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As A Man, Can You Do This? - Family - Nairaland

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As A Man, Can You Do This? by chocolateme(f): 6:57pm On Dec 31, 2014
Outside this country, people may feel and see it normal and usual but in our loving country Nigeria higher percentage of our men would never go for it maybe because of ego or just to preserve self respect.
You are a man with wife and kids, it happens that you had a temporal financial setback and it affected your tenancy, (worst case scenario quit notice from your landlord)
If your father in-law gives you an apartment in his building where he also lives with his family, would you accept it? Whether its a flat for you to pay rent or not, do you think it will depreciate the respect you earn from your wife or your inlaws? Will it be ok with you to be coming in contact with them on daily basis and knowing fully well that your wife and kids will 24 hours of the day be staying with them? For me, there is a limit to what a man can do, I may not deem it wise because with time, u will never have to run your home as u feel fit without the interference of your inlaws, what do u think?
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by holatin(m): 7:05pm On Dec 31, 2014
the wife can go but I wount live there.
God forbid dat sha
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by Nobody: 7:05pm On Dec 31, 2014
chocolateme:
Outside this country, people may feel and see it normal and usual but in our loving country Nigeria higher percentage of our men would never go for it maybe because of ego or just to preserve self respect.
You are a man with wife and kids, it happens that you had a temporal financial setback and it affected your tenancy, (worst case scenario quit notice from your landlord)
If your father in-law gives you an apartment in his building where he also lives with his family, would you accept it? Whether its a flat for you to pay rent or not, do you think it will depreciate the respect you earn from your wife or your inlaws? Will it be ok with you to be coming in contact with them on daily basis and knowing fully well that your wife and kids will 24 hours of the day be staying with them? For me, there is a limit to what a man can do, I may not deem it wise because with time, u will never have to run your home as u feel fit without the interference of your inlaws, what do u think?
its so nad cool..... I cnt stoop so low mehn..... I wont accept it if such situation arises....
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by lilmax(m): 7:43am On Jan 01, 2015
Things like this can never happen to me

E nor get how I wan get financial set back for marriage
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by wierdpsycho: 7:54am On Jan 01, 2015
NO NO NO NO NO NEVER!!!!!!!!!!
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by SAMBARRY: 8:00am On Jan 01, 2015
Chaiiii see egoo shocked



so this stewwwpeed ego still follow them enter new year sha grin

1 Like

Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by jmoore(m): 8:42am On Jan 01, 2015
Is it not a temporary stuff, huh?
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by Haywhymido(m): 8:58am On Jan 01, 2015
SAMBARRY:
Chaiiii see egoo shocked



so this stewwwpeed ego still follow them enter new year sha grin
if such happen to ur son tell to go n live in his father/mother in laws house.Dis 4 me has nthin to do with my ego it jst wrong.
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by SAMBARRY: 9:30am On Jan 01, 2015
Haywhymido:
if such happen to ur son tell to go n live in his father/mother in laws house.Dis 4 me has nthin to do with my ego it jst wrong.
but she can go and live with your mother abi? wink
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by Haywhymido(m): 9:43am On Jan 01, 2015
SAMBARRY:
but she can go and live with your mother abi? wink
see sister, i pray never to be in a situation dat will make my wife,children n i live in my parent nor my in laws house.except we r on occasional visit
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by SAMBARRY: 9:56am On Jan 01, 2015
Haywhymido:
see sister, i pray never to be in a situation dat will make my wife,children n i live in my parent nor my in laws house.except we r on occasional visit
amen o my brother cheesy
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by Haywhymido(m): 10:03am On Jan 01, 2015
SAMBARRY:
amen o my brother cheesy
thank jare

1 Like

Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by WorldGreatest1(m): 10:19am On Jan 01, 2015
.h
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by Wendy80(f): 6:38pm On Jan 01, 2015
Naija sha. Na wa oh. Being more catholic than the Pope.
OP is asking a 'what if' situation to get pple's opinion and I'm seeing it can't happen to me post.
Did OP say it will happen to U? Simply ans d question.
OP it's better the wife and kids stay, while d Man puts up with friends till things stabilises

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Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by Jamean(f): 6:05am On Jan 02, 2015
To me it's not such a bad idea from what I've closely experienced. It basically depends on the attitude of the inlaws.

I've lived all my life in a family house (where soldier go, soldier come). I once had a female cousin with such challenge, she came in with her husband and there was no adverse effect on her husband because nobody worried them.

Presently, I have an aunt with same issue, and it doesn't even seem they will ever move out. They are even the ones always making a scene in the neighbourhood sef, but nobody has your time at all.

Just pray it doesn't happen to you, to the point that's your last resort.

1 Like

Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by reaky(m): 7:45am On Jan 02, 2015
Jamean:
To me it's not such a bad idea from what I've closely experienced. It basically depends on the attitude of the inlaws.

I've lived all my life in a family house (where soldier go, soldier come). I once had a female cousin with such challenge, she came in with her husband and there was no adverse effect on her husband because nobody worried them.

Presently, I have an aunt with same issue, and it doesn't even seem they will ever move out. They are even the ones always making a scene in the neighbourhood sef, but nobody has your time at all.

Just pray it doesn't happen to you, to the point that's your last resort.



If all this happens in d same family
Big prayers is needed there
B4 it turns to a curse
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by Jamean(f): 8:26am On Jan 02, 2015
I'm glad you have a perfect family.

reaky:




If all this happens in d same family
Big prayers is needed there
B4 it turns to a curse

1 Like

Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by reaky(m): 8:31am On Jan 02, 2015
Jamean:
I'm glad you have a perfect family.


Sister no family is perfect o
Everyone has there own problems
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by obiak4(m): 11:15am On Jan 02, 2015
op it depend on the kind of family if they respect and would treat "us" with respect no problem
but situations like this will bring out the best from the man because he would want to be "free"
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by EfemenaXY: 8:21pm On Jan 02, 2015
chocolateme:
Outside this country, people may feel and see it normal and usual but in our loving country Nigeria higher percentage of our men would never go for it maybe because of ego or just to preserve self respect.
You are a man with wife and kids, it happens that you had a temporal financial setback and it affected your tenancy, (worst case scenario quit notice from your landlord)
If your father in-law gives you an apartment in his building where he also lives with his family, would you accept it? Whether its a flat for you to pay rent or not, do you think it will depreciate the respect you earn from your wife or your inlaws? Will it be ok with you to be coming in contact with them on daily basis and knowing fully well that your wife and kids will 24 hours of the day be staying with them? For me, there is a limit to what a man can do, I may not deem it wise because with time, u will never have to run your home as u feel fit without the interference of your inlaws, what do u think?

What's the alternative apart from sleeping out in the streets with your family?

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. The FIL should be thanked for his generosity of providing a temporary roof over the head of your family, whilst you find your feet. It's no big deal and vain pride shouldn't come into the picture.

1 Like

Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by Exponental(m): 4:51am On Jan 03, 2015
God forbid.......
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by chocolateme(f): 10:57am On Jan 03, 2015
Exponental:
God forbid.......
dear it's hard to imagine and accept but a man with family will still have to accept that because he has to protect his family, he may not be there with them always but leaving them there will help reduce the impact of the situation on them, that's how I see it.
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by Kimikazi2: 6:20am On Jan 04, 2015
I think its a bad idea!
Re: As A Man, Can You Do This? by Nobody: 11:54am On Jan 04, 2015
chocolateme:
dear it's hard to imagine and accept but a man with family will still have to accept that because he has to protect his family, he may not be there with them always but leaving them there will help reduce the impact of the situation on them, that's how I see it.
Very reasonable.

1 Like

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