'm to learn from? Really?

The message communicated in the OP is divergent, confused, and totally myopic.
First and foremost, it's women who advocate equality...not men.
Second, her question should be directed to herself and females... if women want equality in all things, why do y'all still hold to the belief that men should fill certain roles that are more suited to his gender?

She didn't think her retort through before clicking submit, very easy to pick apart - there are many women who are independent and still submissive wives, very many in the real world...so her lecture failed totally in its premise.

Sweetie, please stop trying so hard to erode the value imbedded in the message.

The message doesn't kick against a combination of submissiveness and independence in women. It only clearly states that men who demand both should be willing to live up to the role they were created to fulfill.

Capich?

crackhaus:

The ones I know in the real world don't have wives who complain like most of you on here, they have worked out a way to handle their bizniz effectively.

I will be surprised if you know any

Evina:


Sweetie, please stop trying so hard to erode the value imbedded in the message.

The message doesn't kick against a combination of submissiveness and independence in women. It only clearly states that men who demand both should be willing to live up to the role they were created to fulfill.

Capich?

The message didn't kick against a combination of both?
Didn't I say you just felt like quoting to enter an argument?

Please read the OP again and draw your conclusions, and this time pretend I'm not here:

firstEVA:
The Average Nigerian man of today expects his wife/girlfriend to not depend on him financially, she should be an independent woman, she should be like the women from the west who would pay the bills when they both go out on a date.

On the other hand, the average Nigerian man of today wants a humble, loyal and submissive woman a woman who MUST NOT behave like women from the west who would challenge his authority as head, argue with him and even give him a slap when the argument becomes intense, no, mba. In other words they want gender equality but do don't want gender equality.
Isn't this the greatest hypocrisy of all times?

That in bold 'sweetie' is called a contrast, two diverging opinions that are parallel never to meet according to FirsrEVA's assessment of the average Nigerian man.

She implied that once a woman is independent, she doesn't need to be submissive - I honestly don't know what else you inferred from that post...focus please!

soonest:

I will be surprised if you know any

Yea I guess you would...
I'm sure you think everyone else lives an isolated life in a wooden box like you do.

crackhaus:

The message didn't kick against a combination of both?
Didn't I say you just felt like quoting to enter an argument?

Please read the OP again and draw your conclusions, and this time pretend I'm not here:


That in bold 'sweetie' is called a contrast, two diverging opinions that are parallel never to meet according to FirsrEVA's assessment of the average Nigerian man.

She implied that once a woman is independent, she doesn't need to be submissive - I honestly don't know what else you inferred from that post...focus please!

wow! Your compression skills is questionable. Read it again and stop inferring in error.

firstEVA:
wow! Your compression skills is questionable. Read it again and stop inferring in error.

So you have got your tongue back eh?

Now tell us in one sentence what you wanted us to infer from your post, and also point to the part of your post where that inference could be drawn from.

I'm waiting!

crackhaus:

So you have got your tongue back eh?

Now tell us in one sentence what you wanted us to infer from your post, and also point to the part of your post where that inference could be drawn from.

I'm waiting!

I'm not ready to indulge you, enough said.

firstEVA:
I'm not ready to indulge you, enough said.

You are not serious

crackhaus:

You are not serious

you are too insulting, not ready for that. My message is clear though, you don't have to agree with me.

crackhaus:

Yea I guess you would...
I'm sure you think everyone else lives an isolated life in a wooden box like you do.

Hmmh ! You sure do take things too seriously.

Marry who suits you

Some men help their wives, some don't

@OP:
Only a foolish lady take what guys say they want seriously. Be found by your man and then study him.

Make those kain men nor DREEEEEEEEEEESSSS come my gate o!

If I can't argue and CHALLENGE. . . Please, move to MBAISE or IJEBU-IGBO quarters!

I am used to making a lot of noise in MY OWN HOUSE!!!! We don't do 'JOINT' PROPERTY OR ACCOUNTS IN MY VILLAGE O!

I don't have such women in my family lineage who do NOT ARGUE AND CHALLENGE!

Werily-werily I say unto thee. . . . .You shall SURELY DIE SLOWLY!!!!

Thanks in advance!

hasty generalization which is very bad

firstEVA:
When did you become an advocate for men? @ vivly
They should just know they can't have it all, no one woman can be all.

Go and change the hole in between your legs and add a stick. Stop crying fowl here.

Evina:


The message communicated by the op is clear, strong and most importantly, one that you should learn from.

You guys are attacking her because she gave y'all the bitter pill which you can't comfortably swallow, so you resort to attacking her.

Very typical.

There is no bitter pill of any sort here. It's just the usual low self esteem and fight for equality.

Simply go marry a man, pay his groom price which is never possible. Save us all the fowl cry.

firstEVA:
"...In other words they want gender equality but do not want gender equality.
Isn't this the greatest hypocrisy of all times?"

yes,it is. Confusion is their second name. However,I must not depend on any man for my needs,I've got hands,brain and the will to fend for myself

soonest:
Crackhaus call your fellow men to order . Tell them to be more helpful at the home front. A woman is not a supernatural being that's indefatigable. I believe that's the crux of the matter

Dear i asked the OP a question which she has refused to answer.I am directing it to you if you could be of help.The question is what about those men that foots the entire bill, takes part in the home front even sent the woman to school to be a graduate and also sent her to acquire a professional skill, yet she is disrespectful to the man? I guess you girls are with the wrong men.

If you had a man that is
different from the average Nigerian man, why on earth are you opening a
thread to complain about Nigerian men? it is obvious you have an
imaginary boyfriend as usual!

firstEVA:
common stop acting like you know me, my
post is about my observation on the Average Nigerian man, not all men,
you'll be surprised that my man is nothing like the average Nigerian man

firstEVA:
you are too insulting, not ready for that. My message is clear though, you don't have to agree with me.

Not only insulting, I also kill people.

Now tell me what message you want me to agree with? That the average Nigerian man is a hypocrite but the ones in your life are the exceptions, right?

Like I said, you ain't serious... Think thoroughly next time before coming up with topics like this, nonsense!

KanwuliaJara:
Make those kain men nor DREEEEEEEEEEESSSS come my gate o!
If I can't argue and CHALLENGE. . . Please, move to MBAISE or IJEBU-IGBO quaters!
I am used to making a lot of noise in MY OWN HOUSE!!!! We don't do 'JOINT' PROPERTY OR ACCOUNTS IN MY VILLAGE O!
I don't have such women in my family lineage who do NOT ARGUE AND CHALLENGE!
Werily-werily I say unto thee. . . . .You shall SURELY DIE SLOWLY!!!!
Thanks in advance!

If all the women in your family lineage argue and challenge then your family lineage is cursed!

dinachi:
If all the women in your family lineage argue and challenge then your family lineage is cursed!

When ALL the men are like YOU nko?
How we go do?