Just thought of it now that I should bring it here on NL...

A friend of mine is getting married today to her long time heart rob. Me and my friend(a female) both attended two institutions together, at some point being coursemate or lecturemate. We have lots of mutual friend between us,we do talk, visit each other (note, no emotional sontin sontin). That she is getting married is a joy for me. Before now while in school, I do tell her to inform me when she's about to get married just to celebrate with her.
Now, she did her engagement and she didn't let me know but before her engagement, a mutual friend was the one that informed me of her engagement and upcoming wedding. For the engagement I didn't go but I was expecting her to at least send me a message through any social media or text as an invite for her wedding.
Today, the last saturday of the year is her wedding, I have decided before now not to go for her wedding if she doesn't inform or invite me. Now our mutual friends have been bombarding me with messages that I should come for the wedding if not....

Please I need urgent advice if I should go or not because its today...

CaptainAmerica:
just go..

It's nothing.

Seconded.

Do this for her, then after this, you can forget her & spare her the explanations & apologies.


[size=65]JUST GO[/size]

Maybe she forgot to invite you..

Or Maybe she felt 'even if I invite him or not which significant role will he play'?

Or maybe she felt you had feelings for her that inviting you might break your heart..

I can go 'on and on' on the Maybes....but there is only one way to be sure why she didn't invite you; YOU HAVE TO GO..

But if I were you I won't go..

Maybe she forgot to invite you..

Or Maybe she felt 'even if I invite him or not which significant role will he play'?

Or maybe she felt you had feelings for her that inviting you might break your heart..

I can go 'on and on' on the Maybes....but there is only one way to be sure why she didn't invite you; YOU HAVE TO GO..

But if I were you I won't go..

Dalu.

I am guessing that you are a male
There may be a reason for her drawing back from you and not informing you of her engagement and weddding
Your friendship with her may be causing issues between her and her fiance
Not all men are mature and secure enough to be able to deal with their fiancees/wifes/girlfriends male friends and they kick up such a fuss over nothing
Maybe your frriend doesnt want any wahala so has decided to pull back from you to keep peace
Since she didnt invite you, then personaly I wont go
There is a saying that 20 children cannot play together for 20 years;
Not all frienndships will be for life
Find something better to do today.

Respect yourself and stay away.

Great post @ CC.

kreamidiva:
Respect yourself and stay away.

Great post @ CC.

Did you at some point date her or had any string attached? ? If No, then go share her joy with her afterall your friends are going too.... She may even be so happy seeing you. ...Also, if you don't go now, you will strt keeping grudges wch ain't good for ya health. ...



eehh, one question, did she send messages to your mutual friends but excluded you??

Stay away,no stress.
Don't go,no mess.
She didn't tell you,you were not invited.

Thank ya all for your concern...am a male, we didn't date at all no string attached, just close friends, former coursemate. She has been dating her to be husband even before we became course mates and have met the fiance twice or thrice, I do ask after him, his well being and how their relationship is doing. Maybe graduating from school separated us a little. The mutual friends are all ladies and I have a good friendship with all of them and a very close friendship with the one that informed me about her engagement and wedding

For those saying she forgot, a secondary school friend that got married this year, took out time to send me an invite for her wedding through facebook, there is no way I won't honour such invite with my presence because I have been invited and am free.

I have one hour more to make a decision

MarvellousGod:
Did you at some point date her or had any string attached? ? If No, then go share her joy with her afterall your friends are going too.... She may even be so happy seeing you. ...Also, if you don't go now, you will strt keeping grudges wch ain't good for ya health. ...



eehh, one question, did she send messages to your mutual friends but excluded you??

They attend the same church, so she got to know directly from her. Even before she informed de mutual friend it took sometime because de mutual friend had been be hearing it from her friends in church

ogaprime:
Thank ya all for your concern...am a male, we didn't date at all no string attached, just close friends, former coursemate. She has been dating her to be husband even before we became course mates and have met the fiance twice or thrice, I do ask after him, his well being and how their relationship is doing. Maybe graduating from school separated us a little. The mutual friends are all ladies and I have a good friendship with all of them and a very close friendship with the one that informed me about her engagement and wedding

For those saying she forgot, a secondary school friend that got married this year, took out time to send me an invite for her wedding through facebook, there is no way I won't honour such invite with my presence because I have been invited and am free.

I have one hour more to make a decision

Sit in your house and respect yourself
If she had been dating the guy before she met you, and they both hold you in high esteem, then you should have been a "family" friend in which case either one of you would have invited you
They both didnt invite you for reasons best known to themselves.
Whether you attend or not, the wedding will go ahead and your not being there makes no difference to them. They have invited the important people that they want there.
Respect yourself.
If you see later and she says she was dissapointed not seeing you at her wedding; just remind her that she didnt invite you.

If you weren't invited don't go. You don't want to be labelled the gate crusher. Some people are only in your life for a season and when that season is over they fade away.

ogaprime:
Thank ya all for your concern...am a male, we didn't date at all no string attached, just close friends, former coursemate. She has been dating her to be husband even before we became course mates and have met the fiance twice or thrice, I do ask after him, his well being and how their relationship is doing. Maybe graduating from school separated us a little. The mutual friends are all ladies and I have a good friendship with all of them and a very close friendship with the one that informed me about her engagement and wedding
For those saying she forgot, a secondary school friend that got married this year, took out time to send me an invite for her wedding through facebook, there is no way I won't honour such invite with my presence because I have been invited and am free.
I have one hour more to make a decision

You sound desperate, idle, and definitely up to no good. I doubt you're giving us the full gist and you probably do not wish her well.

The writing's on the wall man. You aren't wanted. Neither were you invited. So why force yourself on her & her fiancee-now-husband-to-be?

Unless awoof calling for free food is irresistible. Are you hungry, @ OP?

Aint a gate crusher oo, am a gentle human being. I don't have any grudges against her, if I see her now we would talk but what is surprising me is that if we don't have chains of mutual friends so I won't know of her wedding until the wedding pictures gets to facebook. I have decided before now not to go, my girlfriend told me not to go, a friend too told me not to go. Its just de calls and messages from our mutual friends that's giving me confusion here...thanks you all for your contributions

EfemenaXY:


You sound desperate, idle, and definitely up to no good. I doubt you're giving us the full gist and you probably do not wish her well.

The writing's on the wall man. You aren't wanted. Neither were you invited. So why force yourself on her & her fiancee-now-husband-to-be?

Unless awoof calling for free food is irresistible. Are you hungry, @ OP?

Lool...you make me laugh, I wish I can show you de turkey am busy frying for my mum now. Am not a bad person and am still going to call her to wish her well. I don't have anything "emotional" for her just plain friendship, I have been in support of their relationship to get to this point. The husband to be has seen me twice or thrice and he might not recognise my face but telling him my name will make him remember me.

The only thing here that am withholding is how close we are, don't want to give in depth details because someone might see this, calculate one and two and know that's it me, every other thing is the truth...

ogaprime:
Aint a gate crusher oo, am a gentle human being. I don't have any grudges against her, if I see her now we would talk but what is surprising me is that if we don't have chains of mutual friends so I won't know of her wedding until the wedding pictures gets to facebook. I have decided before now not to go, my girlfriend told me not to go, a friend too told me not to go. Its just de calls and messages from our mutual friends that's giving me confusion here...thanks you all for your contributions

Guy biko free this thing jare, I for one don't see any big deal in this. Maybe cause of my person and a very busy one. If you want to go please go,if you don't want to go biko stay your house and sleep or go else where.

For real I don't see any issue in this that you needed to open a thread. If someone invites you for a wedding fine,if they don't then fine as well,life continues.

Have you also considered she might have sent you text message or called you and due to poor network you couldn't get it.

My own blood cousin accused me of not bringing my wedding iv personally to her house, and guess what? I called her bluff. Yes I did cause I dint expect such from her, we where very close and I expected her to understand better, her mum who is my mum sister already is among the planner and her sisters as well so there was no way she wunt get all the info 100 percent,yet she still wanted me to bring iv personally to her house and her hubby office.

so bone all this and be a man abeg,except if you have secretly admired her all this while and can't open up. That will be the only reason for acting like this.

taryour:


Guy biko free this thing jare, I for one don't see any big deal in this. Maybe cause of my person and a very busy one. If you want to go please go,if you don't want to go biko stay your house and sleep or go else where.

For real I don't see any issue in this that you needed to open a thread. If someone invites you for a wedding fine,if they don't then fine as well,life continues.

Have you also considered she might have sent you text message or called you and due to poor network you couldn't get it.

My own blood cousin accused me of not bringing my wedding iv personally to her house, and guess what? I called her bluff. Yes I did cause I dint expect such from her, we where very close and I expected her to understand better, her mum who is my mum sister already is among the planner and her sisters as well so there was no way she wunt get all the info 100 percent,yet she still wanted me to bring iv personally to her house and her hubby office.

so bone all this and be a man abeg,except if you have secretly admired her all this while and can't open up. That will be the only reason for acting like this.

Looool....thanks. If I no open thread, oga at de top no go chop ooo. Thanks all the same

Girls can be unnecessarily secretive and annoying sometimes..
Just stay away since you weren't invited, no biggie

Only in Africa will we think it's normal to crash a wedding we were not invited to. You are not invited, stay home

Men and wahala ooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Your gf told you not to go to a wedding of another female friend that did not invite you to her wedding and you want to put on shoe and go
Okay oooooooo!

Dont come back here and open thread that my "gf is not talking to me" or "my gf went to greet her male friend on New Years day but refused to visit me"

Bros, take some of that Turkey you are frying, wrap it in foil, call your girlfriend and you both head down to Badagry beach and enjoy yourselves. End of discussion

Why will you go to a marriage you're not invited?

@OP


I know your type of person , you belong to the intrusive class . And I can bet that you are more of a perfidy than a paddy to your supposed female colleague and this she knows and sees you in same light all through the years you had been in close association with her . Action they say speaks louder than words . She had evaluated her close association with you over the years and came to the conclusion that you do not merit her friendship , thus her action toward you . This is what I term perfect timing , since she chose the events of her special moment to pass her opinion to you . To me , your best bet at this juncture should be to respect yourself and stay off from this her special day . Does that makes both you of enemies , no - it only means " keeping the wall that divide two neighbors tight " . Strife to learn how to respect yourself , always have it in mind that respect is earned not given .

Sincerely , a lot of people do mistake close association , colleague and acquaintanceship for " friendship " . I personally , the word " friend " is a heavy word in my life dictionary , this is a person(s) next to me after my " merited " blood relations and this explains why I am yet to find someone who merit to bear this special tag " friend " in my life so far . Maybe , my present lady partner will earn it to merit it from me . It is hard to find one believe you me .

My special advice to you is to start from today to group all the people in your life in the following sequences : Acquaintance , Associate , Colleague , Friend , Extended Relation , Blood Relation and " Merited Blood Relation " .

Stay away, there is no need to go.
All those people calling, why did not call for the engagment, after the engagment or weeks before the marriage.
As long as she is doing something that is joyful noone can hang on you for not goin.

IF she was bereaved I would advise you to o no matter how bad the issues.

But for the marriage, forget it.

chaircover:


Sit in your house and respect yourself
If she had been dating the guy before she met you, and they both hold you in high esteem, then you should have been a "family" friend in which case either one of you would have invited you
They both didnt invite you for reasons best known to themselves.
Whether you attend or not, the wedding will go ahead and your not being there makes no difference to them. They have invited the important people that they want there.
Respect yourself.
If you see later and she says she was dissapointed not seeing you at her wedding; just remind her that she didnt invite you.

shekina

You claimed to know the Genesis of their relationship, and that makes you one of the key factor to both sides,. am sure if that guy caused pains into her heart before this time or the lady dumped him or caused pains as well, they would look for you to report the bad conduct and waiting for your intervention for quick reunion. Because you were important.

But now reverse is the case, you are no more important to them. Stay in your house before they hand you over to DSS as suicide bomber.

chaircover:
Men and wahala ooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Your gf told you not to go to a wedding of another female friend that did not invite you to her wedding and you want to put on [size=18pt]shoe[/size] and go
Okay oooooooo!

Dont come back here and open thread that my "gf is not talking to me" or "my gf went to greet her male friend on New Years day but refused to visit me"

Bros, take some of that Turkey you are frying, wrap it in foil, call your girlfriend and you both head down to Badagry beach and enjoy yourselves. End of discussion

Empero1:
@OP
I know your type of person , you belong to the intrusive class. And I can bet that you are more of a perfidy than a paddy to your supposed female colleague and this she knows and sees you in same light all through the years you had been in close association with her...

My belly o!

I "haff laff" tire!

CC & Empero1, e don do, abeg. Aisha2, spot on. To attend is by-fire-by-force...

From your story, mutual friends of you and the lady have been calling you to attend the wedding. The only reasonable conclusion one can draw is that those mutual friends who know that you were not invited must have surely mentioned it to her that you didn't get an invite. Her subsequent refusal to invite you speaks volumes. Respect yourself and stay at home or take your girlfriend out on a date.

My advice came late... Just go

I do not go to such occasion. It is either u invite me orally or the card print.

Just go na. She might not have deliberately left you out. If you know what it takes to plan a wedding you won't blame her. I'm sure you are not the only one she didn't, or forgot to invite.