shachris03:
Crap. All these talk about sex it making me sick . Sex is highly overated.

fustrated virgin!

dhamstar:
What a wonderful piece!

However, not all of those points are lies though.

lol

I know many guyz wud luv dis.Let b sincere to ourslf,sex is meant 4 married pple so bcareful

shachris03:
Crap. All these talk about sex it making me sick . Sex is highly overated.

WALAI

Great nairalanders, i hail o abeg was d meanin of op...i ave been seein dis on dis forum but am yet 2 knw d meanin...tanx guys

shachris03:
Crap. All these talk about sex it making me sick . Sex is highly overated.

I totally agree with you.sex is overrated.

If our reason for saving sex until marriage is because we believe it will make sex better or easier for us, we’re not only setting ourselves up for disappointment, but we’re missing the point entirely.

Those of us who choose to wait do so because we hold certain beliefs about the sacredness of marriage and about God's intentions and wishes for humanity, and we honor these regardless of whether they feel easier or harder.

I love this statement. The second part especially.

As for the first part, I do believe the first time can be better and easier if we are prepared better by our parents.

Which leads me to the statement below.

In the meantime, we in the evangelical church have a lot of work to do correcting the distorted ways we talk about sex and sexuality, especially to our youth.

While this correct, we need to go further. Frankly, sex education is not the job of the church. It is the parents job.

We, as parents, need to be open and honest with our children. We can't be embarrassed or ashamed to speak of sex.

How we broach the subject with our children will tell them more than anything we say. There must be no judgement and there can be no question out of bounds (As long as it is age appropriate).

We are talking about evangelical Christians here, so we should speak from the stance that sex is sacred, and should only be shared between husband and wife.

If we are open with our children, they will have a better chance of a good experience that first time and every time after.

If I can take this one step further, when your child is ready to marry; mothers should take their daughters aside and fathers their sons: be very frank about what to expect. More importantly, what they can do to make the experience better for their companion.

This may be difficult for some parents and the child. One thing that may help is to always be openly affectionate in front of your children. I don't mean sex. I mean; hold hands, kiss, hug, tell your spouse you love them. Allow your children to see what a healthy, loving relationship looks like.

There is no way to prepare anyone completely for the awesome power of sex, but let's at least give our children the tools they need to enjoy what God has ordained.

starlingleanets:
Read my post again i said it depends where ur Faith lies, d one u describe here lies in Church doctrine[b] but the one that lies in the Bible does nt submit to church doctrines[/b]

each and everyone of them relies on the bible too! I can use the same bible to justify killing! And to condemn it. The bible is a tool and can be used either way, if people don't need more understanding to the things of the bible.. They won't buy books or go for bible studies

psychologist:
lol u again? u b witch

lol don't mind me joor

DrObum:
Wow! I read that lengthy stuff!







You know what that means? It means that OP did a good job!

No, it means you like sex

olassy239:
i hope you are not adversing me to go lose my virginity

Lol

shachris03:
Crap. All these talk about sex it making me sick . Sex is highly overated.

how do you mean?

merieam16:
Can't see any lies here @op tryin 2 justify urself

justify herself Did u miss the part where she said she waited till her wedding nite Did u even read d writeup? why wud she need 2 justify herself?

olassy239:
i hope you are not adversing me to go lose my virginity

w*o das* u virgi*,carbo* cop* of ma*eeda,

olassy239:
i hope you are not adversing me to go lose my virginity

w*o das* u virgi*,carbo* cop* of ma*eeda d sex freak,

If you are committed to waiting until you’re married to have sex, there are many valid reasons to set boundaries on your physical relationship, but the fear of accidentally having sex shouldn’t be one of them.

This had me cackling

ehn ehn, galz too think abt SEX? I thought it's only boiz that r obssessed with sex. do u fink abt sex?@MISSMOSSY

Nice write up

texanomaly:


If our reason for saving sex until marriage is because we believe it will make sex better or easier for us, we’re not only setting ourselves up for disappointment, but we’re missing the point entirely.

Those of us who choose to wait do so because we hold certain beliefs about the sacredness of marriage and about God's intentions and wishes for humanity, and we honor these regardless of whether they feel easier or harder.

I love this statement. The second part especially.

As for the first part, I do believe the first time can be better and easier if we are prepared better by our parents.

Which leads me to the statement below.

In the meantime, we in the evangelical church have a lot of work to do correcting the distorted ways we talk about sex and sexuality, especially to our youth.

While this correct, we need to go further. Frankly, sex education is not the job of the church. It is the parents job.

We, as parents, need to be open and honest with our children. We can't be embarrassed or ashamed to speak of sex.

How we broach the subject with our children will tell them more than anything we say. There must be no judgement and there can be no question out of bounds (As long as it is age appropriate).

We are talking about evangelical Christians here, so we should speak from the stance that sex is sacred, and should only be shared between husband and wife.

If we are open with our children, they will have a better chance of a good experience that first time and every time after.

If I can take this one step further, when your child is ready to marry; mothers should take their daughters aside and fathers their sons: be very frank about what to expect. More importantly, what they can do to make the experience better for their companion.

This may be difficult for some parents and the child. One thing that may help is to always be openly affectionate in front of your children. I don't mean sex. I mean; hold hands, kiss, hug, tell your spouse you love them. Allow your children to see what a healthy, loving relationship looks like.

There is no way to prepare anyone completely for the awesome power of sex, but let's at least give our children the tools they need to enjoy what God has ordained.

I stand to be corrected but I think those that have decided to stay away from sex did so because they think and realise that fornication and adultery are sins on their own in essence it was a form of purity....

benjminPrince:
Great nairalanders, i hail o abeg
was d meanin of op...i ave been seein dis on dis forum but am yet 2 knw d
meanin...tanx guys

guess u r new here. anyways, OP means ORIGINAL POSTER i.e d person who post an article.

1miccza:



I stand to be corrected but I think those that have decided to stay away from sex did so because they think and realise that fornication and adultery are sins on their own in essence it was a form of purity....

It was not my intention to correct anyone. It is simply my opinion.

franugo:


justify herself Did u miss the part where she said she waited till her wedding nite Did u even read d writeup? why wud she need 2 justify herself?

guess I miss'd dat part..buh y u cryin nao anyways here' a handky nd a shoulder 2 cry on

johncreek:
Girls don't care about sex and three other lies I've had to unlearn.

I've heard people say that growing up as an evangelical meant they never talked about sex. This wasn’t my experience. I grew up in the thick of evangelical purity culture and we talked about sex A LOT. We just spent all of that time talking about how and why NOT to have it.

As someone who waited until I was married to have sex, I was assured that I would be guaranteed an easy and rewarding sex life. When reality turned out to be different, I was disappointed and disillusioned. Only through gradual conversations with other married friends did I realize I wasn’t alone.

I started to wonder if maybe the expectations themselves were wrong. Maybe what I’d been told or inferred about post-marital sex simply wasn’t true.

Here are four of the biggest lies about sex I believed before marriage

1. Any and all physical contact is like a gateway drug to sex.

Once in high school I attended a big Christian youth conference. One night, one of the chaperones addressed the girls: “Girls, we have noticed some very inappropriate touching going on...”

The inappropriate touching she meant turned out to be two high school couples in the youth group holding hands. This woman was deadly serious. “I know it may not seem like a big deal to you,” she said. “But hand-holding leads to OTHER THINGS!”

I heard similar things from parents, teachers, church leaders and books. In my church it was not unusual for people to pledge not only to save sex until marriage, but even to save their first kiss for their wedding day. “Don’t start the engine if you aren’t ready to drive the car,” and other similar metaphors warned me that any physical contact was a slippery slope straight into the jaws of fornication.

On this side of things, I can honestly say that there are SO many conscious decisions you have to make between kissing and having sex. Despite what Hollywood says, clothes do not take themselves off and bodies do not magically and effortlessly fit together.

If you are committed to waiting until you’re married to have sex, there are many valid reasons to set boundaries on your physical relationship, but the fear of accidentally having sex shouldn’t be one of them.

2. If you wait until you are married to have sex, God will reward you with mind-blowing sex and a magical wedding night. 


Before my wedding night, I had been told that honeymoon sex isn’t usually the best sex. I had heard that good sex takes work. I knew that it would probably be uncomfortable at first. But what nobody ever, EVER told me was that it was possible that it just might not work at all at first. On my wedding night, my mind and heart were there, but my body was locked up tighter than Maid Marian’s chastity belt.

I entered marriage with the firm conviction that God rewards those who wait, only to find myself confounded by the mechanics. I felt like an utter failure, both as a wife and a woman. And while we did (eventually) get things working, this was hard, frustrating, embarrassing and a huge blow to our confidences.

Saving sex for marriage is not a guarantee that you will have great sex or that sex will be easy. All it guarantees is that the person you fumble through it with will be someone who has already committed to love you forever.

3. Girls don’t care about sex.

As a teenager and young adult I cannot count the times I heard something to this effect: “Boys are very visual and sexual, so even though you aren’t thinking about sex, you need to be careful because you are responsible for not making them stumble.”

Let’s disregard for now how degrading this is toward men and focus on the underlying assumption that boys are sexual and girls aren’t. For years I was told that “girls don’t care about sex.” Well, as it turns out, I do. This has been a deep source of shame for me. For a long time I felt like a freak, until I started to realize that I wasn’t the only one, not by a longshot. But I never knew it because no one would admit it.

Many girls (yes, even Christian girls) think about sex. Many girls (yes, even Christian girls) like sex. This doesn’t make you a freak. It doesn’t make you unfeminine or unnatural. God created us, both men AND women, as sexual beings. Enjoying sex makes you a human being created by God, in the image of God, with the capacity and desire to love—physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and sexually.

MANY GIRLS (YES, EVEN CHRISTIAN GIRLS) THINK ABOUT SEX. MANY GIRLS (YES, EVEN CHRISTIAN GIRLS) LIKE SEX. THIS DOESN’T MAKE YOU A FREAK.

4. When you get married, you will immediately be able to fully express yourself sexually without guilt or shame.

Many Christians have spent years—from the day they hit puberty until their wedding day—focusing their energy on keeping their sex drives in check. Then, in the space of a few hours, they are expected to stop feeling like their sexuality is something they must carefully control and instead be able to express it freely. And not only that—but express it freely with another person.

Many of us have programmed guilt into ourselves—this is how we keep ourselves in check throughout our dating relationships. And that “red light” feeling we train ourselves to obey doesn’t always go away just because we’ve spoken some vows and signed some papers.

It took me several months to stop having that sick-to-my-stomach guilty feeling every time I was together with my husband. Not everyone experiences this, but for the many people who do, it’s terribly isolating. Once again we’re experiencing something our churches and communities never acknowledged as a possibility. We feel alone and broken and filled with a profound sense that this isn’t the way it’s meant to be.

I don’t regret waiting until I was married to have sex, and I’m not advocating that churches stop teaching that sex is designed for marriage. But I do think there is something seriously wrong with the way we’ve handled the conversation.

If our reason for saving sex until marriage is because we believe it will make sex better or easier for us, we’re not only setting ourselves up for disappointment, but we’re missing the point entirely. Those of us who choose to wait do so because we hold certain beliefs about the sacredness of marriage and about God's intentions and wishes for humanity, and we honor these regardless of whether they feel easier or harder. In the meantime, we in the evangelical church has a lot of work to do correcting the distorted ways we talk about sex and sexuality, especially to our youth.


http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/4-lies-church-taught-me-about-sex

Nice write up OP but I don't think all these points were taught by the church,my church simply taught me that sex before marriage is fornication and hence sin while sex after marriage is adultery. This points therefore emphasizes the importance of abstinence to our being and purity to our soul....

texanomaly:


It was not my intention to correct anyone. It is simply my opinion.

That where the title is misleading and the writer a bit wrong.....

merieam16:
guess I miss'd dat part..buh y u cryin nao anyways here' a handky nd a shoulder 2 cry on

crying kwa! Men don't cry, we just sweat 4rm the eyes

Tanx man @Emodee

Nice

Nic one

Number 1 is truth over-stretched. 2-4 are stories to scare kids. Op...its unfortunate that "ur expectations were cut short" but sex itself is not mathematical algebra with formulars and manuals. Its like football, u get better with practice !!! Its cool to remain a Virgin till marriage.( U try sha ) For point 3 : IF U ARE A GIRL AnD U NEver Ever think AboUt SeX, then U neeD to either a psychology or a Psychiatrist ASAP cus its ABNORMAL !!!

Op, I disagree with you on no 1. If you found your husband hand in hand with another lady, will you conclude that there is nothing sexual going on between them? Even grown up brothers and sisters don't do that. The people who taught that knew why they said so please.