Hello NairaLanders , happy new year in advance.

Please I need help.

I got married recently but its not been all I thought.
The worst is I feel I'm going to wreck my new marriage by my own hands.

I love my hubby dearly, with everything in me, but I can't seem to communicate with him. It makes him feel I disrespect him. I swear I respect him a lot and all I ever want is his happiness, but my recent attitude does not show this,it hurts me so much. I cry all the time. I feel I don't deserve to be married.

I feel so useless,unwanted, unhappy, I m pushing my man away ,I always regret my actions after its done, but I'm losing my sanity.

My sisters came to my place today, I should have informed him, but for no reason I didn't. He felt so disrespected , I apologised, but I know something is wrong somewhere. This is not what I want. I want a happy home, I always regret my actions , but why do I do it?

Please someone help me before I ruin my marriage. My hubby posted on social media today " divorce is imminent if my wife continues d way she's going". I saw this and have been heartbroken.

What do I do please

both of you are not matured enough for marriage

Another " lesson" post just when I was commending the writers on the other post for improving lol.

Oya poster let me humour you.

1. How old are you and how old is he?
2. Clearly state incidents where you were disrespectful because I cant really see much from this post
3. Is it a case of disrespect or a case of a lord of the manor whose words are law and we have to walk on egg shells round him.

See you know what you are gonna do?... Find out the thing that makes your husband happy, like ask your husband mother about how you can make him happy, she would tell you... Some men like good soup, while some men love women to tell them stories, or even football stuff... Don't give up yet, i believe your marriage would last for long. And find a quiet time to talk to him only when he is in a good mood, try not to argue with him and be a good wife, very soon he would learn to respect you, thats part of life.

Firstly put yourself together and stop being depressed because depression won't help you at all here , like you said the problem is not actually disrespect because i can't see anything disrespectful from your post except you say otherwise but actually communication.

hijayoma:
Hello NLs , happy new year in advance, pls I need help
I got married recently but its not been all I thought.
The worst is I feel I'm going to wreck my new marriage by my own hands
I love my hubby dearly, wit everyting in me, but I can't seem to communicate with him. It makes him feel I disrespect him, I swear. I respect him a lot all I ever want is his happiness, but my recent attitude does not show this,it hurts me so much, I cry all the time, I feel I dnt deserve to be married.

I feel so useless,unwanted, unhappy, I m pushing my man away ,I always regret my actions after its done, but I'm loosing my sanity.

My sisters came to my place today, I shld av informed him, bt for no reason I didn't,he felt so disrespected , I apologised, but I knw someting is wrong somewre,,this is nt wat I want, I want a happy home, I always regret my actions , but y do I do it?

Pls someone help me before I ruin my marriage,,my hubby posted on social media today "" divorce is imminent if my wife continues d way she's going"". I saw this and have been heartbroken , wat do I do plsss

Tell him to grow up.

hijayoma:
Hello NLs , happy new year in advance, pls I need help
I got married recently but its not been all I thought.
The worst is I feel I'm going to wreck my new marriage by my own hands
I love my hubby dearly, wit everyting in me, but I can't seem to communicate with him. It makes him feel I disrespect him, I swear. I respect him a lot all I ever want is his happiness, but my recent attitude does not show this,it hurts me so much, I cry all the time, I feel I dnt deserve to be married.

I feel so useless,unwanted, unhappy, I m pushing my man away ,I always regret my actions after its done, but I'm loosing my sanity.

My sisters came to my place today, I shld av informed him, bt for no reason I didn't,he felt so disrespected , I apologised, but I knw someting is wrong somewre,,this is nt wat I want, I want a happy home, I always regret my actions , but y do I do it?

Pls someone help me before I ruin my marriage,,my hubby posted on social media today "" divorce is imminent if my wife continues d way she's going"". I saw this and have been heartbroken , wat do I do plsss

Where's the rest of the story?

carefreewannabe:


Tell him to grow up.

I like dis babe.

yomi007k:

I like dis babe.

Really? Surprise, surprise.

carefreewannabe:


Really? Surprise, surprise.

I tel u.

yomi007k:

I tel u.

Poster, learn to communicate with him. He is your hubby, I kniw what your problem is, you prolly have been on your own before you got married and had friends and famiy visit without asking anybodys permission and you are still living that single life( which isnt a bad life) now that you are married, you have someone to communicate things with before you make any decission.
So, cal your sweery, ask him for forgiveness, and promise to change, and then CHANGE. Appologies become annoying when people make them and then as soon as they turn around, they commit another and the cycle continues.
Happy 2015 to you and him and I wish you two a very long happy married life together.

carefreewannabe:


Tell him to grow up.

spot on !

hijayoma:
Hello NLs , happy new year in advance, pls I need help
I got married recently but its not been all I thought.
The worst is I feel I'm going to wreck my new marriage by my own hands
I love my hubby dearly, wit everything in me, but I can't seem to communicate with him. It makes him feel I disrespect him, I swear. I respect him a lot all I ever want is his happiness, but my recent attitude does not show this,it hurts me so much, I cry all the time, I feel I dnt deserve to be married.

You don't seem to communicate with him how? As in you feel you don't tell him things he should know about or you cant talk to him generally(which makes me wonder how u courted and got married)?

What is your recent attitude and has he complained about it?

Why do you feel you don't deserve to be married? That is quite harsh. Why the statement?

I feel so useless,unwanted, unhappy, I m pushing my man away ,I always regret my actions after its done, but I'm loosing my sanity.

Whoa there sister! Who is putting all these thoughts in your head? Is your husband verbally abusive? If not have you always been pessimistic in your thinking? And why would you feel unwanted?

My sisters came to my place today, I shld av informed him, bt for no reason I didn't,he felt so disrespected , I apologised, but I knw something is wrong somewhere,,this is nt wat I want, I want a happy home, I always regret my actions , but y do I do it?

Pls someone help me before I ruin my marriage,,my hubby posted on social media today "" divorce is imminent if my wife continues d way she's going"". I saw this and have been heartbroken , wat do I do plsss

Your sisters came to the house without your husband knowing. That's bad, but not as bad as you are painting it here, he might be a little annoyed but not enough to storm to social media(facebook?) to complain. Has this happened before? Is there something else, an underlying problem?

Finally, how long have you two been married? This sounds like the trials of any newly wedded couple@6months maybe? I could be wrong.

If you can answer the questions maybe we can profer a way forward.
Keep your chin up and be cheerful! You haven't said anything new under the sun! Compliments of the season.

I'm sorry your story doesn't add up. It's practically impossible for your husband of few weeks to threaten you with divorce for something as inconsequential as not informing him before his SIL's came to visit.

Have you been consistently going against his wishes ma'am?

Whatever it may be though, you guys need to have a serious 1-2-1 convo.

Newly weds who never lived together before marriage usually have some kinks to work out soon after marriage. However communication is the key. Since you haven't given details of the 'supposed' or 'agreed' disrespect. The most anyone can say is that your disagreements are based on a lack of communication. The instance you mentioned is classic. You ought to have told him they are coming more so if they are passing the night but that on its own is not enough to go to social media. The fact that you are not denying the disrespect shows you agree with him and he is not wrong so, you need to be a little more conscious. You may have gotten too used to your previous independence.

carefreewannabe:


Tell him to grow up.

Gbam. Divorce over what? Let the op come back and answer some questions. It seems she forced that man to marry her.

jaybee3:
I'm sorry your story doesn't add up. It's practically impossible for your husband of few weeks to threaten you with divorce for something as inconsequential as not informing him before his SIL's came to visit.

Have you been consistently going against his wishes ma'am?

Whatever it may be though, you guys need to have a serious 1-2-1 convo.

She said she had been doing things that may seem like she doesnt respect her man which accirding to her she regrets after the deed is done.. She only used that SIL case as an example. She said she offends him without meaning to do so.
Its just for her to conciously work towards including him in her activicties. They both need to sitdown and talk. Thank God its almost new year, if she is a wise wife, she will sieze this opportunity to talk with him and they both pray together to ursher in the new year.

aisha2:
Another " lesson" post just when I was commending the writers on the other post for improving lol.

Oya poster let me humour you.

1. How old are you and how old is he?
2. Clearly state incidents where you were disrespectful because I cant really see much from this post
3. Is it a case of disrespect or a case of a lord of the manor whose words are law and we have to walk on egg shells round him.

I dnt know what sort of marriages people operate these days. What has she done? I smell abuse.

delishpot:


She said she had been doing things that may seem like she doesnt respect her man which accirding to her she regrets after the deed is done.. She only used that SIL case as an example. She said she offends him without meaning to do so.
Its just for her to conciously work towards including him in her activicties. They both need to sitdown and talk. Thank God its almost new year, if she is a wise wife, she will sieze this opportunity to talk with him and they both pray together to ursher in the new year.

I see.....
The holy books stressed the importance of being obedient so why is she going against such teachings?

jaybee3:


I see.....
The holy books stressed the importance of being obedient so why is she going against such teachings?

Thats the point. That is why she needs counseling. Poor girl prolly doesnt have an older person to talk to.or doesnt want to discuss her marriage with those she know.

hijayoma:
Hello NairaLanders , happy new year in advance.

Please I need help.

I got married recently but its not been all I thought.
The worst is I feel I'm going to wreck my new marriage by my own hands.

I love my hubby dearly, with everything in me, but I can't seem to communicate with him. It makes him feel I disrespect him. I swear I respect him a lot and all I ever want is his happiness, but my recent attitude does not show this,it hurts me so much. I cry all the time. I feel I don't deserve to be married.

I feel so useless,unwanted, unhappy, I m pushing my man away ,I always regret my actions after its done, but I'm losing my sanity.

My sisters came to my place today, I should have informed him, but for no reason I didn't. He felt so disrespected , I apologised, but I know something is wrong somewhere. This is not what I want. I want a happy home, I always regret my actions , but why do I do it?

Please someone help me before I ruin my marriage. My hubby posted on social media today " divorce is imminent if my wife continues d way she's going". I saw this and have been heartbroken.

What do I do please

You sound like you are depressed. Have you recently put to bed?
has anything of significance happened recently in your life to make you feel down

As for hubby; sorry to say doesnt sound mature enough to handle whatever it is that is "bothering you" and the ups and downs in marriage.
Is social media the place to threaten your wife divorce and wash your dirty linen in public?
When a girl jumps into the crack and starts to chase the guy another problem will start

if you guys cant talk and discuss your issues, then you both need to get a marriage counsellor to get you started. You both cant carry on like this.

@op, seems to me you are under a curse/spell. After doing wrong, your eyes clears. It is as if you are not yourself when you do all those things. IMO, what you need is serious deliverance and prayers. That's all.

New marriages always has it's ups and downs, your husband should be more understanding, you will need to adjust to know what he wants or not. Learn to discuss with him before you do anything.

Sophyrocks:

Gbam. Divorce over what? Let the op come back and answer some questions. It seems she forced that man to marry her.

We don't know everything of course but I find it ridiculous what adults share on social media nowadays.

carefreewannabe:


We don't know everything of course but I find it ridiculous what adults share on social media nowadays.

Washing dirty marital laundry reeks of immaturity. Age doesnt always show maturity at all. Guess he did her a huge favour by marrying her. Kmt.

Sophyrocks:

Washing dirty marital laundry reeks of immaturity. Age doesnt always show maturity at all. Guess he did her a huge favour by marrying her. Kmt.

And such a person expects respect! A child in an adult's body.

Your husband needs to go back to nursery school. He is not mature enough for a date much less marriage. I have a feeling he knows you get anxious about every little thing and so he is using it to his advantage because quite frankly you sound like someone who is easily confused. His behavior is bully-ish. He is humiliating you publicly and you are finding ways to fix yourself rather than focus on why your husband is being cruel. You should have told him if your sister was visiting if that is your agreement with him but to carry it to social media shows that he is a ------- . Honestly I cannot say just how little I think of him. He is your husband after all. I just could never wish a man like that on anyone I love.

to b candid i exprienced same in our early stages of marriage byt niw m good n api.to b frank u re angry deep down wit him n u re harbouring it cos to communicate ur tots to him is nt working
2,u re making ur hubby feel he has done nothing wrong n u re d bsd egg dat will bring u more frustration cos u feel u re unworthy of ur hubby which is rong n is obvious ur hubby paints u as d bad one.no let him c his faults too.
3,ur hubby wos immature to go n put anytin about his marriage online n he wanted to scare y
n u feel fr it.solution.
sit him dwn n tell ur pain n his faults let him do same
mind u d first year of marriage is frustrating.but trust me as time goes on u will c is a bliss.m going to d third year in mine

soulglo:
Your husband needs to go back to nursery school. He is not mature enough for a date much less marriage. I have a feeling he knows you get anxious about every little thing and so he is using it to his advantage because quite frankly you sound like someone who is easily confused. His behavior is bully-ish. He is humiliating you publicly and you are finding ways to fix yourself rather than focus on why your husband is being cruel. You should have told him if your sister was visiting if that is your agreement with him but to carry it to social media shows that he is a ------- . Honestly I cannot say just how little I think of him. He is your husband after all. I just could never wish a man like that on anyone I love.

u re too harsh.